Bleach (c) Tite Kubo

Black and Blue

Long Overdue

Rukia gives her report one last look over on her Denreishinki, making a final adjustment here or annotation there before attaching her signature and sending it along.

After that spot of business is done, she glances up across the park from her lonely seat on the park bench.

It's so peaceful in the middle of the day, filled with the sound of happy young children playing on plastic and metal constructs of bars, slides and ladders while their parents watched on, attention split between their children and animated discussions with other parents. Other people stroll through the park, either walking their pets or simply enjoying the pleasant ambiance of a warm mid-morning sun.

In the face of this scene, it's hard to believe the town was attacked a scant few days ago. But maybe that's a good thing too, Rukia reasons.

In the wake of tragedy, life finds a way to go on as it always does. Frankly she'd probably enjoy the atmosphere more if the last few days hadn't been so harrowing.

Despite Orihime and Captain Unohana's best combined efforts, Ichigo still hasn't regained consciousness. And no one can find a trace of his Zanpakutou in the area where he'd battled.

The staggering reality might be it's been destroyed in it's Bankai state thus impossible to restore, but no one wants to consider that devastating possibility just yet. Not until Ichigo's given his account of things.

Then there's the matter of Lieutenant Shiba, who swooped in, effortlessly dismantled an Arrancar, an Espada, in their released form with all the effort of stepping on an ant then vanished without a trace.

Rukia hadn't reported that detail yet either.

Frankly, it happened so quickly Rukia's still half-convinced it was a fever dream. She closes her eyes with an exhausted sigh.

Should she report that encounter to Captain Ukitake anyway? Or should she wait and see if Kaien makes another appearance?

She didn't know what to do. Maybe she could broach the topic with Ichigo when he wakes up. They've been in contact and its possible Ichigo knows more about where the Lieutenant is staying in the living world. But that would open a whole other can of worms she wasn't prepared or authorized to deal with right now. Asking how she knew they were in contact in the first place would've been Ichigo's first response which would unravel certain secrets she's not prepared to handle.

Summarily put, Rukia's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and that rankles at her nerves. What she needs right now is a few minutes' peace and quiet to think it through. That's all.

A shadow looms overhead. She doesn't think twice about it, maybe its a cloud overhead partially blotting out the sun, but when she opens her eyes -

"Boo."

Rukia makes a startled squeak, practically jumping out of her Gigai when she sees the upside down Kaien leaning into her vision, the same way he used to whenever he'd found Rukia alone by the river outside the Thirteenth's barracks years ago.

He snorts, lips quirking up in a half-smirk, "Old habits die hard, huh?" Kaien offers her one of the takeaway cups in his hands, "Here. It's hot chocolate. Figured we'd have that catch up if you aren't too busy; we've got about half a million things to talk about."

Rukia accepts the drink with thanks and Kaien circles the bench to sit down to her right, taking a small draft of his own.

Seeing him in the sunlight now, its plain to see he still possesses that same relaxed easy-going demeanor hiding a touch of lighthearted mischief, but she can see faint shadows looming under his eyes like though he hadn't had a good sleep in weeks. Then there's the scar carved into his throat bisected by the tattoo of Lady Miyako's name.

It summons forth memories of that night, but before Rukia can slip down that painful road -

"Rather adds some character, wouldn't ya say?" Kaien prompts teasingly, sensing her faltering mood, "The scar and the ink. If nothing else, it makes for a pretty snazzy profile shot if I do say so myself. It's a special kind of man who can get scarred like this and come out the other side even more handsome for it."

"I'm sorry..." Rukia begins, the words come tumbling out in a sudden burst of emotion, the guilt of these decades fueling her need to repent for that grave sin. "It's my fault. All of it. If I'd only been stronger, I could've-"

"Don't you dare think that. Not for one second, Rukia," Kaien admonishes her sternly, he rubs the back of his neck with a heavy sigh, "The second Nejibana disintegrated I should've realized it was a trap from the start. But being the stubborn ass I am, I carried on, too consumed by rage and grief to see the blindingly obvious. I was the idiot who jumped in all for vengeance. I made the foolish mistakes that got me killed. No one else, and certainly not you. Don't you dare take ownership over my stupidity."

Rukia's grip on her cup tightened.

Kaien gives her a light bump on the shoulder, "But hey, if I ever get it into my head to do anything that moronic again, feel free to drag me aside and bash my brains in. In fact, consider it a standing order."

"But-" Rukia blurts, then hesitates, "I was a coward. I should've stood my ground and fought, but I ran. I ran and ran, from the Captain, from your clan, from... from everyone. No matter how far I went, I didn't think that sin would ever go away, no matter how many years passed. I-"

"For cryin' out loud, enough." Kaien cuts her off firmly, irritably, "Rukia, disregarding whatever divine prank or miracle or whatever you want to call it that brought me back, in that situation, there was no way I could've been saved. The Captain ordered you to do it - I begged you to do it. And if you hadn't, the Hollow would've rampaged using my body to destroy the things I loved and cherished most. The fact you expect anything other than gratitude for trying to preserve my dignity honestly baffles me."

He frowns at her with a disappointment that makes Rukia shrink a little, "I thought you knew me."

Further protests die on her tongue, Rukia simply stares down at her drink in silence.

"In my mind you're the most innocent party in that entire drama. The only person who should and needs to apologize is me, for getting you involved in that mess in the first place. My stubbornness caused you pain and I know it couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry. I don't mind if you don't forgive me for it. Frankly I don't deserve it. But please find it somewhere in your heart of hearts to at least forgive yourself, okay?"

Rukia nods quietly.

Kaien heaves a sigh and his hand ruffles her hair gently, "But if you stubbornly insist upon calling mercy a sin, we'll be sinners together then."

When she looks up at him with wide eyes, he offers a soft smile. "Not that its a competition or anything, but between the two of us I think mine's slightly more egregious."

What Rukia does next feels like the most natural thing in the world, she throws her arms around Kaien in a tight hug.

She doesn't see it, but she knows the Lieutenant's rolling his eyes at her even as he returns the embrace with a dry chuckle, "Yup, still a crybaby."

"Keep calling me a crybaby and I'll have to show you just how strong I've become." Rukia half-warns, pulling away and brushing the tears out of her eyes with the back of her hand.

Kaien chuckles once, "I'll look forward to it."

Rukia draws in a fortifying breath, taking a sip of her hot chocolate and finding it to her liking. It feels just like old times, sitting with Kaien and watching the world pass them by.

"Feel like we cleared the air?" Kaien prompts with a smile.

Rukia nods slowly, feeling lighter than she had in the decades since that terrible night so long ago. "Yeah... yes, it does."

"Good. Glad to hear it. Stop letting that crap weigh you down, that's an order. There's plenty of rubbish that demands our attention right now."

Rukia chuckles lightly before her mood sours. A minute later, the most pressing question comes to the forefront of her mind but Kaien's intuitive skills are as sharp as ever and he preempts her questions.

"That last night, my physical body began crumbling right after the battle and when you'd informed the Shiba house about my death, my spirit shattered completely. Next thing I know, I've woken up in Hueco Mundo's acrid deserts." Kaien explains, toying with the lid of his takeaway cup.

"I can't believe it. How is that even possible?" Rukia inquires.

"That Hollow was one of Aizen's experiments. Every time it was destroyed, it was designed to recall to Hueco Mundo and reconstitute itself. I'm guessing Aizen constructed it that way so he could examine the results and make improvements to the next iteration. However, since the hollow had fused with me, the regeneration restored my physical form. Up until that point, that was probably exactly as they predicted. But for whatever reason, the one in control of my spirit was me. Then, after spending a year tracking through that god forsaken desert, I managed to tumble into the human world through a Garganta. That's when I was taken in by Kisuke and the others."

Rukia absorbed this grimly.

"Basically, I guess, my iron willpower was beyond their calculations and conquered even death itself!" Kaien laughs triumphantly to himself, "What can I say; I really am built different, aren't I?"

Rukia blinks then scowls, "Lieutenant, I thought this was supposed to be a serious conversation!"

Kaien flinches, returning with a pout, "Okay, yeah, but can we pretend that's what happened?"

"Tell me. Please." Rukia pleads.

Kaien levels a scrutinizing eye her way, examining her for a long minute before huffing. "... Fine. But only if you promise me you won't blame yourself for anything I'm about to tell you."

Rukia hesitated. "I won't."

Kaien gives her a thoroughly unimpressed look, "Rukia, you wear guilt like its a goddamn fashion statement. Everything that happened to me over the last six decades was my fault, not yours. And the only person to blame for it is my own idiot self. We clear on that?"

"Crystal." Rukia says and she hopes Kaien doesn't detect the trace of a lie. He might've done, given the stink eye he'd given her in return but it doesn't stop him.

"As long as we have an understanding..." Kaien exhales quietly, shoulders slumping before taking a sip of his coffee to buy himself time before he answers. He inhales a steadying breath, "Pretty much as soon as I'd regained consciousness in Hueco Mundo, I started puking up white reishi. Hollowfied on the spot. After that, it's kinda like I was trapped in a semi-lucid nightmare. At some point not long after, some miserable excuse of an Arrancar with a fish-tank head decided a Shinigami would make for a delightful snack and tried to eat me."

Kaien shudders at that memory, playing out his revulsion for effect, "The less said about Aaro-whatsit, the better. First; because... ew. Second; he had passengers... a lot of them. Which I disgustingly inherited for a time. And for the better part of a year, there was a whole bunch of screaming voices in my head. Honestly felt like I was going mad with that cacophony. Probably did go insane for a little while there, come to think of it."

Rukia... doesn't know what to say. What can she say? Its absolutely horrendous, and -

"I got over it." Kaien says dismissively, like it was no more hassle than a garden variety cold.

Rukia balks, "Going insane?"

"Yeah." He responds breezily, followed up by a shrug.

Rukia stares at him incredulously,

"I get it. It's harrowing and terrible and a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy; wouldn't even wish it upon Aizen and he's the smarmy bastard who put me through that in the first place. But when you've been stuck like that for a full year, or near about, and you can't do anything about it; you kinda skate past caring altogether."

Kaien pauses only to take a sip of his drink, "There's a threshold where horror plateaus out and becomes tedious. Insanity isn't much different and human movies tend to make it appear and sound waaay more exciting than it actually is. Imagine being forced to sit in one spot for a year; you can't move, you can't speak, and the only view you have is an endless monochrome night desert with the very occasional crag and a surround sound army of screaming hollows. That's basically what it was like. At one point, I gotten so bored I started trying to pick out the different voices and make up stupid names for them just to pass the time."

Kaien finishes off with another irreverent shrug, "Ignominy aside, it was dreadfully dull."

Rukia suddenly wishes her hot chocolate was something far, far stronger for this conversation.

"Um... how to put this as delicately as I possibly can; are we sure you're not still a bit-?"

"Batshit crazy?"

"I was going to go with loopy, but, yeah, if you prefer."

"I'm open to third party opinions."

Rukia's head hurts, "O-Okay then, if you were hollowfied in Hueco Mundo, explain to me how you ended up in the human world working with the Visoreds? You know, they're, well... criminals."

An angry sneer, the angriest Rukia has ever seen, flashes across his face for a second and it halts Rukia in her tracks, feeling a twinge of regret even asking the question.

The wrath is not directed at her specifically and that's the only reason why she doesn't quietly let the subject drop, even if her tone does noticeably falter. "I just don't see you falling in with that kind of crowd easily. Unless there's something else I'm missing, which... its safe to assume there definitely is."

"Rukia, you're an intelligent young woman. You should know there's always three sides to every story; their side, our side and the truth. No one's an exception."

"So what happened? Obviously you managed to regain control of yourself and you can use a Hollow mask at will." Rukia asks, then grimaces, "I presume there's only 'you' in there."

"Oh yeah, I can happily report the only voices in my head are my own," Kaien confirms, "Given one of those voices is Nejibana? Jury's out on whether or not that's a good thing."

Rukia ignores the self-deprecating quip. She's finds exactly nothing about this situation humorous, even as Kaien's trying to play up his usual antics to soften the blow (Not comforting, she has to say).

"Then I presume the Visoreds were somehow involved in freeing you and you're working with them to pay off your debt; right now, that's the only thing that makes sense from my point of view."

Kaien's lips curl up in a sad indulgent smile, "I think if I explain this much, you'll understand the rest. Might even be able to piece it together yourself. For starters, I'll correct you on one assumption; I'm not paying off any kind of debt. On the contrary, they're the people I've been trying to save since the very beginning."

Rukia frowns up at him while Kaien sips his drink. "Save them? From what?"

Kaien straightens up, "A century ago, eight offices volunteered for Kisuke Urahara's Hollowfication experiments and were subsequently driven out of Seireitei and the Soul Society on pain of death. Kisuke was branded a high traitor along with Tessai and Yoruichi. That's the official story. Central 46 penned it, made it law, the Captain-Commander seconded it, sicced the Omnitsukido on the Visoreds' tail and called it a day."

"Everyone knows that. Special Order Thirty-Two." Rukia acknowledges, "It's a standing order. We're supposed to execute such officers on sight because of the danger they pose to Soul Society."

"That's true. Though, right now, I'd consider it a kindness if you didn't. One jump off the mortal coil was enough for me, thanks." Kaien jests, Rukia frowns at him in response.

"It's all bullshit." Kaien tells her bluntly, "That entire thing was an experiment performed by Aizen and he'd framed Kisuke Urahara when he was discovered. The truth is Kisuke was doing his damnedest to help, if not return the officers to normal then at least stabilize their conditions. But due to some reckless yet necessary decisions on his part, it left Aizen the perfect opportunity to frame Kisuke and the others while he came out smelling like a rose."

Rukia processes this. It sounds plausible enough. "Not that I don't trust your word Kaien, but how do you know that for sure?"

"Because I knew the victims before everything went down. If not personally, I knew of them. They would never willingly submitted themselves to anything as unconscionable as that. Not in a million years." Kaien tells her solemnly.

Rukia takes this in with a slow nod, mulling over the implications.

"Aaaand 'cause I broke into Aizen's private lab and stole a bunch of copies of his research notes." He adds casually as an afterthought.

Rukia's head whips around so fast its a wonder she didn't get a crick in her neck. "You what?"

Kaien goes on, ignoring the disbelieving look Rukia was giving him, "You see, I was pretty friendly with two of the officers in question, and familiar with the rest, either from Lieutenant meetings or in passing. One of them was my former Captain; I did a brief stint at the Fifth after I graduated before transferring to the Thirteenth. I told you that before, didn't I?"

Rukia nods encouragingly, "And the other officer, a fellow Lieutenant, was and still is my best friend. I mean, she's the one who introduced me to Miyako in the first place. So yeah, we're pretty damn close."

Kaien leans forward, his expression the most severe Rukia had ever seen this entire conversation.

"With half the Gotei 13's command class disappeared in one night, and no one willing to question a damn thing about it? Snowball's chance in hell I was content to shut up and swallow the party line. I refused to believe that these loyal men and women, my friends who'd served for centuries, were traitors. There was no damn way. I demanded an investigation. First as a Lieutenant, then as Head of the Shiba clan. Got stonewalled at every turn. Don'tcha just love politics? Eventually I'd ruffled enough feathers Captain Ukitake ordered me to stand down, but I'd refused..."

Kaien pauses, his gaze lowering as though deeply ashamed of himself, "It's about only real fight we'd ever had. Ripped into each other so bad he'd almost dismissed me on the spot."

Rukia recoils as if struck, "You and the Captain? I-I rarely ever saw you two have so much as a disagreement. For you to fight like that, its..."

Kaien simply shook his head, "He was trying to protect me. Looking back, I really can't say I blame him in the slightest. Everyone knows now, but in case it needs stating, Aizen has a nasty tendency to jump to the scorched earth option when others suspected him of something untoward. And an equally mean way of twisting those situations to his advantage. Look at the Shiba clan if you don't believe me."

Rukia's heart sinks. She'd given a thought to telling her Lieutenant about his beloved family and feels a new prang of sympathy for his situation. Cut off from Soul Society and unable to return even if he wanted to, he wasn't able to protect them from whatever political conspiracies cast them from grace.

It must've been agony.

Kaien spares a glance towards Rukia, "After seeing how Captain Kyoraku reacted to losing his Lieutenant, Captain Ukitake didn't want to lose me either. But, well, you know exactly how stubborn I can get when my mind's made up, and I don't ditch my friends when they're in trouble. That's just how I am."

He continues, stronger now. "So I took my investigation off the books. Poked around where I could while doing my best to make sure it looked like I'd actually followed my orders and dropped the matter."

"Gotta love that bitter irony," Kaien huffs with a forlorn smile, "I spent forty years skulking about trying to find out something, anything, to bring my friends back home safely. When I finally found what I needed, I ended up getting my wife killed then was murdered myself before I could do anything with it. In the end, the very friends I'd desperately wanted to save were the ones to save me instead. Talk about a real kick in the teeth, huh?"

Its an elaborate tale to be sure, and the sad part is Rukia had no trouble believing it. "If you were in Hueco Mundo all that time, how'd they find you?"

Kaien explains, "It's like I said before. My hollowfied body somehow tripped into a Garganta and found its way into the living world. Kisuke captured me with the Visoreds' help. Brought me to a secure location thinking I was some new experiment Aizen was conducting with a mind to preempt any damage before it got out of hand. And, in some respects, he was right."

"The other Visoreds objected. Vehemently. And if they hadn't recognized this, they'd have killed me on the spot." Kaien pulls back his left sleeve demonstratively, revealing his trademark Shiba clan tattoo but Rukia can spot the hints of web-like scars coiling out from the underside of his wrist, too.

"Even then, it was a close run thing. They had no idea if there was anything left of 'me' to save."

Rukia feels sick, "But they did manage to save you in the end."

"Yeah, that's one word for it; salvaged is another." Kaien corrects morosely, "But after they'd succeeded in prying me from that mess with the scientific and kido equivalent of a crowbar, they nursed me back to health. I've been travelling with them ever since, training with my Hollowfication and in other respects. We've been in hiding, and now that Aizen's revealed his true colours, we're understandably itching for a slice of vengeance ourselves."

It's a lot to take in, and contemplating it disgusts Rukia. But its pity for her Lieutenant that occupies the forefront of her thoughts. To be so close to his goal, only to have it snatched away and then cast out, losing everything in the process, with no one even the wiser. It must've been something akin to hell, knowing he couldn't contract his family or friends either.

The world moved on and believed Kaien Shiba dead, when he was only tragically out of reach.

"The Captain will want to hear about this, about you." Rukia announces at last, her brain finally clicking into gear and remembering her original orders. "If what you say is true and you have the proof, he needs to know. Especially if it helps get you back home."

Kaien glances at the Denreishinki in her hand, then to Rukia. Her expression softens, "More than anything... I think he'd like to hear your voice."

"You went against my express orders and investigated Aizen on your own, didn't you?" Jushiro Ukitake states it more as a fact than an accusation.

Immediately, he wants to chastise himself especially since he's not usually prone to such tactlessness.

Sixty years since he'd spoken to his believed-to-be-dead Lieutenant, actively spoken with the man, not eavesdropped on conversations through the combat pass, and that this was the first thing he asks? It chaffs at him.

Ukitake wants to sit down with him and have a good long talk, wants to listen to his story these past sixty years, anything and everything Kaien would be willing to share. First and foremost, he wants to apologise for allowing - no, for forcing the man stand alone and... well, there's numerous things Ukitake wants to express in this moment; his pride, joy, relief, consternation. All of it.

But unfortunately, there are more pressing matters to attend to, and there was a job that needs doing.

Such a personal conversation wouldn't be appropriate, especially with Kiyone and Sentaro hovering at his shoulder as overzealous sentries.

But Ukitake consoles himself. This is another step in the right direction. If things went smoothly (they rarely do in his experience, but Ukitake is nothing if not cautiously optimistic), then they'll have their Lieutenant and the other exiles home before long.

When Kaien answers him, its with steel in his voice. "Aizen hollowfied Lisa. Shinji too. My friends, Captain. With all due respect, in what reality did you truly expect me to let that go?"

A grim melancholy settles over Ukitake and his eyes closed with a quiet exhale, feeling that regret come back in full force. "No. You wouldn't have. And I was foolish to have believed otherwise. I'm sorry. I should have helped you when you'd asked me, there's no telling how much we could've avoided if I had."

"We can't change anything about it now, can we? Besides, weren't you always the one teaching me never to let regret weigh me down? That clinging to it poisons the soul?" His one-time Lieutenant admonishes him lightly, "Doesn't exactly strike me as fair if you don't practice what you preach, Captain."

Ukitake's lips curl into a smile with an old yet familiar mix of fondness and exasperation he hadn't felt in years. "You've not changed in the slightest, have you?"

"Not in the ways that count I'd like to think."

The Captain is stern once more, "Over the course of your investigation, what did you discover?"

"Damn near everything Captain; the Hollowfication experiments on Lisa and the others, framing Urahara, manufacturing weird prototype Arrancar-esque creatures, and something called the Hogyoku." Kaien listed off, "At the time, I'd assumed the Hyogoku was some kind of weapon Aizen developed, but I've since been better informed by Kisuke Urahara on that count. Regardless, all of it was... I honestly don't have words to describe it. Horror's pretty weak if I'm being perfectly honest."

Ukitake's staggered by the pronouncement, but also marvels at his Lieutenant's investigative prowess. He presses on, "Why didn't you bring this to me?"

They hear Kaien give a hefty sigh, hints of anger simmering in his tone, "I would have, but someone presented me with my wife's hollow-possessed corpse first. A man tends not to think too rationally after something like that. And... none of us need a reminder about how that travesty ended."

"Indeed." Ukitake agrees, rubbing his temple against an oncoming headache. "And given that rather spectacular timing, I presume its reasonable to believe Aizen had a hand in plotting that mission as well. Yours and Miyako's."

"Frankly Captain, my default has been to blame Aizen for everything gone wrong this century until we find evidence otherwise." Kaien confesses flatly and Ukitake has to suppress a chuckle.

Kukaku Shiba expressed the same sentiment. Siblings, indeed.

"Captain, I realise its a shot in the dark but do you remember those books I kept in my office? The ones you always asked after?" Kaien prompts, a fractional wavering in his tone implied a measure of wariness.

Ukitake straightens up instantly, yes. He remembers the tomes. In one of the conversations they'd heard through the combat pass, Kaien mentioned whatever he'd found was recorded in those pages.

"Your so-called journals, yes. I've handed them off to your sister, Kukaku." Ukitake reveals. "I've asked for her assistance in deciphering the clues you've left behind."

"Good." Kaien responds, "She'd be the one to figure it out, and she's the only one who'd be able access where I'd stored those notes anyway."

Ukitake's lip curls into a treacherous half-smile, "Her caveat, however, is that you're the one to present that information to the Captain-Commander and Central 46."

"Of course it is." Kaien chuckles ruefully, "What can I say? Little sisters are stubborn creatures, mine especially so."

"You sound tired." Ukitake notes grimly.

"Its been a long century. I think we've all keen to see this nightmare come to an end." Kaien replies distantly,

"On that, we can most certainly agree." Ukitake concurs.

"Look Captain, I realise I can't serve the way I did before but I'm going to do everything I can from my side to support the Vanguard here. So much as it's tolerated for someone like me. Ichigo Kurosaki too, for reasons I think are blatantly obvious." Kaien informs him, "If you could find some way to convince the Captain-Commander to at least overturn Special Order Thirty-Two, I'd be able to operate more openly."

"We're working on it, Kaien." Ukitake reassures him, "For you, and for the others. We'll bring you all home safely. I promise." His lips quirk up in a slanted half-smile, "Besides, if the Thirteenth heard you were still alive, I don't think they'd settle for anything less than you resuming your role as their Lieutenant. I'd be so bold as to claim we'd have a city-wide riot on our hands if you refused."

Kaien actually laughs, its a drawn but rich sound. "Well, when you put it that way; I guess I have no choice but to come back."

"For now, keep yourself out of trouble... as much as possible, I should say." Ukitake tells him, "I've asked Kuchiki to assist you where she can. If you need to contact us for any discreet matters, she'll be able to arrange it."

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll keep my head down, Captain." Kaien confirms.

Ukitake begins almost as an afterthought, "And Kaien? Your fervor and dedication to your duty is always admirable, but please follow my orders this time."

That definitely earned a side-splitting laugh from all of them, "Yes sir."

Author's note:

Yay! Reunions all around. Orihime's the PoV character next time. And in case I don't see you all before then, have a merry christmas and safe holiday!

Edit: Clearing up confusion. The scar on the underside of Kaien's arm is where Meta infested him.

Edit: 18/01/2023 - swapped chapters 22 & 23 to better fit continuity.

Edited: 25/4/2023 - Cleaned up the chapter's grammatical errors and spruced up the language a little.

Regards,
Aurora313