Angstmas: Love confession

Prompt: Wait you love me? I always have.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara/Peter B. Parker

Plot: People always say Miguel was incapable of love. But that is not true. He loved. many times before and it destroyed him. Again and again and again. This time it may be permanent.


Miguel O'Hara was a stranger to love in so many ways. He knows for a fact that he loves his little brother Gabriel from the moment he enters the world. So sweet and innocent. His heart is full and soul bright.

Miguel loved his father until he was ten when he started being a boy instead of a girl. George tried to beat him down and Gabriel got hurt trying to stop him. A piece of himself breaking.

He loved his mother until he was twelve when he realized she would never leave George. No matter how many bruises were left behind. That is when Miguel first fought back himself. Another piece of himself is gone.

He loved his job. He adored his work as a geneticist at Achelmax until he killed someone. He tried to do the right thing and quit. What does he get in return? A forced addiction, attempted murder, and a transformation that changes his life forever.

Miguel almost died that night. He jumped off the Alchemax tower but survived by grabbing the side of a building. He couldn't die knowing that Tyler Stone would do this to someone else. His heart cracked in his chest but still beating, soul burning for justice and revenge.

Multiple times over the years Miguel tried to love. Dana, Xina, Gabriel, Tempest, and so many more. When Tyler and Kron died, he felt as if a massive weight lifted from his heart and his soul.

Then he got involved in the multiverse. His heart was repairing and his soul began healing. Meeting so many Spiderman and SPiderwomen. All amazing and kind. The Spider Society was soon born. Jessia Drew, An African American woman with a Motorbike becomes his right-hand woman. She and Lyla are the only people who can keep his attitude in line. He was content and proud.

Then Peter B. Parker fell into his life. Miguel's heart, despite its current state, ached for the man desperately. But Miguel knew better. He knew his love would get people hurt if not killed. So he kept quiet, smiled when he was nearby and focused on the multiverse.

He found Gabriella. He found out what happened to her father. He destroyed her universe in love.

Miguel didn't become better. Despite the part of him that screams for love, for justice, for peace, he locked it away. When he went out on missions, he rarely made a joke. Soon everyone left him but Lyla and Jessica.

And Peter B. Parker. Despite the amount of time Miguel would hiss and growl at him, Peter simply smiled and showed him a new baby photo. The older Spiderman was determined to stay by Miguel's side. The Latino held his tongue when it came to his emotions. He prayed it would get better one day.

It didn't. The Spot began wreaking havoc across the Multiverse. Miles Morales receives the blame and gets chased by hundreds upon thousands of people. The Society in it entirely lost a piece of themselves as they were proven wrong by an anomaly.

That was merely a month ago and Miguel's heart and soul are barely hanging by a thread. Surprisingly thanks to none other than the MIles. He saved that day and since then he formed a weird friendship. Miles would bully Miguel to take breaks and Miguel would train Miles and help him with his homework. The two visit Jessica and her baby when every new mother needs help.

Even then his soul nor could his heart give much more.

Miguel was heading out of the day when he was approached by Peter B. Parker. Miguel turned to him confused.

"We need to talk," Peter stated nervously. Miguel Walked over and waited for him to continue. Peter took a deep breath before speaking again. "Why don't you call me anymore?"

"What?" Miguel asked, taken aback. Peter however was determined.

"When Miles yelled at us a few days ago he said you almost died. When was this and why didn't you call me?"

"...which time?" Miguel whispered. Rage was slowly curling in his body making its way towards his chest. Peter stared at him confused. "Which time do you want to talk about? When I fought Electro with Jessica? Or when I was almost kidnapped by Quentin Beck and was feral? We called you then but Lyla found out that you blocked me and her from your watch. When I was bleeding out on the ground because of the Scorpion? We gave up on calling you and Miles was the one who answered."

Miguel was trying not to shake as Peter looked guilty in front of him. The lesser man would have run off at the ice in the taller man's throat but Peter stood firm.

"Ok, that 's fair. I deserved that. But I apologized. I tried to fix this but you locked me out of your office. We are your friends. I can't even get you alone without Miles interrupting or gatekeeping you like we are going to hurt you."

Miguel couldn't stop the broken laugh from leaving his mouth. Peter has no clue, does he? Well, he is about to find out. He barely gave mind to Peter's wide-eyed star as years of repression finally burst through at that moment.

"You did hurt me. Whether you meant to or not. Just like I hurt you." Miguel whispered as the rage, loathing, hatred, and I settled into his chest. "I accepted your apology but I couldn't be friends with you again. Not anymore. Peter, I just can't. I keep putting myself in situations where I destroy everything and everyone I care about. But I can't stop because I'm desperate," Miguel's body shook as tears finally rained from his face. "And do you know why?"

Peter shook his head no.

"Because I love them. Because I love you. So damn much that if you die, I wouldn't want to live. I loved it before but each time it ended horribly. But I couldn't stop myself. I tried."

Peter started silent before he spoke.

"You love me?" shock in his voice clear as day. Miguel looked at him, and he decided one last time, that he was going to hope.

"I always have." Miguel admited.

Peter stared at him before shaking his head. Such a simple gesture. Yet that was Miguel O'Hara's final breaking point. Whatever Peter B. Parker was going to say was unknown because Miguel threw open a portal and threw himself threw it, landing in the same forest that Miles saved him from. Locking his location away he cried.

He cried for Gabriel and his damaged childhood.

He cried for Xina and how he easily betrayed her trust.

He cried for Dana and the life they could have had.

He cried for Miles and the fear he felt as his fellow spiders chased him.

Miguel O'Hara cried as his heart shattered into nothing and his soul faded away. Leaving nothing more than the broken man.