(Scenes from Legends of Tomorrow Season 4, Episodes 6 and 7)


I did a timeline sweep, which revealed that Miss Darhk has been working at a Renaissance fair in present-day Star City. Dr. Palmer's knighthood was revived for a moment. Despite her initial reluctance, Miss Darhk's powers ultimately have mended Mr. Constantine. Dr. Palmer then gave her the time stone (yes, again) as she was leaving the Waverider. However, she used it to willingly surrender herself to the Time Bureau. Perhaps he wasn't misguided in gifting her a second chance.

The next Monday morning, Captain Lance asks me what the date is. "Today is November 26, 2018." Broadly smiling, she orders a cake from a bakery and a bottle of rosé within the next hour. As you can guess, it is Director Sharpe's birthday. The captain is looking forward to celebrating the occasion. She leaves for the Time Bureau, wearing a trench coat, black stockings, and matching heels. Her outfit is meticulously concealed underneath. Contrariwise, her birthday surprise is ruined by an unplanned inspection conducted by Dr. Heywood and his father... on the Waverider! She disputes over the comms, "We have no time to explain why there's an 'Amaya' lookalike on board."

Miss Tomaz remembers that she last saw Charlie in the lab. The captain orders her and Dr. Palmer to steer the Heywood men, especially the younger, clear of there. A blissfully unaware Charlie is jamming to rock music.

Meanwhile, Dr. Heywood is giving his father a tour of the ship. He shows him the bridge and describes the meetings led by Captain Lance. The unimpressed Mr. Heywood asks, "And where is this Captain Lance?"

His son looks around and observes the vacant room. "Um...um, it's a little quiet, but I assure you Captain Lance is securing the Legends' next daring mission." The reasoning unconvinces him more. "Next up, the parlour, which it's spelled with a U because our first captain was British." And he left a void in me.

"So, why does a ship, formerly manned by a single person, now need—"

"A crew of six?" Dr. Palmer practically slides into the bridge from a side door. "I can explain that."

"Hey, Ray." Dr. Heywood hugs his best friend. "Don't you mean five?"

"Yeah, I do mean five." The astrophysicist chuckles, "I must've been thinking of Gideon as a real person."

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings, Dr. Palmer," I differ, exhibiting my new visage. It certainly grasps their attention.

"Oh, wow, Gideon," Dr. Heywood lauds. "Hubba-hubba. Love the new look."

"Miss Tomaz gave me, in her words, a facelift," I explain.

"This is a, uh, talking computer," Mr. Heywood inquires.

"I'm actually a quantum enhanced A.I. program, capable of operating on an autonomous function." Simply put, I am more than a 'talking computer'.

"So, what you're saying is," the ignorant executive scoffs, "you don't need any people on the ship."

"Oh no, no, no, no, we do." Dr. Heywood is close to suggesting Dr. Palmer take his father to the lab for a scientific demonstration. At that point, Miss Tomaz rushes in from another entry and persuades them to see the library. If they intended on surprising them, then finding a nude Mr. Constantine exercising there ought to do the trick. "Nate, it's good to see you, mate," he accosts. "You haven't seen the laboratory, have you?"

"No, why?"

Miss Tomaz interjects, "Because you should always save the best for last."

"Yeah," Dr. Palmer says. The astrophysicist is the only one avoiding eye contact. "You should put some clothes on when we have guests."

"So, this is your domain," Mr. Heywood questions his son.

"Let's move along." They all leave the library. Mr. Constantine puts on his flannel robe and joins them. Captain Lance made it back and got properly dressed. Gaining on them in the corridors, she presents herself. "Mr. Heywood, welcome aboard. I see you've had the complete tour."

Mr. Rory appears in the opposite direction. "He hasn't seen the lab yet." The captain and the others glower at him.

"That's a great idea," Dr. Heywood coincides. "Wait until you see this." He leads the way; the reformed arsonist disregards the exasperated stares he's receiving. The Legends fail to detour the suits to the Galley, the jumpship, or the bathroom. The undaunted historian winds up seeing Charlie in the lab. Mistaking her for Miss Jiwe, he's over the moon that she has returned. Dr. Heywood rushes in to embrace her. He calls her beautiful. Taken off guard, the shapeshifter removes her headphones and socks him in the jaw, exclaiming, "Get your stinking mitts off me, you knob." This bewilders him and Mr. Heywood, who has heard about Miss Jiwe. Mr. Rory relishes the aftermath of his instigation. He, Miss Tomaz and Mr. Constantine escort the confused representative out of the lab. Captain Lance and Dr. Palmer linger to provide Dr. Heywood with a much-delayed explanation. He accurately unravels the backstory. "I told my dad you guys were good at your jobs, and now you're adopting some magical creature who's pretending to be Amaya?"

"Hey, I'm not pretending to be anyone," Charlie protests.

"That said, Hank's already looking for ways to slash our funding," the captain notifies, "so maybe it isn't the worst idea to fake it for one mission."

"You want me to pretend to be this wanker's ex?"

Dr. Palmer affirms, "Sounds like classic Legends hijinks to me."

"We can't let Hank know that we're harboring a fugitive," Captain Lance states. "We just need to show him one mission and send him on his way before anything can go wrong."

"Maybe leaving him with those three isn't the best idea."

She realizes Dr. Heywood is right. "We should go." They dash out to find them before things can get worse. Charlie is fed up with all this. I let them know that Mr. Heywood is in the parlour. They eventually charge into the bridge and uncover the magic-o-meter has detected an anomaly. "Where would it be? The Wild West, medieval China, or..." She glances at the panel. "Paris in the Roaring Twenties?"

"Oh-la-la," Dr. Palmer comments.

"Gideon, plot a course."

"Yes, Captain, right away."

Mr. Heywood implores, "Explain to me how this magic-o-meter of yours works." Mr. Rory gives an uncouth overview. The other Legends augment the details. "And it takes six of you to do that?"

"Seven if you count Amaya." He means Charlie.

I hint, "Eight if you count me." Mr. Heywood documents this in his notepad, considering it "a little inefficient".

Captain Lance forwards, "Which is why we separate into two very important teams. Z, John, Ray and Amaya will stay on the ship to quarterback while the rest of us go in search of whatever's wreaking havoc in gay Paree." Dr. Heywood reassures, since it'll be their first mission, he has got his father covered. The silver-haired honcho remarks that he didn't "get coldcocked by a girl". The offended captain asks, "Have you ever been hit by a girl, Hank?" Her implied threat aptly humbles him. "Hmm, we should head out."

I take them to 1927 Paris. The captain, Mr. Rory, and the Heywoods investigate the anachronism. Dr. Palmer and the others try to get Charlie to impersonate Miss Jiwe. The plot quickly falls through; Charlie desists pretending to be the "twee old nag". She secretly costumes herself to explore the city. Dr. Palmer aims for them to abide Captain Lance's order. Miss Tomaz and Mr. Constantine determined they were assigned to quarterback, so they won't promote embarrassment in front of Mr. Heywood. She asserts, "While Hank's around, the three of us..."

"Four if you count Charlie," the soothsayer appends.

"Five if you count me," I prompt in bristles.

"...are extraneous."

"You know what," Mr. Constantine insinuates, "you can walk straight off the ship, and nobody would even bleeding notice." The astrophysicist decides to test that theory by borrowing the jumpship. Any guesses as to where—and why—he's going?

Captain Lance tows a grazed Mr. Heywood to the medbay. "Gideon, Hank's hurt." She adjusts him into one of the chairs. "Show him what you can do."

"Right away, Captain."

Dr. Heywood hurries in behind them. "Dad, are you okay? Please don't blame the Legends. I should have been there."

"Because then you have seen me lock eyes with the beast, and it was in that moment that I felt a deep and mutual respect." Is Mr. Heywood speaking like an Ernest Hemingway character?

"Wow, someone's been bonding with Papa."

"Yeah," the captain mutters.

"Respect that gave way to resolve as the beast drew its blade. The dance has begun."

"Okay, Gideon." I initiate the scan and tend to the patient's injured shoulder; she pulls Dr. Heywood aside. "So, CliffsNotes: big ax, bigger monster, knows we're on it. We need a Plan B quick."

He backtracks to his father's side. "Dad, you heal up. We've got this."

"No, like hell," he defiantly proclaims. "I owe it to him to finish this..." I administer a sedative to silence him. "...fight." I'm sure Mr. Hemingway won't mind his #1 fan resting for a while.

"And you thought a Minotaur was bullheaded?"

"Ooh, mythology burn." Captain Lance and Dr. Heywood leave the medbay in a high mood. "It's good to have you back." Truly. They meet up with Charlie in the corridor and enter the library. "We need to bag ourselves a Minotaur before your dad gets himself killed." Mr. Constantine revamps a hookah pipe to emit the putrid musk of a female Minotaur. According to him, Minotaurs use a strong sense of smell to track their prey. "It's good, but we still need a way to tame it and get it to the Bureau."

That gives Dr. Heywood an idea; he retrieves a book off the shelf. He reads aloud, "To ease the Minotaur's rage, his mother would play him a lullaby on a lute built by Daedalus."

"That's it," the captain grants. "We'll lure it out and lull it to sleep."

"No one gets hurt," Charlie endorses, "not even the Minotaur."

"And then we'll have a pizza party." They revisit the parlour, where Mr. Heywood has reverted to battle mode. This mission has excited his militaristic instincts.

"Back on your feet already, Hank," Captain Lance knowingly queries.

"Yeah, your gal patched me up good. I'm just running through our strategy." Mr. Constantine dislikes him touching the Dungeons Dragons miniatures. Dr. Heywood can't believe they played the game without him either. His father contests the necessity for the lute or "that small guitar". Mr. Rory mishears "loot" and "liar" before falling back asleep.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a change in the timeline," I debrief. "An attack at Cafe du Dome is imminent. There will be no survivors." Mr. Constantine deduces the Minotaur is tracking Ernest Hemingway's scent. Mr. Heywood ventures out, but his son blocks him and refuses to comply. He insists on his command as his superior. Dr. Heywood chides his father for wanting to be better than him. Mr. Heywood affronts his son for rebuffing every lesson he's taught him. On the other hand, the latter highlights how the former has only one lesson: to be more like him. He has accepted who he is. Mr. Heywood figures if his son won't listen to him, then he'll listen to Captain Lance.

Instead of siding with the elder, she vouches for the younger Heywood. "I know his idea sounds crazy, but he's right. That's what makes him a Legend, no matter where he is." She advances to the stiff gaffer, continuing, "You said you wanted to see a Legends mission. Well, you're about to, and if it goes wrong, well, you go ahead and fire all of us." One of the things I admire about the captain is that she knows when to take a risk.

The Minotaur is tamed by Mr. Heywood's impressive guitar skills and singing voice. Although the mission was "a chaotic, reckless, wasteful mess", he finally sees the Legends' value and sustains their funding. Dr. Heywood stays behind to talk to Captain Lance. He admits the mission was fun; he notices how so much has changed. He loves everyone here, but his place is with the Time Bureau. The captain lets him know she's proud of him. Before he goes, the Legends throw him a pizza party. Dr. Heywood reminds them that they can visit him at the Bureau. He divulges how he boarded the ship to escape his issues at home, quoting Hemingway of all people. His tenure as a Legend helped him evolve into the man he wants to be. Since they don't know when it ends, he advises them, "Enjoy the ride while it lasts." He cordially approaches Charlie and believes that she'll find her place with the Legends.


For those of you who are wondering, Director Sharpe didn't get to celebrate her birthday with Captain Lance. She'd enjoyed it with two unlikely friends: Miss Mona Wu and Miss Darhk. The director paid an overnight visit after Dr. Heywood's retirement party. "Thanks for staying at my place this time," the captain tells her.

"Oh, I love sleeping next to you. I just wish that your place didn't mean sharing a bathroom with..."

Garima walks past them in the corridor. The purple skinned woman has a strong build, long auburn hair, and three breasts. "Beer."

"Yes, Garima. Beer." Captain Lance declares, "It's the only word Rory taught her."

Director Sharpe is gobsmacked. "Wait, Rory's still using Brigid's diary?" Brigid's diary was a Celtic book that animates fictionized characters. It was uncovered during the Legends' mission in 1951 Tokyo, Japan. The warrior queen was manifested to defeat a giant octopus. The book was formerly in Mr. Constantine's possession. As demonstrated, Mr. Rory has stolen it back. "That thing is an ancient magical artifact."

"Yeah, but it keeps him happy."

"Sara, be reasonable. You can't let Rory keep the diary." They reach the Galley, where the captain pours two cups of coffee for them. Miss Tomaz is already having her breakfast. She notes that Garima, though lacking vocabulary, compensates in personality. Dr. Palmer hides the lower half of his jaw with a sheet of paper. He believes that a happier Mr. Rory is better for the ship. Thereby he displays his bushy mustache to a lukewarm reception.

Captain Lance grins to the point of gritting her teeth. She flatters, "Killer 'stache."

The rational chairwoman scratches her neck. "Interesting." The astrophysicist asked me to stimulate his hair follicles for overnight growth. He learned from Miss Darhk's letters that she like mustachioed men. They have started an epistolary correspondence. Director Sharpe and the captain join him and Miss Tomaz at the table. "Sorry, but how are we being so blasé about the diary? What if Rory goes from writing sci-fi to horror? Do you want killer clowns running around the ship?" Contrary to her perception, Mr. Rory detests clowns.

Dr. Palmer examines the cereal box. "The only killer on the ship is the amount of sugar in this cereal. 'Big Easy O's'." Miss Tomaz likes how they taste like beignets. He notes the quiz on the back. "Who is the most prolific serial killer in the United States?"

"Ted Bundy," Director Sharpe informally answers. "Although, in my opinion, John Wayne Gacy has way more victims than he has confessed." The others are befuddled by her offhand remark. "What? Everyone has their hobbies." Hers is evidently reading up on serial killers.

"Well, sorry, Ava, according to this not-so-kid-friendly cereal, the correct answer is New Orleans' Marie Laveau."

"What?" She snatches the cereal box to see it for herself. "A high-profile female serial killer? No, I would've heard of her. The box is wrong."

"Unless...," Captain Lance suspects. "Gideon?"

"You are right, Captain. It appears a Fugitive is on the loose in New Orleans in 1856. According to local lore, there were a series of murders perpetrated by a criminal who could walk through walls."

"Sounds like we're going mindhunting in the Big Easy. Gideon, plot a course." Yes, Captain. The Legends unite in the bridge after they gussied up. "All right, Legends. Next stop: 'N'awlins'. We have a Fugitive serial killer, and it's a weird one."

"Yeah, it says here that all the victims were wealthy blonde ladies stabbed to death in their locked bedrooms," Charlie emphasizes. "Spooky."

The specific detail strikes a chord with Director Sharpe. "That's the MO of Mike the Spike." Her uncommon pastime is advantageous.

The captain inquires her, "Am I gonna find a murder board in your closet?" She mouths no, but I deem it to be a possibility.

"New Orleans is a crap town," Mr. Constantine decries, "although anything's better than that tush tickler." He dislikes Dr. Palmer's mustache too. Miss Tomaz deciphers that the police has inculpated Voodoo priestess Marie Laveau, one of the few powerful women of color at that time. The news barely surprises her. Mr. Rory bolts into the bridge, accusing Mr. Constantine of repossessing the diary. Dr. Palmer attempts to squash the tiff with a mustache joke. Mr. Rory threatens to "knock that fur ball off [his] lip". Clearly, no one is enthralled with the astrophysicist's mustache.

"I confiscated the diary," the director briskly confesses. "It's Time Bureau property now. Don't worry, Rory. Garima will always be right where she belongs. In your imagination." This provides little comfort to the reformed arsonist.

"Rory, I'm sorry," Captain Lance pardons. "Ava was just doing her job, which is exactly what the rest of us needs to do. Ray, Mick, we'll be protecting the Fugitive's first victim, Miss Didi Charbonnet. She's hosting a party this afternoon. John, I need you to talk to Laveau. Find out how she's mixed up in all this." Charlie decides to accompany him. The captain obliges and tags Miss Tomaz with them. I warn the "A-Team" that Miss Charbonnet's murder will occur in an hour. As I overhear the conversation via the comms, Mr. Rory and Director Sharpe are understandably in conflict. "I know a woman I could stab. Rhymes with 'Shava'."

"Rory, play nice," the captain reprimands.

"Don't worry, I can handle myself against the cretin," her significant other asserts.

"Whatever, man-pants." On another line, Miss Tomaz conveys that she and Charlie can't find Mr. Constantine and access his comms. I mention that he has refused to wear the earpiece. Per Captain Lance's request, I've fabricated a tracker in every pair of his undershorts. Charlie calls her a "cheeky little minx". Indubitably. Miss Tomaz informs me to send her a location once I trace him. I accordingly transmit the coordinates to the Voodoo Priestess's residence.

Miss Tomaz, Charlie, and Mr. Constantine portal to the ship. The Fugitive is a Dybbuk, a deceased person's spirit that can't transcend due to its wickedness. Captain Lance indirectly surmises that it's hiding in a doll. As Miss Tomaz proceeds to the bridge, the soothsayer recalls Charlie, who is slowly regaining her shapeshifting abilities, requiring a favor from him. The two mischief makers stow away on the jumpship to present-day New Orleans. The captain, Director Sharpe, Dr. Palmer, and Mr. Rory carry a burnt doll upon arriving. The former pair brings it to the lab, where they chain it to the top of a cart. "One thing I learned from the Chucky movies is the doll always comes back," Captain Lance remarks.

"Gideon, how's the timeline," the chairwoman queries.

"History is on track, and Marie Laveau lived a long and celebrated life," I brief, "inspiring an Emmy-nominated portrayal by Angela Bassett." They are pleased with my report.

"See? Rory killed the Dybbuk, which is unfortunate because now I have to explain to Mr. Heywood why I'm bringing him a seared doll instead of a magical creature." Director Sharpe prods it with a stick.

"Well, at least we get to find out why they call it the Big Easy." The captain gently tucks a lock of her steady's hair behind her ear, yet she pays no mind.

"Did you happen to notice how Rory robbed that party blind?"

"I believe it," she indifferently replies.

Director Sharpe shakes her head in disbelief. "I don't understand why you enable his bad behavior. At the Bureau, we would fire people for lesser offenses."

Captain Lance sighs, "Well, at the Bureau, you don't have to drink, eat, and sleep with your team."

"Point taken. It's just...this is supposed to be a professional operation, babe."

"Look, deep down, Rory's a good guy and, honestly, a friend."

"I get it. You run your team, I'll run mine. Speaking of, I should get back to the Bureau."

"How 'bout you stay for dinner?"

She cogitates the last-minute invitation. "I could use a shower." The two exit the lab with their arms enclosing the other's waist. "Besides, it's not like that thing's going anywhere."

Meanwhile, Miss Tomaz inquires me if I know where Mr. Constantine and Charlie are. I access the jumpship logs and have her listen to their conversation. He insists on going back; I tell him that's impossible... due to Miss Tomaz now knowing about their scheme. She lambasts them via transmission, saying that she hates being played even more than babysitting. She thus orders me to redirect the jumpship to the Waverider. They meet up with her in the library. Mr. Constantine pours himself a glass of whiskey. He divulged that he doesn't fancy himself as someone who believes in love and romance. All that changed six months ago when he came to New Orleans and met Desmond. He knew about the soothsayer's deeds; still, it didn't matter to him. Their relationship got serious to the point where they rented an apartment. The one thing that ruined everything for them was a demon named Neron. Another bloody demon. He had expected him to assist him in usurping the infernal triumvirate, especially since he had the deed to Mr. Constantine's soul. The latter naturally told him to "piss off". The former obviously didn't take the rejection so well. Mr. Constantine knew that Neron would use Desmond against him, so he urged him to flee. He refused and was dragged down to the abyss. In truth, the warlock joined the Legends to dodge his guilt; he realized, upon returning to New Orleans, it was a cowardly decision. Charlie asks Miss Tomaz why their plan failed. The programmer deduces some points in time are fixed; Mr. Constantine and Desmond were bound to meet. She offers to use her simulator to find a loophole and preserve history. He accepts the gesture. Charlie seems disappointed by this setback. She follows him to the cargo bay, convinced he has omitted something from the compelling history. He does not give himself away.

In the Galley, Captain Lance is putting the final touch on a cooked roast. Director Sharpe catches her after she has taken her shower. "Well, you went all out." She notices that they are not alone. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Leaving," Mr. Rory growls. He is likewise resentful to see her.

The captain stops them from walking out. "Wait. Wait. Both of you, look." The reformed criminal resumes his seat. She carries the platter to the table prepared for three. "I roasted a roast."

I opine, "Technically, Captain, I fabricated—"

"Shut up, Gideon," she hollers. I get minimal appreciation or due credit. The director reluctantly approaches the opposite end of the table. "Ava, you are my dear, and Mick, you are my family, and it would mean the world to me if both of you would try to get along." Captain Lance entreats her to sit. The mediator opens a bottle of red wine and pours some into a glass. "So, I was thinking...maybe you two could find some common ground. For example, Ava, you love to read. Mick here is an author."

"Oh, well, that's something," Director Sharpe remarks, exerting her table manners. "Though I would be shocked if his novel wasn't sexist and derivative."

"It is," Mr. Rory bluntly claims.

"Okay, well, Mick, you love to eat. Ava is a fantastic baker. She makes one mean snickerdoodle."

He doesn't seem amazed. "Fancy sugar cookies."

"Snickerdoodles are actually completely different. It's a cream of tartar base, but..."

"Garbage cookies."

"That's rich, coming from a man who's so lacking in personal hygiene that he has to resort to sleeping with a three-breasted alien sex toy." I'm now reminded why her surname is Sharpe.

"Well, at least Garima isn't a clone." Oh no.

The director tells him defensively, "Only I get to use the C-word."

"Too far, Mick," the captain grumbles. "Too far."

He implores, "Why do you get to have a fake girlfriend, and I don't?" Mr. Rory finally leaves the table. He uses the C-word on Director Sharpe again. She retorts by referring him to a particular male organ.

Miss Tomaz has analyzed the results from her simulator. They are less than positive. She makes this known to Mr. Constantine, who has relocated to the library. The computer specialist empathizes with his desire to save a loved one. She quickly notices something is off about him. Facing him, she realizes that she is speaking with Charlie. She gasps for air as she retains her 'Miss Jiwe' form. The real Mr. Constantine has returned to present-day New Orleans "commando", as the shapeshifter calls it. An enraged Miss Tomaz drags her through the corridor. She questions what she is gaining from this ill-advised design. Charlie admits that she is dying. Embodying Miss Jiwe for a lengthy period has started aging her. Miss Tomaz threatens to have her spend her mortal life in the Time Bureau's deepest and darkest prison cell if Mr. Constantine's plan backfires. She takes off, leaving Charlie with that dreadful outcome.

In the Galley, Captain Lance and Director Sharpe are decluttering the table. The dinner is catastrophic to say the least. "Look, this is my fault," the former apologizes. "I shouldn't have forced it on you and Mick."

"No," the latter responds. "He was stating a fact, you know. I am a... clone." As thoughtless Mr. Rory can be, his words hurt her.

The captain rubs her back "Hey..."

"No, it's okay. Sometimes, I just wish I could be more like you and the Legends. You're able to loosen up. I..."

"When did that happen?" They spot a bag of spilling flour on the counter.

"Oh no. I'll get a broom."

"Ava, look." They discover a trail of footsteps leading out the Galley. The startling part is the size of the tracks.

"Are those tiny little footprints?" That would mean...

"The Dybbuk is alive." All systems including me are shut off at that moment. Thankfully, it's temporary since Captain Lance has fixed me. A wounded Director Sharpe is clinging to Mr. Rory of all people. They have informed the captain about the Dybbuk occupying another toy figure. She stands up, asking, "What could be worse than a creepy antebellum doll?" A sinister laugh and roaming of feet are heard in the air ducts. Dr. Palmer bursts in, panicking over his half-shaven mustache. He is then suffocated by the Dybbuk in the Professor Stein moppet. Mr. Rory echoes his aversion for puppets and rips it off the scientist. As Captain Lance kicks it, a mysterious energy field permeates the temporal zone and the Waverider.