Bleach (c) Tite Kubo

Black and Blue

Nightmare

"I can't believe you're still eating." Miyako's musical laughter accompanies the warm breeze that swept through the nameless grassy hillside where they'd set up their picnic on this beautiful spring day.

"What? I'm hungry and I like the food. You cooking for me is a rare treat and I'm gonna enjoy it before I get tossed to the vultures." Kaien responds to her teasing with his usual good-natured grin.

It's been months since they'd managed to line up a day off together and they'd worked to the bone to make sure the Division could survive without its Lieutenant and Third Seat for twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, matters of concern with the nobility forced their evening plans to be regrettably postponed, but Kaien and Miyako were still enjoying their picnic.

On this rare day of leave, they've shed their Shihakusho in favor of simple kimonos. Kaien's was a rich navy colour with fireworks stitched down the right hand side in classic Shiba style, Miyako's was a maroon colour, decorated by pink floral patterns around the hems.

"Tossed to the vultures he says. The meeting's only scheduled to last for two hours, you silly man. As Shiba Clan leader it is your responsibility to represent your family's interests at the gathering." Miyako rolls her eyes, brushing her loose hair behind her ear.

When they first met, Miyako had worn it even shorter than his. Now her silky black hair reached down to her waist and Kaien thinks it's gorgeous. Longer hair suits her, helps accent her already graceful features. He's said this to her every time he thinks of it and it's always rewarded him with the cutest blush in the whole damn world, a bashful giggle then a teasing rebuke about his 'rat's nest'.

Kaien pretends her counter wounds him, and then they'd go back to whatever they were doing like nothing happened, albeit with a smile.

"I know, I know, but it's two hours I have to spend away from you." He whines childishly, putting on another familiar routine that's become something of a running joke.

Miyako rolls her eyes indulgently, reaching over to scruff a hand through his hair condescendingly, "Oh, I'm sure you'll manage to muddle through it somehow."

The façade breaks after a short moment's silence and they both have a good laugh. His is a rough low rumble while hers is more refined and hidden behind her hand.

Kaien munches down on the last onigiri before eagerly reaching for the chocolate mochi, "But seriously, I'm going to be stuck in there by myself without you to protect me. Have you seen those old men? One look can shrivel up your soul!"

"Yoruichi Shihoin is hardly what I'd call old or a man. If she's what you consider 'old' then you must be positively ancient." Miyako teases cheekily,

Kaien chokes on the last chocolate Mochi, "Hah! I walked into that one leading with my chin, didn't I?"

"You couldn't have painted a better target for me if you tried, my love."

"I'm so hurt. You're being so mean to me."

Miyako's response is another of her delightful little giggles and a playful shove when he tries to lean in for a kiss, "And remind me how old are you again? You still eat with your whole face. I know babies with better table manners than you."

Kaien cackles, not at all offended by her dismissal and brushing off stray bits of rice from his cheeks. He rolls over and lays his head in her lap with a smile plastered on his face, "Hey, I know how to enjoy my food. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that."

"There is when someone has to make you presentable. I swear you're the reason why I have to carry around so many handkerchiefs." Miyako produces one of the aforementioned articles and brushes off the rest of the crumbles Kaien missed (or smeared further up his face), his attempts to stop her are half-hearted and playful but he lets her clean him up, "Can you imagine the looks on the other Clan Leaders' faces if you showed up to the gathering looking like you'd just made out with a buffet table?"

"Yoruichi would laugh her tail off. As for the others?" Kaien declares cheerfully, spreading his hands above him as though laying something out, "I'd take pictures and frame them all on my office wall. Or I could just bring you along to make sure I look all prim and proper for those stuffy old codgers? You are the Lady of the House."

"Kaien!" Miyako's aghast but giggles all the same at his audacity, cradling him loosely in a hug, "You goofball. You're just the worst, do you realize that?"

"I'm the best." Kaien declares back and Miyako shakes her head indulgently. She wants to be angry and scold him for his lack of regard for station (she's always been more stringent than him, keeping him in line… mostly), but she can't fight back that endeared smile or the way her eyes shine with affection.

Shibas have never been the type to buy into all that ceremonial rigidity the other Four Noble Houses wore as a badge of honour. Or a pole up their collective asses, as his Uncle likes to joke. But Kaien's been playing this game long enough to know that sometimes you've just got to grit your teeth and tolerate it.

"Still, it'd be nice if we could just stay here. Pretend there was a Hollow attack or something, and we got delayed because we had to valiantly battle our way back home like the sagas of old."

Kaien is only half joking. He is nothing if not a dutiful son to his clan. He's sulking largely because his dinner plans have been ruined thanks to some such noble nonsense. A real shame too. He'd had quite a few surprises in store for his beloved wife, but they'd have to wait for another time.

"Yes, it would be." Miyako agrees with a nod, running a hand through Kaien's hair and his eyes slip closed of their own accord, enjoying her touch. "It'd be nice to come back here and visit again."

"Mmm." He hums contentedly in agreement.

"But of course, you just had to go and get me killed, didn't you?"

The knife cleaves through the left half of his throat before Kaien even registers a threat. Crimson life splashes down the front of his kimono and he rasps, unable to draw breath with that gaping wound. One hand presses to his throat, a futile attempt to stem the flow of blood. And he scrambles away, no longer in the rolling green hillside of Rukongai but in the endless acrid desert night of Hueco Mundo.

Crimson paints the scorching white sand. His stomach churns and something like tar rises in his throat. White reishi bursts like an explosion from his mouth and the gash on his neck, burning as it crawls up his skin. It already covers half his face when Kaien looks up, betrayed and pleading and petrified, his nightmare looms over him.

Miyako. But not.

Her beautiful face twisted into a blood-smeared loathsome parody.

Her flesh turned a sickening dark green, orange ichor bleeding down her cheeks. Lips pulled back to reveal a row of jagged teeth locked in a sneering grin. She speaks, but it's not her musical voice.

It's the voice of that hateful disgusting Hollow, "Now now, my dear. You killed me, it's only fair I kill you in trade."

Kaien barely has time to react to the horrific visage before it lunges forward, the knife - now a sword, pierces through his chest to the hilt.

Kaien bolts upright with a panicked yell, covered in sweat and panting with a hand pressed to his scarred neck, feeling it sear like a live wire. His heart thunders in his chest and it takes him a few seconds to reorient himself.

He's in his room in the Visored's warehouse and its sometime at night.

Illuminated by moonlight from a small window, Kaien maps out the familiar objects. His bed, the ancient oak desk that serves double purpose as his bedside table and the dresser, with his Zanpakuto leaning against it. He's dressed in a simple dark blue shirt and pants, both damp and stuck to his skin in sweat.

Cursing under his breath, Kaien slips from his bed onto the floor, his back resting against its frame. He grabs the pack of cigarettes and the lighter off his bedside table, slips one out and lights one up. Huffing out a frustrated breath of smoke, he's scrubbing a hand through his hair, desperately trying to will away that twisted visage clinging to the face of the woman he loved.

It'd been a while since Kaien had a nightmare like that. They used to be pretty common sixty years ago, to the point he'd avoid sleep entirely. Though time, training and the other Visoreds' support helped him push past all that, he figures his guilty conscious thought he was well overdue for a reminder.

He takes slow steadying breaths to will his heartbeat back into a normal rhythm then reaches for his phone and checks the time, wincing at the sudden brightness then slumping in resignation.

"Fuck me..." Kaien groans miserably, the screen reads 3:23am.

Too late to go barhopping and drown his sorrows, too early to go for a morning walk. What a pain in the ass.

He puffs on the cigarette in silence, staring up at the ceiling with tired eyes.

Sometimes Kaien does wonder what Miyako would think of him now. And not just her, Kukaku and Ganju too. He's no longer a Shinigami, not completely - he's some half-breed abomination now. A walking contradiction of what Shinigami stood for.

She would think nothing less of you. She loved you for you, not for the powers you possess. Moreover, she would scold your ear off for daring to believe otherwise. As for your siblings? I think the joy they'd feel at knowing their older brother is alive would far outweigh any personal misgivings about your shadow self.

Nejibana's reassuring voice flows like a gentle stream on a sunny day in the back of Kaien's mind, he feels that anxiety drift away and concedes the point with a dry chuckle. Granted, Kukaku would probably break his jaw whenever they met again... if they met again. Ganju punch him too, then sob and wail like a baby while squeezing the life out of him in a great big bear hug.

As for Miyako? She was as stubborn as him in her own way (it's why they locked horns so much when they first met). Had their situations been reversed and Miyako knew what happened to him after he 'died'?

Well, knowing her, Miyako would've been the first to march straight to Hueco Mundo (by herself if she had to), find him, bash some sense into his Hollowfied head, toss his unconscious body over her shoulder and carry him back home. All the while threatening - in her polite, almost Unohana-like manner - to treat anyone who objected to the business end of her Zanpakuto.

Or, she'd desert her post, venture into the living world to find him - find all of them - and join him in exile.

Or, and this is the most likely option, do exactly the same thing that got him murdered; poke around, ask questions, get noticed by all the wrong people and end up silenced. Except Kaien doubted she'd be lucky enough to get a second chance like he did (If you could call his situation 'lucky').

And yes, Kaien was murdered. He believes that with all his being.

At the time, Kaien had lost his head to vengeance and rage and made stupid mistakes that got himself killed, but sixty years is a long time for tempers to simmer down and reason to prevail. And the timing of it all was far too convenient.

Hindsight's a real bitch, ain't it?

Captain Ukitake did order him to drop it, but for years Kaien had been secretly poking around Aizen and his affairs.

On paper, they should've been the best of friends. Publicly, they were both considered friendly, hardworking and caring men with a natural talent for being Shinigami, who did their duty by their subordinates and the Gotei 13. Problem was, there was always an air of insincerity to the man that put Kaien off.

That feeling only compounded after Lisa and the others were exiled. Suspicious of his former fellow officer, Kaien snuck about for years, trying to get some dirt on Aizen; to hash out anything that'd either allay his suspicions or confirm his mistrust. The latter came true when Kaien had stumbled upon some secret research labs in the District 64 of North Rukongai. Labs that were very much off the official books, and it took him even longer to figure a way inside.

As for when he got inside? 'Nightmare' wasn't anywhere near adequate to describe what he'd found.

Now, Kaien fancies he's got himself a strong stomach; what horrors he read in those research notes made him nauseous (point of fact; he actually did throw up once he'd escaped that blighted place). That wasn't the work of a sane man and the urge to destroy it all on the spot was overwhelming, but he also knew it was an invaluable goldmine, filled with crucial incriminating information that could bring his friends back home and nail that son of a bitch Aizen to a wall for treason.

It's no coincidence then that when Kaien found that lab and stole copies of the research, Miyako's mission to hunt down Metastacia came through from Central 46 less than a week later (Or so they all believed. Who knows how long Aizen was influencing their decisions?).

Everyone and their Zanpakuto knows how that story ended; Miyako dead. Him possessed and dead. And no one the wiser to Aizen's machinations, until sixty years later when baby cousin Ichigo blundered onto the stage and trashed - or at the very least minorly disrupted - Aizen's plans.

After his talk with Ichigo the other day, Kaien hopes for three things; One, Ichigo heeds his advice and starts figuring out how to harmonize with his Hollow. Two, Captain Ukitake could forgive him for disobeying his executive orders. And three, Ukitake manages finds the messages hidden in those books Kaien kept in his office all those years ago.

Unfortunately, Point Three is not guaranteed.

Captain Ukitake is sentimental but there's no telling what happened to Kaien's belongings between being returned to the Shiba Clan and the clan's subsequent fall. The Captain could've kept those books, or Kukaku might have them somewhere. They could be collecting dust in some nameless storage closet, or they could've been destroyed at any point in between.

Kaien doesn't need them, even after six decades he still remembers where he'd hidden everything, but this was his contingency plan in case he couldn't hand the information over himself.

Given this is a war against Aizen? Every single Visored knew they were matching to their funerals by facing that monster. But on the off-chance any of them survived this battle, and Captain Ukitake found what he'd stolen, those research notes would be enough to exonerate the Visoreds and guarantee them a path back home... If they wanted it.

Shaking his head of these thoughts, Kaien stubs the cigarette and reaches for Nejibana. He can feel her reassuring warmth the second his fingers curl around her hilt.

"Well, I sure as hell ain't sleeping again tonight." Kaien declares, he crosses his legs, rests the sheathe across his lap, closes his eyes and cycles through steady breathing for Jinzen. It takes only two cycles before he's in.

"Master." Nejibana's voice greets him when Kaien opens his eyes to an ocean world.

He's standing on a sandbar, one of many in this endless ocean, lapped by a shallow tide that barely reaches his ankles. Massive coral growths jet from the deeper blue ocean like great trees.

Usually the sky would be a crystal clear blue with very few clouds and a welcoming summer sun, but right now its blanketed in a miserably dim grey and there's distant rumbling on the horizon.

He scratches the back of his head, casting an apologetic look to Nejibana who stands there patiently. "Guess that dream messed me up more than I thought, huh?"

The spirit is a beautiful humanoid woman; sunbaked skin, ocean grey eyes, short navy hair interlaced with braids and wearing a flowing navy coloured kimono. Upon closer inspection, the fabric of her kimono are iridescent scales that ripple and shift like the water's surface. Her hands and feet were talons, gloved by sapphire scales and razor sharp tips, with a set of white horns sweeping back over her crown.

His Zanpakuto merely offers a faint smile in acknowledgement. "We all have our own demons to contend with, Master. You shouldn't allow this to trouble you, the storm will abate with time as it always does."

"Yeah, I suppose." Kaien nods in agreement, turning his attention to the wider deeper ocean while running through a series of light warm-up stretches. He senses the Hollow in there, stalking around like a predator of the deep.

"Keen for a spar? We're a long ways overdue for one anyway."

Kaien knows he's been heard. He knows he's gonna have cuts and bruises by the time he leaves his inner world, nothing he couldn't fix with a little healing Kido, but right now he really needs to blow off some steam.

Nejibana helpfully supplies him with her crystalline trident before vanishing into the tides. With thanks, he twirls the weapon expertly and rests it over his shoulder. And he waits.

The distinct warning smell of ozone fills the air followed by a prickle of static, like a thunderstorm brewing on the horizon. There's a twitch and Kaien spins, raising the trident's haft just in time to block a white duplicate's spearhead swinging down from above. The force of the blow is enough to crater the sands beneath him. Matching that monochrome feral grin with a challenging smirk of his own, Kaien pushes back against his Hollow and charges.

Author's note:

Sorry Kaien, just cause I brought ya back that doesn't mean you can have nice things.

Edit: 11/12/2022 - just cleaned up the chapter to make it flow better.

Regards,
Aurora313