It's a place where you'll be safe to feel our grace
'Cause we've all made mistakes
If you've lost your way
I will leave the light on
—
"I want to be helpful."
"I know. Thank you."
—
It was late when Tim Bradford gets home. He disarms his security system after unlocking his front door. He wished Genny didn't have Kojo for the night because he could use the company. Lucy tried to get him to stay at her place, but since Tim is on leave, he didn't want to impose on her and Tamara. Logically, he knew he shouldn't be alone right now, but he was so used to dealing with his feelings on his own, he didn't know if could be that vulnerable with anyone.
Tim sighs as he opens the refrigerator door, looking for something to eat. Despite the many options, Tim decided against eating. He didn't think he could stomach anything after the day's events. He went to his bedroom and changed into some sweatpants and a T-shirt. He then went into the living room and sat on the couch, once again wishing Kojo was here as a distraction. Tim knew he should go to bed and sleep the awful day awake, but he didn't think he'd fall asleep. He decided to turn on the TV to the sports channel, hoping it would take his mind off things.
A couple of hours have passed, and Tim wasn't any closer to sleep. His mind was filled with a bunch of "what ifs" and thoughts of he could have handled the situation differently. He knew he had to take the shot; Joel was going to shoot him if he didn't. Tim knew sleep wasn't going to happen tonight. He thought about drinking, but decided against it, in case he was called into the station for more questioning.
Tim gets off the couch and decides to lay in bed, hoping sleep would come. Once in bed, Tim turns to face the side where Lucy would sleep, wishing she was there with him. More time passes as Tim tosses and turns in bed. His house was too quiet, and he couldn't take it anymore. All Tim wanted was Lucy, the love of his life.
Fifteen minutes later, Tim was parking his truck in front of Lucy's apartment building. He didn't text her in case she was asleep, but knowing her, Tim had a feeling she was still awake. He looked up at the building and saw a light on in Lucy's apartment. In that moment, he knew he would be safe with her because she left a light on for him.
As he made his way upstairs to her apartment, Tim suddenly felt nervous. He knew she wouldn't mind him coming over, but part of him worried she'd turn him away. He never had someone to comfort him and help him through his feelings. Tim knew Lucy would be able to handle his feelings and emotions, but he had up so many walls up and, he was petrified it would scare her away. Tim decided against using his key to let himself in. Instead, using the last of his strength, Tim knocks on the door. He looked up as the door immediately flew open. He was safe.
Brown eyes filled with concern met his blue eyes. Tim steps inside the apartment and immediately found himself engulfed in a hug from the woman he loved. He felt the tension leave his body as strong, yet tender hands rub his back in a soothing motion. Tim looks down at Lucy as his eyes begin to fill with tears.
"I'm sorry to intrude," Tim whispers, "I should have come home with you instead of going to my place to try and deal with this alone. I can't do it alone."
Tim feels Lucy's arms tighten around him as she looks up and says, "You don't need to apologize to me. We've all made mistakes. It might feel like you've lost our way, you'll find it, with me. You're not use to having someone care for you the way I do. I'm not going anywhere."
With that, Lucy leads Tim to her sofa so they can sit down. She sits crisscross with her back to an arm rest. Tim lays down with his head in her lap and Lucy starts running her fingers through his hair.
"Am I like him? Am I becoming him? I killed someone like he did, but I'm not a drunk like he was. What if I start abusing alcohol? What if I…" Tim trails off, looking up at Lucy, tears forming in his eyes.
Lucy's heart breaks for the man in her lap. She knows the "him" he is referring to is his dad, the man who abused him and belittled him every chance he got. She looks down at him and places a kiss on his forehead before speaking.
"Timothy Bradford. You are NOTHING like him. You only took the shot because Joel was going to shoot you or someone else first. You saved yourself and so many other officers. You did the right thing, and I'm going to keep reminding you until you start to believe it."
Tim replies, "I can eventually make peace with taking a life. But baby, what if I hurt you like he hurt my mom? What if I hurt our kids?" He loses the battle with himself, and the tears start flowing.
Lucy's heart breaks again. She rubs away his tears with her thumb before saying, "Babe, I know you would never willingly hurt me." She guides one of his hands to her side where that tattoo is. "You helped save my life. You made sacrifices for our relationship. The fact that we're talking about how you feel is a great start because you're doing everything in your power to not end up like Tom. You. Are. Not. Him."
Tim looks up at Lucy with a smile and says, "You made me the man I am today. You helped me heal after everything with Isabel. You are my best source of comfort, Lu I love you."
"I love you too Tim. I'm here for you through thick and thin, just like you're here for me."
She places a soft kiss on his lips, and he returns it affectionately. He sits up and pulls her into a hug, one arm around her waist, the other playing with her hair. Lucy puts a hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. They stay in the embrace for a bit, content with feeling each other's warmth.
Eventually, Lucy pulls back and gets off the couch. She pulls Tim up with her and leads him to her room. Tim hesitates for a moment. It was late and he didn't want to spend the night and bother her before her shift tomorrow.
"Are you sure you don't mind me staying?" Tim asks. "I can always head back to my place. I know you work tomorrow."
"Get it through your head Bradford. You're stuck with me. Of course, I want you to stay!" Lucy replies.
Tim smiles and follows Lucy into her room. They head into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Tim worries he won't be able to sleep, but knowing Lucy is by his side, anything is possible. As soon as they get into bed, Tim pulls Lucy close to him. She rests her head on being chest and her arm starts rubbing his back. Tim places a soft kiss on her forehead.
"I love you, Lucy. Thank you for being here for me," Tim says, placing another kiss on her head.
"Always Tim, always. I love you too," Lucy replies, before leaning up and kissing his cheek.
Soon after, they drift off into a peaceful, deep sleep. Tim never let go of Lucy. Lucy never let go of Tim. The future of a police officer is uncertain, but they do know that they'll get through whatever life throws at them together.
