Dick was screwed.
Father's Day was coming up in just over a week. Although this was technically the fourth year since his parents were killed, once again this was his first time when he was fully conscious of himself and not a mindless zombie.
Same as their death anniversary.
Begging these depressing thoughts in a corner of his mind, Father's Day was just around the corner and Dick still did not know what to give Slade.
What the hell could could you give the world's deadliest and most dangerous mercenary?
Dick did not know and he was becoming increasingly irritated and agitated.
This was going to be his first Father's Day with Slade, the man who saved his life and gave him a second chance: so he wanted to give him something special that would remain in their memories forever.
Dick had called Wintergreen, more than happy to get any advice and suggestions but the only thing he told him was the following:
"Whatever you give or do for Slade will be great and Slade will not be disappointed. I am sure he would be pleased and satisfied with even a simple "Happy Father's Day!""
Dick loved his Uncle Billy very much but damn it at least he could help him!
The acrobat was locked up in his bedroom after finishing his morning training -thanks to summer vacation for that!- meditating on what he could give his adoptive father.
One of his initial ideas was to write him a Father's Day card but he quickly discarded it. It was too classic and simple and Dick wanted to do something special.
The Talon continued to think about it intensely, distractedly performing various acrobatic moves such as cartwheels, verticals, etc., when an idea flashed through his mind.
Maybe I can bring him Ra's head served on a silver platter! Literally!
Most likely Slade would be proud of him and would be happy if he learned that the asshole was no longer a problem. And surely Dick could have received a little help from Talia and Sandra -yes, Dick has stayed in frequent contact with them and calls them at least twice a week- who would be more than happy to help him.
Unfortunately, Dick found himself forced to discard the idea after a few minutes of thought. Although it still remained an excellent idea, Dick wanted the day to be entirely about Richard and Slade and not Renegade and Deathstroke.
And in any case that would remain his plan B in case he did not come up with a better idea.
The young mercenary pouted and sat down on the bed. His eyes wandered lazily around his room until they abruptly shifted to his television when the words of the commercial caught his attention. Dick stared intently at the screen and what the commercial was showing and slowly a fantastic idea began to form in his mind.
As soon as the commercial ended a sinister smirk made its way onto Dick's face as he began to chuckle maniacally.
Slade will never see coming what will hit him! Literally!
Slade woke up jerkily as soon as he heard the door open but he did not even have time to get up that something hit him in the chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. He automatically wrapped his arms around his son who hugged the more experienced mercenary tightly, almost breaking his ribs.
"Happy Father's Day, Slade!"
The former military man froze in place and it took him a few seconds to fully process the kiddo's words. He emitted a good-natured chuckle and patted him on the head a few times. "Thank you, son."
Father and son remained wrapped in each other's embrace for an extended period of time, and both were fine with that.
"Wintergreen wants me to go to his house for some reason he didn't specify."
Dick looked away from the television and stared briefly at the super soldier before returning to watch Total Drama Island. "Strange. Let me know what the reason was when you come back."
"You're not going with me?" asked Slade, arching an eyebrow.
Usually Dick was always excited to visit his Uncle Billy, no matter if there was a special occasion or not.
So the fact that Dick did not want to go with him was cause for suspicion.
"Nah." the acrobat waved a hand dismissively. "I have to watch and figure out who will be eliminated in this episode before it is shown. My money is on Bridgette." he said pointing his finger in the direction of the cartoon character. "Anyway, say hello to Uncle Billy."
Slade suspiciously narrowed his gaze and stared at his son. Unfortunately, the Talon was completely relaxed and showed no sign of lying or that he was planning one of his usual pranks that damn him are truly wicked and evil.
Slade had the misfortune to witness this and he would rather have fought the entire Justice League alone than be the victim of one of his son's pranks.
Or have to face a Dick full of sugar in his body.
Slade was not ashamed that he shuddered in fright at the mere memory.
The world's deadliest mercenary stared at his son for a few more seconds before grunting abruptly. "Don't burn the house down."
"I won't."
"Don't destroy anything."
"I won't."
"Don't declare war on some state."
"I won't."
"Good. I won't have to take too long." Slade informed him, grabbing the car keys.
In response Dick shot him a thumbs-up without ever looking at him and Slade left the house, closing the door behind him. When he entered the car he sighed.
"Why do I have the distinct feeling that I'm going to regret this?"
It turned out that Wintergreen just wanted to spend some time with him in honor of the old days and when things were simpler. Slade actually enjoyed his time with his best friend and after more than two hours decided it was time to return home.
Hoping that there was still a home to return to.
Slade parked his car and discovered with great relief that yes, the house was still standing. The mercenary advanced toward the door and opened it, expecting the worst.
Instead, he encountered silence. And the interior of the dwelling looked clean and intact.
Slade closed the door behind him and took two steps forward.
That was his first mistake.
He emitted a surprised grunt when something hit him in the temple and his head snapped toward the direction from which that something came.
His gaze met with silence and total nothingness. Not even his enhanced hearing could pick up a single sound.
Slade lowered his gaze to his feet and stared at some kind of orange bullet. Confusion pervaded him but he did not even have time to think about what the hell was going on when he felt the same pain as before hit him in the temple.
He turned sharply and met his assailant: none other than his son himself with a shit-eating grin and some kind of toy gun in his hand.
Slade was pretty sure he hadn't bought him that thing.
"Your reflexes are diminishing, old man." Dick's smirk increased.
"What the hell is in your hand?"
"A nerf gun. You must be really old if you don't know it." Dick chuckled at his own comment and his gaze then grew serious and solemn. "I, Richard Wilson, openly declare war on you, Father. If you want any chance of survival you will have to be able to reach out and grab your own weapon."
Slade followed his son's direction and saw that another nerf gun was resting on the kitchen counter about ten feet away. "You know, if you really want to, we could do it with real guns."
"Absolutely not." declared the Talon bluntly. "This will be a father-and-son activity and will in no way involve our mercenary identities. Just pure, genuine fun."
At last understanding flashed through the super soldier's mind. "It was all your plan." he realized.
"Bingo." Dick nodded and gave a shark-like grin as he reloaded the nerf gun and then pointed it menacingly at his father. "Ready to not get out of here alive?"
Slade returned the shark grin and made his neck crack noisily. "Do your worst, kiddo."
If during the nearly three-hour-long nerf gun-themed war the world's most dangerous mercenary was genuinely enjoying it, laughing like he never had before and playing fierce as an extremely competitive child, well, only his son was witness to that.
Slade would not be lying if he said that this was the best Father's Day he has ever had.
And he looked forward to the ones in the following years, even though he would always fear what the son of Satan would put him through.
"Thank you, Dick. I really needed that."
"You're welcome, Dad."
