Chapter 4 - Processing
Jon quickly learned that being grounded didn't mean he couldn't go outside, and it didn't mean he had PT or extra chores, at least not this time. It didn't change his sleeping or eating routines, and it didn't give him extra school work. When Sam had said he was just grounded from his phone and from basketball, he'd meant it.
On one level, it made no sense. This was one of the worst things Jon had ever done under Sam's care. But based on the tone of voice Jon overheard when Sam was on the phone telling Lois what had happened, Jon had to wonder if Sam was sort of proud of him. Maybe it was because he'd been honest. Or maybe it was just because Sam thought Jon was finally comfortable enough to test him a little—which was sort of true, though Jon never, ever would have snuck out if he thought he was going to be caught.
It seemed crazy to Jon that the punishment for each infraction he committed was less severe than what he'd gotten for the one before it, but he wasn't going to complain. Aside from that, Jon figured it was still effective. He really, really didn't want to go behind Sam's back again. It wasn't because of fear; he was just overwhelmed by love.
That also meant that by the time they loaded up and headed out to go visit the Kents the following weekend, he was actually in a good mood. He and Sam had spent part of the afternoon making a pie based on one of Martha Kent's old recipes, they played music on the radio on the drive, and Sam was smiling most of the way there.
It was a much cooler evening than the night Jon and Jonathan had spent on the lake the week before, but the Kent house was warm and smelled like pot roast. Lois greeted them at the door and hugged both of them, and Jon wandered into the kitchen as Lois and Sam caught up and Jonathan and Jordan set the table. Jon hesitantly sat down on the couch, content to be a part of the family even if he wasn't sure exactly what his place in it was.
Clark came into the living room and sat beside him. "A month, huh?"
Jon nodded, though his stomach twisted in knots. It had been roughly a month since Sam had told him he loved him and brought him back into his home, yes, but also a month since he'd been kicked out and left to cry in the rain. A month since Sam had called him a lost cause and said Jon was nothing to him.
Things were a lot better now. The words hurt a lot less. But they'd still been said.
"Everything okay, Jon L?"
Jon made himself smile and nod. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
Clark raised his eyebrows. "You wanna try saying that a little more convincingly?"
Jon swallowed. "I dunno. I'm happy I get to be with Sam. It's . . . I . . . I dunno."
Clark frowned. "He's treating you well?"
"Maybe too well."
"Good. Hasn't said anything hurtful?"
"Uh, just that he was disappointed once. But, you know, that was when I snuck out in the boat."
"Mind if I asked how he handled that?"
Jon felt his cheeks grow hot. He appreciated what Clark was doing, but it was really embarrassing. "Took my phone and basketball for a week."
"That's all?"
"Yeah." Jon felt sick to his stomach, but he needed to know. "Can I ask what you did to Jonathan?"
Clark hesitated. Jon knew it wasn't for him to ask about, but Clark had asked him a personal question, too; he could see all of that running through Clark's mind.
"You don't have to," Jon said.
"He's grounded for three weeks," Clark said.
Jon didn't ask what that meant, but he had a feeling it was more than a couple of minor restrictions.
"But he's okay," Clark added.
Jon nodded. He didn't really know what to say.
He didn't end up having to respond. Lois called them in for dinner, and the table filled with stories as they all talked about their week. Jon remained silent, and Jordan snuck a few glances at him. Jon wasn't sure what the look on his face meant.
He offered to help with dishes after the meal, but as usual, Lois wouldn't let him; she said it was her night for it. Instead, he wandered out into the living room with the guys.
"Wanna go play a game?" Jordan asked.
Jon looked behind him at Jonathan, only to realize Jordan was talking to him. "Wait, all three of us?" Jon asked.
"Not me. I'm grounded," Jonathan said.
"Are you grounded?" Jordan asked Jon.
Jon shifted his weight. "Uh...not from video games, I don't think."
"You should check."
Jon winced, but he went into the kitchen, where Clark and Sam were talking while clearing the table.
Sam caught Jon's eye and walked over to him. "You okay, my boy?"
"Just...Uh, I can't play video games, right?"
"Why not?"
"Because...grounded..."
"Go play."
"Really?"
Sam nodded.
Jon wanted to throw his arms around him. He settled for a grin and a quick, "Thanks," before going to let Jordan know.
Upstairs, Jon and Jordan sat side by side on the bed, flying fighter jets. The last time they'd been here without Jonathan between them, they'd ended up throwing punches. He hoped they were past that.
He wasn't sure why they were past that.
Jon took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
Jon breathed in, then changed his mind at the last second and asked something else he had started to wonder. "Is your dad...kind of a hardass?"
Jordan shook his head. "He's fair. He wasn't always..."
"Oh."
Jordan smirked. "Why? Granddad giving you trouble?"
"I think he's too easy on me."
"Are you talking about you and Jon stealing the boat?"
"Yeah," Jon admitted, though he hadn't realized Jordan even knew any details about that. He should have known Jonathan would tell him; they were close.
Jordan shrugged. "Wasn't the same thing. Jon pushed you into doing it and lied to Granddad."
It wasn't how he'd expected Jordan would react. "He was grounded for three times longer than me. And his grounding is worse than mine."
"Okay."
"Well . . . if I'd been the one who invited him, do you think it would have been switched?"
"Probably not."
"You don't think I'm getting treated differently?"
"Yeah, you are. You're a different person."
Jon cleared his throat and finally worked up the courage to say what he'd wanted to say. "Why'd you change your mind about me?"
Jordan's fingers stopped on the controller. He stared at his game until his plane crashed, and the game stopped. "I broke Jon's wrist once."
Jon's jaw dropped.
"And Jon did X-K for a while. And Dad hit him. Mom didn't help. Granddad helped Jon, but he kicked you out."
"What does that have to do with me?"
"We've all messed up pretty bad. Figured you fit in."
Jon couldn't stop himself from smiling a little at that.
"Can I ask you something?" Jordan asked.
"Yeah."
"What's it like to not have powers?"
Whatever Jon had been expecting, it wasn't that. "I mean, didn't you used to...not have them?"
"You know what I mean."
Jon looked down. "It's like I'm blind and deaf and lost my legs. But...there's nothing I want to see or hear, and nowhere I want to walk."
Jordan finally looked up at him.
Jon blinked, shifting his weight. He hadn't meant to be quite that honest. "I haven't been able to...I dunno, process stuff, I guess."
"Like what stuff?"
"Like losing my powers, and my family, and my whole planet, and..." His voice caught.
Jordan didn't say anything. Just listened.
Jon blinked a few times. "Sorry."
"For what?"
"For, I dunno. Getting emotional."
"Dude, you need therapy."
"Right."
"No, seriously. Are you going to therapy?"
"I don't...I mean..." Jon remembered Clark mentioning something about therapy, but he couldn't imagine there was a therapist who would take him on.
"You should talk to Granddad about that."
He didn't want to try to negotiate that with Sam. Besides, he didn't know what he would even say to a therapist, or how it could possibly help. "I don't want to bother him..."
"If you don't, I will."
Jon sighed. He almost preferred it when Jordan hated him.