A/N: Only 2 reviews for the last chapter - I hope more of you are still reading and enjoying this story. Don't forget to review - it feeds the muses. We finally get to the letter at the end of this one. Strong T rating again for Mary's mouth.

"Hold, hold me for a while
I know this won't last forever
So hold, hold me tonight
Before the morning takes you away."

-Rednex

"So tell me, Mary, what have you been doing with yourself for the past eighteen years?"

"Mom-"

Mary laid a hand over his on the tabletop and gave it a slight squeeze before locking gazes with Patti Mann. "I can't talk much about my work, Patti, but I can tell you that I'm a US Marshal with the FTF, just like Seth was-"

Patti leaned back in her chair as her fork clattered to her plate. "That's the last thing I expected you to say. You and Marshall both always seemed to hate Seth's profession – I never thought either one of you would go into the Marshal Service. And now here you both are, US Marshals."

"I'm not in the FTF, mom," Marshall put in softly.

"No, you're not. Which branch are you with exactly?"

He picked up his mother's hand and kissed the back of it softly. "Nice try."

She shrugged and turned her attention back to Mary. "So, can I ask what made you go into the FTF?"

Mary looked at Marshall and he shrugged, telling her silently that he would support her decision either way. She took a deep breath before she whispered. "I needed to find my father and I didn't know how else to do it."

Patti's face paled and she glanced at her purse. "Your father?"

"Yes, he's been wanted by the FBI for years but I knew they wouldn't tell me if they had any leads so I thought if I joined – Patti, what's wrong?" Mary broke off as she noticed the other woman was making small gasping sounds like a fish out of water.

"Mary," she whispered softly. "You need to read this." She dug in her purse and pulled out the letter, the same one she had tried to give to her earlier in the day. "It's – it's about –"

Mary slapped her napkin down on the table. "I thought we were going to have a nice family dinner- I don't – I can't – not tonight, please-"

Marshall snagged the missive out of his mother's hand as Patti gaped in astonishment at Mary's reaction. "Mom, I'll hang onto this for the time being. Mary's had a rather emotional day and I don't think she can take any more revelations." He got hold of her shaking hand under the table and she held on tight. "Now, why don't we catch our waiter and see what's on the dessert menu tonight? Mary says they do wonderful things with chocolate here."

"I love chocolate," Patti smiled.

"I remember," Mary whispered.

Marshall stuck his head out of the hall bathroom to see Mary standing in her bedroom doorway, watching him. He grinned around his toothbrush. "She's only trying to help."

Mary grimaced. "I know."

"She still cares about you."

"I know."

He frowned at her as he disappeared back inside to spit, rinse out his mouth, rinse off his toothbrush, and wash his hands. Marshall shut off the bathroom light and turned, trying not to jump as he nearly collided with Mary who had moved silently to stand in the hall just outside. Sighing, he reached out and placed his hands on her cotton covered hips.

"You know, she never said a bad word about you to Brandi? The entire time after my folks took Bee in and raised her, she never said one bad word against you in her hearing."

Mary's eyes were fixed on the fine hairs of his chest that were trying to poke out of his wife beater. "Really?"

"Really. Mom always liked you – she was always in our corner."

"And your dad?"

Marshall sighed. "You remember graduation day – the fight we had that resulted in me punching him?"

She nodded, her eyes still fixed on his chest.

"Things didn't get better after we got back from Atlantic City and we told our families we had eloped. He asked if you were pregnant and had coerced me into marrying you."

She flinched. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you have some memories of Seth, that's why. Anyway, when we announced that you were pregnant two months later, Dad thought we'd been lying before and he basically disowned me – which didn't bother me, but it broke mom's heart. So that's how we ended up moving to the city and living with Aunt Gina."

Her eyes finally met his, shiny with emotion. "And were we happy – about the baby, with each other? I mean, I know I was depressed and an emotional bitch but overall, we were happy?"

Marshall leaned down and placed a short, sweet kiss on her lips. "Yes, we were."

She sighed. "Until your father came and – shit, what happened? We have to read that letter, Marshall."

"And we will but not tonight. You've been through hell today, my love, and as your husband I'm putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. It's time for bed and tomorrow we'll face the truth, together."

She looped her arms around his neck. "And afterward? You'll still be here?"

He cocked his head. "Mary?"

She let her arms fall. "Nothing. Never mind – it's late, I'm tired-"

He caught her hands. "Is this what's been going round and round in your head all day? That something in that letter would have me running for the hills?"

Her fingers tightened around his. "I can't lose you – not now that I've found you. A week ago I didn't even know I was married and now-" she broke off, searching his eyes, wiling him to complete her sentence.

"Now?" he repeated softly.

"Now my dreams are full of you. I call and reach for you in my sleep and when I open my eyes and you're not there, I'm afraid it's all a dream."

He cupped one cheek tenderly. "All I had for eighteen years were dreams."

She leaned into his touch. "In my dreams, I remember your touch, your taste – us. And then I wake up and I remember – nothing."

His hand trembled against her skin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought they were just dreams until you kissed me this morning and I realized that my heart, my body was actually remembering you – us. And I – I can't lose you, Marshall. Before I was terrified to find out the truth because it might show me I'm just like him – my father – the man who couldn't love his family and make a lifelong commitment." She turned and pressed a kiss into his palm. "Now I'm afraid to find out the truth because I'll be out of excuses and your sympathy will melt away and your love will turn to hate and I'll be left alone – without you."

For a long moment, Marshall stared at her in shock before he lowered his hand so he could gather her in his arms. "Oh my foolish, foolish love! I don't know what more I can say or do to convince you," he breathed against the skin of her neck. "If my love hasn't turned to hate after all these years, I really don't think a little information contained in a letter from my estranged father is going to do the trick."

"But, Marshall-"

"No, listen to me. I am angry – I'm not going to deny that anymore. I'm angry that you missed Will's childhood and watching him grow into the amazing young man that he is – but I'm also mad at myself because I've known for years where to find you. Just like I know deep down, you're angry with me too – don't pretend you're not. And I'm also angry on Brandi's behalf. She was lost and scared and she needed YOU – but I understand your reasons for not disrupting her life – hell, I had the same reasons for Will! We are so much alike, Mer. You're afraid I'll leave once the truth comes out and there's still a small part of me that's afraid you will leave again-"

"Never." She clutched him tighter. "Til death parts us, Marshall."

He chuckled. "So I take it you're not signing the divorce papers?"

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"Did you give me those papers because you wanted a divorce or because you were being a fucking gentleman?"

He grinned. "What do you think?"

She slugged his shoulder. "Jackass!"

Smothering a yawn, he gave her a quick kiss. "Can I go to bed now? I'm exhausted."

Mary took his hand and led him down the hall towards her room.

"Mary – what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm going to bed."

"Yeah, but my room is that way."

"No, it's not."

"Mary-"

She pushed him down onto the mattress. "What?"

He caught her about the hips, stilling her movements. "I meant what I said earlier – I think we should wait."

She frowned. "For what?"

He cradled her face. "We'll know when the time is right."

She sighed into his hands. "Could you just – would you mind-"

"What? What do you need?"

"Hold me for awhile? I promise to be good."

Marshall laughed. "You're never good."

She pouted. "Hey! I do try-"

His mouth quirked and she smiled at him before she pecked his lips. "Seriously, Marshall, I just don't know if I'll be able to sleep if you're not with me tonight."

Marshall kissed the corner of her mouth before he got up and turned down the bed as Mary cracked the window and shut the door. He waited for her climb in first, and then climbed in on the opposite side, careful to give her plenty of space.

"What are you doing all the way over there?"

"Sleeping."

She punched her pillow. "Slide over here. I might as well be sleeping alone if you're all the way over there."

He chuckled as he slid closer. "You don't like to snuggle, Mer."

She reached back and grabbed his arm, pulling it over and around her waist. "Shows how much you remember. Some things have changed- I like to be close to you."

Marshall buried his face in her hair. "I'll remember that."

(August 1995)

Mary's palms were sweaty as she swept another test into her basket. She looked at the number of boxes and wondered if she had enough and briefly contemplated making it an even dozen but then thought that was overkill. Squaring her shoulders, she marched to the checkout and tried not to groan as she saw who was manning the counter: Maggie Black, the biggest gossip in town. But a smile crept across Mary's face as she remembered something she had seen just last week as she had helped Jinx home from the tavern.

Mary unloaded her basket on Maggie's counter and waited for the inevitable. Maggie snapped her gum and her eyes lit up as they traveled from the boxes to Mary. "Whoa! Got enough tests, Mary?"

She shrugged.

Maggie began to scan and Mary waited, knowing the gossip girl wasn't done. "So, you and your new hubby have a bun in the oven, huh?"

Mary bristled. "I don't know, hence the tests. But say, didn't I see you coming out of Cedarwood Flats the other night with Mr. Lee?"

Direct Hit. Maggie's mouth fell open and her bubble gum hit the counter top with a splat. Mary paid for her purchases with cash and left before the gossip could recover and breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret was safe for now – at least she had time to get home and take the tests and tell Marshall the results one way or the other before Maggie did.

That night Mary stared in disbelief at ten positive pregnancy tests laid out on the foot of their futon bed. They had been so careful! Well – except on their honeymoon. Marshall hadn't been wearing condoms that night but she'd still been on the pill – wait, she hadn't taken it with them. Shit! One night! Could that have made such a difference? They were so screwed! His father was going to hit the roof! And what was Marshall going to say? They were still talking about the possibility of Harvard and now-

The sound of his key in the lock barely registered and Marshall walked into their one room utility apartment. "Hi, my love."

She grunted in reply, staring in dismay at the tests.

"What's wrong?"

She glared up at him. "This is all your fault! You and your fucking dick!"

Marshall recoiled at her words, shocked to be greeted in such a manner. "Mary, what the hell-"

She rose and took two steps, grabbing him by the arm. "Look!" she pointed at their bed. "Look what you did!"

His brow lowered in confusion, then shock, then something she didn't know how to read. "Are those-?"

"Yes, jackass!" she screamed, releasing his arm. "And they're all positive!"

He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "So – you're pregnant."

She nodded.

"With one baby – or ten?"

"Oh no – don't make a joke – this is so NOT funny! We are so SCREWED, Marshall! What about Harvard, huh? Not to mention your father, and our jobs, and-"

Her words were swallowed as his lips covered hers, and despite her anger and her fear, Mary melted into him, the butterflies taking flight as her husband peeled the clothes from her body and they celebrated their news with coming together in the very act that had gotten them into this predicament in the first place.

Much later, Mary lay on her husband's chest, their legs still intimately entwined, trying to catch her breath. "What are we going to do, Marshall? We are so screwed."

"Yes, we are," he agreed solemnly.

She smacked his chest and he laughed. "I'm serious here."

"I know," he kissed her temple. "Look, Mer, I don't have any answers right now, but we'll figure it out, OK? It's you and me, forever, remember?"

She lifted teary eyes to his. "You really believe that, don't you?"

He nodded. "Don't you?"

"I want to."

He brushed their lips together. "Then until you do, I'll believe for the both of us."

Mary's eyes flew open in the darkness, her dream fading but the ring of Marshall's words resounding in her ears. It sounded so much like something he would say. Was it merely a dream or was she remembering something at last? She poked Marshall in the stomach and he grunted, swatting her hand away like a fly.

"Marshall, wake up."

"Mm, Mary, I'm sleeping." He rolled away from her and started to snore.

She rolled over and crept her hands under his wife beater, her fingers tickling his ribs. "Marshall-"

"Damn it, woman!" his arms pinned her fingers as he rolled to his back. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten a good night's sleep?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry but I had a dream and it was so real and I need to tell you about it before I forget because it could be a memory-"

He had propped himself up on one elbow while she had been talking and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Let's hear it."

"You don't mind?"

He glared at her. "You woke me up, Mer."

"Right. Sorry. So, I was at the pharmacy-" she watched his face as she told him what she could remember of her dream. At first he looked bored but when she mentioned ten pregnancy tests and their apartment, she could see the excitement in his face. When she finished she was nearly bouncing on the bed. "It was a memory, wasn't it? Of you and me?"

"Well, I can't speak for the pharmacy part because I wasn't there and you didn't tell me about it but-" he paused as he sat up slowly. "Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened."

She threw her arms around his neck, knocking him back onto the bed. "I'm remembering! I remember taking the tests and being scared and yet happy at the same time – we were happy, weren't we?"

He lifted a hand to caress the side of her face. "Yes, my love, we were happy. Will was always wanted and loved."

She wrinkled her nose as she picked up on the tone of his voice. "He thought he wasn't."

Marshall sighed. "You must realize that he blamed himself – thought that maybe it was his fault that you left."

Mary pulled away and sat up. "Fuck, Marshall! I never wanted – I never thought – no, that's not what – that can't be what happened!'

He laid a reassuring hand on her back. "I'm sure it's not."

She threw back the covers. "Where's that letter?"

"In my jeans in the guest room – why?"

"Because we're going to read it – right now!"

"Mary, it's three o'clock in the morning – don't you think we could get some more sleep and read it later?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "You're going back to sleep?"

"I was seriously considering it, yeah."

"Well, un consider it. I'm going to grab the letter and I'll meet you in the living room."

Marshall started the coffee and entered the living room to see Mary already curled up on the couch, looking drowsy.

"Mary, let's go back-"

"No."

"It will still be here in a couple of hours."

"I'm done being selfish, Marshall. I won't have Will blame himself anymore for my leaving like I did with my own father– not when this letter could give all of us peace of mind. So let's read it and get it over with."

"You have to remember it's from my Dad – it's heavily slanted from his perspective and may raise more questions than it answers."

Mary shook her head. "Your mom intimated that it didn't. So stop stalling and open the damn letter."

"You're the one that's all so fired anxious – you read it."

"It's addressed to you."

He grunted. "You're suddenly upholding the rules of the post office? It was never mailed-"

"Fuck, Marshall. I can't – just read it out loud, please?"

He took the pages from her trembling fingers, keeping his hand in hers. "Before I start, I need you to know something. I never wanted to divorce you – you are now and ever will be my wife. I love you, Mary Shannon Mann."

She lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of his. "Quit stalling."

"That transparent, huh?"

"Only to me."

Marshall released her hand and carefully unfolded the crinkled pages and stared at his father's crabbed handwriting, familiar and yet strange after all this time. He glanced at the date and gasped.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just-" Marshall cleared his throat. "He wrote this the day before he left home on the Maddox case. Almost as if he knew-"

Mary reached over and squeezed his knee, offering her silent support.

He cleared his throat again and began to read.

"My dearest Son: I know that you will be shocked to hear from me after all this time and will no doubt never even read this letter but I beg you to read my words before you burn them because I have decided to break my long held silence and tell you what I know of the events surrounding your wife's disappearance. No doubt you wonder why I have chosen NOW to speak; none of us know how much time we have on this earth and with each assignment I accept I am well aware I might not return. If I do, I will burn this letter myself; if I do not, my darling Patti will find it and no doubt deliver it to you herself.

"But enough about that. You have long blamed me for having something to do with your wife's disappearance or at the very least, not using my resources to help you find her. I confess I am guilty on both counts."

Marshall's eyes lifted off the page at Mary's gasp. "What? What is it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing – just to hear him admit it – I never thought – why?"

"I don't know – do you want me to keep going?"

She nodded.

"Contrary to your belief, I never hated her or Brandi – both of them deserved better cards than the ones life dealt them. I know I was against your relationship with Mary from the beginning but not for the reasons you think – it wasn't because of her reputation or my dreams for your future. It was because I knew about her family skeletons.

"More importantly, I knew James Wiley Shannon."

A/N: WTF - the Papas knew each other? Coming up: the rest of the letter! Reviews are LOVE!