Fynn heard Harv furiously packing in the barn. There was no way to ring for a carriage at this hour, but it was clear he'd had enough. He hadn't asked why Harv stopped visiting home as much.
"I can still turn this around." Fynn said. There was a chance someone else would come check on them. He couldn't drop his falsetto just yet, in case someone overheard.
"You…" Harv stopped packing, his shoulders sank. "He would have done this no matter what I did. It's not your fault."
"I take it we're leaving first thing in the morning then." Fynn kept an eye on the farmhouse, leaned up against the doorframe of the barn.
"He'd never cared for any of the decisions I made, it's just now he's too old to hide it." Harv said. "We came here to make mom feel better, not bring more stress into the house. I mean, why would you want to go back in there?"
"...I've never had a big family." Fynn said. "Mother's kin wanted little to do with her and nothing to do with me… They care a lot about us being happy and I, I've kinda missed that. You're the closest thing I have to a family now." He was supposed to be doing this for Harv, not getting wrapped up in his own emotions.. "You're dad's being an ass though, you've every right to be angry." Harv had climbed down the ladder to where Finn was.
"What happened to your hand?" Harv asked, when he touched something wet.
"You missed it, I got him right in the head with a fistful of potatoes." Fynn tried to laugh at how absurd it was. "Is there a place I can wash up, I'd like to avoid going to bed with dinner on my hands."
Clover angrily scrubbed out the inside of the cooking pots. Her other sons had wisely chosen to get some fresh air with their partners after the fiasco at dinner. After cleaning himself off, Roland went to her to try and explain himself.
"You need to be nicer to that girl." Clover threw the scrub brush and submerged the pot in the wash bin.
"The one who threw the dinner at me? The one you cooked while she farted around by the fire?" Roland shook his head. "You have to admit something fishy's going on here. Harv's lying through his teeth anytime we ask a basic question. They're hiding something, I just know it."
"Fynn can't have children." Clover stopped cleaning and leaned at the sink for support. "Her body won't allow her, she confided in Anina this morning. It's why her parents never gave her bridal training; they gave up on her."
"Clo, come on now, think about this." Roland sat down in one of the dining chairs, his wife still refusing to look him in the eye.
"I have. You've seen how thin she is, she should be a head taller judging by the size of her hands. Most days she's too weak to leave the house, but you acted like I was dying and they rushed over." She needed to sit down, but he was still over there and she was still furious. "Our son is kind enough to care for someone, regardless of circumstance, and you acted like that was the worst thing he could have done." She finally looked at him. "I would have done the same thing in her position. Now, let me have that chair." Roland got up, he couldn't say he fully agreed with her interpretation of what was going on, but he could hardly argue with it either.
"There's such a thing as too kind." Roland said. Clover turned away from him. "For years that little demon took advantage of him. We should consider ourselves lucky it moved on, but… if that happens again…" Roland took a seat next to Clover, still giving her space to ignore him. "I might not be there to hide the swords."
There was a period of time, right before Harv left for the front, where the boy had romanticized martyrdom to a degree that had scared Roland. He could never get a clear answer why. Just that, for whatever reason, Harv thought he'd be alone for the rest of his life. It was bad enough to see his son treat himself like an undesirable person without a narcissistic parasite whispering in his ear for three years.
"These past few days, Harv's almost been himself again." Clover sighed. "If that's because of her, she could be a three-headed dragon, I wouldn't care."
"...I'll apologize to her."
"Good."
"There is one other thing that has me worried though." Roland could see his wife's furrowed brow raise. "Rhodri can't tell me who she is."
"What do you mean?" Clover said.
"Rhodri and Big work with palace folk all the time, especially the nobles. I asked them what her family name was, and they say she must not got one." He picked at the dirt under his nails with his pocket type. "They've also never heard of the Ashenburrow family." He folded up his knife and put it on the table. "So 'Maid Ashenburrow' can't have been working there for three years." He eyed the cup of tea Clover was drinking. "You wouldn't care about a three-headed dragon, but what about a witch?"
Harv hissed as the cold air hit his skin and seeped into his bones. They'd come here to make his mom happy and make sure she was okay, but like always it had devolved into his father questioning the decisions Harv had made. Fretful over nothing, prying into things Harv wanted to leave alone, there was only so much he could take at a time. Unfortunately, he'd already met that limit. He used to have more tolerance for this sort of thing.
His nightclothes did little to warm him, and the sagging pile of hay wouldn't provide much warmth either. Too angry to just fall asleep. He couldn't wait until they could go back home. Where he could resume watching over Finn as a job and not have to overthink every wayward glance, because the boundaries were written on paper.
Fynn slide back into the barn with a sigh. He'd been anticipating some grand attempt at an olive branch, but it really seemed like they would be left alone for the rest of the night. Careless compared to the night before, he shed bits of his disguise, the magic fading like he was stepping out of a trance. As soon as he got up to the loft, he reached into private areas and pulled off sail tape with a sickening rip. The corset and inserts were quick to follow.
"Sorry the mystique is gone." Finn pulled the dress over his head. "But ten hours is my limit." Angry red marks from trying to force his body into a feminine shape decorated his back.
"Let me see." Harv sat next to Finn on the makeshift bed.
"What are you on about?" Finn had washed his eyes back to their natural color when Harv tentatively touched Finn's skin. "Those will fade." Finn liked the attention, but he didn't want Harv to think he was wounded or anything. The gentle touch was helping blood flow back to the muscles that had been pressured all day. "I just want my time back, I spent hours this week crafting a backstory, no one's asked me about a thing. They're too worried you'll starve to death in my care."
"I would." Harv said. Finn wrinkled his nose and turned away. "What kind of things did you think they'd ask?"
"How you proposed, what was our first date, that sort of thing." He let his head hang limp, Harv's touch growing more confident.
"Oh?" Harv asked. "And how, exactly, did you think I'd propose to you?"
"A song." Finn said. "Your voice isn't bad. You'd try to get Shad to help you write it, and then be too embarrassed to finish two bars without rethinking your life choices."
"Sounds dramatic." Harv said.
"It's supposed to be!" Finn shot back. "People don't want realism, they want spectacle." Finn leaned one shoulder up. "A little to the left." He groaned. "What was I saying? Right, spectacle, if I'm going to tell them a story, I might as well make it a good one. I spent three years studying exactly that."
"You've thought about this a lot." Harv said quietly. "The wedding too, you didn't even bat an eye… Is that something you want?"
"What, to get married?" Finn laughed. "Who doesn't want a party where people feel obligated to come and be nice to you even if they hate you? They can be so extravagant too." He said with a dreamy sigh. "But what would I get married for? I have you." Harv's hands slowed down.
"I'm not a wife." He said, the words felt like acid in his throat.
"I know." Finn rolled his eyes. "But why would I want one? It'd just be all 'why do you always hang out with Harv?' and 'what's he have that I don't?'' and I'd rather just spare us both the trouble." Harv's hands stilled, resting firmly on Finn's shoulders.
"...Your payment, for doing this, do you know what you want yet?" He asked. Finn hummed a frustrated sort of hum.
"You have to be careful with magical contracts." Finn said. "If you don't word them right, things can get all…" His hand turned and gestured in the air. "Bad. I don't want to give you a blemish just because I had a poor choice in words." He arched into a long stroke against his back. "There's plenty of time, don't worry."
"But it's painful." Harv said. He tilted Finn's face toward him and rubbed one of his cheeks. "And your freckles aren't coming off."
"It's henna." Finn took Harv's hand by the wrist and pulled it away. "It'll fade eventually, I just didn't want to accidentally lose one if it rained." Harv made a displeased noise, wishing he could see Finn without any disguise. "Besides, I thought you liked freckles."
"When did I say that?"
"Oh gosh, years ago." The little roll of his eye and his hand creeping across the covers to find Harv's leg. It was all dangerous territory.
"I can't even get you to take out your own trash," Harv said, "it has to be something big if you're going to this much trouble."
"I just," Finn carefully dodged around the trigger phrase, "think that us being apart for long shouldn't happen again." Finn had taken his hands back to play with his nails. "It was miserable without you, wondering if you'd make it back home or… hated me. I count it in the top five worst things that happened in my life thus far. I'd like to avoid it happening again."
"We see each other every day." Harv said. Finn sighed and looked away. "We work together. Isn't that enough?"
"No." Finn leaned toward him, still looking anywhere but his face. "And as soon as I figure out how to word it, I can stop worrying you're going to leave again."
"You're… just lonely." Harv said. He cupped Finn's face with his hands, trying to get the bard to look at him again. "I'm doing everything I can." It still wasn't enough. Every night, Harv would go to his own sleeping quarters. He never got to see him during off hours. It was always just business between them nowadays. It killed him to think that when he had the choice, he was looking for someone else to spend his life with.
"Don't take a wife." Finn's eyes lit up. "That's what my payment can be."
"I wasn't gonna." Harv said. "I can't."
"Shit." Finn had just wasted a contract, but at least Harv was pulling him closer. "Wait, why not?" Harv kissed him.
A thousand thoughts ran through Finn's head. This certainly filled in the aching gaps he'd been feeling. Better to be enamored than clingy. Being intimate with Harv hadn't crossed his mind as an option.. The rest of the noise in his head cut out when Harv tried to pull away. The moment that man thought for half a second, he'd be backpedaling like a madman.
Finn wrapped a hand around the back of Hav's neck and kissed him again. He grabbed Harv's shoulder and pulled him down towards the sheets. The cold air felt nice against his skin now, instead of hostile.
"Wait." Harv pulled himself up for air. Finn pulled roughly on the cord of Harv's nightshirt, unraveling the neckline so it hung open. "I said wait."
"I've been waiting for fourteen years for you to take an interest in me." Finn said, his chest heaving. "Any kind of interest. What could you possibly need me to wait for?"
"I… love you." Harv said.
"Oh, yes, more of that please." Finn tried to worm his hands up toward Harv's neck again, but Harv rebuked the touches.
"And that's okay?" Harv asked.
"Okay?" Finn got up on his elbows. "Okay!? Your adoration and attention is something I crave daily. You have me between your legs. What part of this makes you think I'm not fully on board with us?" Finn let out an exasperated sigh. Harv was still hovering over him, just staring at him. "I love you too." Finn said, a little short, and Harv narrowed his eyes. "You'd be more convinced if you were down here and not up there." Finn successfully looped his arms around Harv's neck. "This may be the only chance we have to be alone for a while, are you going to waste it getting in your head about this."
That seemed to kick Harv back in the mood. Nothing like a little urgency to remind him that as soon as they were back in the city, it'd be difficult to avoid servants. The goats Finn startled by being loud, wouldn't tell a soul.
