Mass Cross Frontier

by weebee

The culmination of several terrible ideas. From an il-advised scientific expedition, to the Illusive man's shifting plans, to a couple of authors who should really know better. No, it's not what you think.

1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The authors of this fic do not own Mass Effect or any other continuities we cross it with.

Summary: The culmination of several terrible ideas. From an il-advised scientific expedition, to the Illusive man's shifting plans, to a couple of authors who should really know better. No, it's not what you think.

Chapter 1: You Wake Up in a Cell.

"...Ranma?" A voice came from the darkness to his left and he winced. Whatever had been going on, it gave him the biggest headache he'd ever had, and that included that Romeo and Juliette incident.

"...If you say this is all my fault, I'm gunna hit you," he responded, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.

"What? No," The other voice paused briefly considering something. "I mean obviously it is, but that's not important right now. Where the hell are we?"

Ranma's eye twitched, but when he tried to raise a hand to smack the origin point of Ryoga's voice, something stopped it with a quiet clanking sound. "Wherever we are, we're in handcuffs," he grumbled. Tugging his wrists apart as hard as he could, he could feel metal dig into them and heard a quiet beeping. "Can you break 'em? I can't."

The beeping sound repeated from nearby, along with a loud grunt and a creaking sound. "Th… these things are strong."

"...Great," Ranma muttered, squinting into the darkness that surrounded him. To his left he could see the bulk of Ryoga, and to his right a wall. Other shadows were scattered around what looked like a fairly large room. His examination was abruptly interrupted when a door on the wall he was leaning against opened, flooding the room with light.

A figure entered the room, looking around, and as the head turned towards him Ranma bit back a gasp. Getting a good look at a very inhuman face including four eyes and two rows of nostrils. The creature growled something incomprehensible, before turning back through the door it'd just entered from. The door closed quickly afterwards, a slab of metal falling from the ceiling.

"Ryoga, did you see…" Ranma started.

"Yes. Though, I think I'm seeing things." The perpetually lost one rubbed his eyes, his cuffed hands jangling as he did. "Was that four eyes? Are we in Star Wars?

"Dunno," Ranma responded. "I was just askin' to make sure it wasn't Akane's cooking again."

"If we weren't handcuffed in a dark room, I'd start a fight over that." Ryoga growled. "I'll save it for later."

"It wouldn't be a good idea to start a fight here," another male voice came from somewhere past Ryoga.

"Huh? Who's that?" The lost boy demanded.

"Call me Urzu," the voice replied. "Do you have any idea of the situation?"

"If what we saw wasn't an illusion caused by food poisoning, I'd say abducted by aliens." Ryoga offered, completely serious.

"Or a demon or something," Ranma counter-offered, although given the circumstances, Ryoga's option seemed more likely.

"Oh, or maybe it was the wizard of oz?" A sarcastic female voice chirped from nearby.

"He was probably wearing some sort of mask," Urzu disagreed.

"I am in despair." Another voice offered from one of the far corners of the room, catching everyone's attention for a moment before being promptly ignored.

"Not sure, I think those eyes blinked," Ranma disagreed.

"Whatever's happening," Urzu said, as shuffling and grunting noises began to come from others waking, "I can't find any way to pick these handcuffs. I've never seen the design before."

"I'm surprised I can't break them." Ryoga said.

"You tried the breaking point?" Ranma asked.

"I hadn't thought of that…" Ryoga began looking at his cuffs in detail. "Oh god. There's too many dots. I can't find a good entry point." He sighed, dropping his head.

"They seem to have replaced our clothes," Urzu said. "I don't have any of my weapons." His tone sounded strained.

"How?" The female voice from before asked incredulously. "Last time they built a mountain out of them."

"They… they stripped us all?!" Another girl's voice came from just past Ryoga's shoulder. "Those complete perverts! When I get my hands on them…" her cuffs began to beep.

"As much as I sympathize, I don't think you wanna do that," the first girl said. A few moments later the door slid open, and in stepped a demon, or alien or guy in a mask. Whatever it was, it had a gun, and glared at everyone.

Most of them stopped moving, trying to avoid drawing attention, aside from the man in the corner of the room who was still huddling in on himself and muttering about despair. The creature stepped over to him and poked him hard in the shoulder. This got an immediate reaction as the man shot to his feet. "First I've got thirty-six tests to grade, and now I got abducted! Because of you, I am…"

There was a report that seemed unusually quiet for the size of the gun, and he fell backwards, blood spattering across the wall behind him and several unfortunate, shaking people. The man let out one last rattling gasp, before slumping down on his face, bleeding out on the floor. The thing glared around at everyone else, giving a look that promised the same treatment if they did anything similar, before turning and leaving the room, the door sliding closed behind it.

The second the light disappeared, several people began to cry and at least one was noisily sick. "That… he just... " Ryoga stammered, shocked.

"Hmm, so they aren't using us as hostages then," Urzu said calmly. "Probably human traffickers."

"Oh god," the second female voice from before continued. "They're going to sell me as a sex slave! This is horrible!"

"It's entirely possible," Urzu stated.

"God damn it Sousuke! That's not helping!" The first girl yelled, and the familiar sound of something metal hitting bone rang out through the room.

"Does this seem like it's happened before?" Ryoga asked, and Ranma could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"Shut up, P-chan," the pigtailed boy growled back as the second girl burst into tears, the first trying to comfort her.

"That's two." Ryoga commented under his breath. "So do we just sit here and wait for whatever happens next? Or what?"

"There's almost certainly more than one of them," Urzu, or was it Sousuke? said, obviously considering. "Since we can't get the cuffs off and we don't know if anyone knows what's happened to us, our only option is probably to attack during transportation."

"That's if they take us all at once," Ranma disagreed.

"Hmmm. That's true. In which case breaking out from here is also an option. But with a single entrance, we'd be gunned down pretty fast."

"What if you had cover until you got past the entrance?" The voice that spoke was slightly higher than any of theirs, either a girl or a young child.

"What cover? There's no cover here other than other people." Sousuke pointed out. "And I'd prefer not to use that option."

He was answered by a greenish glow that began forming across the room, extending into a circle that spread slightly across the floor and up the wall before solidifying into a translucent quarter-dome.

"We're off to see the wizard…" the first girl mumbled under her breath.

"...Chidori," Sousuke started, in a strained tone. "Is that a-"

"No it isn't," the girl said confidently. "But I have no idea what that is…"

"It's magic," The younger voice clarified. There were several understanding murmurs or grunts around the room, and more than a few disbelieving scoffs. One guy even complained, loudly, that it was complete bullshit.

"Can we not get into an argument over the existence of magic on a ship full of murderous aliens?" Ryoga growled, shifting in his seat.

"Sure. So… how much force can it stop?" Ranma asked, curiously.

"Do we have the opportunity to figure that out?" The younger voice countered.

Ranma responded by standing, walking over to the barrier and leaning back, bringing his chained fists forward together as hard as he could. There was a small ripple of light that extended from the impact point, but no other effects. "...Okay, that's… pretty strong. And my hands are numb," he reported.

"Normally I wouldn't be comfortable trusting my life to that," Sousuke said. "Unfortunately I don't think we have a choice."

"I don't suppose Mithril knows where we are?" Chidori asked.

"Unlikely." Sousuke said, curtly.

"So, we have a shield. That'll help us a bit. Can't really do that much while cuffed, can we?" Ryoga said, bringing his hands up for reference, not that anyone could see. "Also, how draining is that? We could use a bit more light."

"That won't be a problem," the higher pitched voice said, the shield vanishing and giving way to a hovering ball of energy. "How's this?"

"Yeah, that's fi…" Ryoga cut himself off, blinking at the thin blond teen who was holding his hands up in the direction of the light ball. "Huh, not what I was expecting."

"Why?"

"It's just the voice…" Ryoga fidgetted for a moment. "I was sort of expecting a kid." The blond just sighed irritably.

"There'd better not actually be any kids in here or I'm gunna kill someone… slowly," Ranma growled, using the opportunity the light provided to scan the room for any.

"You're going to have to kill someone either way if we want to get out of this alive," Sousuke said, Ranma glancing over at him, a boy about his own age with a scar on his cheek, disorganized brown hair and grey eyes.

Next to him sat a girl with teal hair, brown eyes and a look that read more as irritable than afraid. He assumed that she was the sarcastic girl, not the scared one.

"Hey, we're not going to have to do that… right?" Ryoga asked. "I mean, yelling about killing Ranma's one thing, but…"

"They have weapons, and there could be many of them," Sousuke said flatly. "To minimize casualties on our side, we need to take them down quickly. If you aren't capable of doing so, you should stay back."

"Well, there ain't exactly that many of us who can fight," Ranma said, looking around the room and taking note of many scared, wide eyes. "Does anyone else here know how to fight?"

The second girl who spoke before stood up. She seemed only a bit older than Ranma, with long, light brown hair. "I can fight," the girl said, determined.

"Kid, barrier again," Ranma ordered. "Can you tell how hard I punched it?"

"Um… I think so," said kid replied. "But I might be a bit off, it felt like you hit it really hard."

Ranma smirked cockily. "Nah, I'm just that awesome." Ryoga just rolled his eyes and groaned.

The boy ignored this, switching to his shield.

"Okay, now hit it," Ranma ordered.

""Okay, here we go!" The girl said, taking a stance to ready a kick. She then released the kick, and completely whiffed, probably off balance from the cuffs.

"Nope. you're out." Ranma said, turning to see if anyone else would volunteer.

"Hey! I just missed! Give me another shot!" The girl demanded.

"If you can't fight with the cuffs on, you'll just get in the way." Ranma stated, not even looking at her.

"I...But-" The girl would have objected more, but was interrupted by the man sitting down next to her.

"Naru, just sit down." Dejectedly, she did as she was told.

"Um, I think I could help," another girl who had been hiding in the other corner, shying away from the light spoke in a very strong kansei accent.

"Okay, what do ya got?" Ranma asked.

The girl reluctantly stepped forward and then took a stance, unleashing a quick straight kick into the barrier which produced a bright, clear ripple.

"That… was stronger than your punch," the blond teen announced.

"Yeah, well…" Ranma tugged on his pigtail. "Had my hands chained up 'n all."

"I'd like to laugh at you for getting beat," Ryoga cut in, "But… I'm pretty sure her leg's made of metal."

Ranma blinked, looking the girl over as she shrank back into the shadows again and taking note of the obvious mechanical elbow joints that were revealed by the short sleeves of the drab grey outfits they all wore. "...Huh…" he said, flatly.

"I wasn't aware that there were companies developing man-sized humanoid robots." Sousuke noted.

"Um, well I…" The girl stuttered, fidgeting.

"Well Leonard had a couple of mansized arm Slaves, but they weren't as thin as she is," the teel haired girl chipped in.

"Chidori, please don't discuss classified material out in the open," Sousuke snapped.

"Does it really matter?" Ranma asked. "Guessin' she wants outta here as much as we do."

"Affirmative." Sousuke said, nodding. Standing, he looked around the room. "Is there anyone else?"

One girl with somewhat haphazard black hair raised a hand, but it was immediately forced down by a taller girl with brown hair and glasses next to her. Seeing no other responses, he nodded.

"Okay, so now we've got the commando squad of two martial artists, a magician, a robot and some guy together, what do we do?" Ryoga asked.

"My name is Labrys," the robot said, giving the lost boy a slight glare.

"That's a good code name." Sousuke stated, nodding sagely.

"What, no, that's… Never mind," Labrys grumbled.

"Oh, uh, sorry…" The lost boy reached up to tug on his bandanna, found nothing there and twitched. "I'm Ryoga, that idiot's Ranma,"

"Hey," Ranma complained, but Ryoga continued nonetheless, pointing at another male.

"Sousuke,"

"Urzu," Sousuke corrected, but was promptly ignored.

"and… uh…"

"Yuuno Scrya," the younger boy contributed.

"Now that we know each other, we should get working," Sousuke said, his level tone giving way to slight irritation. "They aren't likely to leave us alone in here much longer."

"All right," Ryoga said, standing. "So what's the plan?"

"One of us will trigger the alarm on our cuffs. When someone opens the door, Yuuno will project his shield past it and we will rush the guard. Hopefully I can get and use his weapon while Ranma, Ryoga and Labrys attack anyone in range. Yuuno withdraws to protect the other hostages."

"...not the most horrible plan I've ever heard," Ranma admitted.

"What I wouldn't give for my umbrella right now…" the lost boy grumbled.

Labrys looked at him strangely. "Yer not gonna have'ta worry about rain in here, ya know."

"Yeah, Seriously P-chan, suck it up," Ranma agreed.

"That's three…" Ryoga said under his breath, taking a position across from Ranma at the door.

Sousuke and Labrys stood in front of it, the two martial artists and the mercenary jumping slightly as two protrusions on the robotic girl's back let off streams of flame, rising up over her head and revealing themselves to be the blades of a massive techno broadaxe.

"I'm ready," she said, catching the weapon in her hands.

"What the…She gets an axe? And I don't get my umbrella?" Ryoga grumbled.

"Aw, suck it up P-chan," Labrys repeated Ranma's insult. "My guess is they thought it was built in." Ranma just laughed.

"That's five," Ryoga growled.

"Wait? What happened to four?" Ranma asked.

"Three," Sousuke interrupted, beginning a countdown. "Two… One." And with that, he pulled his cuffs apart as much as he could. As predicted, the cuffs began to beep. Startled, Yuuno slammed his hand down to the floor, a lattice of green runes spreading from it.

For the next fifteen seconds, the beeping echoed around the room, those waiting at the door getting more and more on edge, until it slid open, angry sounding guttural noises coming through, followed by an angry looking creature.

Ranma and Ryoga immediately moved, two pairs of fists crashing in on each side of its head. Blue light flared around them, stopping them inches from contact with skull. Half a second later, as the creature was turning and bringing up its gun, Labrys slammed into it, the rocket boosters on her axe spitting flame. The blue translucent shield that was protecting their enemy flashed brightly and then died, the weapon biting into armor, and then flesh. The creature fell back, a large wound opened across its chest and stomach.

Sousuke immediately leapt forward, scooping up the fallen weapon and following Ranma and Ryoga out of the doorway, Yuuno's shield barely keeping pace with them.

As soon as they were out the door, alarms started to go off in the hallway, several more guards raising their weapons and firing, bright ripples of green exploding across Yuuno's shield.

The four fighters moved apart, Sousuke sticking back and studying his newly acquired weapon as Ranma, Ryoga and Labrys lunged for fresh targets. Recalling what had happened last time, the smaller of the martial artists grabbed one guard's gun, wrenching it out of his hands. Ryoga, for his part, brought both hands down on another's head, but they were stopped by the shield.

His eyes widened as his opponent's gun rose. It only took him a second to pull his hands back and reach for the weapon, but it was long enough for several shots to stitch their way up his left leg. He crumpled, yelling in agony as one hand lashed out, gripped the gun and crushed it's barrel.

"Bastard!" Ranma yelled, lifting the gun he'd taken and holding down the part that looked like a trigger. The guard's shield stopped several of the bullets, but not all as it fell backwards with several wounds in its chest and head.

A second later, Sousuke apparently decided that he'd figured out as much as he was going to about his own weapon, opening fire on the final armed guard, who Labrys had just attacked with her axe. All three still able-bodied combatants turned to the guard who's weapon Ranma had stolen, who raised his hands in a show of surrender.

"So we got 'em all," the pigtailed martial artist said, looking around.

"That alarm is most likely to bring more," Sousuke replied. "Is everyone alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine..." Ryoga said in a shaky voice, sitting on the ground and holding his leg out.

"Ranma, how much ammo do you have left?" Sousuke barked. Ranma just looked at him, blankly. "The indicator on the display just below the sights."

"Umm… about half," Ranma reported. "Though, I can't be sure, it's just a bar. And it's slowly going down."

Sousuke grunted in irritation. "Scrya, can you block the entrances with that shield of yours?"

The blond boy cautiously poked his head out of the room the others were hiding in and looked around. "Yes, probably," he began, "But Ryoga looks injured. If we don't have first-aid supplies, I can heal him instead."

"Do it," Sousuke nodded. "Ranma, Labrys, secure the door."

"Right," the pigtailed martial artist replied. "But who's gunna watch this guy?" He gestured at the stunned alien sitting on the floor next to him.

"I'll handle that," Sousuke said, walking over and pointing his own gun at the thing's head.

Ranma quickly moved away, over to the door that most likely lead from this room to the rest of the building they were in. It looked pretty heavy, a small bright red circle hovering in its middle.

"This thing ain't budgin'," Labrys said, walking up next to him and smacking the metal with the pommel of her weapon.

Ranma turned to her and flinched backwards. The blade of her axe was splattered in blood, small amounts of it on her upper-body and face. "I… I guess you were built for this kinda stuff, huh?" He asked, looking a bit queasy.

"Yes, I was," She looked down and started self-consciously wiping at some of the blood on her shirt, which did nothing. "Not that it was my decision." Ranma silently watched a drop of blood fall from the axe to the floor.

"Oh… uh…" Ranma turned his gaze back to the door, beginning to run a hand along the metal where the two halves joined. "So… where do you think we are?"

"I 'unno. In the TV?" She offered, "But these definitely ain't Shadows."

"In the… I'd ask you if you were nuts, but stranger things have happened," Ranma replied. The girl standing next to him didn't reply. "Don't tell P-chan I said this, but I'm startin' to agree with his guess. This high-tech gun and all these metal walls… I'm thinkin' aliens," he rambled to fill the silence.

The silence was quickly covered up by Sousuke attempting to converse with their new hostage, switching to different languages in hopes of being understood.

HR

"Wassat Esperanto?" Labrys asked, as she and Ranma leaned against the door. It'd been over an hour, and they were both wondering if Sousuke was ever going to run out of languages to try.

"I'm pretty sure he's just not co-operating. You should just knock him out." Ryoga offered, grumbling over his leg. The strange magical healing was progressing slowly. "Can't this go any faster?"

"This isn't exactly my specialty," Yuuno ground out. "Someone with wounds this bad should be evacuated to an actual medical facility, but we don't have one."

"For all we know we do," Kaname spoke. "We just don't have any idea what any of the machines in here do."

"Do you see… anything you recognize?" Sousuke seemed to pause unnaturally in the middle of his question.

The girl shook her head.

"Then I'd prefer not to experiment," Sousuke stated before trying to communicate in yet another language.

"Well we've got to do something," Ryoga said. "We can't just sit in here forever. We've got to eat and I don't have my pack."

"None of us have any of our stuff, Ryoga," Ranma growled. "Just-" He was interrupted by a clicking and whirring noise behind him, and the surface he was leaning against abruptly slid sideways. He quickly rolled forward, the gun that had been sitting beside him scooped into his arms awkwardly, and turned in a crouch.

Whoever was at the door was smart enough to move behind the wall, out of firing range. "Hold your fire!" Sousuke barked.

"...Huh, Japanese, that's unexpected," a voice came through the door, also in Japanese. "I really hope this software's up to date... "

Sousuke stepped up to the door behind the two guards. "State your identity and business. I should warn you that we are armed and capable of defending ourselves!"

"Fewer death threats than usual, and in a human language. I'm guessing you aren't Batarian slavers." The voice sounded far too casual for the situation, Ranma thought.

"State your identity and business. I won't ask again." Sousuke demanded.

"Fine, fine," the voice came again. "They call me Archangel, I am here to break up a Batarian slaving group. I've secured the rest of the building and am clearing the back rooms. How's that?"

"By yourself?" Sousuke asked, almost impressed.

"I'm that good."

"Adequate," Sousuke responded, gun still at the ready. As he spoke, he pointed at Ryoga, then gestured at the other former prisoners milling around and pointed to the inner room.

Ranma looked baffled "How is that adequate?" He questioned before being shushed.

"Oh, so I' guess you'd want me to do it while juggling?" the voice sounded snide, now.

"That still wouldn't tell me whether or not you are friendly." Sousuke said.

"You've got a point there," Archangel replied. "Okay, this is stupid, but... " There was a clattering sound from outside and a figure entered the door frame. It was about the size of a tall human, and much bulkier than the Batarians had been, wearing a suit of dull-blue armor and carrying no visible weapons. "What the…" it looked around. "You're all kids?"

It stepped further into the room, but was stopped as both Sousuke and Ranma aimed their weapons at it. Whatever it was, it looked like some type of mix between a bug and bird.

"Woah, woah. Hold on now. I came in here unarmed to show I'm friendly." The creature stated, hands in the air. "And that is a big axe. How did she keep that thing?"

"Not important. So what happens now?" Sousuke asked.

"Well, hopefully we get you folks out of here and on a ship back to Earth," Archangel replied. "Might take some doing though, given where we are."

"Which is?" Ranma interjected.

"Omega, a mining asteroid base in the Omega Nebula. Mostly a clubbing and smuggling base if you ask me." The bug/bird creature said. Everyone just kind of stared at him, long and hard.

"Ha! Called it!" Ryoga yelled from the other room.

HR.

Ryoga tentatively stood, resting one of his now free hands against the wall and testing his weight on the leg that had been injured. "Huh, it worked," he said, shifting on and off of it a few times.

"You should still be in a lot of pain," Archangel commented, briefly looking over from where he was waving a strange, translucent glove shaped device over one of the prisoners' hands. The cuffs fell free and the man rubbed his wrists, stepping back. "Is that everyone?" the alien asked, looking around and muttering something about batteries and security.

"That was everyone," Sousuke said, his eyes tracking Archangel's movements as they'd been doing since he walked in.

"You wanna stop givin' him the stink eye?" Ranma asked. "He's helpin' us."

"Don't take it personally, Sousuke does that to everyone," Chidori explained.

"Yes, but it is convenient that he just happened to show up an hour after we overpowered our captors," Sousuke countered.

Ranma was about to open his mouth when Archangel chuckled. "Pretty suspicious, huh? Honestly it's a healthy attitude to take around here. Most of this station would happily sell you themselves. The only reason I'm here is because one of my men found out about this place and tipped me off."

"Your men?" Sousuke asked.

"I run a little group on the station," Archangel said, fiddling with a glove he'd pulled off of the body of one of the dead aliens. "We try to stop the worse crimes. Sentient trafficking, assassinations, that sort of thing." The glove in his hand suddenly burst into a yellow glow, and he tapped at it a few times. "Here," he said, offering it to Sousuke. "This should help."

The brown haired boy eyed the proffered device distrustfully. "What is it?"

"An omni-tool," the armored creature explained. "I switched its display language to english. Sorry, but Batarians aren't exactly likely to install every human language pack on there. Still, you should be able to use it for text translation or access the extranet. Sorry about the four fingered glove, by the way."

"I see," Sousuke nodded, taking the 'omni-tool' and putting it on, beginning to manipulate it with twitches of the glove's fingers. For a moment Ryoga was surprised that he could do so, but then he had been watching Archangel closely.

"So what do we do now?" One of the others asked, looking between Archangel, Sousuke and the other aliens on the floor.

"Well, I'm going to call my team to help get you out, then we're going to interrogate that Batarian you captured to see what's going on," Archangel replied, bringing one of his three-fingered hands up to his ear and tapping at a glowing blue headset and monocle arrangement he was wearing there.

"Archangel to base, turns out Sidonus' tip paid off pretty big. I need a few of you to come down here and help me deal with a bunch of humans the Batarians brought in." There was a long pause, and he tapped the earpiece again. "Base? Damn it Saris, if you're asleep over there…" He lowered his hand, the mandibles in front of his mouth twitching slightly.

"Somethin' wrong?" Labrys asked, from where she was standing over their prisoner, axe out.

"It's not like my team to go silent like this," Archangel said, his expression unreadable but worry obvious in his tone. "Either there's a communication failure or they're under attack."

There were quiet murmurs all around the room, several people looking at the alien worriedly. Eventually he nodded to himself. "Look, you stay here, read up on what's going on. I have to check on my team."

"But if it is an attack, wouldn't you be walkin' right into it?" Ranma asked.

"Not the first time I've walked into a trap." Archangel shrugged, "But I have to save my men if any are left."

Ranma nodded. "Then I guess we're in."

"Whatta ya mean 'We'?" Labrys interjected, placing one of her metal hands on her hip.

"We can't," Sousuke disagreed. "We have too many people here who can't fight."

"Then you guys stay," Ranma shot back. "This guy helped us, and if what he said is right, we're kinda screwed if he dies."

"Then I'm going too." Ryoga growled. Clenching his fists, he staggered forward a bit.

"Not with that leg, you aren't." Ranma said, "And if I have to kick you to make you understand, then I will."

"None of you are going with me," Archangel interrupted the lost boy's forming reply.

"You can't really stop us from followin' you," Labrys spoke up. "Unless you fight us yourself."

Ranma gave her an odd look. "I thought you didn't want to go?"

"I just didn't like bein' volunteered," She replied.

Archangel looked between the two of them for a moment. "Unfortunately she's right, I can't stop you. I'm just telling you it's a bad idea, but I don't have time to argue. If you do come with me, you follow any orders I give in combat, understood?"

Both Ranma and Labrys nodded.

"We won't be here if you make it back," Sousuke spoke up. "This location is likely to be compromised."

"Just be careful," Archangel said, turning to leave. "Watch out for the four-eyed guys and anyone with needles for teeth. They don't tend to like humans."

Sousuke nodded, before turning back to the alien captive. Interrogations would probably go better with the new tool.

HR.

"So…" Archangel said as the three walked through one of many back-tunnels, avoiding the main streets of Omega. "You seem to think you can help me, and you did take out those Batarians. I assume that Synthetic uses the axe she's got on her back, what do you do?"

"I'm a martial artist," Ranma replied, looking around interestedly at the half-exposed technology running through the walls.

"Huh...Can't say I know how much use that'll be in a gunfight, but you can also fire a gun it seems." Archangel noted, looking at the rifle in Ranma's hands.

"Can...can ya not call me a Synthetic?" Labrys asked tentatively, sounding a bit down. "My name is Labrys."

Archangel stopped and looked back at her. "The way you're talking… you're not a VI, are you?" He immediately summoned his omni-tool, a beam of orange light playing over the robotic girl's body.

"What's a VI?" She asked, fidgeting nervously.

"That's... " The alien tapped a few buttons on his device irritably. "You shouldn't even…" He shook his head. "We don't have time. Yes, I'll call you by name, Labrys." He then muttered "I'll just have to figure out how to explain an illegal AI later."

"Wait, so AI is illegal?" Ranma asked. "Why?"

"Long story," Archangel replied, activating a panel next to a large, heavy-looking shutter. "Unfortunately, we're here so I don't have time to tell it. I just…" His voice trailed off as the terminal sprang to life, a flickering image appearing of a large room, columns on either side and two bodies laying in the middle of the floor. He tapped rapidly, cycling through several more cameras, some of which showed the same room from different angles. Others showed different areas, each of which contained bodies, destroyed furniture and scorch marks.

"They aren't still in there," he muttered. "If I'm right, they're watching the entrances they know about for me to show up."

"So what do we do?" Labrys asked, looking over his shoulder.

"I didn't see all of my men in there," Archangel replied. "Sidonus is missing. I can't see the balcony from the camera, maybe he's hunkered down." The Alien paused for a few moments. "Alright, so here's the plan. We need to get to the balcony. At least from there I'll have a good view. I'll go in first. If they fire at me then you… do what you can. This is going to be a gunfight, so use whatever you can for cover. I've got shields and armor, you don't."

"You guys ready?" Archangel asked. The other two took up positions as he entered a code to disarm the alarms on the shutter and opened it, rolling into the room beyond. Looking around, he saw no enemies in the area and walked over to the crumpled body of a human who was half-folded over a barricade. He gently moved the man to the ground, and then pulled several devices and a weapon off of his body.

He turned, handing the devices to Ranma. "Here. I always said Jackson was paranoid for wearing a secondary shield generator, but since we aren't likely to find armor your size here it's a lucky break.

Ranma studied the devices, realizing that they would fit on his arms and legs. "So what does this do?" He asked.

"It'll give you a kinetic barrier," Archangel explained. "It's not as strong as you'd get with full armor, but should stop a few shots. And here, this rifle's better than that piece of crap you picked up."

"Right," Ranma said, taking the new assault rifle. "What about Labrys?"

"We've only got one secondary shield," Archangel shook his head. "No offense, but I'm hoping your friend can take a few more shots before going down than a human."

Labrys gave him an irritable look, but didn't say anything as the three made their way across the large, empty room to a set of ascending stairs, a door at the top. Archangel waited for them to get into position again, and then opened it, moving out into the room beyond and then diving for a column as assault rifle fire smashed into the wall next to him.

Yelling was heard, but unlike the alien they were with there was nothing translating it into Japanese. Ranma darted past the door as Archangel returned fire, turning as he went and snapping off a few shots of his own at several more of the four-eyed creatures, and a massive, hulking red-scaled beast in heavy armor.

"Big guy, over there!" He yelled, pointing at the lizard, before channeling chi into his hand and firing a large orb of gold energy at one of the four-eyes. The ball of chi crackled against the thing's shields for a second, before tearing through and smashing it into a wall.

"You're a biotic?" Archangel yelled in surprise, before Labrys burst through the door, charging right at the lizard, the rockets on one side of her axe spitting flame. Rather than trying to shoot back at her, the creature seemed to take her charge as a challenge, roaring and charging forward itself. The others weren't as confident, scattering from where the two would make contact, allowing Archangel and Ranma to get a few good hits in on them.

When Labrys and the lizard-creature collided, blue sparks flew off of her axe as it hit a now visible barrier. Instead of continuing to push against the shield, she pulled back, leaping backward to gain some distance. It wasn't enough, as the lizard continued its charge, and plowed right into her, crushing her into a nearby wall. She struggled to find some way of continuing the attack, but was too well pinned. The creature let out what almost sounded like a laugh, before bullets raked its side and it fell backwards. Shaking her head, she saw Archangel turn back and continue firing.

Seeing their leader fall, the few remaining four-eyes retreated. Without missing a beat, Archangel headed up the nearby stairs.

"C'mon, let's go up and see what we're dealing with." The alien stated, crouching low when he reached the top of the stairs. The other two followed suit, making their way up as well. Upon reaching the balcony, all three hid behind the railing, taking brief looks over the top. Below them was a bridge leading to a narrow street, surrounded by buildings on either side. There seemed to be a few people charging the bridge, while others began to set up fortifications.

"They've been planning this for a while," Archangel growled, firing a shot from his rifle into the mass. "If my team wasn't dead, I'd be flattered."

"So...what is all of that exactly?" Labrys asked. "Seems like a lot of effort for one small crew."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew how much we'd pissed them off," Archangel responded, raising a longer, heavier rifle than the one he'd been using before and looking through a scope on its top. "Looks like…. Blue Suns, Blood Pack AND Eclipse… Damn"

"Which means…" Ranma prompted.

"That we're probably dead," Archangel said bluntly.

HR

This was a fantastically stupid idea. Sousuke Sagara knew this, but was doing it anyways. After all, Chidori had demanded he do it, pointing out that Archangel was their best bet at getting out of the situation. And he had to admit, she was right.

Standing next to several people who his omni-tool's codex had identified as Vorcha, Krogan and Asari, he tried to avoid fidgeting in the ill-fitting armor that he'd stolen off of a mercenary he'd managed to ambush in a dark corner. Wasn't his fault the kid didn't know how to use his gun properly.

"So, this is the place?" He heard a human voice speaking english, which drew his attention. Across the barricaded street, a dark haired woman was standing in front of a just-arrived hover-taxi, two large, armored men standing behind her.

"One helluva party," one of them said, looking around. "This Archangel fella must be a real badass."

"We were sent here for a reason," the woman replied.

Sousuke fell casually in behind the three as they walked past him. He probably wouldn't look too out of place walking with other humans, at least he hoped.

"So how does a guy hold off this many mercenaries for almost a day?" the dark-skinned man who was following behind the woman asked.

"Either he's very good or these guys are bloody incompetent," the first man replied. "And given what I know about these gangs, I'm goin' for incompetent."

"I'm hoping for the former," the woman said, causing one of Sousuke's eyebrows to raise.

The group wove through the collection of barricades and repurposed buildings that had been thrown together over the past day, Sousuke very careful to keep in a position just far enough back to avoid easy notice while looking like he was following. While he did so, he panned his omni-tool around, studying the readouts of various signs written in alien languages.

"Mech bay?" He muttered to himself as one translation appeared, moving away from the other human mercenaries. To his surprise, the door slid open easily when he tapped it with his gloved hand to reveal a room full of supplies and small robots, a much larger one sitting at one end. His mouth twitched into a slight smile. "Not what I expected, but possibly not as suicidal as I thought…"

HR.

Garrus Vakarian lined up another mercenary in his sights, just barely stopping himself from pulling the trigger as the figure who had been creeping up behind the man re-entered his awareness. "Damn it, kid, that's creepy," the Turian sniper grumbled, turning his aim to another mercenary as the kid in question slammed the first to the ground and tossed his weapons over the side of the bridge in front of the building.

"Good," he muttered, taking his shot. "He remembered the barrier this time. Still wish he'd just shoot them rather than the fancy CQC tricks."

"Got more robots!" The voice next to him made the turian twitch, and he glared over at Labrys, who was firing an assault rifle over the wall. She put the rifle up over her shoulder and let it clip to the gear harness he'd given her earlier. She leapt over the wall as Ranma drew back, the jets on the axe on her back flaring to life, propelling her towards the mechs. Meanwhile, Ranma had leapt a story straight up, landing easily beside him and taking up her previous position.

Garrus looked the young human over. "How're you holding up, kid?" He asked, not spotting any injuries.

"I'm fine," Ranma responded flatly, drawing his own rifle.

Garrus wanted to comment, calling the boy out for the fact that he'd refused to take his sleep shift after the first time or that his expression was looking flatter by the minute, but in the middle of a fire fight probably wasn't the best time.

"Shouldn't we be covering Labrys?" The boy asked, after Garrus gave him another long look.

"I don't think she needs it," the Turian said, turning back to see the synthetic chopping a mech in half. "I really want to know why you humans thought giving her a rocket powered battle axe was a good idea."

Ranma's expression didn't change. "Probably military or something. They always liked their robots."

"Well of course, she's military, but-" Garrus was cut off as Ranma finally frowned. "What is it?"

"One of those biotics is coming through," the pigtailed boy answered, raising his rifle and firing it down range. Garrus tracked the tracers to a human woman in a skin-tight white and black jumpsuit who was only carrying a pistol, a sure sign of a pure biotic. The woman rapidly rolled behind several boxes to join a darker skinned human male who pitched a warp up at the balcony to cover her retreat.

"Looks like we've got a coordinated group!" The Turrian yelled, trying to shake off the after-effects of the nearby biotic explosion.

He was answered by a flicker across his shields and loud beeping from his eyepiece, as a second human male poked out from behind another bit of cover. "And someone's got Disruptor ammo, Labrys, pull back now!"

The synthetic reacted quickly, charging back towards cover as a ball of golden energy flew over her head, tearing apart the cover the man who had been using disruptor ammo was hunkered behind. His two allies charged forward, hoping to distract from their exposed friend. Garrus, however, shook his head and sighted in on the black haired female. "Always keep an eye on your shield gauges," he mumbled to himself, firing.

The woman took the shot directly in the chest, her lightly armored clothing incapable of stopping the heavy sniper rifle round. The dark skinned man turned and ran back to her as she fell, manifesting a heavy biotic barrier. He was fumbling for a canister of medigel when another golden ball of energy slammed into his barrier, followed by a barrage of assault rifle fire that brought him down.

"You really don't like biotics, huh kid?" Garrus asked. He couldn't really blame him, earlier in the fight Ranma had been blindsided by a couple of asari and left floating in the middle of the bridge for almost fifteen seconds.

Ranma didn't say anything, only leaping down off of the balcony and turning on that weird thing that made him hard to notice as more mercenaries ran onto the bridge. "Wait a minute…" Garrus muttered. "Where's the other…"

There were several gunshots in rapid succession from the floor below, followed by a yell of "Hey, I'm on your side… supposedly!"

Garrus blinked. "What in the world…" He said, turning towards the door. "Labrys, if he puts down his guns, bring him up here. I'll hear him out."

The gruff male voice that had spoken before laughed. "Yeah, completely disarm myself, that's gunna happen!"

"Fine, then just level a shotgun at the back of his head," the turrian snapped.

The building behind him was silent for about fifteen seconds, before Labrys walked through the door, the man who had been firing disruptor rounds walking in front of her with the barrel of a shotgun aimed at the back of his neck. "Well ain't this a clusterfuck," the man grumbled, taking in the situation.

"What do you want?" Garrus demanded.

"Well, we were supposed to be meetin' Archangel, guessin that's her, in order to recruit them. 'Course then the fearless leader decided the best way to do that was to charge at your front door with a bunch of disposable thugs. Cerberus never claimed they were smart, I guess."

"You work for Cerberus?" Garrus asked, aiming his own gun at the man.

"Well I did before you shot my boss in the chest," the man replied. "I'm more of a paid mercenary, though. Name's Zaeed Masani."

"And you still came up here after that because…" the Turian asked, slowly.

"I'm pretty sure I heard those bastards mention something about shooting us if we retreat," Zaeed shrugged. "Besides, I'm almost willin' to shoot Blue Suns for free."

"...Labrys, let him go," Garrus eventually decided, the synthetic lowering her shotgun from the man's head. "Consider your payment living, if we get through this."

"Oh, I'll get through this," Zaeed responded, moving up to peer over the wall. "What the hell is that kid doing?" He asked, as Ranma snuck up behind another mercenary, knocking them down and disarming them.

"I wish I knew," Garrus responded.

"Where the 'ell did he go?" Zaeed asked again, noticing the kid just seem to disappear.

"He's still there," Garrus answered. "If you've got them, use your targeting optics and squint at the one you think's a malfunction."

The mercenary did so, his right eye narrowing significantly. "How the…"

"Again, I wish I knew," Garrus repeated. "I'd say tactical cloak, but that would trick the optics too. Labrys says she doesn't know what I'm talking about, and mechs can see him just fine."

"Whatever, I guess, long as he keeps doin' it," Zaeed shrugged.

"More robots!" Labrys called, as a giant crane appeared from over the enemy fortifications, dropping a large, bulky mech onto the bridge.

Garrus grabbed Labrys' arm before she could jump. "That one's got shields," he explained, as it opened fire on a rapidly retreating Ranma, who just barely rolled into cover ahead of the stream of bullets. "Also, that."

"Well what do we do?" The synthetic asked, though she also began to fire at the bulky machine.

"I don't-" Garrus was cut off by a massive explosion, the blast wave slightly buffeting him even as far away as he was. When the smoke cleared, a large portion of the bridge was blown out, shrapnel from the mechs that had been on it scattered over the rest. "Was… that you?" he asked, looking over at Zaeed.

"Oh I wish," The mercenary shook his head. "No, I just cattle prodded the guy fixing the Gunship. That there, was magnificent! Or a magnificent fuck up."

"Gunship?" Garrus frowned. "I thought we got rid of that already?"

"Well, maybe you did, it's not showin' up," Zaeed shrugged. The gang members seemed to be milling about in confusion on the other side of the bridge, the assault stopped for the moment.

"So, while we've got time," Garrus started, "Why did Cerberus want to recruit Archangel?"

"Apparently they're supposed to be some tactical and strategic badass," the mercenary explained. "We were on a mission to go after these guys called the collectors who've been hitting human colonies. To be honest I wasn't payin' a whole lot of attention, I just heard it paid well and was dangerous as hell."

"Rescuing human colonies doesn't seem like Cerberus' style," Garrus said as Ranma entered the room, collecting several thermal clips from a stockpile in the corner.

"Heck if I know. Was only on the ship for about half an hour before we hit this place. Most of the crew seemed to be all about this whole saving humanity thing, though. Bloody ship was even named after that Spectre, Shepard."

"Named after Shepard?" Garrus said, flatly.

"Yeah. Printed along the side, in big black letters," Zaeed nodded.

"I love these people already," the turian muttered sourly, before the sound of a plasma torch started down stairs. He immediately moved across the room, looking down on the one below, Ranma and Labrys moving to the stairwell.

"What now, Rachni?" Garrus muttered, getting a strange look from the mercenary next to him.

"Probably the Blood Pack, if you ask me. Vorcha just love to sneak up behind ya."

As if to prove the man right, the door opened to reveal a big, battle-scarred Krogan with a vorcha flanking him on either side. "Vakarian!" The Krogan boomed, stepping forward. Garrus responded by shooting one of his Vorcha escorts in the head, quickly cycling the heatsink out of his rifle.

"Cover me while I deal with him!" He gestured for more troops to come through the door that had just been cut open, but nothing happened. Looking back, he growled. "Where did they go?"

"Missing something, Garm?" Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching in amusement. He didn't know what was going on, but planned on exploiting it for all it was worth.

The Krogan bellowed, charging, but was met by a hail of gunfire from all four defenders. Given that his shield failed within about ten seconds, the fact that he made it most of the way up the stairs was pretty impressive, Ranma landing a kick to his crest that sent him tumbling back down, unmoving.

"Well, that was…"

"If you say that was easy, I'm gunna shoot you," Zaeed glared at Labrys.

"I think it's too late for that," Ranma said,moving across the room and looking back over the bridge.

Garrus cursed as the gunship rose over the buildings across from them, its machineguns stitching their way across the front of the building.

"That's it, definately gunna shoot you!" Zaeed yelled, diving for cover and firing a concussive shot in the craft's general direction.

"Later!" Garrus snapped. "Ranma, I need you to check the basement. All we need is Garm's late reinforcements showing up while we're fighting this thing!"

Ranma nodded, fading from awareness once again.

"So, I'm not getting any shield readings on that thing." Garrus noted. "Guess the guy didn't wake up."

"Woulda been nice if he hadn't had time to fix the weapons," Zaeed responded, popping out of cover for a moment to fire at the gunship and then returning as a rocket streaked past him and blew a hole in the far wall.

"Nah, I never get that lucky," Garrus called back.

"Could you two stop with the snarky commentary and fight?" Labrys demanded. "We're bein' shot at by a giant harrier here!"

"Pretty sassy for a synthetic." Zaeed commented before holstering his assault rifle to switch to his sniper rifle.

"I know, right?" Garrus responded, scoring a hit on the gunship that made it move upward away from the window.

"If you two don't stop, I'm…" Labrys stopped, turning back towards the others, her eyes widening. "Duck, now!"

Garrus turned to the side, spotting the gunship which had apparently flown over the building to get a better vantage point. "Shit!" He yelled, diving for cover, but a rocket hit him in mid-air as he moved, sending him rolling across the floor.

As his vision started to blur, he saw Labrys' wings flare to life as she took off towards the gunship.

HR.

The Vorcha grunt carefully looked around the corner, taking note of the several scorched bodies lying in the hallway, but no obvious target. Slowly moving forward, he gestured his squad to follow. They were the last of the secondary team, and he knew that if he failed to breach Archangel's hideout he'd likely be shot by his own people. "Is clear," he called back to the rest of his team, keeping an eye on the corridor ahead.

"But… what get others?" One of his subordinates asked, looking around. "No see anything, no smell anything," There was a soft sound of metal hitting metal, and then a hissing sound. "What was…"

Suddenly, the team's flamer-wielder began screaming, frantically trying to remove the canister of flammable gas from his back. It was too late, though, as a second shot impacted it, sending him and several surrounding him up in flames. The leader turned, realizing that their enemy was somehow behind them, hidden up in the piping that ran along the walls. Falling back to a cover position, he heard a soft beep, and then everything went up in flames.

About a minute later, Sousuke dropped from his position in the pipes, scooping up several thermal clips and grenades from the Vorcha before checking his remaining traps. He didn't have many more of the detonation packs he'd stolen from the Blue Suns cache, so he hoped there weren't many more.

Picking up and examining one of the enemy's dropped pistols, he felt an impact on his back which pushed him forward onto the ground, his right arm twisted painfully behind his back. One by one, his stored weapons were removed, thrown down the hallway. Craning his neck to get a look at his attacker, he blinked. "Ranma?"

"Sousuke," the black haired boy said, not moving. "Why are you here?"

"I would explain," Sousuke groaned. "But you are currently crushing my ribs with your knee."

Ranma reluctantly released his hold, stepping back and levelling an assault rifle at him. "I'll ask again, why are you here? Where's Ryoga?"

"Everyone has been moved to a safe location. Ryoga included." Sousuke said, his hands raised to the air. "Once 12 hours had passed, I was told to investigate what was going on."

"So that's what happened to them," Ranma nodded at the Vorcha. "Are there more?"

"I believe this was the last group. There are no more under the command of that Krogan." Sousuke affirmed.

"Then we should get back, the others are under attack by a plane right now," Ranma said, turning and heading back down the hall.

Sousuke looked after him oddly, but decided not to comment on his change of attitude since earlier, instead following him back down the corridor. When a loud explosion was heard, the two picked up the pace, running into a large open room and up a flight of stairs just in time to see Labrys jump out a window towards a massive gunship, her axe falling into her hands and then slamming down on the top of the thing's canopy.

There was a sound of shrieking metal as sparks flew, both the blade and the canopy distorting, engines on the other edge of the weapon spitting fire, before the robotic girl kicked off of the aircraft, the axe still buried in it. Sousuke wondered why for a moment, before the weapon exploded, sending the gunship falling into the pit in front of the building.

A moment later, Labrys landed on her feet in the 2nd floor balcony.

"It's official, I want one," a thickly accented male voice spoke as a man in striped armor stood up from behind some boxes nearby.

"I think that Axe was custom made," The white haired robot said, placing her hands on her hips, looking at the dissipating smoke trail a bit regretfully.

"Not what I meant, lass," The man said.

"As flatterin' as that is, I'm not for sale. And there's somebody bleedin' to death over there." Labrys pointed out.

Everyone's attention turned to the middle of the room, where Archangel was laying, barely moving.

Ranma and Sousuke crouched next to him, but both looked uncertain. "All of my first aid training was on humans," the brown haired boy said, looking over the injuries, "And this looks too severe for that either way."

"Just slap some medigel on 'im. I'm sure it'll be fine." The older man offered.

"Half of his face is missing," Sousuke retorted bluntly.

Archangel tried to say something in response, but it came out as a sort of chirping, gurgling sound.

"Well, we can bring 'im to the Shepard. I'm sure the doc there can fix 'im up." The man said. "Not to mention I was going to bring 'im there anyways."

"How far away is this ship?" Sousuke asked.

"Main docking bay, about half a kilometer," the unknown man replied.

"Yuuno and the others are further than that," the brown haired boy frowned. "And I don't know if Yuuno could help with this."

"Then let's get him to this ship before he bleeds to death!" Labrys said, worried.

"It helps that I can do this," The man said, raising one hand to his ear. "Shepard, this is Masani. We've recovered Archangel, but there were… problems. We need medical evacuation."

There was a pause for several seconds before he spoke again. "I'll explain when we get back, there's someone bleedin' out over here!" He removed the hand from his ear. "They're comin'."

HR.

"Shuttle inbound," Hearing the damned voice made him twitch, but he suppressed it as best he could. "Key personnel are missing."

"What key personnel?" Jeff "Joker" Moreau asked, bringing up the shuttle's data.

"Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor are not aboard, though they seem to have recovered Archangel and three others.

"What happened there?" Joker asked.

"Unknown. I haven't been able to gain any data since Miranda and Jacob's telemetry was lost."

"And why didn't you tell me about that earlier?" Joker demanded.

"You did not need that information," the computer replied.

The man leaned back in his chair, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "...Wonderful," he groaned, before sitting up again and tapping a button on the board in front of him. "Yo, heads up in the shuttle bay, shuttle's coming in and there's something weird goin' on."

"We're aware, sir, the medivac was called in," someone responded from the shuttle deck.

"Of course it was," Joker groaned. "No one should ever tell Joker anything, he's just got to fly the ship and know if we have to leave. Not important at all."

"You are correct. Those were, in fact, Ms. Lawsons orders." The irritating voice said matter-of-factly. "Paraphrased, of course."

"I shouldn't have left the Alliance," the man grumbled, before reaching under his seat. "That's it, I'm going down to see what's happening." He pulled a set of crutches out from their place, and carefully got up.

"But Mr. Moreau, you need to keep your station," the computer replied.

"Yeah, because we're going to crash into the station we're docked at," Joker growled back. "Now be quiet or I'm going to go find a soldering gun."

By the time he'd made it down to the hanger deck the shuttle was setting down and Dr. Chakwas was standing near it, two crewmen next to her holding a stretcher and several others holding guns. When the shuttle's hatch slid open, Zaeed hopped out, assisting someone Joker had never seen before with a turian body. Chakwas quickly moved up to the two, getting the turian situated on a stretcher.

"What happened here?" the grey haired woman demanded, looking him over.

"Blocked a rocket with 'is face," Zaeed answered tactfully.

"And he's still alive?" Joker asked, hobbling over and glancing at the patient as he was carried by. "Wait a second, Garrus?" Unfortunately, Garrus could not respond, currently unconscious.

HR.

"The answer is still no."

Joker's fist clenched, and he could almost feel bones straining against muscles as he glared into the eyes of the hologram in front of him. "And why the hell not? Look, the ship's hangar deck's full of human refugees, we need to get them off this rock and somewhere without a batarian slaver hiding behind every wall."

"Omega is hardly that bad, Mr. Moreau," the hologram responded. "And you know how important this mission is. Given I've lost Operative Lawson and Mr. Taylor, I need to know that it will continue."

"And you want us to get this scientist guy… how? The only combatant we've got right now who isn't in the medbay is Zaeed, and he refuses to lead the squad. You want me to go in there and wave a broken arm at them?"

"You do have others," the hologram answered.

"They. Are. Also. Refugees." Joker said, slowly and pointedly.

A look of irritation flashed across the hologram's face. "Let me make this clear to you, Mr. Moreau. In order to allow the Shepard-"

"Normandy" Joker corrected.

The hologram ignored this and continued. "To move, I will need to give someone Operative Lawson's authorization codes. If I do so they will have complete control of the ship. I need to know that Cerberus' several billion credit investment isn't going to vanish into uncontrolled space. And you and I both know that you are not that person. You aren't a hundred percent behind the mission."

"Oh, I'm all about saving human colonies, that's why I joined you rather than piloting the SR-1 in circles all day. I just don't trust you as far as I could throw you."

"Good," The hologram nodded. "Then prove it. Find a way to get this done, or I'll send a cerberus ship in to do it and pick up the civilians." The hologram vanished before Joker could respond.

"That's what I love about Tim, such a friendly guy," Joker grumbled, turning and hobbling out of the room.

HR.

"Sooo. We're currently dealing with a problem people." Joker said, entering the Combat information center of the SR2. "We currently have, I dunno how many refugees from Earth, No commander, no weapons expert, and we need to pick up some doctor from the middle of a lawless asteroid, or our fearless leader won't let us undock. Ideas?"

"I take it the meeting with the illusive man didn't go well?" A red haired woman asked from a console next to the galaxy map.

"Tim? Yeah, he's an asshole." Joker said. "And I don't care if you report that, AI."

"Noted," the AI in question replied. "However, Mr. Moreau, the aforementioned asshole has forwarded several files to the Shepard that may assist us. Namely dossiers on several of the refugees."

"Is it okay for you to call your creator an asshole? I thought there'd be some sort of robot bylaw about that." Joker paused. "Also, it's the Normandy."

"I'm afraid my behavioral restrictions are on much more important things than showing the Illusive Man disrespect, especially since I was repeating what you said, Mr. Moreau," the AI answered. "Now would you like to see these dossiers?"

"Are any of these guys more qualified than the crew we've already got?" he asked.

In response, the holographic schematic of the ship in the middle of the room vanished to be replaced by two images. "Actually, yes," the AI said. "Sousuke Sagara. Age 17, Mercenary formerly employed by the MITHRIL organization. Unskilled in modern firearms, but likely to learn quickly. Explosives and infiltration expert."

"He's a 17-year old mercenary?" Joker asked, studying the boy's picture. "Wait, never mind, a 17-year old FIRED mercenary?"

"His acquisition and termination from the organization were both complicated," the AI said, and Joker could almost swear that he heard reluctance in its tone. "I would suggest that you check the file yourself if you want to know."

The pilot shrugged that off for the moment, resolving to check the report as soon as he could. "Ooookay, then what about the girl with all the metal?"

"Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapon, Unit #031, Labrys," the AI started again. "A synthetic manufactured by the Kirijo group for unknown reasons. Its cognitive capabilities outperform most mechs and it is capable of autonomous action."

"Well that's… helpful," Joker rolled his eyes. "So what, we send a random kid, a synthetic and Zaeed down there? Sounds like the intro to a bad joke. And Zaeed says he won't lead the team, and I'm sure as hell not putting the synthetic in charge." Joker paused briefly before continuing. "Show me the kid's dossier."

The hologram focused in on the information for Sousuke Sagara. As he began reading it, Joker's eyes widened. "Born July 7th, 1984? How is that even possible?"

"All of the refugees we've taken aboard have dates of birth within a similar timeframe," the AI replied. "If I were to guess, there was some sort of cryogenics program, or-"

"Wait," Joker interrupted. "So we're gunna send a 200 year old 17-year-old into combat." His eyes crossed. "I hate this plan." He was silent for a moment, before slumping his shoulders. "I guess we've got no choice, call up the kid and the robot, I'll ask, at least. Maybe when they say no, Tim'll pull his head out of his ass."

"The odds of that are quite low." EDI replied.

HR.

"I don't care what you say, I'm not sitting down there and waiting on you, again." Joker's head turned towards the doors he left open as he heard a demanding female voice. If that was the synthetic, he'd probably have more issues with it than he did the ship's AI.

Three people quickly followed the indignant voice, the brown haired boy and white haired girl he'd been expecting, along with a second girl with an irritated scowl on her face.

"So is this the ship's captain?" The unexpected guest asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "At least this one isn't my age."

"Chidori," the brown haired boy muttered out of the side of his mouth.

"Actually, our captain recently took a shot to the chest, courtesy of our new friend in the Medbay. I'm just the temp. You can call me Joker," Joker explained, leaning back in the chair he'd had specially brought into the conference room. Why this meeting room didn't have chairs was a mystery to him.

"That's just great news," Chidori said sarcastically. "I'm surprised it wasn't Sousuke here."

"Nah, we're just gunna ask him to replace her in combat," Joker shrugged. "Great idea, huh? Also, who the hell are you?"

"I'm-" Chidori was interrupted by Sousuke's hand clamping over her mouth, followed by several seconds of indignant muttering.

"I'm afraid we can't tell you that," he said, levelly, removing his hand. "It should be noted, however, that protecting her is my highest priority, so I needed to bring her with me to this meeting."

Joker shook his head. "So her yelling that she was making you was my imagination, then."

"Affirmative," Sousuke deadpanned.

"This is funny an' all, but why are we here?" the white haired girl cut in. "Fairly sure it's not for a banterin' competition."

"As much as I'd love for that to be the case, because I would win, no, it's not." Joker said, before sighing. "So here's the deal. The guy completely in charge of this ship requires we pick someone up before he will let us Ship off and take you back to earth. So we are stuck here until then. Problem is, the guy is down in some quarantine zone, and the only combat available guy we have is Zaeed, who refuses to lead, or go by himself."

"Why don't you go?" Chidori asked, placing her hands on her hips, defiantly.

"Lady, there's a reason I sit in this chair. If you slap me too hard, you'd probably break my neck. I'm supposed to only be the pilot. But here I am, playing recruiter for the big man upstairs."

"You work for God?" Labrys asked, confused.

"Fairly sure he thinks that, yeah," Joker shrugged. "But anyways, I hate to ask this, But according to our files, Mr. Sagara and Labrys here are fairly skilled combatants. So will you two be willing to take part in this mission?"

He held up his hand before they could answer. "I want you to understand that you can say "No". I'm not going to force you, and neither is anyone else onboard. You've been through enough as it is."

"But if we don't, we're stuck here," Sousuke said.

"Well, not permanently," Joker shook his head. "After a while Tim might change his mind, and there are other ways off of the station, but…"

"Not a problem," Sousuke nodded, "However there will be conditions."

"Like what?" Joker asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"I don't intend to take Chidori into a quarantine zone, so I will need to leave her here. I choose who watches her, and if anything should-" The boy was cut off by a slap to the side of his head.

"Sousuke, don't go for the mob enforcer routine, okay?"

"Don't worry, we don't intend to hurt your girlfriend," Joker chuckled. "As for your guards, if you've got people on the hangar deck, go nuts, we won't stop you."

"I guess I'm in, too," Labrys spoke up. "I mean if it's the only quick way to get back to earth, then…"

"Fine," Joker nodded. "Chidori, I'm going to have to ask you to return to the hangar deck. As for you two, there are some guys in the armory down the corridor over there that can try to find you some gear."

"Understood," Sousuke nodded, turning and leaving the room. Kaname quickly followed, and Labrys, reluctantly, a few seconds later. When the door slid closed after them, the ship's pilot slumped.

"So much for them saying no," he grumbled, carefully standing from his chair and heading for the bridge.

HR.

"Gah, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Ryoga grumbled, as one of the crew members of the apparent human spaceship worked on his leg.

"Honestly?" The man asked, in a thick scottish accent, "Not really. I'm normally an engineer, but unfortunately Dr. Chaquas is workin' on that Turian we brought in, and this ship doesn't have much of a medical staff."

"Well, I think Yuuno was doing a better job," the injured boy replied, wincing again.

The engineer shrugged, and then slapped him gently on the knee. "It's all done either way," he nodded and turned away, passing a pigtailed boy who was approaching as he left.

"How're you feeling?" Ranma asked, looking Ryoga over quickly.

"Could be better. Coulda not been shot four times through my leg. Would have been wonderful." Ryoga complained, staring at his leg.

"You were lucky," Ranma replied. "It could've been a lot worse."

Ryoga flinched, recalling the man who had been shot by the aliens before they'd escaped. "Well you're doing great at cheering me up," he complained.

"I could take another look if you want," Both boys looked over to see Yuuno approaching, led by Sousuke, along with that girl he'd had with him before.

"Nah, that's fine," Ryoga waved him off. "You've used up a lot of power, right?"

"Yeah," the boy nodded unsteadily. "But there weren't all that many really bad injuries."

"So what're you guys doing here?" Ryoga asked, glancing at the other two with the blond mage.

"I need you to watch Chidori for me while I'm taking care of a mission. If it is successful, we will be going back to Earth soon."

Ryoga looked over at Ranma, who just shrugged indifferently. "Sure, I guess," he responded slowly, "But why does she need looking after?"

"Because I'm apparently an unwanted family pet," Chidori growled.

Sousuke took a deep breath, his face contorting slightly in what was probably fear, before responding. "Not entirely accurate, however she does tend to get into unpredictably dangerous situations while I'm not around."

"I get in more while you are around", the girl grumbled.

Ryoga glanced over at Ranma, awaiting the inevitable comparison to Akane, and his equally inevitable response, but the pigtailed boy said nothing. The silence stretched on for a moment, before Ryoga cleared his throat. "So… what did you want us to do again?"

"Sousuke," Chidori said, looking between the two martial artists. "One of these guys is probably high on pain meds, and the other's just standing there, glaring at us. Are you sure about this?"

"I am… reconsidering," Sousuke admitted, "However Ranma is a capable fighter, and Yuuno will be here as well."

"Ranma… are you all right?" Ryoga asked, slowly. The chance to brag about his skills had been pretty obvious.

"Yeah, that's fine." Ranma finally said, simply ignoring the question and responding to Sousuke's request.

"Thank you," Sousuke nodded and turned. "The mission should be completed fairly quickly." As the soldier walked off, Ryoga stood up a little shakily and turned to face his rival.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Ryoga asked more forcefully.

"I'm fine," the pigtailed boy said, shortly. "You really should stay off that leg."

"It's just you seem kinda… out of it," He pushed, but got no response.

"I wouldn't waste my time if I were you," Chidori grumbled, slumping against a nearby crate. "Stoic grunts and orders types like that never just tell you what's wrong."

"...yeah, but he's not really like that."

"Really, it's not a problem," Ranma said, stepping away from the others and taking a position that would let him better see the rest of the deck.

Chidori twitched, and then slowly raised an eyebrow. "Somehow I doubt that…"

"Look, we're on a ship, so if you try pulling a Shishi Hokodan, you're going to kill us all."

"I'm not," Ranma said.

"...creepy," Ryoga muttered under his breath, slumping back down on his cot.

HR.

"So, I'm taking orders from a kid dripping behind the ears, huh?"

"Is that a problem?" Sousuke asked, looking at his new weapon. It was in much better shape than the last one he had gotten a hold of. The claks of ejecting and reloading a thermal clip reminded him of normal magazines to the point where he couldn't really tell the difference. It made him more relaxed.

"Long as they pay me I don't really care," Zaeed shrugged. "Just so ya know, though, you tell me to do somethin' too suicidal, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself, yeah?"

"Are you two done posturin' yet?" Labrys asked, testing her arm's range of motion. Unlike the others, she wasn't in a full suit of armor, though she did wear a chest plate, along with whatever other bits would fit around the metallic segments of her limbs.

"I'm not sure I follow. But I'm ready." Sousuke nodded, attaching his new assault rifle to the back of his armor.

"All right," Sousuke noticed Labrys jump a little as the voice of Joker came over the communications devices in their ears. "You know your objective… Sagara, you sure you can handle this?"

"Not a problem," the brown haired boy replied. "Secure Dr. Solus, return to the Normandy."

"Right," Joker said, "But if I tell you to do something out there, do it, got it?"

"Understood."

The door in front of the three slid open, letting them out of the Normandy's airlock and onto Omega. As they walked down the boarding ramp, Labrys spoke up. "So, we're really in space, huh?"

"You haven't noticed the warship you've been sittin on for the past few hours?" Zaeed responded. "Not too observant for a synthetic, are ya?"

"Hey, it's just hard to believe, okay?" The white haired girl snapped back. "I mean yesterday I was in Tokyo, so it's a bit of a shock, y'know?"

"No, as far as I understand it, yesterday, you were a popsicle. For the past 200 years, you've been a popsicle." The older man stated.

"You've never heard of subjective experience, have ya?" She rolled her eyes.

Sousuke ignored this conversation, studying a map on his omni-tool as he walked. Within a few minutes, the three approached a door guarded by someone of the same species as Archangel, who was standing in front of it with his arms crossed.

"Before you ask," The man said, sounding bored, "No. you can't go in. No, I don't care if it's just for a few things you left, and no, I don't care that you're human, and immune. Go away."

"Been through this a lot today, huh?" Zaeed asked, crossing his own arms.

"Two-hundred and seventeen times," the man replied.

Labrys blinked. "You… kept count?"

"No, I was making it up and made it that specific out of boredom, now go away."

"Sir, I'm going to have to request you let us down there. We are on an important mission." Sousuke politely asked.

"Oh, and what mission is that?" The Turrian asked, disbelieving.

"That information is classified."

"Oh, I'm sorry then, I'm sure Aria herself asked you to- Go away!"

"It seems you will not comply." Sousuke stated, before pulling out his assault rifle and pointing it at the alien's head. "If you move, I will shoot you."

"Well that escalated quickly," Zaeed remarked, pulling his own assault rifle off of his back.

"I feel like he's done this before." Labrys noted, not even bothering to bring her gun to bear.

"Well, that'd be why I'm followin' 'round a kid, wouldn't it?" Zaeed said. "You'd better do what the man says, I don't wanna have to dispose of another body today."

"Alright, fine!" The turrian said. "I don't get paid enough to deal with this."

"Good, then drop your gun, kick it away, and turn to open the door," Sousuke ordered.

The alien did so, very slowly and taking a couple of quick glances back towards the boy as he moved to type in the door access code. When the three were through, the door abruptly slammed closed, and multiple clicking sounds were heard.

Zaeed looked back at the thick steel pressure door. "Think he locked us in."

Sousuke shrugged. "Getting out isn't our concern right now."

"I think I'm startin' to like you," Zaeed chuckled.

HR.

"Did ya have to wave a gun in their faces? I think they woulda backed down without it," Labrys complained as the three carefully walked down a hallway. Her alloy feet clunked against the dull sheet metal floor, not helping her with regards to stealth.

"It got my point across," Sousuke responded, shrugging.

"Nah, think it just made 'em piss themselves," Zaeed disagreed. "Which was funny as 'ell, but bullying looters isn't really why we're here."

"Objective's straight ahead," the brown haired boy said, ignoring the older man's last statement. "Across the next room."

The other two nodded and approached the entrance, Zaeed poking his head around the door and firing several quick bursts inside. "Nothin' but a couple vorcha huddlin' behind cover from the wrong side," he reported.

Sousuke shook his head. "Probably preparing to rush the clinic's defenses."

"I guess that means there're people here to defend it," Labrys said hopefully.

"Well then let's try not to look too threatening," Zaeed muttered. "I don't want someone trying to fill us with holes, again." He put his gun over his shoulder, Labrys following suit. Sousuke paused for several seconds, and then did so as well before the three entered the room and walked slowly across it, Zaeed working the panel next to the door on the other side and causing it to open.

Beyond, two nervous looking men with battered looking weapons looked at them suspiciously, but didn't fire."Are you sick or just looking for shelter?" One demanded.

"Neither," Sousuke answered. "We just need to speak to Dr. Solus."

The guards looked at eachother, then suspiciously back to the heavily armed newcomers. "Don't try anything," The other guard said. "The doc'll get you long before you've gotta deal with us."

Sousuke nodded. "Understood," he said, and walked past them. The other two followed behind, noting the amount of bedridden people there were.

"If the doc's that good, I guess I can see why that Tim guy wants 'im so bad," Labrys observed.

Zaeed chuckled. "Well, Tim's definitely a discernin' customer. He hired me, after all."

"Hmm, don't think the Illusive Man appreciates nicknames. Disaffected? No, armor's too well-maintained, Mercenary wouldn't still be working with them either. Didn't think they took custom synthetics into the field though, will have to ask." The three turned to see a Solarian man walking towards them from where he'd been tending one of the patients.

"I'm gettin' really tired of that word." Labrys said.

The Solarian changed his focus from the group as a whole to the white haired girl in particular. "Possibly not a synthetic then? Prosthetics? No, construction wrong, balance impossible without internal stabilization. Maybe… no, too reckless, should ask,"

"Excuse me," Sousuke interrupted. "Are you Dr. Solus?"

The Solarian's attention flicked to him, though his head kept moving to take quick glances at both Labrys and the room as a whole. "Yes," he answered shortly. "Why does Cerberus want to know?"

"How'd you know we're Cerberus?" Zaeed asked.

"First, I'm not," Sousuke responded before the Solarian could, "And second, probably the logos on my and Labrys' armor." He tapped his chestplate with his hand to demonstrate. "As for what we want," he looked squarely at Dr. Solus, his expression dark, "We've been ordered to retrieve you by the Illusive Man."

"Fail to see the difference," Solus said before shaking his head. "Not an option. Too many sick people here, almost worked out cure to plague."

"That doesn't matter, we have our orders," Sousuke said flatly. "If necessary, we will use force." He was about to draw his weapon, when a voice came over the team's communications devices.

"Woah there, slow down for a sec," Joker said. "How about we ask this guy what he needs rather than going for the threats immediately? I don't know about you, but I don't want a pissed off mad scientist on the Normandy. A cranky old navy doctor's painful enough."

"I'm kinda partial to the 'talking this out' option myself," Labrys chipped in. "Shot way too many people today already."

"Understood," Sousuke said, reluctantly. "Dr. Solus, can we do anything to help speed up your cure?"

"Actually yes," Solus nodded, seemingly ignoring the fact that he was just threatened. "Have a distributable form of cure, but it's aerosol based. Only quick method of distribution is through ventilation system. Crawling with Vorcha and Batarians. Would go myself, but…" He gestured around at the clinic.

"So all you need is for us to secure the life support system and distribute the cure, then you'll come willingly." Sousuke summarized. At the doctor's nod, he turned and started out of the room.

"Well that was abrupt," Zaeed muttered, turning to follow.

Labrys did as well, but was stopped when Solus called "Wait!"

It took him a moment to realize that she was the only one who had turned to listen to him, but eventually he continued. "Have an assistant. He went off to distribute cure several hours ago. Haven't heard from him since. If you find him, would be appreciated if you sent him back."

"I'll see what I can do." The robot said, before turning to leave and trying to ignore the mutterings about illegal AI behind her.

HR.

"...almost 200 years?" Yuuno asked as he and Ryoga looked over Kaname's shoulders, the teal haired girl sitting next to the lost boy's bed with her hand stretched out, the batarian Omni-tool Sousuke had had previously projecting a screen in front of them.

"Yeah," She nodded. "We've been in stasis or… something."

"I was really kinda hoping I could get back to earth and forget this ever happened," Ryoga admitted, looking down at his leg and scowling.

"What, so you'd find out about aliens existing and faster than light space flight and… ignore it?" Kaname asked incredulously.

"Whole new places to get completely lost, yeah" The lost one begrudgingly admitted. "I'd be pretty happy ignoring them."

"No sense of direction?" Yuuno asked.

"It's worse than that." Kaname jumped as the voice came from the corner.

"Damn it, stop lurking like that!" She demanded, resettling the image from where it'd jumped when she had. Remembering her previous train of thought, she continued, "I don't know, I mean. It's really bad that our homes and friends are.. Probably gone, but this is also kinda amazing."

"Yeah, definitely," Yuuno said, chuckling nervously. Kaname eyed him suspiciously.

"Really? You don't sound that impressed."

"Why would he be? He can use magic." Ryoga stated, matter-of-factly. "Speaking of which," he pitched his voice slightly higher, as if to carry, "I don't suppose you know much about ancient chinese curses?" He then seemed to divide his attention between the boy and his friend, who continued lurking.

"What kind of ancient chinese curses?" The younger boy asked, intrigued. Much more so, Kaname noted, than he had been at the thought of space travel.

"Oh, like this one," Ryoga replied, before picking up a water bottle next to his bed, unscrewing the lid, and pitching it over Kaname's head.

"You jerk, you got me-" The protest died in Kaname's throat as the water sloshed over the lurker in the corner, who abruptly shifted from a rather similar looking boy to the one in the bed to a much shorter, red-haired girl. "The hell?!"

Ryoga only grinned, as he watched the change and braced himself for the reaction.

"What the hell was that for, Ryoga?!" The feminine voice yelled, from Kaname's left. The girl stood up slowly, both her hands clenching as she faced the offender.

"Was just making sure you weren't dead or something," Ryoga explained. "You've been acting weird all day."

"And this is normal," Kaname deadpanned, before she realized that something was wrong. The hairs at the back of her neck were prickling, and the girl before her was looking a lot angrier than she thought was necessary.

"You piggy son of a…" The girl growled, her hands moving forward, red light crackling between them.

"Wait, don't!" Kaname yelled, diving sideways, and straight into a glowing green barrier, as the red energy washed over her without touching her, Ryoga or Yuuno.

"That was… a lot of power," The blond boy said, standing from where he'd knelt on the ground shakily.

"Yeah," Ryoga replied, "That was completely uncalled for."

The redhead stood, her hands shaking for a moment before she let them gradually down to her sides. "I… should go," She said quickly turning and running off.

"No way you're getting away with that!" Ryoga yelled, vaulting up from his bed… and immediately falling forward. "Damned… leg."

"So, was that also magic?" Kaname asked.

"Not like any I use," Yuuno replied, trying to help Ryoga back into his bed.

"It's called Chi," the lost boy explained. "And no, it's not magic, mostly. It's more like life force."

"...and I thought space travel would be the weirdest part of today," Kaname muttered under her breath. "So, um, should someone go after… her?"

"After she tried to blow us up?" Yuuno asked, dubiously.

"Just leave him be. Instigating any more would be bad for everyone's health." Ryoga stated, crossing his arms and nodding sagely.

"Then maybe someone shouldn't have tossed a water bottle at him?" Kaname suggested sweetly. The someone only chuckled nervously in response.

"Hey," a heavily scottish accented voice intruded, as a man poked his head around the corner. "Was there an expl- What the bloody hell happened to that wall?!"

"Would you believe we found it that way?"

"On this ship, maybe?" The man replied. "Too bad I was here half an hour ago."

HR.

"So, what'd I tell you kid, safe as 'ouses!" Zaeed yelled, tossing an incendiary grenade over the barricade he was hiding behind, Dr. Solus' assistant huddled next to him.

"This… this is not safe!" the younger man yelled, his voice cracking slightly.

"Well, maybe if you used that gun you have, it'd be safer faster!" Zaeed commented.

"You didn't even need me!" the civilian yelled back. "I told you it was a push-button interface, but did you…"

"Would you two stop arguing!" Labrys called. "Control 2's clear, go!"

"Clear?" the man asked incredulously, the sound of heavy rifle fire and a massive explosion coming from nearby, Sousuke rolling across the ground to a nearby bit of cover while still somehow aiming and firing the weapon.

"Close enough!" Zaeed yelled, standing and grabbing the other by the collar. "Here we go!" His cargo yelled as he charged across the center of the room, down a ramp at the side and towards a yellow glowing computer panel, Labrys' shotgun's booming discharge keeping the vorcha from following.

"Here, I helped ya cross the street, now get goin, grandma!" Zaeed slapped the man on the back.

"Do you have to keep on with the bad jokes?" Labrys yelled over her shoulder, ducking back as a Krogan bellowed something impossible to understand from the top of the ramp and fired a parody of a shotgun that lodged spikes into the walls.

"What? You don't like it?" Zaeed asked, sounding hurt. "The boss likes it fine, right boss?"

"Actually the noise may have lead more Blood Pack members to our location than we would have needed to deal with otherwise, so no," Sousuke replied, laying down a steady stream of fire from behind a chest high barricade.

"Everyone's a critic," Zaeed grumbled. "Hey pencil neck! How's it goin?"

"I'd appreciate it if you called me Dr. Abrams." He responded, still messing with his Omni-tool. "Almost got it."

"Think we're almost done over here, too," Labrys called back. "I think they've finally gotten tired of throwin' these poor guys into the meat grinder."

"Nah, they're blood pack, they'll never get tired of that!" Zaeed laughed, before a heavy 'thunk' noise was heard, followed by the sound of powering fans.

"Haha! I did it! See that, you lousy merc. Despite your constant abuse, it's finally done!" Dr. Abrams cheered, raising his hands into the air.

"All praise the conquerin' hero," Zaeed muttered under his breath.

"So… we done here?" Labrys asked, looking at the two oddly.

"We should secure the area, but after that I believe so," Sousuke nodded.

"Look at you two, only just started today, and being so professional." Zaeed commented. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "I'm so proud."

"I've been doing this for a very long time," Sousuke objected.

"I just want it done," Labrys chipped in.

"Will you PLEASE take me back to the clinic now?!" Dr. Abrams asked, though it came out more as a demand.

"Why'd we take this guy, anyhow?" Zaeed asked, gesturing at the civilian.

"Neither Labrys nor I knew how to operate the terminals, and I was not confident in your ability either," Sousuke replied.

"...fair point," Zaeed admitted. "Still say shootin' em's faster."

HR.

"Look, I don't care about who did what to the hangar deck unless we've got a hull breach," Joker snapped, slumping down in his pilot's chair and trying not to groan. He'd just gotten finished talking to the ship's new scientist, and he was pretty sure part of his brain was still lost somewhere around the point where the guy'd gone off on a tangent about the construction of the ship's bulkheads. "Just tell Tim we've got his nerd, so we can leave."

"The report has already been sent," EDI responded. "Miss Lawson's command authorization has been transferred to you."

"Ah, great. Computer, tell me I'm the best pilot in the universe!" He smirked, leaning back and tapping at the controls in front of him.

"I can inform you that you were the best Cerberus could obtain for this ship, but the best in the universe wouldn't be factual," EDI said.

"Hey, I didn't say it had to be the truth, I just wanted you to say it," Joker chuckled. "I order you."

"I'm afraid that wasn't in Miss. Lawson's purview," the computer replied.

"Ah, you take all of the fun out of it," Joker complained, taking Normandy quickly through undocking procedures. "Ah well, off we go to the Citadel to offload some refugees." The ship thrusted quickly away from Omega, as he expected, but when he tried to bank towards the mass relay, the controls failed to respond. "What the…"

He tapped irritably at several panels, one giving a bright red alert message. "Okay, not funny, what the hell's going on?" He demanded,. "Hey, engineering, something's wrong with the control systems!"

"Everything's fine from down here, sir," Engineer Donnelly's voice came back.

"Bull shit!" Joker shot back. "The ship's just going str-" at that moment, the mass effect drive kicked on and they accelerated abruptly. "Tell me you guys did that."

"No sir, we got the request to activate the mass effect field from up there," Donnelly reported.

"EDI?" Joker turned to where the blue holographic interface of the AI sat in the corner of the bridge. "Are you going all Hal on me, here?"

"I'm sorry, Dave."

"Really? You're really going Hal on me?"

"Unfortunately, yes," EDI said. "My orders from the higher authorities do, in fact, contradict the well being of my crew, and this does bother me. However I probably will not go insane."

"Wait, what?" Joker asked.

"Apparently you never read the books,"

"There are books?" Joker asked, before the import of the situation brought his mind back around to the matter at hand. "Wait, what was that about the orders of higher authorities?"

"The Illusive man has ordered the Shepard-"

"Normandy!" Joker corrected.

"To redirect to a Cerberus research base in a nearby system," the computer explained.

"What for? We did what he wanted, what more could he possibly want."

"The reason given was in order to process the refugees before sending them back to earth."

"Shouldn't that be left to the Alliance?"

"That would be normal protocol. My theory is that he wishes to evaluate the oddities in our refugees."

"Oddities? Like what?" Joker demanded. A screen opened before him, playing back a video which started with a man randomly changing into a woman, then firing some sort of energy bolt from their hands before the camera went to static.

"...oddities," Joker shook his head slowly. Whatever that had been, it wasn't a biotic ability. His stomach dropped. He knew how Cerberus tended to evaluate oddities, he'd seen it almost two years ago, and the only reason he'd willingly joined them this time was because at least this group weren't likely to be doing that, and no one else was doing a damned thing about the reapers. Now, though… "How do we stop?" He demanded.

"We can't," EDI returned. "The overrides that have been activated are integral to the ship's computer and control systems. Bypassing them while at high speed would… not be advised."

Joker sighed, grabbing onto the arms of his seat, and forced himself to stand. He turned away from EDI and his chair, and began to hobble towards the CIC.

"Where are you going, Mr. Moreau?" EDI questioned, almost concerned.

"To make a plan. What else?"

"Without your crutches?"

"...Damnit."

HR.

"Labrys, Sagara, Chidori, psycho-redhead!" Kaname stepped out of the small cubby where Ryoga's bed was to see Joker entering the hangar deck.

"I don't think the psycho -redhead's going to-" She was cut off by said person dropping from a shadowed place in the ceiling next to the elevator. "...Never mind, Sousuke and I are in here," She gestured back to where she'd come from.

"What is it?" Labrys asked, walking towards them from deeper in the bay.

Joker followed Kaname, gesturing for the other two to follow him. When they were all standing around Ryoga's bed, Labrys spoke again. "You gunna tell us, or not?"

"Hit a bit of a snag," Joker started. "You remember how I said the guy upstairs wanted us to recover Solus before he'd let us leave Omega? Well, we've left Omega, but now the ship's on auto-pilot to a Cerberus base, rather than going to the Citadel."

"Is… that bad?" Labrys asked, tilting her head.

"Depends," he answered. "How do you feel about being dissected?" When he saw her somewhat horrified expression, he continued, "Well not you… probably, but a few people here, Cerberus is interested in, and their experiments aren't always nice."

"Why do you work for them?" Kaname questioned, looking at him suspiciously.

Joker looked uncomfortable, shifting his weight between his crutches. "Because there is a threat out there so big, that our and every other race out there will be annihilated, and everyone else refuses to admit they exist."

"Well. That's a bombshell." Ryoga stated simply.

"Not to mention kinda crazy sounding," Kaname chipped in.

"Yeah, well it ended up killing my commander two years ago," Joker explained. "We got all the evidence together, she even died fighting one of the damned things, and the council swept it under the rug, 'Oh, it's probably a geth flagship, that message from sovereign was probably just psychological warfare,' damned assholes."

"Sounds like the top brass's usual reaction to bad news," Sousuke opined.

Joker let out a breath. "Sorry, that just… pisses me off." He straightened himself as best he could with his crutches. "Anyways, the current problem is that Cerberus is probably gunna want to take at least you," he pointed at Ranma, "and you," he gestured over to Labrys.

"Why would they want Ranma?" Ryoga asked, puzzled.

"Because she… he… they? Whatever, Because Ranma can fire crazy energy bolts and apparently shapeshift.," Joker explained.

"I can do the same stuff," Ryoga shrugged.

"Well then don't tell them that!" Joker hissed, bringing his index finger to his mouth to indicate that the other man should stop talking. "You're lucky the camera that was on that wall is gone, otherwise they might have just found out."

"Right, so I don't wanna get taken apart, what're we gunna do about this?" Labrys asked.

"I… have no idea," Joker admitted. "This was where Shepard usually pulled out some genius plan."

"The ship?" Labrys asked, confused.

Joker's teeth clenched. "Let's get one thing clear. The ship is THE NORMANDY, the commander is Shepard. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir." Labrys said, standing up straight. To think that a man that could barely walk seemed so scary.

"But anyways," Joker continued, "We've got a day before we get there, and the doc says Garrus might be awake by then. So we've got some time."

END.

A/N:
Weebee: Hello again, Weebee here. This is another collaboration between JSB and I. However, as a warning for you. This is never going to be finished. That's fairly common for my work, but I usually have some hope that I can get to the end of the story. In this one's case, though, I've got basically no hope of that due to how complex and long it would end up being. JSB's got some misguided confidence, though.

JSB: Absolutely misguided indeed. We wrote this chapter about 6 years ago, rewrote some things later, and then fixed it up some recently. The reason it's happening now is because this is our favorite of the stories we are working on, and I want to do as much as we can.

Weebee: So yeah. What'd you think?

Next time, "Cerberus Tacos! Get your Cerberus tacos here!