A/N Sorry it's late but Happy New Year. This is still fem Ichi and fem Shinji. I think this time around it's a bit better. I am going to keep the old version up to see if maybe you guys want to keep that one up or if I should stick to this one. Now the premise is the exact same hell the first couple of chapters are identical with some very needed changes. I hope this is the one that sticks since I have been revising and editing this for weeks. Please forgive any mistakes or errors.

The beginning

August 3rd, 20xx

Life sucks being a teenager sucks and being Ichigo Kurosaki is hell. I used to love my life but then…ugh we'll get to that soon. But since this is about me and my beginnings let's start off with introductions. Well my name is Ichigo Kurosaki I have beautiful long flowing orange natural hair. I'm Japanese and I'm 5 '8. I'm a tall bitch I know. I have only been to Japan a handful of times to visit my moms distant family but other than that America on the western equator is my life. I go to a school named Las Noches. Why name a school the night in spanish I have no idea. It's pretty stupid in my opinion. But hey at least we don't have to wear uniforms. Well yet anyways. But I'm getting off topic. I tend to do that a lot.

I used to be popular. I used to be feared, now everyone sneers at me and calls me names. I mean yeah I was kinda sorta a bully and maybe a bitch but so what I had the power besides I'm now looking at the other end of the spectrum and yeah it's not fun. Geez Karma is real. Now to cope with such shame and humiliation my parents are making me see a therapist. Something about anger issues and suicide. Do I cut myself? Sometimes it just depends on the day and situation you know. Do I have anger issues? Maybe but when you can't punch the people bullying you I mean what would you do? You'd go crazy. So yeah I get upset and scream at myself or at the wall never my family though. Look, let's start from the beginning. I want to start no I need to start from the beginning not that I have a choice since I have to write why I'm here so let's start with oh lets say hmm I know Kindergarten.

From the beginning of time Shinji Hirako has always been my friend. We did everything together and I mean everything. We both bonded over our taste in boy crushes and being Japanese. Shinji had an older brother Rojuru that was a lot older than us and I had an older twin brother Shiro. To be honest I always considered Shinji more my twin than my actual twin brother. I know it sounds fucked up but I'm not saying that I don't love my twin brother I'm just saying Shinji and I bonded just a little more you know. Back to the point it was always me and Shinji there was never a moment where it wasn't me and Shinji. We were the same, we were sassy and wild you couldn't tell us anything and amazingly enough everyone wanted to be around us. I mean we did stand out to be honest with you. Shinji had this bright yellow blonde hair that she adored and as stated before I have this long beautiful orange hair and we were both thick and slim. I'd want to be around us too to be honest with you. Plus even in kindergarten we were hot like everyone, girls and guys wanted us one way or another. Shinji and I figured out we were bisexual like fifth grade but that's not the main point. Fuck I keep getting off subject. Throughout our elementary years it's always been me and Shinji. When we hit middle school, that's when our friend group started expanding a bit.

It was our sixth grade year when we met Rukia Kuchki. She was a rich girl and like all rich girls she was spoiled, oh and Japanese another bonus friend. I met her one day during lunch while waiting for Shinji. It was completely by fate that she and I shared similar interests in books we loved reading stupid mystery novels. I liked her. Shinji liked her, thus she was part of our group. Afterwards in seventh grade we all clicked with a girl named Orihime Inoue. She was a sweet girl but she was dumb as a box of rocks. She was also Japanese. Damn now that I think of it we bonded over the same language, culture, and we were all hot. Off topic again ugh. We all thought she was cool because she watched the same reality tv shows we did like bachelorette and 90 day finance.

We ruled our eighth grade year. Everyone wanted to hangout with us, they wanted to be our friend. We'd always hang over Rukia's house. Her brother in law Byakuya was almost never around and her sister Hisana was always sleeping in her room or with Byakuya so the house was ours for the taking. Orihime had a decent sized house as well and she lived with her brother. He was a CFO whatever that means. Orihime's brother Sora tended to not like being around us since we were young girls and made him uncomfortable with our boy talk. So on the off chance Byakuya and or Hisana were home then our plan B was Orihime's place. Even though we were all friends, Shinji and I rarely ever let Rukia and Orihime over our houses, not that we were embarrassed, hell no my Father and Mother worked in a very renowned hospital and Rojuru was a businessman. So yeah trust me I ain't embarrassed of shit more so we didn't want Orihime and Rukia barging in on our relationship Shinji was practically my family and I didn't want anyone getting in between that neither did she.

Ahh back to the story. Alright freshman year was kinda when shit hit the fan but mostly my current year which is now my sophomore year. After school we would always hang out together doing our usual things. Talking behind people's back like this Neliel chick she was the school whore. Rumor has it she slept with the whole football team and basketball team. Every time we saw her we would sneer and make sex noises. Ironically she thought me and her were friends because we shared a couple classes together in eighth grade. Trust me we weren't friends. Not at the time anyways. The girls and I wold always go to the coffee shop after school to hangout and just gossip life was good. Then the boys got involved. Fuck men by the way fuck those assholes.

I got a boyfriend named Tsukishima Shukuro. He was a bookworm and we bonded over books. Rukia was dating some redhead named Renji Abari and Orihime wasn't ready to date to be quite honest. And Shinji omg Shinji got the guy we both lusted after Kugo Ginjo ugh he was so fine. We both wanted him. I guess Shinji was a little better at getting her way. Well anyways we were all happy Shinji especially everytime we were hanging out Kugo was there. Renji and my boyfriend were rarely ever around. I mean things were kinda the same, you know just Shinji had less time for her friends. You know, way back in middle school we all vowed to never let a guy get in between us. I guess some things are meant to be broken. Welp it is what it is. I remember we were hanging out a while back in our freshman year and each saying to each other we were going to have sex with our boyfriends. I didn't really want to give Tsukishima my V card. I said I would since I knew Shinji was going to give Kugo her V card. It was the end of Freshman year when Shinji told us she had sex with Kugo. I thought she was stupid. I don't know if it's old fashioned but I want to save that for the guy I love and I didn't love Tsukishima.

The story is coming to an end I promise. At the start of sophomore year what is this November? It was August when I broke up with Tsukishima. It was mutual really. He had feelings for another girl named Riruka and I honestly was happy because I didn't want to hurt his feelings by breaking up with him which I planned on doing. We still stayed friends though. Rukia cussed Tsukishima out as well as Shinji saying he lost the best thing he's ever had which is not true. I apologized to Tsukishima that day over text. Now let's see, yes the story ends here actually. It was a Fall dance and I went with Orihime. Rukia went with Renji and Shinji of course went with Kugo. I went out to go get some air since the atmosphere in the auditorium was getting a little too hot to handle. While out there Kugo was with me as well. I thought he was getting fresh air with me. I was so wrong. Our conversation went like this:

Asshole: 'It's hot in there right.'

Me: 'yeah dude totally.'

Asshole 'I like your dress you look sexy'

Me: 'Umm thanks?'

I shit you not he leaned in and kissed me. This was honestly what I wanted when he wasn't dating my best friend. I mean I was stunned and I went to push him but he beat me to the punch. The next thing I remember was Shinji and the others staring at us and Kugo saying I kissed him. I tried to tell Shinji he kissed me but she didn't believe me. Rukia and Orihime shook their heads in disappointment and went to comfort Shinji. And Kugo that dick just smiled at me and winked as he ran after Shinji. The end, the whole school thinks I'm a hoe because the very next day Shinji started the rumor that I was a boyfriend stealer.

My therapist looked at me as she finished my journal entry. Her name was Nanao Ise and she had big boobs and pretty brown hair and glasses and always wore jeans and a plain black shirt. She adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat. I was waiting for the judgment of 'I should have known better' but all she did was hand me back my journal and crossed her legs.

"How do you feel after writing that down Ichigo?"

I didn't know how to respond honestly. It was so pussy of me but I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I sniffled and looked Nanao in the eyes and sighed heavily.

"I feel absolutely miserable."

A/N I hope it was good. I've been editing the chapters and adjusting them and I think this will be a good story. I'll be uploading Chapter two in a few just need to edit a few things. I hope you guys liked it this time around.