A/N: Grab those tissues again, readers. I cried while writing/editing this chapter.
"Boys, you can break
you'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A woman's good, good heart . . .
So fathers, be good to your daughters."
-John Mayer
Mary recoiled in surprise. "Seth is dead? How – heartache?"
Marshall shook his head. "Shot, on the job."
"Dear God, shouldn't the man have been retired?"
"He was – but they kept asking him back a couple of times a year and you know Dad, he never said no to the Marshals. Mom begged him not to go on the last one – the man was an escaped convict from death row-"
"Wait – your father was on the team to capture Jason Maddox?"
"Yep – and he was the one fatality."
Mary shook her head. "Well, he went out like he always wanted to-"
"- and he did help recapture him so all's well that ends well, right?"
"Oh Marshall, you sound so – so-"
"What, bitter? No, I'm not, well, not much anyway. I have some regrets – the biggest one being not knowing the part he played the day you left. I'm sorry I can't give you that missing piece, Mer. You must be pissed that I'm three years too late in finding you."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't – but maybe we shouldn't give up yet. Maybe Patti-"
But Marshall was already shaking his head. "Mom doesn't know anything."
"How do you know? Have you asked her?"
"Of course – and she would have volunteered any information she had years ago. I'm afraid this is a secret Dad took with him to the grave."
Mary reached out and brushed a stray lock out of his eyes. "I can't believe two men so different share the same genetic material. Are you sure you're not adopted?"
He grunted. "I have the saliva test to prove it."
She laughed. "Wait – you ran your own DNA test to prove Seth was your father?"
He leveled a gaze at her. "Can you blame me?"
She shook her head. "I guess not. Neither of us had father of the year Dads, huh?"
He grunted again.
"I'm glad Will had you growing up – he told me you're his best friend."
Marshall blinked back the moisture in his eyes. "I just tried to be everything I wanted my own dad to be and wasn't, you know? In the end I hope it was enough."
Mary took his hand in hers. "It was – you being there to love and raise him, Marshall, was more than enough. Hell, it was more than my father did. And the fact that you are his best friend is more than your father ever was for you – you really are my hero, Marshall Mann." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you for doing such a good job raising our son."
"Does this mean you forgive me for not finding you sooner?"
"Only if you forgive me for running out on you both in the first place."
Marshall's eyes clouded over and Mary's free hand flew to his lips. "No, I'm sorry, it's too soon for that – it's been eighteen years for you while it's only been a day for me. How about we agree to start from here and work on things – you keep answering my questions and I'll tell you what I remember as well. Deal?"
He removed her fingers and fought the urge to kiss them, placing them instead in his lap. "Deal."
They sat quietly side by side for several minutes before Mary broke the silence. "I found him, Marshall. I found my Dad."
He turned on the log to look at her, but she was staring out to sea, her face stormy with emotion. "How?"
"Isn't that what US Marshals do- find people?"
"Mary-" he sighed and she turned at the pleading sound in his voice. "Tell me."
"When I woke up in the hospital, for the longest time, all I could remember was my first name. I was in a Catholic hospital and it turned out that one of the sisters had actually found me and brought me in. She had sat with me every day until I opened my eyes – without her vigilant care the doctors probably would have shut off the machines-"
"Let me know where to send the thank you card," Marshall murmured and she smiled.
"Anyway, Sister Agnes took good care of me and eventually I remembered my full name and other bits and pieces of my life – and I began to wonder who was paying my bills. Sister told me not to worry, that it was being taken care of. Even through my physical therapy and rehab, everything was paid for but no one came to visit. I pretended to drop the matter but I never forgot about it and when I became a US Marshal, I dug into the hospital records and found my bills were paid for by the government."
"Our government?"
Mary slugged his shoulder playfully. "Yes, String Bean, our government. But the company was a front and I couldn't find out who was really behind it – so I left it alone."
Marshall frowned. "That's it? That's the end of the story? You know, I have to say that you're a horrible storyteller. I can give you some hints-"
"Did I say I was done? I was pausing for dramatic effect."
"Oh, sorry. Please continue."
She smiled. "Then I began digging into the system to find my dad – and yes, that's the real reason I became a US Marshal in the first place and what do you think I found?"
"What?"
"I found a connection between the company that paid for my hospital bills and my father."
"Wait – your father paid for your medical bills? But that would mean that he had been keeping tabs on you all these years-"
"Exactly! So I dug deeper and found an alias and a location and went to visit a John Seamus in Topeka."
Topeka, Kansas
September 2002
"Don't stay too long, Inspector. It's one of his better days but Mr. Seamus needs his rest. Don't upset him."
"I won't, thank you. Oh, nurse?"
"Yes?"
"How long does Mr. Seamus have to live?"
"The doctors don't like to put a timeframe on a person's life. There are too many factors involved, not the least of which are the person's will to live and God's providence. But Mr. Seamus is in the final stages of colon cancer – it won't be long now, poor man." The nurse made the sign of the cross and left, closing the door behind her.
Mary stepped further into the sterile room, wrinkling her nose at the strong odor of ammonia and other cleaning agents still lingering in the air. John's breathing was labored as he lay curled on his side facing away from the door, but turned his head slightly at her approach.
"Did you bring lunch? I told you I'm not interested in the slop they serve here."
"I'm not the nurse and I didn't bring lunch."
John rolled to his back and stared at her, his blue eyes pierced into hers. "Mary," he breathed. "How –" he coughed. "How did you find me?"
"It's what I do."
John pushed himself up slightly in bed. "I'm not a fugitive – I've served my time – they took their pound of flesh a long time ago. If you're here for more, I'm afraid you're too late. I'll be dead soon."
"You paid my hospital and other medical bills."
John nodded.
"Why?"
"Why?" he repeated. "You're my daughter, I'm your father-"
Mary barked a laugh. "That's funny – you haven't been my father since I was seven years old. Why the sudden attack of conscience now?"
"Mary-"
"No, I've spent the last year looking for you so you're going to listen to me. What gives you the right to suddenly start acting like my father? You walked out on us, remember?"
"Well, from where I'm sitting the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
Mary recoiled in shock. "What the hell does that mean?"
John's heart monitor began beeping wildly as his eyes rolled back into his head. Mary backed up as the nurse flew into the room. "What did you do? Didn't I tell you not to upset him? Leave, now!"
"But I-"
"Now!"
"I went back the next day, but he was gone."
"Mary, I'm so sorry."
"He was going to tell me that I was just like him – that I had abandoned my own family."
"No, listen to me-" Marshall cupped her face in his hands. "You are not your father-"
"How can you say that?"
"Because your father was a grown man who chose to rob banks for a living and abandoned his wife and children to save his own skin. You on the other hand were barely out of high school and suffering from post partum depression. The two situations are completely different – I know you would have come home if the accident hadn't happened-"
Tears were streaming down her face and over his hands. "How do you know that?"
"Because I had faith in us – I told you it was you and me, forever. Do you remember that?"
She nodded.
"You believed that then – and I know you believed me when I told you I loved you."
"Is that why you waited for me – because you loved me?"
He nodded. "And because you asked me too."
"So, in eighteen years, there hasn't been anyone – you haven't-" she left the sentence unfinished.
He shook his head and dropped his hands from her face.
She hung her head. "I can't say the same, Marshall. I know it will hurt you, but I've been with-"
"Hey," he interrupted. "You didn't know, OK? Besides, it was a long time ago. Things are different now – you're engaged and I've given you the papers and everything's going to be fine. You and Raph can get married and -"
"But you waited for me."
He shrugged.
"Why?"
"I – wait, what are you asking me? Why did I wait for you or why didn't I find someone else?"
Now it was her turn to shrug. "Both, I guess. Is the answer different?"
His eyes fluttered shut. Shit, how do I answer this? "Because you asked me to wait."
Her jaw dropped. "Yeah, eighteen years ago I asked you to wait. But what kept you waiting? I mean, I didn't ask you to turn into a monk waiting for me! Unless-" she paled. "Oh my God."
"Mary, what-"
She stood on shaky legs, her face as pale as the sand beneath her feet. "You still love me."
"I-"
"The truth, Marshall. You promised me that – and you've always told me the truth so don't stop now. Are you still in love with me?"
"No."
She blinked. "No?"
"No."
"I don't believe you."
He shrugged. "Fine, don't believe me."
She took a step in his direction. "I don't believe that a man would wait eighteen years simply because of a note if there weren't deep feelings involved. So you better explain yourself, Marshall – because I think your nose is about to grow."
"I'm not explaining anything until you sit down and take the weight off your ankle."
"Damn it, Marshall! I'm not a porcelain doll – I don't need a protector or someone to-"
Ignoring her protests he placed his hands around her waist and once again lifted her onto the log, propping her foot on the opposite end. "Comfortable?"
She glared daggers at him but he just smiled sweetly at her.
"I was deeply in love with you once, as you well know. And yes, in the beginning that is why I waited for you – because of that love we shared. Then I waited for you because of Will – I knew that he deserved to know his mother. And I never met anyone who compared to you – no other women made me feel that same spark that you did – so if you call that 'waiting', yeah, I guess I was waiting."
She tilted her head and glared at him. "But you're not in love with me?"
Marshall grew serious. "How can I be? I don't know you anymore. It's been eighteen years, Mary. I have no idea if you still like horror movies but only if you have someone to watch them with, or if your secret favorite color is pink, or if you still like to watch people come out of public restrooms to see if they have toilet paper stuck to their shoes."
Mary smiled. "All those are still true, Marshall."
"Then what about the fact that you're engaged to someone who drinks, hm? I remember you and I having a serious discussion about never having alcohol in our house, Mary, because of all the negative effects it had on your mom and the bad memories from your childhood. Do you remember that?"
She flinched. "Marshall, I can explain-"
He held up a hand. "No, I'm sorry. I've overstepped. You don't have to explain anything to me. I just wanted to point out that we're different – we've grown up and we don't really know each other anymore and that's OK because I've really only come out here for one reason: Will. He wants to have a relationship with you."
"I want that too."
"Then we're in agreement." He brushed the sand from his lap. "I need to go – Will is waiting."
"Marshall – about the papers-"
"Just sign them and get them back to me. I'll file them with my lawyer when I get home."
"That's it?"
He nodded. "That's it."
She swallowed. "We can still be friends, can't we?"
"I hope I'll always be your friend, Mary Shannon."
Liam looked up as his Dad came through the door. "Whoa! You look like shit."
"Thanks, Son. That's just what I needed to hear."
"Sorry – how'd it go?"
"I'm sorry to tell you that I didn't punch Raph and your mom and I didn't fall into each other's arms."
"So it was a wasted trip?"
Marshall sighed. "Will, it's extremely complicated, all right? Raph is staying somewhere else for a few days while-"
"She kicked the prick out? YES!"
He shook his head. "Your mom is in shock – I don't think she knows what she wants right now."
"So you're saying she could want you?"
He glared at his son. "You're not helping. Look, why don't you put on a clean T shirt and go meet Mary for lunch? I texted you the name and address of the restaurant."
"You're not coming?"
Marshall shook his head as he collapsed on the bed. "I need some down time."
"Dad – you're OK?"
"Hm? Oh, fine – just still tired from the flight. Go – I'll be here when you get back. Have fun."
Marshall listened as the door clicked shut behind Will and waited a few minutes to ensure his son was gone before letting the tears flow.
The door flew open. "Dad, I forgot to change-" Liam stood at the foot of the bed. "I knew it – I knew you weren't OK." He sat on the bed. "What happened?"
"Will, you're going to be late."
"Fuck, forget about that-"
"Will, language. Your mom is waiting-"
"I don't care. You come first-"
Marshall sat up slowly. "I did something stupid."
Liam snorted. "Is that all? I do stupid stuff all the time. Just say you're sorry and I'm sure Mary will forgive you."
Marshall shook his head. "You don't know your mother – besides, even though it was stupid, it was still the right thing to do."
Liam shook his head. "I don't get it."
"I know. Go to lunch. I don't want to tell you about it now. You'll only get pissed off and she'll notice and drag it out of you and you'll get caught in the middle and that's the last thing I want."
"OK – but you're not going to stay here and cry and stare at the ceiling the whole time I'm gone, are you?"
Marshall gave his son a small smile. "No, I'll go for a walk and try to clear my head."
"Sure you won't come with me?"
"No, but I'll walk out with you."
Austin, TX
"Are you sure you're ready, Mom? We can always to this tomorrow."
Patti Mann smiled at her daughter-in-law, Faith. "That's what I've been saying for the past three years. No, I can't put this off any longer. There are some papers that the attorney has been asking me for and they have to be in these last few boxes from Seth's study. I need to just put on my big girl panties and open them." Her hands trembled as she reached for the first box. "It's just – this is where Seth spent the most time when he was home, so opening these boxes will bring back a lot of memories for me. I – I don't know if-"
"Mom, should I call Mark?"
Patti wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "No, don't bother him at work. I could wait to do this when he gets home tonight but I know that the sight of my tears makes him uncomfortable so that's why I wanted to do this during the day while he was gone."
"Well, if you're sure-"
Patti nodded. "Let's get started."
The first box contained nothing more than the contents from the top of Seth's desk and so was very impersonal, except for one of his many well worn and loved pipes. Patti cradled it lovingly, kissing the bowl before setting it to the side for Mark, Michael, or one of the grandkids.
The second box brought Patti to her knees as the familiar scent of Seth's tobacco wafted out. She wiped away tears as family photos were pulled out and Faith went in search of more tissues.
"Found some!" she announced as she tripped back into the room.
Patti nearly dropped the framed print she was holding: a candid of Marshall, Mary, and newborn William. Something fell out of the back and fluttered to the floor. Faith picked the folded pages up and handed them to Patti as the older woman placed the picture on top of the others.
"What is that, Mom?"
"I don't know – it's Seth's writing, though." She unfolded the notepaper and saw that it was a letter addressed to Marshall and dated June 1, 2011. Patti scanned the first paragraph and gasped, her face going pale. "Oh my God," she whispered. "All this time, Seth knew. He knew and he never told any of us."
"Knew what?" Faith pressed her. "Mom, what are you talking about?"
"I can't believe he did this! Seth Mann, if you weren't already dead-" Patti fumed, as she got to her feet. "I've got to talk to Marshall – he has to know!"
A/N: A letter from the beyond? What does it say? Is it the missing piece M&M need? Stay tuned. Reviews are LOVE!