Frank sat back in his recliner and flipped the channels. There was nothing interesting on at this time of night, besides the news and other entertainment shows that were waiting for the clock to strike to midnight. It was New Years Eve and Frank's usual plans on this day were to have a nice dinner with his daughter at a restaurant in uptown before retreating back to Bay Ridge around ten thirty and going to bed. For some reason, sleep wasn't finding him tonight and he was up still at eleven fifteen hoping to find something to entertain him.
Back when Mary was alive, they enjoyed celebrating the holiday, even though it was only the two of them when their kids got older and started making plans of their own. He would assist Mary in making a nice dinner before they would end the night sitting next to the fire place with a glass of their good wine and discussing the highs and lows of their year. It was a special time that couldn't be replicated and he looked forward to it every year. After Mary passed away, the excitement of the new year simmered down and it just became another day to him.
The holidays were significantly harder since Mary's death. He had solace in his children but nothing had ever been the same since. He'd been invited to other gatherings throughout the last few years by his children for the new year but they were never as fun as being with Mary. Danny and the boys usually had dinner and did their own celebration at their house, Erin went to a friend's party after having dinner with him, Henry usually went to dinner with some old pals and stayed out on the town until midnight, and Jamie and Eddie's plans were different each year.
He found it easier being on his own on New Years. He'd rather let his children go out and have fun. He didn't want to be a downer to them but his daughter was actually the one who was always insistent on him going out with her for dinner every year. He would never put up too much of a fight though, finding it comforting how much Erin worried for him during this day.
He looked at the time again and saw that it was close to eleven thirty. He stood up and went to the sitting room, pulling a chair up in front of the fireplace to get started on it. He smiled to himself as he remembered Mary's words to him every year as she would watch him make the fire, "Not too hot, dear. We don't need the fire department to make another visit out here." It was always a running joke between them since the first time they celebrated the holiday as empty nesters, the fire had gotten slightly out of control and on Mary's insistence, they had to call the fire department. It was a quite an embarrassing moment for Frank but eventually, they were able to laugh about it.
When Mary got sick, things drastically changed for them. His wife got tired very easily due to her deteriorating condition and wasn't able to tolerate much of anything even though she tried hard. Their outings together usually didn't last very long and toward the end, she spent most of her days in bed. During that time, a small part of him missed the life they used to have. He never voiced it to anyone but for some reason, his wife knew.
"It's okay, Frank," she said quietly, finding his hand in the darkness of their bedroom and clutching it tight as he sat at her bedside during their last New Years together. "It's okay to miss that part of our life. Don't be afraid to admit it. I miss it too… more than y'all ever know."
More than a decade had passed since Mary's death and the wound in his heart was still fresh like it happened yesterday. Suddenly, he felt tears brimming in his eyes. It had been awhile since he'd cried but tonight, it felt justified. People say time heals but he'll be the first to call them liars. The loss felt more profound each year but he did find it slightly easier to live with it.
He was able to get the fire started quickly. He sat back and watched it for a long moment. Then, a small smile brushed up on his face. He felt Mary's presence in the room and suddenly had a feeling of peace wash over him.
"Thank you for keeping our children and grandchildren safe for another year, sweetheart," he said gently. "It's all I ask for again this year. Make sure they can all make it to Sunday dinner each week. There's nothing more that I need than that."
He sat for a few minutes enjoying the warmth of the fire before sleep started to creep up on him. As he felt himself start to doze off, he suddenly heard the front door open and a slew of footsteps through the house.
"Dad?" he suddenly heard. "Are you here?"
He turned his head to find his youngest son and daughter-in-law dressed in their finest. Seeing them together always made him nostalgic, reminding him of when he and Mary were young.
He smiled brightly, "Hey you two. What are you doing here at this time of night?"
"We were hoping that you wouldn't mind having two more join you tonight," Jamie said.
"We brought cake and merlot," Eddie added as she held up a bag in her hand.
"You know that you two are always welcome," he replied with a smile, gesturing to the two chairs that were on the other side of the room.
Jamie pulled the two chairs up for him and his wife to sit next to Frank.
"What made you two want to come all the way over here?" Frank asked as they sat down. "I'm sure you could've found better plans than to hang out with this old man."
"Trust me Frank," Eddie began. "You're way better company than the people we had originally planned to hang out with. Now..." she pulled the cake box out of the bag and showed it off to them. "... who wants some?"
Frank and Jamie both raised their hands. Eddie smiled happily and hurried off to the kitchen.
"I hope we didn't interrupt anything, Dad," Jamie said. "I know it's late. Our plans didn't sound too appealing to us as we made our way over there. It was actually Eddie's idea to come over to join you."
"You didn't interrupt anything, son. You actually made your old man very happy tonight."
"Well I'm glad to hear that," he replied. "Maybe we could make this a yearly thing between the three of us? I know you don't go out to the parties or anything like that but I think something like this is just as great."
Frank gave a soft smile, "I would really love that. Thank you, son."
Jamie smiled back at his father before Eddie returned with slices of cake for everyone. They sat around the fireplace, drank some wine and reminisced as they counted down to the new year.