The interdimensional demon had only been with the Gleefuls for a little over two days, and Mabel was already at the end of her rope.
She considered herself to be a patient person, as you'd have to be if you had Dipper for a brother. The day he tore his eyes away from the mirror and did what he was supposed to was the day she had gone certifiably insane.
But this demon had just about pushed her to her limits.
"I must say, you are by far the oddest masters I've ever served," Will babbled as he hovered above the dinner table, where Mabel and Dipper ate breakfast in silence. "Which is certainly saying something, because I've had my fair share of unusual masters. Usually they just want me to find their dead loved ones from another dimension, or redo a mistake from their past, but your plan...well, it's definitely interesting. Although, it's probably not very possible, now is it? I mean, I'm sure you're quite powerful, but I really-"
Dipper picked up his fork and stabbed it viciously into Great Uncle Ford's precious mahogany table, finally silencing the demon. "If you don't shut up, I'm going to rip your one eyeball out of its socket and eat it like it's caviar," he hissed, his blue eyes burning with rage.
For once, Mabel agreed. She had to say, Dipper could be threatening when he felt like it (which, apparently, was almost never).
Since the moment they'd summoned Will Cipher, the twins had been a ticking time bomb of anxiety. They'd summoned him, sure, but the most important aspect of the mission was, evidently, impossible at the moment. To top it all off, Great Uncle Ford was going to be calling any minute.
Mabel groaned, running a hand through her hair, which never seemed to stay down even after dozens of empty hairspray bottles. "We are just asking you to do one simple thing, and you can't even do that! All you seem to know how to do is annoy us out of our minds!" she snapped.
Will's expression turned sheepish. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it simple. There are limitations, you know."
Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
The demon beamed. "I'm glad you asked! For starters, I can't just go to a new dimension all on my own. I'm not that powerful. If you want me to bring you to another dimension with all of your molecules attached, I'm going to need a bit of help. You have the blueprints, don't you?"
The twins exchanged glances. "Blueprints? What blueprints?" Mabel demanded.
"Oh, then that's your problem right there!" Will exclaimed. "For this to work, you need to create a rift. I have the ability to move between rifts in time and space, but I can't pass through what isn't there. If this is the dimension that I think it is, then the blueprints for this interdimensional device should be in those journals of yours, I believe there's three of them..."
A beat of silence.
Mabel slammed her head down on the table and stayed there.
"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? Oh gosh, did I kill them already?"
Dipper sighed and pulled out his cellphone. "Well. This is a pickle, isn't it?" He started dialing a number on it.
She looked up slightly from her position, but didn't lift her head. "Who are you calling?"
Her brother smirked in that way he always did when he annoyed her. "We need someone to build the device, don't we? I think I know a guy."
...
"Do you think it could have been a leprecorn?"
Gideon looked up from the journal and stared at his cousin. "Do you usually summon those through a demonic ritual?"
Pacifica shrugged. "I don't know. They look kind of creepy."
"...We'll put it under maybe."
In the days following the incident in the woods, Gideon had been scouring every page of the journal for a hint of what the strange blue triangle had been. So far, he hadn't had much luck.
"Maybe even the author doesn't know about it," his cousin suggested.
He shook his head immediately. "No, the Gleefuls needed the journals to summon it, it has to be in here somewhere. It doesn't look like whatever page it's on is labeled like the others." Which was absolutely infuriating.
"What about those blank pages at the end?" Pacifica grinned and lowered her voice ominously. "I bet there's tons of mysterious secrets in those."
Gideon couldn't help but chuckle, and started flipping absentmindedly through the empty pages in the back. "If there is, that would be a great plot twist for later-wait." His fingers froze at a specific page, one that was definitely not blank. "What is this?"
It sort of looked like one of those advanced coloring books his mom got sometimes, a mismatch of geometrical shapes, all fixed in a circular pattern. There were no words, no codes, nothing but a bunch of shapes.
Pacifica, who had been looking at it from over his shoulder, whistled. "Now that's mysterious."
"GIDEON! THE BLONDE ONE! GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I GIVE YOU BOTH DOUBLE SHIFTS!"
He sighed, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "We'd better get down there. I don't know how many more times I can say 'we put the fun in no refunds'".
...
Bud was flashing them a grin that seemed to be physically hurting him, while holding a frying pan and wearing a hot pink Kiss the Cook apron. "Howdy, kids! How'd you like some good old-fashioned Bud Biscuits?""
Pacifica lit up. "Ooh! What are those?"
A shrug. "Regular biscuits that probably have some of my hair in it."
"Pass."
"Absolutely not."
"Suit yourself." Bud took an experimental bite of a finished biscuit, then promptly threw it away. "Anyway, I was thinking. We haven't been hanging out much these last couple weeks, have we?"
"Nope! You still don't know my name!" Pacifica beamed.
Gideon narrowed his eyes. "Did Uncle Preston put you up to this?"
"What?" Bud scoffed. "Like I need that goody two shoes hippie to tell me what to do with my family. No, I just realized that before I die an untimely death and leave all my debt to you, I should cherish these memories while I'm still young. Kind of."
"Wait, you're in de-"
"Aww, this is so wholesome!" Pacifica gushed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Where are we going for our special family outing?"
His dad winked. "It's a secret," he whispered, leaning in close. Then he straightened up with his hands on his hips, a broad grin plastered on his face. "Now! Who's ready to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"
"Me!"
"Pacifica, no-"
...
After an (incredibly) terrifying car ride, their blindfolds were ripped off, and they were met with the sight of creaky wooden fishing boats and the putrid smell of fish.
This wasn't boding well.
"It's fishing season!" Bud exclaimed, gesturing grandly to the lake neither of them knew existed. "You know, what's a more classic father-son activity than your old man teaching you how to fish?" He paused. "You can come too, Atlantica."
Gideon sucked in air between his teeth. "Yeah, about that...Uncle Preston already taught me how to fish. Like several years ago."
His dad's entire face spasmed. "What?"
"Oh yeah! You're right, he totally did! He said that he was going to teach you because your dad probably never would!" Pacifica piped up.
Bud's face burned like a bomb about to go off, and he opened his mouth to likely say some choice words, but was conveniently interrupted by the sound of a boat pulling up to the dock.
Melody waved from the hull of the S.S. Space Jam and grinned, caramel hair blowing in the wind. "Hey, guys! What's up?"
They both beamed. "Melody!"
Bud only glared at her. "Since when did you own a boat? I don't pay you enough for that."
"Oh, I picked it up from some abandoned marina and fixed it up! I think it used to be haunted or something, but the psychic I hired said all the bad energy was gone, so...anyway! What are you guys up to?"
"I'm taking the kids fishing-"
Both Gideon and Pacifica got down on their knees. "Oh, Melody, please save us from this torture!"
"I can't take those creepy worms staring at me any longer!" Pacifica pleaded.
"I can't take several hours of listening to his frankly disturbing anecdotes that no one finds funny!" Gideon moaned.
Bud stood up in his boat. "Hey! I made you biscuits!"
Melody put her hands up to slow them down. "Come on, that's not super nice. I'm sure it won't be that bad. Besides, what are you going to do anyway? It's not like you're suddenly going to be swept away on some grand adventure-"
"Excuse me!"
The teenagers got up and turned to face a wiry, eccentric looking old man, who was holding a notepad and rapidly clicking a pen. He had a long nose, a long white beard, a few wisps of hair on his head, and bony hands. His round glasses were cracked, and wore a loose, olive green coat, with bell bottoms and dark brown dress shoes. He had a banjo strapped to his back.
Pacifica pointed to herself. "Us?"
"Yes indeedy, miss!" the man exclaimed, a thick country accent seeping through. "Tell me, 'ave you noticed anythin' odd 'bout this 'ere lake?"
"Uh...no?"
The man was undeterred, his entire frame bouncing up and down. "Any strange bubbles, or abnormal currents, or fifty ton aquatic monstrosities that pop out of the water like a harbinger of the apocalypse?" He screamed the last part a bit.
Gideon inched away slowly. "Er, no, I don't think so."
"Are you talking about the gobblewonker?" Melody asked suddenly, shifting all the focus onto her.
"The what?" the three of them said in unison, though the stranger was grinning like he'd won the Nobel prize.
"Yeah, you haven't heard it before? It's just some dumb story about this giant underwater monster that lives in the lake, over by Scuttlebutt Island." She turned around and pointed towards an ominous-looking island in the distance.
Pacifica snorted. "Butt."
The old man sprinted to the dock and got down on one knee in front of Melody."Ma'am, I require this 'ere sailin' vessel to embark on a dangerous quest to find this mysterious beast o' legend!"
"Woah, okay, settle down," she interrupted. "First off, I'm not just going to let a complete stranger take my boat. Second of all, I'm pretty sure the gobblewonker isn't actually real, it's just a story used to scare kids from swimming in the lake right after lunch."
The stranger immediately scrambled to his feet, tucking his notepad and pen into his jacket. "My days, I apologize! In all the hubbub, I darn up and forgot to introduce myself!" He held out his hand for her to shake. "Dr. Fiddleford McGucket, at your service! I specialize in mechanical engineering, but I 'ave a bit of a soft spot for anomalies, ya see."
"Anomalies?" Gideon perked up.
"Yes!" McGucket exclaimed. "Things that are odd, unusual, statistically improbable! I've never seen so many in one place before, I may just pack up and move!"
The two cousins glanced at each other, then turned back to McGucket. "Can we please come with you to go find that monster?" they begged together.
"Hey, now, let's not be hasty," Bud finally interjected, after being very confused for several minutes. "Sure, you could go out on some incredible adventure, or you could spend the entire day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your dear old dad!"
A beat.
"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" Gideon and Pacifica chanted, clambering into the S.S. Space Jam and dragging McGucket in with them.
"Onwards, my fellow associates! Towards adventure and the promise o' the great unknown!" he declared. Melody shrugged and started up the motor, leaving Bud behind sitting in his wooden boat.
...
"So...Dr. McGucket?"
The old scientist paused in his erratic note-taking to look down at Gideon. "Yes, 'lil feller?"
He decided to ignore the nickname in favor of pulling out his own notebook and one of the only pens he hadn't destroyed yet. "Would you mind if I asked you several billion questions about Gravity Ascends and anomalies?"
McGucket burst out into a grin. "Why, o'course, son! I never pass up the chance to impart valuable knowledge on youngsters like yerself! So many strange encounters...there was the gnome colony back west...and a tribe of female minotaurs up in the mountains...oh! I done almost forgot about the Love God! What a strange 'fella..."
"Actually, now that I'm thinking about it..." Gideon hastily scribbled out a rough sketch of the triangle being he'd seen a few nights prior, and held it out for McGucket to see. "Have you ever seen or heard of anything that looks like this?"
His smile dropped as he studied the image in front of him. He gingerly took it out of Gideon's hands and held it up to his face, adjusting his glasses. He then proceeded to stare at it for a whole minute. By now, Gideon was starting to sweat, wondering if he'd offended him somehow.
But then the scientist beamed. "Nope! Ain't never seen it before."
Well, that wasn't normal behavior. Then again, was McGucket really a normal person? He made a mental note to keep an eye on the doctor from now on. "Oh...okay then." Gideon took the sketch back, wadded it up, and stuck it in his vest. "Could you tell me if you find out anything though?"
"Sure can do!" McGucket exclaimed. "I don't happen to know how long I'm stayin' for, but I'll keep an eye out for it!"
"Hey, McGucket?"
The pair and Melody turned towards Pacifica, who was leaning over the side of the boat and staring at the lake. "Are those suspicious bubbles in the water normal?"
They barely needed to glance at each other before they dashed over to where Pacifica was standing and looked into the water. Sure enough, large bubbles that were definitely not from the motor were forming, and they could just make out a dark shape slithering underneath the waves.
"It's the Gobblewonker!" Gideon thought he might have a heart attack at sixteen. "And it's heading towards Scuttlebutt Island! You were right, Melody, you were right!"
"A-ha! We 'ave found our creature at last! Let us pursue this beast in the name o'science, my friends!" McGucket opened up the inside of his coat, revealing a number of doo-hickeys that Gideon couldn't possibly name strapped to the fabric. He started pulling a few out while muttering to himself.
"Huh," Melody said, increasing the speed of the boat and staring off at the island. "I always thought that stuff like this were just rumors made up by Bud to sell keychains." She paused. "If we find this thing, do you think I'll get a raise?"
"No," Gideon and Pacifica answered in unison.
"Worth a shot."
A few minutes later, the S.S. Space Jam pulled up to the shores of Scuttlebutt Island, which looked just as ominous up close as it did from a distance. The pine trees were pointed like daggers, echoes bounced off of the rocks, and a thick fog covered the entire area.
"Well," Pacifica piped up, snapping a picture with a disposable camera. "This looks fun!"
Gideon turned on his flashlight to cut through the mist. "Come on, gang," he declared, channeling all the ghost-hunting shows he's seen. "No turning back now-hey, wait!"
His cousin was already skipping ahead of the rest of the group, taking more pictures and wielding a glow-stick that he didn't even know she had. McGucket and Melody followed quickly after, none of them sparing a glance at Gideon behind them.
"Hey, guys! Wait for me!"
...
"And I think that's what made me the way I am. All of these traumatic events from my childhood poisoned my adult life, and now I don't even know who I am. Was my personality molded from these events, or did I retain my personality in spite of them?...What do you think?"
His reflection in the water did not answer.
"Aaaarrrgghh!" Bud hollered at the sky. "Why couldn't Preston just leave me have this one thing? Not my fault I haven't been to California for seven years. I would've gotten to it eventually, but no, I'm just a deadbeat dad who doesn't know what they're doing."
No one but crickets and frogs replied, and Bud let out a long sigh. Clearly Gideon and what's-her-face thought hunting some fake monster was better than being fishing buddies with him. That's fine. I don't need them anyway.
"Welp," he announced, putting his hands together. "Time to take out my frustrations on other people!"
...
Meanwhile, four daring adventurers trekked across Scuttlebutt Island in search of a terrifying creature.
"...and I thought my light-up scrunchies were a great idea, but the craft fair managers said no, that's a fire hazard, somebody could get hurt, or, you know, something like that. So I just sold mood rings that I made from melting down my mom's flower pots."
Gideon would rather take a man-eating monster right about now.
"Don't you let any 'fella stop ya in your pursuit of science!" McGucket insisted, apparently very passionate about the subject. "The limits o' the world were meant to be tested, no matter the cost! After all, you can't learn to put out fires without startin' 'em first."
"Wow!" Pacifica gushed. "That's so inspiring, and borderline illegal!"
Gideon rushed forward to keep pace with his cousin and the scientist. "Speaking of illegal, what were those tools inside your coat? I could've sworn one of them was a taser with large needles attached to it."
"Oh, that 'ol thing!" He pulled out said taser from his coat and held it up for them to see. "I call it the Static Syringe! You have to get the angle jus' right and get darn close to your target, but once ya do, it's worth it. It's three times as strong as a regular 'ol taser, and injects a paralytic that will hold 'em still for hours. The volts'll go through 'em for a while." He let out a misplaced laugh. "I invented wit' one o'my college buddies, and had a blast tryin' 'em out."
No one said a word.
McGucket beamed, seemingly oblivious to the awkward silence. "It'll be darn useful on a monster hunt, lemme tell ya! Thanks for remindin' me, I'll keep this one on hand..."
As the scientist walked ahead of the group, Melody leaned down to whisper into the teenagers' ears. "Hey, does anyone else think that this guy is super shady and should probably be arrested?"
"I'm all for quirks and eccentricity, but I feel very unsafe after that." Pacifica rubbed her arms.
Gideon made sure to lower his voice so that McGucket couldn't hear him. "Look, let's just find the Gobblewonker, and then we can ditch him once we get back to the mainland. And then, I don't know, put him on a watchlist or something. Okay?"
Before either of them could answer, a loud, distant roar echoed across the island, freezing the entire group in their tracks. It was gone a second later, but no one moved a muscle.
"It came from that direction, I believe!" McGucket hollered, breaking up the tense energy. "Have no fear, my friends, we'll catch this monster yet!"
He sprinted off to the left, which was surprising for a man his age, and the others had to run to keep up with him. By the time they reached the shore, everyone but McGucket was panting for breath.
The roar erupted once more, and this time they could hear it from a few feet away. A shape rose from the mist in the distance...a large curve sticking out of the water, with a long craning neck, and another terrifying growl ripped out of it...
Then the mist cleared and it was just a poorly shaped shipwreck with beavers surrounding it.
"What?" Gideon gasped, at a loss for words. "But...w-what about that noise we heard? Or the shape in the water earlier?"
Pacifica suddenly let out a squeal, eagerly snapping pictures with her camera. "Look! A beaver with a chainsaw! Isn't it adorable?"
"I'm going to be honest, I did not expect that," Melody commented.
"So...this was just a huge waste of time?" The white-haired teenager turned to face his cousin and Melody, sagging with disappointment. "We came all this way, got sunscreen, fought off mosquitoes, spent ten bucks on this bag of disposable cameras, and the only thing we saw were some mildly mischievous beavers! My first monster hunt was a bust!" He paused when he saw Melody and Pacifica's faces. "What's wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I wouldn't be so sure our hunt was a bust, m'boy! Come look!"
His stomach plummeted. Already knowing what he was about to see, he slowly turned around, and was faced with the largest creature he'd ever seen hovering above them. It was turquoise and covered in scales, and had the same figure as the shipwreck-a long arching neck, a huge, round body, and dark green fins. This one though, was living and breathing, with huge fangs and pulsing yellow eyes.
Gideon screamed.
He didn't know where he was running, just that he didn't like the idea of those fangs biting into him. He didn't even know where everyone else was until Pacifica ran up next to him, yelling, "If it makes you feel better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers!"
"Why would that make me feel better?!"
Melody grabbed him by his vest, apparently being the only one with a sense of direction, and basically chucked him and Pacifica into the boat. Somehow, McGucket was already there, grinning maniacally.
"Hahaha!" he cackled, as Melody started up the engine and began speeding away from the creature. "This is the largest anomaly I've ever seen! Absolutely incredible! We simply must collect some samples!"
"We might have time for that when we're not dead!" Melody hollered.
Gideon was growing less and less sure of their survival by the second, as the Gobblewonker was surprisingly very fast. The boat only stayed just ahead of it, and Melody still had to dodge fishing boats, filled with grandparents and proposing couples (Really? Here, of all places?). Things went from bad to worse when the monster began bumping its head against the bottom of the boat.
"Uh, McGucket?!" Pacifica screamed as she hung onto the railing for dear life, the boat rocking violently up and down. "Do you still have that static doo-hickey or whatever?!"
"Huh?" The doctor paused from rapidly taking pictures with the disposable cameras. Then he brightened. "Oh, yes! What a wonderful idea!" He grabbed the terrifying taser out of his coat and rushed towards the back of the boat, the taser crackling menacingly. When the Gobblewonker bumped its head again, McGucket lunged at it, stabbing it in the neck. It instantly recoiled and hissed, its whole body shuddering with electricity, before its neck flopped down. It laid there in the water, limp and unmoving.
"A-ha!" McGucket whooped. "We 'ave felled this mighty beast!"
Nobody joined in with his cheers, too exhausted to speak. Or maybe too frightened.
The doctor went up and tapped Melody on the shoulder. "Ma'am, if you would be so kind as to start up the motor? I'd like 'ave a look-see at the creature on land."
Melody complied, probably because she didn't want what the Gobblewonker had, and eventually the waves pushed the paralyzed monster up against the shore of the lake. Luckily, nobody was around to see it.
As Gideon stepped off the boat, the adrenaline wore off a bit. Up close like this, when he wasn't worried about being eaten alive, it was by far the coolest thing he'd ever seen. He'd dreamed of discovering a cryptid that no one had ever found before, and here it was, in all its glory.
McGucket must have noticed his jaw was on the floor, because he sidled up beside him. "Marvelous, ain't it?"
"Yeah," he breathed.
"I wouldn't mind a spot of help, actually..." McGucket dug around his coat of gadgets, before pulling out a weird metal square.
Gideon gasped with excitement, his previous hesitation around the doctor gone. "I'd love to! Whatever you need, I could totally-"
The sound of whirring metal cut him off, as with a click of a button, the strange metallic square extended into a large circular saw, spinning rapidly. "The neck would be the optimal place to start, end it quickly. Then we can get to work harvestin' the organs in jars and preservin' the skeleton. Ooh, and its hide there. Those are some nice scales."
"Um."
McGucket turned back to the rest of the group, his eyes glinting. "Y'all are welcome to help too, ya know! I'm mighty curious to know what kinda properties the creature's blood possesses-"
The scientist suddenly crumpled to the floor, motionless. Melody stood behind him, holding the metal taser he had wielded.
"Melody!" Gideon squeaked.
She chucked the taser into the lake as far as she could, scowling. "I know that thing tried to eat us and all, but it's still super creepy to talk about its organs like that. Now come on, we should probably go find Mr. Pines."
Pacifica jolted. "I totally forgot about Uncle Bud!"
"Me too..."A worm of guilt coiled in Gideon's stomach. "I don't even know where he is."
His cousin suddenly brightened. "Oh! I think that's him over there, looking sad and alone!"
Gideon turned to see a hunched figure sitting in a rickety boat, all by themselves in an empty lake. He sighed. "Melody, could we use the S.S. Space Jam one more time, please?"
...
Bud had just spent a productive afternoon terrorizing the local populace, having existential conversations with his reflection, and getting arrested by the lake police (was that even a thing?). All in all, things were going pretty good. Sure, he had an ankle bracelet now, but what were you going to do?
Then he almost got capsized by Melody's stupid boat and had to face the people who made him this way. "Oh? Crawling back, are we? I knew you would...eventually."
His son took a deep inhale, before offering a shaky smile. "Look, Dad, sorry for...ditching you back there. Monster hunting wasn't actually that fun, after all."
"Totally! We almost got eaten by a sea monster, and that kooky scientist dude that we thought was just sort of quirky turned out to be dangerous with a history of violence-"
"Anyway-" Gideon glared at the blonde one. "-we decided that fishing with you would be a lot more fun than all that. You know. If you'll let us."
Bud tried to suck down the warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart and the urge to pump his fist and yell, In your face, Preston! Instead, he crossed his arms and said, "Well, it couldn't hurt to have an audience. And I bet Preston never showed you how to fish with your eyes closed."
His brother's kid gasped. "I want to do that!"
Gideon laughed. "I'll bet five dollars you can't."
"Ha! I'll show you! You know, back in the day, I used to impress all the ladies with this trick, just you watch..."
...
Mabel's knuckles drummed against the table repeatedly, with every tick of the clock taking away another inch of her sanity. Dipper's constant social media notifications certainly weren't helping.
"Ugh!" she bemoaned, unable to take it any longer. "Where is he? He said he would be here an hour ago!"
Her brother just shrugged, absorbed in his phone.
She snatched it out of his hands and threw it at the wall as hard as she could, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.
"Hey! I have 400k followers-"
Ding dong.
The twins abruptly stopped in their tracks, exchanged glances, then simultaneously rushed towards the front door. They swung it open to reveal an old man who looked just like the one from Great Uncle Ford's photos.
"'Pologies for my lateness, I 'ad bit of a delay back at the lake, but I rushed up here as fast as I darn could. What can I do for you two young'uns?"
There was a beat, before Dipper smirked. "We have a job for you, Professor McGucket. What do you know about interdimensional rifts?"
