Hey readers - Here we are with the next new interval chapter : )
So after I finished writing the last interval chapter and I started coming up with ideas for this one, the one I ran with wasn't initially on that list. In fact, this idea only came to me when I was about half-way through writing Mind Games, and I really hope you'll all be happy with it because I'm quite proud of this one. After all, in lots of different reviews people have been asking for more Kate and Gibbs scenes, so hopefully you'll like what this chapter entails ; )
Aside from that however, I would like to say an ENORMOUS thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favourited and followed this story. The support you guys have shown to it continuously blows me away, and I really appreciate it, so please keep it up : )
Please remember that NCIS does not belong to me : )
I hope you enjoy this chapter : )
Traffic Jam Talks
"Is this entirely necessary?"
The question had slipped past Kate's lips before the young woman was even aware that she was thinking it.
"Yes!"
The abrasive, no-nonsense and above all else, blunt response that she received from her boss didn't really take Kate by surprise. Rather than arguing with him however, something she honestly just didn't have the mental energy for after the day that she had barely just survived, the young woman simply allowed another soft sigh of sheer exasperation to escape her, and she leaned back in the chair she was currently sitting in.
After the NCIS MCRT team had taken gleeful delight in revealing to Kyle Boone the Kate was still very much alive and well, and that it was his little replacement copycat killer that was the one who was dead, it hadn't taken long for things to begin winding down. The sociopathic monster had been taken back to his prison cell to spend his last few short hours on this Earth before his sentence would be carried out as planned, kicking and screaming all the way. That spark of fear which had been in that... animal's eyes when he realised that he'd lost satisfied Kate immensely. It almost made what she'd gone through today worth it in a way.
Almost.
The clear up hadn't taken long either. Ducky and Jimmy had already begun the autopsy on Adam O'Neill's body, but that was merely a formality at this point. Kate had already submitted a clear and to-the-point statement about what had happened and how she had killed the man who had abducted and tried to murder her. She honestly wished that the universe would stop trying to have her killed. All these attempts on her life lately were really beginning to grate on her very last nerve.
But that wasn't the only thing getting on her nerves at the moment however.
Gibbs, in a rare display of outward concern for one of his agents, had insisted on taking her to the local hospital to get her injuries checked over. Kate had tried arguing that she just had a few cuts and bruises, a sprained wrist at worst, and that Ducky's earlier examination had confirmed that, despite the man's misgivings about her head injury. But it was like trying to talk to a brick wall. The silver haired man simply wasn't having it, insisting that she needed to be looked over again by another doctor, and since Ducky was now busy with the autopsy he was currently performing, that only left the local hospital. After a rather heated conversation on the subject, Kate had eventually just thrown up her arms in exhausted frustration, but ultimately she relented to his wishes.
And that was how they came to be in their current situation.
Sitting in Gibbs' car under the inky blackness of night, watching as the world continued ticking by, soon to be a better place with the slaying of one particular monster, which in Kate's rather vindictive but justifiable opinion, was long overdue. They were currently waiting out a traffic jam as they made their way to the hospital to get Kate looked over. She had tried telling the silver haired federal agent that she had come to think of not only as her boss, but also as a friend that she could manage the trip there herself, but again it quickly became apparent that she was wasting her breath.
Gibbs was taking her. End of story.
Now the two of them were sitting in companionable silence as they waited for a gap in the traffic to open. As they did so, Kate tried to move her sore arm into a more comfortable position, but even the smallest movement was enough to send a ripple of pain through the tender area. Before she could stop herself, a small gasp had slipped her lips, and she squeezed her eyes tightly closed as she grimaced. Almost immediately, Gibbs' concerned gaze was upon her.
"Hey" he whispered quietly from the driver's seat, "You okay?"
Not for the first time in recent weeks, Kate found herself slightly taken aback by just how worried he seemed to be about her general well-being. She knew why of course, and she would admit that at first, it had felt nice. It was nice to have it confirmed so plainly that Gibbs did actually care about the people that made up his team, and that they weren't just dispensable employees to him, which sometimes his negative snarky attitude gave the impression of. Now though, his attention was beginning to feel a little suffocating. Honestly, she'd feel less smothered than she had when she was a teenage girl discovering boys for the first time. As such, she gave him a little stern look.
"I'm fine Gibbs" she told him plainly, clearly beyond the point of exasperation by this point, "Just like I was back at the Boone Family farm, just like I was back at the office. This whole thing is being blown way out of proportion!"
The look on Gibbs' face was absolutely priceless.
"Out of proportion?" he repeated incredulously, his grip instinctively tightening on the steering wheel in shock, "Kate, you were abducted by a lunatic that tried to kill you! Pardon me for thinking that that kinda warrants getting you checked over by a doctor! And since I'm your boss..."
Kate couldn't help but scoff at those last few words.
"I wondered how long it would be until you decided to play that card" the young woman huffed, making no effort to refrain from rolling her eyes, "You know what Gibbs, you're getting worse than my mother was when I told her I was becoming a federal agent, and she practically tried to put me under house arrest!"
It was Gibbs that huffed out loud in irritation this time around.
"Would you rather I didn't care?" he asked her bluntly, his dark annoyed and... dare Kate think it... hurt? "Does wanting to make sure that someone I consider a friend is okay make me that awful?"
A gap opened in the traffic, and the silver haired federal agent silently manoeuvred his car into it.
Realising that perhaps she had been a bit unnecessarily harsh in all of her protests, Kate let out another forlorn sigh, and wearily shook her head.
"No... it doesn't" she admitted in a tone of voice that was now much softer, "And of course I'm glad that you care. After everything we've all been through together, I'd be incredibly hurt if you didn't".
Hearing that admittance, Gibbs cautiously glanced over at her.
"I have a feeling that there's a 'but' coming" the silver haired man theorised aloud. His guess was quickly proven correct.
"But..." Kate dragged the word out for empathize, and Gibbs couldn't help but smirk in mild amusement, "Don't you think it's starting to get a little out of hand? I mean... a couple of months ago the very idea of you driving me to the hospital for a couple of scratches and bruises would have had us all laughing, and you know it Gibbs".
The silver haired federal agent could begrudgingly admit that the woman sitting next to him had a valid point there.
"No..." he conceded, but when Kate looked annoying validated he quickly added, "But I'd have made sure that DiNozzo took you, just to be sure. I've never been flippant when it comes to my people being injured, even if the injuries are only minor, and I've always cared Kate".
Kate sighed again. She couldn't deny that that was true, even if it hadn't always felt that way.
"I know that Gibbs" she stated, "But my point still stands. You, and even Tony and McGee to a certain degree, have all been fussing over me more and more lately... ever since Ari..."
The man's icy blue eyes immediately darkened, as they always did when that name came up.
"You can hardly blame us for that though" the seasoned federal agent felt the need to explain himself to the young woman at his side, "We all came exceptionally close to losing you Kate. It's by sheer chance that you're still alive, and then with this happening so soon afterwards... you can't expect that to not have an effect on the team as a whole, even me. We're a team Kate. Anything that happens to one of us affects all of the others".
Kate understood that too.
Almost as if against her will, the young woman found her mind drifting back to a period a couple of weeks before the whole incident with Ari had gone down. To an isolated medical containment facility, where eerie blues lights shone down upon a scene which still haunted Kate's worst nightmares to this very day. The day that Tony had almost been lost to the plague. Lost to Kate forever.
The female federal agent couldn't help but frown as that memory chose now of all times to drift to the surface. It wasn't a subject that Kate liked to dwell on after all. Despite herself however, Kate couldn't help but remember the scope of the sheer devastation that had hit her all at once when the realisation that Tony was not long for this world fell into place. She could vividly remember collapsing into Ducky's arms, sobbing uncontrollably as her partner lay dying, with the old man kindly remarking on how brave she was to stay with him, despite the unimaginable risks to her own health. But it had never been about bravery, not as far as Kate had been concerned at the time. It was about making sure that her friend didn't die own his own.
She hadn't felt brave, but helpless.
And that, she realised with a startled jolt, must have been exactly how Gibbs and the rest of the team had all felt earlier today, after she'd been taken by O'Neill. The realisation immediately sapped Kate of any further will to argue, and instead she just slumped back in her chair, her shoulders slumping dejectedly. From out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gibbs smile.
He knew that he'd won.
Still, Kate could still see one tiny flaw in the trap she now realised that he had talked her into, and that one last vestige of stubbornness inside her made her speak before she could stop herself.
"I can't help but notice that you won't tolerate any fussing when you're the one who's hurt or in danger though" she remarked in an almost mockingly casual manner.
This time it was Gibbs' lips that the heavy side escaped from.
"That's... that's different" the silver haired federal agent protested, but it sounded weak, even to his own ears.
"How is there any difference?" Kate wanted to know, and to her credit, she didn't sound angry or demanding but instead genuinely curious as to the man's line of thinking, "Like you to said, we're all a team Gibbs. If you're allowed to worry about me when I get hurt, why shouldn't the rest of us not be allowed to do the same for you?"
Another exhausted sigh passed by Gibbs' lips, and for a moment, he looked and sounded so much older than he actually was. A man who had seen too much, Kate idly thought to herself.
For a moment, she was half-convinced that Gibbs wasn't going to answer her question, preferring instead to just fall back into a companionable silence. To her utter amazement however, the silver haired man actually opened up on the subject as opposed to just evading it. Kate had the consciously stop her jaw from dropping wide open in shock. Clearly her boss, and the man she was proud to call a friend, had been deeply rattled by these most troubling recent events.
"The reason it's different Kate is because I'm the one who's the team leader" he explained in a voice which was barely above a whisper, and Kate couldn't help but be shocked by how... well, vulnerable he sounded in that moment, "It's me that's in charge. I'm the one that makes the tough decisions and calls".
Kate wasn't complete the sure what he was driving at.
"And that makes it different?" the young woman was surprised to hear that she was whispering too now, her tone hushed and gentle.
Gibbs let out a small, humourless chuckle.
"It makes all the difference in the world, Kate" he told her in a voice that was so straight-laced and serious that she couldn't help but believe him, "If I was the one lying in a hospital ward on my death bed, yeah; you and Tony and definitely Abby would all be concerned about me, sure. But you wouldn't have any guilt to carry inside you alongside it".
The use of that world hit Kate like a ten tonne truck.
"Guilt?!" the dark haired young woman exclaimed in incredulous horror, before a stern look descended across her beautiful features, "Oh for crying out loud Gibbs! I thought we'd settled all this! You are not reasonable for what Ari almost did! I don't blame you for anything that's happened to me lately!
"Well you should!"
The words were barked at her fiercely that Kate couldn't help but be stunned into silence.
Another gap in the traffic opened up and Gibbs gently manoeuvred the car into it. The silver haired man then took a deep breath to calm himself, his shoulders slumping miserably. Unable to just leave that statement hanging there though, he soon began speaking again. When he did, Kate was grateful that it was in a much softer tone of voice.
"You should, Kate" he whispered to her, his face crumbling with abject misery, "What happened with Ari, hell, what happened today was completely my fault. You were lucky to escape both of those encounters with your life. If you had lost it... that would have been on me".
"Not true!" Kate tried to tell him, but Gibbs was both stubborn and persistent. The silver haired man shook his head furiously at her denial.
"Think about it!" he urged the woman sitting next to him, practically begging her by this point to really try and understand the point that he was trying to make, "When I screw up and make the wrong decision, and wind up being the one who gets hurt, I don't have anybody to blame but myself. But when I screw up and make the wrong decision, and one of you get hurts... it hurts Kate. It hurts to know that one of you could turn around and resent me for it. But that's the curse of being a team leader. And that's it's not always an easy burden to carry".
Kate could scarcely believe her ears.
Just a few short weeks ago, the very idea of the man sitting beside her opening up and revealing vulnerabilities about himself like this would have had Kate on the floor laughing until she was in stitches. She wouldn't have believed it possible, not in a million years, despite how much she would have loved for him to be able to do so. Gibbs could be far too enigmatic for his own good sometimes after all. Still, seeing the man on the verge of breaking like this now wasn't easy for her to bare. And Kate could hardly believe that she was thinking this, but she kind of just wanted the old gruff Gibbs back now. The one that infuriated her by always holding out, and making it seem as if he didn't give a damn about any of them with his harshness.
It really drove home that saying 'Be careful what you wish for'.
Alas however, they were where they were, and nothing could be done to change that now. And no, Kate couldn't undo any of the traumas which had affected the team over the past couple of months, but what she could do was offer the man she had come to rely on so much a friendly shoulder to cry on, and some sympathetic words of kindness.
"Okay... I kinda get the point that you're trying to make, but I think you're being way too hard on yourself here, Gibbs" she told him bluntly, and it was only when he looked her in the eye did Kate continue, "Me and Tony and McGee... Every day when we walk into NCIS, we know that there's a very real possibility that we might not walk out of it at the end of the day. That we might not ever walk out of it again in fact, but we still take that risk every single day, and do you want to know why that is?"
Gibbs merely shrugged his shoulders at her, remaining totally silent.
"Because you instilled a belief in us all" the female federal agent continued passionately, and when Gibbs looked slightly confused by what she was saying, she quickly elaborated, "It's hardly a secret that you're very selective about the people who get to join your team Gibbs. Hell, even from that very first time we met I'd already figured that out about you. So when you asked me if I wanted to join your team at NCIS... it made me feel special, in a way like nothing ever has before. It was like there was something you saw in me which set me apart from other people, and then every day since you've inspired me in ways that other people never have managed to. I never wanted to work crime scenes for the Navy growing up, and yet now I can't imagine anything more fulfilling and worthwhile. I can't speak for Tony and McGee of course, but I imagine it's the same for them as well. You gave us something to believe in Gibbs, by believing in us. And that's why we follow you, even if we don't always know what tricks you have up your sleeves. That's why we all trust you".
By the end of her little impassioned speech, Gibbs' jaw was practically hanging by his knees in clear disbelief.
"I... thank you for saying that Kate... it means a lot" the silver haired man said in genuine appreciation, but he still couldn't let go of his beliefs regarding this topic, "But you just don't get it. And I don't mean that in a condescending way..."
Kate couldn't help but snort in amusement at that declaration, because let's face it, that would be a first.
"I don't!" Gibbs insisted, but there was no denying that his lips also twitched in amusement at the insinuation, "But the fact is, until you've led a team of your own, it just isn't something you can understand fully".
Kate shook her head, but decided to try another approach.
"Okay... should I be blaming Abby for what happened today?" she asked him.
It took Gibbs a few moments to be able to process the question, but when he did, his eyes bulged in his head and his jaw dropped wide open in shock. Where on Earth had that notion come from?!
"What?!" he exclaimed incredulously, his eyes wide, "No! Of course not! How could it possibly be..."
Kate was already shrugging her shoulders at him before Gibbs even had a chance to finish the question.
"Well..." the female federal agent drawled the word out slowly, "If she hadn't limited the search parameters on running those photographs of the missing women until Boone had been put in prison, then we'd have known there was another killer long before I was taken by him".
Gibbs could scarcely believe what he was hearing. This was Kate's own best friend that she was talking about! How could she possibly think such things about the sweet kind scientist that Gibbs loved like a daughter?!
"That's ridiculous Kate!" the silver haired federal agent barked in Abby's defence, "She only did what was logical. There's no way she could have possibly known about the women who had gone missing after I arrested Boone!"
Kate just shrugged at him again, and Gibbs was starting to feel a little angry now.
"Oh... okay" she puffed out mockingly, almost as if she was deliberately trying to goad him, "Hey! Now that I think about it, perhaps it was just my own fault!"
This time Gibbs didn't even try to stop his mouth falling open from sheer disbelief.
"What?!" he cried incredulously, and much to his indignation, Kate just casually shrugged up at him once again.
"Think about it" she threw his own words back at him, a move which Gibbs did not appreciate. Not. One. Bit, "As we've previously established on numerous occasions, I'm a highly trained federal agent. Should I or should I not by very definition of that job role have been able to protect myself from being smacked over the back of the head and tied up in the trunk of a car?"
Words seemed to fail Gibbs for several long moments.
"No!" he exclaimed, now sounding utterly horrified by the idea that Kate could be blaming herself for this, when in his mind, she should be blaming him, "He... I... You..."
For once, he honestly had no idea what to say.
Kate smiled.
"You see?" she said in a much gentler manner now, and Gibbs just stared at her in bewilderment, "Either of those suggestions is utterly ridiculous. Well so is the notion that this is on you Gibbs. It isn't. There were all sorts of factors which were out of your control, and you need to accept that. What happened today, what happened with Ari... they weren't your fault".
And for the first time in living memory, Leroy Jethro Gibbs just couldn't argue back with someone.
The silver haired federal agent swallowed hard. It was a while before he able to speak again.
"Okay... you're right. Deep down I know you're right" the seasoned federal agent begrudgingly admitted, and Kate practically glowed upon hearing him say that, "It just feels like... like it's my past rearing it's ugly head, and haunting the entire team. First with Ari, then with Boone... and none of you should have to pay the price for that. None of you".
Kate offered him another kind and reassuring smile.
"And none of us has" she reminded him gently, "That's the part you've got to hold on to Gibbs. We got through Ari, and we'll get through this, the same way we do everything. As a team".
And finally, at long last, the man was convinced.
Gibbs nodded at her, a small smile growing across his face. Kate returned the gesture, before they both fell back into a comfortable silence, one which was no longer filled with tension or unspoken words. Another gap opened in the traffic in front of them, and they continued onwards.
And if by the time that they arrived at the hospital, and Kate felt as though she now knew her boss better than she'd ever done before, well... perhaps some good had come out of all this after all. Either way, only one thing was for sure in that moment.
That traffic jam had certainly provided them both with the most illuminating talk imaginable.
And there we have it : )
Aww... I love that in my version of events, Gibbs is comfortable enough around Kate to show a little more vulnerability to her than any of his other teammates and friends : ) Sometimes I wonder if I'm writing him a bit too OOC, but hopefully I'm striking the right balance. Let me know what you guys think on that front ; )
And I think that's just about it from me for this week, so thank you for reading this chapter and my story in general, and I really hope you're enjoying it. Please also consider leaving a review as I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback on how I'm doing so far, and like I said before, please also keep those suggestions coming in as well : )
Until the next time, keep on reading : )
