As the chapter title should imply, this update is mainly a notice for letting everyone know to the reset's first chapter is now officially revised, and that anything from the previous 4 chapters is in their unrevised forms are now fully considered non-canon unless it transfers over to the revised chapters.
That being said, this version is going to stay up for at least a while. I'm not 100% sure on what will happen yet, but either I'll keep the story up until all the chapters get posted in their revised forms, until its clear the reset versions have surpassed the originals, or I might keep them here indefinitely. The latter two options are the most likely right now, with the surpassing plan being the most likely one.
Unlike its sibling story, I don't have an AO3 side story exclusive for this one... yet, that is. I've been trying to think of a way to make one that's like the bits of lore I used to post alongside the top ANs of the original story, but I'm still not sure just yet, and it may take a while before I think of the right idea for it.
Below is part of what was intended to be the original Chapter 4, until issues related to revisions made me realize there were some problems that needed to be fixed. I'll explain in the author notes at the bottom. I will at least say the issues weren't anything major, just me catching something I initially didn't in the previous chapters that was a big issue.
So, with all that said, here's the original Ch 4.
[Prototype Chapter 4]
The scene opened to Kuoh Town, which had caught up on the technology game like the city its prefecture was named after. It was somewhat bigger, with some of the older homes having been torn down or updated into modern equivalents, and much more.
Currently, the scene opened to Kuoh Academy, the school that Rias began attended a few months after discovering the mystery behind Cleria Belial.
"Dear Satan, this is torture..."
Zooming towards the inside of the Old School Building, during the hour before school began for the day, the scene opened to the sight of Rias herself as she sat on her desk. There was a mess of papers scattered everywhere on its surface, with each one focusing on the same topic.
"Rias!" A masculine voice shouted.
Looking up for a moment, her eyes met with a handsome young man with short blond hair, and blue eyes with a beauty mark underneath the left. His attire was the Kuoh Academy uniform for boys, consisted of a black blazer with white accents, a white dress shirt with long sleeves and a black ribbon on the collar, matching black pants, and brown dress shoes.
He was currently holding what looked to be a bundle of six papers.
"Here's another set of papers that mention Cleria's name in them." He said, holding them out to her.
"Thanks Kiba." She replied.
As she took them, a bunch of bats, and ones of the normal kind instead of the breed that her Familiar was, with glowing red eyes flew into the room. Each of them was seen carrying a single piece of paper as they approached.
"Rias, I found something too! I think this might be the-" A masculine voice exclaimed, coming from the bat in front.
Said bat then flew too fast to stop, making it head towards the wall on Rias' right... and then slam into it.
All of the other bats suddenly froze before they fell to the ground alongside it, making the papers fly everywhere as all of the bats immediately disappeared in puffs of smokes. The one bat who slammed into the wall then transformed into a boy that was a year younger than Kiba.
"Owie..." He mumbled in pain.
He had an androgynous-looking appearance, with platinum blond hair and pinkish-violet eyes, and pointed ears that showed his supernatural heritage. His hair was styled in short bob cut with several small fringes over his forehead, which is what mainly gave the appearance of a beautiful girl. Unlike Kiba, he was wearing the girls' Kuoh Academy uniform, only with thigh high stockings instead of normal socks like Rias.
"Gasper, I warned you before about flying in a hurry." Rias sighed, placing a hand on her head before shaking it.
The dozens of papers fell everywhere, with most of them landing on the couch.
A few seconds later, the sight of a strange lump on the couch moved, revealing there was a girl who had been sleeping on it.
"Well, that's one way to wake someone from a nap." She said with an annoyed tone, glaring at everyone.
Said girl looked to be around Gasper's age despite looking closer to Kiba's, having a voluptuous figure like Rias did, though smaller than the redheaded Devil was since she was a First Year student.
Her eyes were a hazel color and had a cat-like look to them, which contrasted greatly with her white hair that reached to her mid back, and had a pair of small twin tails that were positioned and styled in a way that made them resemble droopy cat ears.
"Sorry Shirone..." Gasper apologized.
Rias put put her hand on her head again, letting out an exhausted groan in response.
At that moment, one more addition to the small group chose to walk into the room.
"What the?"
Said addition was revealed to be a girl who, while shorter in height than Rias, had a face that made it clear she was older. The only person in the room who was a College Student compared to the High Schoolers in the room.
She had the same hazel eyes as Shirone, albeit looking more fitting to her age, with black hair that was even longer than hers. Taking a moment to process everything, she soon walked near Shirone and kneeled by her side.
"Hey sis, do I wanna know or is this one of those things you should intentionally turn a blind eye to?" The woman asked.
"Take a wild guess?" Shirone replied, still annoyed from her forced wakeup call.
"Right..." She replied, feeling a sweat drop go down her cheek as she moved away.
She then walked over to Rias.
"My apologies for the delay in getting over here, one of my kouhai needed help getting around." She apologized.
"It's fine Kuroka, what I need your help with might be too hard for even you to figure out." Rias replied, sighing a little.
Kuroka took a look at the papers she was looking over.
"Cleria's files again, huh? I have to admit that determination you have to figure this out is-" She noted.
As she looked over one of the papers, she felt something strange as her thumb ran over part of the ink.
"Hmm?" She blinked.
"Something wrong?" Rias asked.
"I felt something weird on this spot, try touching it." Kuroka explained.
Rias took the paper and put her thumb where Kuroka had it, and noticed it as well.
"You're right, this does feels different." She realized.
Gasper walked over at that moment, and knelt a bit closer.
"Let me see that." He offered.
He knelt over the same spot, sniffing it slightly, though not in the usual sense. What his nose was trying to detect was something more magical.
"Rias, I think there's magical ink in this spot." He assumed.
"Magic ink?" Rias repeated.
She thought on that for a bit, then gasped as it hit her.
"Quick, gather all the papers into one stack!" She requested.
Everyone quickly moved to gather them.
Once she had, Rias held them underneath a light, and then... her theory was proven right.
A hidden sentence of glowing blue text revealed itself, and everyone gasped as they saw it.
"We found it..." Rias realized.
She held the stack close to her and began reading the information it held.
Now, for what the issues were?
The first big issue mainly came from the scene in Ch 1, where Cleria explains things to Vali after the assassination of her parents. Cleria made it clear there was urgency in that conversation, and yet began talking to Vali about things before she made that clear, so she was wasting time despite the conversation emphasizing they had little to none they could waste.
In that same scene and Cleria's scene with Diehauser, the second issue is how I had Cleria cause the problem. After recalling the one moment in V18, it didn't feel right for it to go that way, not to mention it implies the villains are so ineffective that it took a mistake for them to actually be made into a threat and actually make any progress for their currently unknown plans with Vali, especially since a later chapter shows Cleria as smart and makes that whole moment feel forced.
The third and final issue is... actually, it isn't really an issue. My original intention was for the second arc to begin with Ch 4, hence the above scene, but now the second arc will begin in Chapter 5 as the revisions have led to me adding one more chapter to the first.
That's all over here, and thanks for all the support these last two years! Remember to stay awesome! ^^
