New Isn't Always Better
'Some things were better in the Old Days...' I found myself thinking.
Like seriously! Back in my day (Forefather, I sound old...), I could just walk into a village and go 'Where the monsters at?' and people would point them out to me and BAM! I'd smash, crack, split, 'RIP AND TEAR', or zap them open and then we'd all be feasting on whatever offerings were made or whatever I killed!
But NOoOOoo... Now there are these 'rules' and 'regulations' and 'protocols' and 'licenses' mortals 'need' to kill these 'new' 'monsters' that barely have any FUCKING SUBSTANCE TO THEM!!!
Honestly! Zeus's newborn cubs would make better sport than like ninety-nine point ninety-nine repeating fucking percent of the time!
I'm sorry. That was unkind of me. Let me introduce myself.
I am Jounn the Storm-King, Protector of the Mortal Realm, Remnant's ancient God of Storm and Sea. Mightiest Under The Deep Magic, and Second only to the King of the Wood and His Father, The Emperor Over the Sea, The Forefather, Eru. Or, if you prefer my 'modern' name, Jaune Arc.
Yes, that Jaune Arc. The Dork Knight. Vomit Boy. The Weakest. The 'Hopeless Loser Who Can't Do Anything Right'. The guy who has just about had it, coddling all these 'students' by pretending to be some pathetic failure and throwing all his fights in combat class.
Look at it from my perspective...
My memory is a bit fuzzy about how I got stuck in this mess.
One moment I'm defending mortals from eldritch abominations with Zeus, my hound, and the next thing I know it's literal ages and I suddenly am labelled as 'not real' and just a 'fairytale'. And my sacred beasts, the Zinogre, are just animals to be captured and cut-up to be 'studied' by so-called 'scientists' in Atlas!
And now, here I am, allowing myself to be made a mockery of by the very beings my entire purpose is to protect, and stuck in this 'Academy' wearing these uncomfortable clothes called a 'uniform' and this infernal, useless, waste, of fabric called a 'tie'. And I'll be doing this for the next four years all so I can get some stupidly useless piece of plastic that says I can go back to doing what The Forefather made me to fucking do in the fucking first place!
You'd be pissed too!
I swear by the Lion... When I get my hands on Avo and Skorm, even Tash will feel pity for those bitch-made cowardly 'Brothers'...
I know they had something to do with this shitshow the world is now in...
I need something (anything!) to release at least some of my frustration on. And soon.
Causing thunderstorms is nice and all, but too many and I might accidentally wash Beacon away...
"Are you doing okay, Jaune? You've hardly touched your food..." A redheaded girl sitting next to me asked.
That's Pyrrha Nikos. As in the Pyrrha Nikos, the 'Invincible Girl'. Or as many mortals like to foolishly call her, 'The Goddess of Victory'. Yeah, no. She's as mortal as the rest of you guys. Though she is as tough as mortals come, I will say.
She's my 'partner' here at Beacon.
I like her well enough, seeing as she has many qualities I endorse. Pyrrha's kind, caring, intelligent, (again) tough as nails, and surprisingly humble. While she readily admits to being gifted, she doesn't like to rest on her laurels and act like she's better than everyone around her.
She's probably my biggest supporter, aside from Nora, who is another redhead on my team.
Unlike someone else at our table...
"Don't bother wasting your time with that dolt, Pyrrha. It's not going to do anyone any good..." A dainty, white-haired, girl sniffed dismissively.
That would be Weiss Schnee. Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company. An absolute holier-than-thou rich-bitch who, despite her diminutive size, looks down on everyone BUT Pyrrha. And even then, she only tries to associate with Pyrrha for her own personal gain.
She's also my biggest critic.
I honestly have no idea what it is that put me in her sights. Since day fucking one, Weiss has done nothing but belittle, and berate me at every opportunity. And when there isn't one, she makes it!
I swear, all I did was say 'hi' and ask for directions! I tried to be as friendly as possible!
But nope!
Immediately I'm subjected to constant verbal assault from her and any time I try to extend an olive branch for at least Ruby's (her partner, team leader, and our mutual friend) sake, she spits in my face, grabs said olive branch, and beats me over the head with it!
I can hear one ask 'Does she just hate men or something?'
No, actually. She doesn't, because she at least treats Ren (my final teammate) somewhat decently!
So why?!? Why does this bitch hate me so much?
At this point, I just try to avoid her as much as possible.
Okay, back to reality.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Pyr. Just not really hungry," I answered, not telling the whole truth.
She didn't buy it as her frown deepened.
"Is this about Cardin? Is he still bullying you?" She pressed, ignoring Weiss.
Cardin? I guess he's technically part of my problem and more or less the face of it...
"I'm fine. Really. And don't worry about Cardin messing with me. I can handle it. Why even bring him up anyways?" I deflected (admittedly rather poorly) before returning with my own question.
"Probably because you called him a pig in front of everyone in Oobleck's class today?" A bow wearing ravenette suggested with a light giggle.
That's Blake. Team RWBY's resident ninja, secret Faunus (Shhh! Nobody is supposed to know! Not even me!), silent beauty, tuna-lover, and avid reader of filth.
In public.
So yeah... She's a massive perv... It's always the quiet ones...
"Oh that's right... I did do that, didn't I?" I chuckled at the memory.
(-/Flash Back\-)
"I'm sorry professor-"
"Doctor!"
"Sorry, Doctor," I apologized again before continuing. "Could you please repeat the question? It's kind of hard to keep up with you..."
There was a round of snickers and giggles at my expense going around the classroom.
Ah history class. The most fascinating subject for me, but coincidentally the one I legitimately did my poorest in. Mostly because I've been out of the loop for the past couple dozen millennia or so, but also because our esteemed Dr. Bartholomew Oobleck is the world's fastest speed-talker who hardly ever doesn't slow down. Hence, why I spend almost every evening in the library hitting the books. Which, unsurprisingly, has earned the rather envious companionable friendship of one Blake Belladonna.
Believe it or not, she'll talk your ear off (Hah!) about Faunus history. And the wonders of tuna.
(Anyways, where was I?)
"Oh. Terribly sorry, Mr. Arc. My question was 'What led to the defeat of General Legume at Fort Castle'?" My teacher reinquired.
Oh! That's... Actually rather easy...
"Well," I started, "the short answer would be the Faunus's enhanced senses, their night-vision in particular. Forgetting this, General Legume Winchester decided to attack at night under the foolish belief that he could take them by surprise only to render his superior numbers meaningless in the face of being unable to see what they were doing and falling into the natural and man-made traps in the surrounding swamps. Which, inevitably led to his own capture, humiliation, and execution at the hands of Sergeant Lydia Scarlatina's forces."
"Very good mister Arc! It seems you have been studying!" Dr. Oobleck exclaimed.
"I've had a lot of catching up to do..." I admitted.
'I've also had quite a bit of help from Blake...'
I'll need to figure out a way to pay her back...
"Tch."
A dismissive tone sounded off behind me.
"Is there something you'd like to add, Mr. Winchester?"
Cardin Winchester, scion of the Winchester family, leader of Team CRDL (It's Cardinal, but I prefer curdle.), descendent of the disgraced General we were discussing, and all around douchebag.
He's also currently the distinguished owner of the world's most punchable face.
"All I know is that it's easier train animals more than people..." He remarked.
'If that were true, shouldn't you have your Huntsman Licence by now?'
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, ARC?!?"
Oh shit. Did I say that out loud? Eh, might as well double down.
"Sorry. Let me put it in terms you'll understand... Oink. Oink."
"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!!!"
(-/Flashback End\-)
"Jaune/Jaune-Jaune did that?!?" Nora and Ruby loudly exclaimed.
"Yep," confirmed Yang, Ruby's blonde older half-sister and Blake's partner.
"Never thought I'd see his face turn so red..." Blake was still giggling at the thought.
"Please, it was more of a piglet pink," I corrected.
"You're right, you're right!" Blake concurred, now laughing so hard she snorted.
That's right. Blake Belladonna snorted.
The table watched in silent disbelief (and betrayal on Yang's part) as Blake and I had a good laugh about how I roasted Cardin.
"Ow! That hurts! Please! Stop!" A sharp cry cut off the jovial laughter around our table.
A few tables away, we saw a cute bunny faunus getting her ears pulled by none other than Cardin himself. Accompanied by his team as they jeered and mocked the poor girl.
I recognized her as Velvet Scarlatina, a second year, and a descendent of Lydia Scarlatina, the Faunus sergeant responsibly for Cardin's ancestor's defeat.
Cardin probably knew this as well. He could certainly hold a grudge.
"To think we let people like him come here..." Ren muttered.
"Deplorable." Weiss dismissed. Whether she was talking about Cardin's behaviour, or Velvet's heritage, was beyond me.
"People like him are the reason the White Fang is a thing..." Pyrrha remarked.
"Must be tough, being a Faunus..." Yang lamented.
"Someone should do something..." Blake whispered.
Only Ruby and Nora (surprisingly) were quiet.
I looked around my table and back at the poor girl.
Then, I heard it.
'Help me...'
A cry for help.
'Please... Anyone...'
A prayer.
My mind was made up.
Why was I going easy on these jerks anyways?.
"You're right, Blake. Someone should do something," I conceded before standing up to go confront Cardin.
"Wh- Jaune? What do you think you're doing?" Pyrrha voiced her concern with a shake of surprise.
"Something stupid, obviously. If that moron wants another beating, that's his choice..." Weiss answered for me in her usual tone whenever talking about me.
But that was okay. The look on her face would be worth it. This was my purpose anyways.
"Break his legs, Fearless Leader!!!" Nora called out.
'Oh I'll do more than that. Today, I'll break his spirit.'
"Alright Cardin, that's enough," I said as I grabbed the bully's wrist and with a (by my standards) gentle squeeze, had him release his hold on Velvet's ears.
Seeing as how I wasn't ready to hurt him yet, I had applied just enough pressure so that he would feel some discomfort instead of pain.
A sigh of relief from the girl and the surprised look on Cardin's face was my reward.
I then released Cardin once I was sure I had everyone's attention.
"I get that her ears are super cute and fluffy looking," I continued. "But you gotta ask for permission before touching. They're probably super sensitive. That being said..."
I turned my attention to Cardin's latest victim. "Are you okay?" I asked, letting genuine concern color my voice.
She started before quickly and quietly nodded her head, trying to put on a brave face despite the pain I could see in her eyes. Poor thing couldn't even speak right now.
"Here, I have some ointment for pain relief and to take care of the swelling..." I offered up a small tin from my blazer's pocket.
"Th-thank you..." She stammered in a quiet voice, accepting my gift before blushing and racing off.
I returned my attention to a sour-faced Cardin and resumed speaking to him and his team.
"You guys do realize she's our senior by one year, right? She could probably whoop you three ways to Sunday if she felt like it. And even if she didn't, her leader is pretty damn protective of her. Does the name Coco Adel mean anything to you guys?"
The color drained from the rest of CRDL's faces as Cardin's own darkened.
Predictably, he was getting ready to punch me.
I slapped my forehead jokingly.
"Woops! Sorry! I forgot, you don't know what I'm saying! Oink oink, oinkoinkoink, oink-oink, oink."
That was the final straw before Cardin's fist sent me off to Dreamland. Or, ideally it would have were it not for the telltale glow of Prof. Goodwitch's Semblance stopping said fist mere inches from my face.
Right on time.
After a light scolding from our Vice Headmistress, I returned to my table and began to consume my (miraculously) still warm Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce and congratulatory pats on the back from Nora and Yang.
It's a good thing nobody noticed how I tanked said pats like they were casual ones from a normal human.
It would ruin the surprise in combat class later today...
(-/Line Break\-)
(Pyrrha's POV)
I was worried about Jaune.
No, it's not an act I put on to look good in fron of my fans. I really do care about Jaune.
Which wasn't unusual. It was perfectly normal to be worried about your best friend! Yes, Jaune Arc is my best (and first) real friend. He also happens to be the weakest fighter in the history of Beacon and has a habit of ending up in the infirmary at least once per week. Thankfully he heals ridiculously quickly. Even with the monstrous amount of Aura reserves he has, nobody should be able to heal as quickly as he does.
Especially when he doesn't even know how to properly use it!
How do I know that? Because I unlocked it for him during Initiation!!!
So when he volunteered to go into combat class willingly with Cardin (of all people), who, besides Weiss going full hardcore Tsundere on Jaune (I saw that snippet in your diary, bitch! Back off!) has made it his mission to make Jaune's life as miserable as possible, you could forgive me for thinking he hit his head a little too hard this morning.
All I could do was wait and watch as my precious blonde bean get battered around the ring again today...
Don't get me wrong! Jaune's actually fairly strong! And tough! (Seriously. It was genius of him to wear that onesie on the night before Initiation because if Yang saw the absolute unit that is Jaune underneath that warm and fuzzy exterior... I don't think I'd be calling him my partner right now... It's not my fault he leaves the bathroom door unlocked when he showers!!!) And actually frighteningly intelligent went coordinating our friend group when fighting together... But... It's like he has no idea what he's doing himself.
It's honestly quite painful watching all that potential just sitting there...
No.
I don't think I can keep watching this go on without interfering any longer.
Just as Cardin stepped onto the stage in his gear, I buried my face in my legs before Jaune arrived.
'I'm sorry Jaune... I can't watch...'
That was before Yang exclaimed a phrase I was hoping to never hear uttered from her about my Jaune...
"Holy Hell! Nora was right! Check out Mister Muscles!"
Instantly, I shot up ramrod straight to feast my eyes upon the Holy Land.
'I'm sorry Jaune! But I can't resist!'
There was an uproar in our class as students began cheering and waving loudly at the spectacle before them.
I think I saw Blake literally throwing money at the stage 'making it rain' lien.
No. Wait. Those are tuna can coupons for various local supermarkets...
And there he was. Jaune Arc wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. The rock solid muscles of his body rippled under his smooth skin with every step he took. He held nothing but his fist.
The only other article of clothing he wore was some sort of pendant I couldn't make out from here.
"Sooo... Scraggly, huh?" Yang ribbed a very quiet Weiss who was currently doing her best 'gasping fish' impression. I think I saw a fly go in there...
Her mouth slammed shut before regaining her senses.
"This changes nothing!" She declared fiercely with a face redder than my hair.
"Come on! Ruby! Back me up here!" Yang turned to her younger sister who was currently blushing up a storm while not taking her eyes off the young man down below. "Huh? Yeah. Sure... Scraggly... Whatever..." She muttered in a noncommittal way.
Then Yang turned her attention towards me with a malicious grin.
Uh-oh...
"Pyrrha, you sly girl! You've been holdin' out on us! Now why have you been keeping all that juicy manmeat to yourself?"
My only answer was a tiny squeak of terror as the rest of Team RWBY turned their smoldering eyes towards me.
Even Nora and Ren has turned to me.
'Why Jaune?!? Whhhyyy????!!!!????'
AND SCENE!!!
And there we have it folks, chapter one of "The Hammer of Heaven" !!! A story starring a barbaric Storm God version of Jaune!
For frame of reference, I will be pulling a lot of Jaune's characteristics from Marvel's Thor and God of War's Kratos.
Credit for the Zinogre goes to Monster Hunter and IronGiant9000 for their inclusion.
Don't worry, they, plus various giant monsters from various sources will be making appearances very soon.
Ciao!