Chapter 5
Otabek hadn't known exactly what to expect on Canada Day, but the celebration wasn't that much different than Independence Day down in the States. TV stations broadcasted parades and concerts from all around the nation, pre-empting the regular programming, and the Leroys held a large barbecue in their backyard, inviting extended family and close friends. Though his parents had asked JJ to make an appearance at the barbecue to be polite, he hadn't stayed around for long, only making the rounds to say a quick "hello" to some of his aunts, uncles, and his elderly grandmother before excusing himself back to his room, feigning a stomachache.
Otabek wished he could do the same. JJ's relatives were all nice enough to his face, yet he couldn't help suspecting that every time he heard some of them – especially the older generation – slip into speaking French, they were talking about him behind his back, whispering things that would probably infuriate him if he actually understood what they were saying. Maybe he was just being paranoid, maybe they weren't even talking about him at all – although a particularly tense exchange between Alain and his uncle after Otabek had politely declined to try his wife's "world famous" tourtière made with ground pork lent some credence to his suspicions – but he tried his best not to call too much attention to himself, spending most of the time playing games in the pool with Madeleine, Philippe, and some of the younger Leroy cousins.
At least the (non-pork) food was delicious.
To cap off the national holiday, a large Canada Day event was being held at a local park.
"Otabek, do you have your phone on you?" Nathalie asked as Alain drove the Leroys' SUV into the public parking lot near the park and began searching for a free space.
Otabek patted his side, feeling for the cell phone in his jeans pocket. "Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, good. We'll probably leave shortly after the fireworks, so I'll call you when we're ready to go. Do you need any money or anything?"
"No, thanks, I brought some." It wasn't the first time the Leroys had generously offered him some pocket change, but Otabek always felt uneasy accepting. They already provided him with more than enough as his host family. "I'm good."
"I know it'll be tempting when you see all the food trucks and stalls they have set up, but try not to spend it all on food," Alain warned, tapping on the steering wheel while he waited for a red convertible to pull out of its space. "Limit yourself to a small treat or two if you really can't resist."
"I'll try." He was still pretty full from the barbecue, though, having taken advantage of Alain's permission to forget about his diet plan for the afternoon and eat as much as he wanted.
"And call us if you need anything," Nathalie added as Alain parked in the vacated spot.
"I will," he promised, unbuckling his seat belt and opening his door. "See you all later, and thanks again for the ride."
"You're welcome," Alain said, his smile dropping into a frown as he unbuckled his own seat belt. "It really is a shame that JJ didn't feel up to coming with us. He always used to love attending the Canada Day festivities…"
Since Madeleine and Philippe were getting off on the other side, Otabek closed his door, letting out a heavy sigh as he walked toward the entrance of the park, hands in his pockets.
Celebrating Canada Day wasn't the only thing JJ had skipped out on lately. Ever since his break-up with Isabella, he hadn't stepped foot on the ice. Instead, he spent his days mostly holed up in his bedroom, only emerging during breakfast and dinner to eat just enough to satisfy Alain and Nathalie before going back into hiding. The moaning of his daily late-night jerk-offs had been replaced by the strumming of dissonant chords on his guitar, accompanied by JJ's sorrowful voice singing lyrics of pain and heartbreak like the lead of some mediocre emo band from the early 2000s. Otabek half-expected JJ to give up his wardrobe of high-end athletic wear and designer clothes for tight black jeans, band T-shirts, and guyliner (which might actually be kind of hot, but that was beside the point).
Before they left, he had tried his best to convince JJ to come along with them, thinking it would do him good to have some fun and take his mind off of things for a little while, but it was no use. JJ seemed downright determined to wallow in his misery.
Well, perhaps it was for the best. Otabek wasn't all that interested in the festivities himself, truth be told, and probably would have stayed home, too, in normal circumstances, but he had heard through the grapevine that Rebecca Morris and her boyfriend planned to attend the gathering set up by one of the other skaters at the rink to watch the fireworks together. It was the perfect opportunity to find out if there was any truth behind her being the mysterious "Rebecca" Samantha had mentioned was behind the break-up.
If he could find her, that is… Otabek frowned as he paid his admission fee and passed through the entrance to the park. He hadn't realized just how huge the festival would be. There must have been at least a couple of thousand people in attendance, if not more, milling around and checking out the craft booths and carnival games set up around the area. Live music came from the direction of the stage, located on the west side of the park, and a line of food trucks were lined up on the east side, the enticing smells causing his stomach to rumble despite the barbecue he had eaten earlier.
Again, it reminded Otabek a lot of Independence Day back when he was living in the States. Leo had taken him to a similar festival for their last date before he had moved to Detroit, the two of them sharing one of their final kisses as fireworks blasted in the sky… Otabek shook his head, pushing the bittersweet memory away to focus on the task at hand.
Plans were for the group to meet up around fifteen minutes before the fireworks show, which was scheduled to begin at 10:00. Currently, it was only a few minutes after seven, which left Otabek over two and a half hours to kill until then. Preferably, he would like to talk to Rebecca before the group meet-up, not wanting to confront her with the other skaters around, but he didn't even know when she was expected to arrive at the festival. For all he knew, she and Gabriel only planned to drop by for the fireworks.
If that was the case, all he could do was keep an eye out for her while going around the festival and hope he ran into Rebecca by chance. It wasn't the best plan, but it would have to do.
Though the smells wafting from the east side of the park certainly were tempting – Alain had been right about that – Otabek decided to steer clear of the food trucks for now. He could eat later, once he worked up more of an appetite. Instead, he played a few carnival games, winning himself a cute white teddy bear with a red maple leaf embroidered on its tummy that he gave to a kid who none-too-subtly had her eye on it, and browsed the merchandise on display at the booths.
Like the bear, most of what was for sell leaned toward the overly patriotic, but one colorful booth was having a closeout sale on jewelry and accessories leftover from Pride Month, with the proceeds going toward a local LGBTQIA+ youth organization. Otabek selected a beaded bracelet in the bi flag colors from one of the displays, slipping it onto his right wrist after paying so he wouldn't have to lug around a plastic bag for hours.
By that time, a new band had taken the stage on the west end, Otabek's ears perking up as a familiar chorus filled the air.
I'm taking the long road home, have so much damnmore to see… Taking the long road home, learning what it means to be me and only me…
"Hey, is that Reckless Abandon?" Otabek asked the woman in flannel manning the booth.
"In the flesh," she said with a grin. "It's the second year in a row they've played here. I saw their gig last year, and I swear, for a moment, I almost turned bi during one of Nick's guitar solos. The things that man can do with his fingers…" She fanned at her face. "Shame I'm working during this year's show, but I definitely recommend checking it out if you're a fan. Trust me, you won't be disappointed."
"Thanks, I might just do that."
After dropping his leftover change into the donation jar sitting on the booth counter, Otabek began heading toward the west side of the park.
Maybe Rebecca was checking out the concert, too? Even if she wasn't, it couldn't hurt to stay and listen to at least one or two songs. It wasn't every day a person got the chance to see a free live concert featuring one of their all-time favorite bands, after all.
There were no proper seats in front of the stage. Some of the concert goers had come prepared, bringing either folding chairs or blankets to lay on the ground, but the vast majority remained standing, swaying and singing along to the lyrics. Though Otabek usually considered his short stature more of a blessing than a curse – it was easier to jump when your body was more compact – for once he wished he was at least a few centimeters taller, finding it difficult to get a good view of the stage without craning his neck and standing on his toes. He weaved through the crowd, muttering "Excuse me"s and badly accented "Excusez-moi"s as he made his way closer to the stage, looking for a better vantage point.
Finally, he found himself behind a group of excited teenage girls, all shorter than him. Their occasional shrieks of "We love you, Nick!" and "Marry me, Mike!" were mildly annoying, but Otabek considered it a small price to pay for the fantastic view he had of Nick Sanderson, the "Guitar God" himself.
The vendor hadn't lied. The band sounded great in recordings, but it was nothing compared to hearing them live and in person. A shiver ran up Otabek's spine as Nick went into one of his trademark guitar solos, his fingers playing the difficult chords as if possessed by the music itself. The girls in front of him squealed, but Otabek barely noticed, completely enraptured...
On stage, the members of Reckless Abandon were taking their final bows, the pumped up audience shouting for an encore, when Otabek pulled out his phone to check the time.
9:20. Only twenty-five minutes left until the skaters' meet-up.
"Damn it," he muttered, slipping his phone back into his back pocket. "One or two songs" had somehow turned into staying for the entire set, his goal of finding Rebecca Morris completely slipping his mind as he lost himself in the music. He couldn't believe he let himself get so distracted!
Sighing, Otabek headed back toward the booths, skipping out on the encore. The chance that he would coincidentally run into Rebecca before the gathering was probably getting close to zero, but he still kept an eye out as he passed people by, his head turning whenever he caught sight of a young black woman wearing braids.
Of course none of them were Rebecca.
Well, locating her beforehand had always been a long-shot anyway, "like trying to find a needle in a haystack" as his mother's favorite English idiom went. At least the evening hadn't been a complete waste of time. He'd have to remember to send Leo some of the video footage he had captured on his phone during the concert. The two of them had originally bonded over their shared love of Reckless Abandon, and Otabek chuckled to himself, thinking of how absolutely jealous Leo would be to hear that he got to experience a live performance.
Deciding to give up on his search, Otabek headed toward the food trucks on the other end of the park to get something to eat before the fireworks.
He truly was spoiled for choice. In addition to the typical hamburgers, hot dogs, and cotton candy he had expected to see, many of the trucks sold more international fare as well, reflective of the multicultural diversity of Toronto. Mexican, Chinese, Filipino, Indian, Jamaican, Italian… Everything looked and smelled absolutely incredible, Otabek's mouth watering as he made his way down the row of trucks, taking it all in.
He'd decided to get in line in front of the truck serving Jamaican cuisine when he finally saw her.
Rebecca Morris sat alone on a nearby bench, tapping at her phone, and as far as he could tell, there was no sign of her boyfriend, Gabriel, anywhere in the immediately vicinity. Otabek couldn't have asked for a better opportunity!
Though there was only one other person in line ahead of him, Otabek couldn't risk missing out on his chance to talk to her on her own. There was no telling when Gabriel would be back. Pulling himself away from the food truck, Otabek walked over to the bench and lightly his throat as he approached.
"Becca?"
Rebecca glanced up from her phone, tossing some of her box braids over her shoulder. It had been a couple of days since he'd last seen her at the rink, but she'd added red extensions to her hair in the interim, showing off some patriotic flair. "Oh, hi!" she said, regarding him with a friendly, yet quizzical, look. "You're...Otabek, right? The other Beka?"
"Uh, yeah, that would be me. I hope I'm not bothering you."
"Oh, no, not at all. I was just playing a game while I wait for Gabe to come back." She slipped her phone into her colorful tote bag. "What can I do for you? Do you need directions to the washroom or something?"
"No, I… I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Something kind of…" Otabek rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, kind of personal."
"O...kay." Her brows knitted together in confusion. "What is it?"
Otabek pressed his lips together, uncertain how he should proceed now that the moment had come. He'd been so focused on trying to find the chance to talk to her that he hadn't given much thought about what he would say when he finally did. It wasn't as if they were friends, or even acquaintances, really. He'd spoken maybe less than fifty words to her in the month since he began training at the rink, a majority of those words being variations of "Hello" and "Goodbye".
"Otabek?" Rebecca prodded when he didn't say anything. "Why don't you have a seat?" She patted the empty spot next to her on the bench.
He took her up on the offer, sitting down beside her.
"Now, what's going on? You're kinda starting to worry me..."
"I, uh, heard this...rumor," Otabek hesitantly began. "I don't really believe it or anything, but I… Well, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't true."
"A rumor? Involving me?"
"Yeah. You and...JJ."
"JJ? I don't understand."
"What do you think of him?" Otabek asked. "Of JJ?"
"Uh… He's a super talented skater?"
"That's it?"
She shrugged. "His skating skills are really good for someone competing in freestyle? It's kind of a shame he didn't follow his parents into ice dance, but with those huge jumps of his, I can't say I blame him for going the singles route."
"What about off the ice? What do you think of him as a person, not just as a skater?"
"Off the ice? I don't really know him that well, but JJ seems like a nice enough guy, if maybe a little too full of himself at times." Reaching into her tote, Rebecca pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the cap. "Why are you asking me about JJ? What kind of rumor did you hear about us?" she asked before taking a sip.
"That, um, you two were maybe...hooking up?"
Water spewed out of her mouth.
"W-What?" She blinked her dark eyes. "I – I – literally have no words. I… Who the hell is going around, telling people I'm sleeping around with a teenager?" Rebecca looked around the area, her voice lowering to a horrified whisper as she asked, "Has everybody been talking about this?" She brought a hand to her forehead. "Oh, my God… Oh, my God!"
"No, I think I'm the only one from the rink who's heard about it," Otabek quickly assured her, raising up his hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything."
"Then why did you? I don't understand. Is this some sort of sick prank? Or is JJ trying to gain rep points by boasting that he's fooling around with an older woman?"
"No, no, of course not. He wouldn't –" Otabek sighed, running a hand through his uppercut. "I heard it from my girlfriend, who is also a really close friend of JJ's ex-girlfriend," he said. "She told me the reason why the two of them broke up is because Isabella suspected he was cheating on her with a girl named Rebecca, so..."
Rebecca's lips formed into a small "o", realization dawning. "So you thought I was that Rebecca?"
"I'm sorry," he apologized again. He should have minded his own business; Otabek didn't even know why the identity of the mysterious "Rebecca" had mattered so much to him in the first place. "I shouldn't have bothered you. I'll just go."
He stood back up, deciding to head back to the Jamaican food truck. If he hurried, he'd be able to get his order before it was time to meet up with the other skaters. To be honest, he didn't really care about seeing any of his other training mates after achieving his main objective for the evening, but he'd already told Alain and Nathalie he was going to the gathering. If they found out he skipped, he'd probably get in big trouble.
"Hey, wait!" Rebecca called out, Otabek coming to a stop and turning back around. "That's a hella cool bracelet. I love the colors."
"Oh, uh, thanks." He touched the beaded bracelet on his right wrist. "I bought it at that booth over there." He cocked his head toward the Pride booth, which was one of the booths closest to where the food trucks were lined up.
"You're bi?"
"Yeah?" He crossed his arms over his chest, frowning. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Oh, no, not at all! I didn't – I'm totally cool with it." She waved her hands in front of her. "It's just… Never mind, it's really not my place to say."
It was Otabek's turn to be confused. What the hell did his sexuality have to do with anything? "To say what?"
She shook her head. "Just forget it. I shouldn't have said anything… Gabe!" Rebecca leaned to her left to look around him, raising her hand above her head. "Over here!"
Her boyfriend joined them a few seconds later, carrying an ice cream cone in each hand. "Here you go, a sweet for my sweet!" Gabriel said, handing the strawberry ice cream cone to Rebecca and keeping the chocolate for himself. He sat down beside her on the bench, casually throwing his free arm around her shoulder.
"Thanks, boo!" Rebecca pecked his cheek before taking a generous lick of her ice cream and letting out a small squeal of delight. "Oh, don't tell Coach Alain," she said to Otabek, winking as she brought a finger to her lips. "It don't hurt to have a cheat treat every once in a while, right?"
"R-Right. You're secret's safe with me," he promised. As curious as he was to find out what Rebecca had been about to say, with Gabriel back, it was clear their conversation had come to an end, so Otabek took that as his cue to leave. "Uh, see you around, I guess?"
"Yeah, later!"
Well, at least I know for certain that she's not JJ's 'Rebecca', Otabek thought, heading back to the Jamaican food truck and ordering some jerk chicken. Rebecca had seemed far too shocked and horrified by the accusation for her reaction to be faked.
But, then...who was she, the mysterious girl JJ supposedly cheated with?
And why did her identity matter so much to him?
The fireworks show started at ten o'clock sharp, the cloudless night sky above Toronto filled with bursts of colorful pyrotechnics.
As promised, Otabek had met up with his rink mates, going through the motions of acting at least moderately sociable despite not really knowing anyone there all that well, but it had been easy enough to slip away a few minutes before showtime without anybody missing him. He found an out-of-the-way spot with only a handful of gawkers milling around, untying the hoodie around his waist and laying it on the grass to sit on.
The fireworks really were gorgeous, painting the night sky in all the colors of the rainbow. It was a shame JJ had decided not to come; he seemed the type who would enjoy the spectacle. Maybe I'll record a video to show him later, Otabek thought, pulling out his phone and frowning when he saw how little storage he had left available. The footage he had taken of the Reckless Abandon concert had eaten most of his memory.
Otabek sighed, starting to slip his phone back into his pocket when he got a better idea.
Opening up his FaceTime app, he tapped on JJ's name and hoped that he hadn't gone to bed early.
He finally connected on the fourth ring. "Beka?" JJ squinted, his hair an uncombed mess. "Is that you?"
Oh, right. There wasn't much light nearby, so it was probably difficult to see him on camera. "Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?" Otabek asked, grateful for the relative darkness when a blush crawled up to his cheeks at the sight of JJ's toned arms, on full display thanks to the skintight Superman tank he wore.
"No, not really. Tried to get some sleep, but…" Yawning, JJ shrugged his bared shoulders, then ran a hand through his hair, attempting to tame his bedhead. On closer inspection, his eyes were rimmed with red, his skin blotchy underneath the dark stubble covering his face. "Anyway, what's up?" JJ asked, letting out a small sniffle as he swiped a hand across his cheek.
Otabek pretended not to notice, glad he had called instead of letting JJ cry himself to sleep. "Nothing much. I just thought you might want to see this." He flipped the camera view around and held his phone up to the sky. "Can you see them?"
"Yeah. I mean, the picture's not great or anything, but – Oh, wow!"
A large golden burst went off, filling the dark sky with trails of what appeared to be shooting stars. It was followed quickly by several smaller bursts in patriotic red and white. Nearby, a little blonde girl in pigtails – maybe around two or three – clapped excitedly at the display from her vantage point on her father's shoulders, and Otabek couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.
"Yeah," he said, turning his attention back to the fireworks. It wasn't his homeland, but it was hard not to get swept up in the celebration.
Other than JJ occasionally letting out a low whistle or exclamation at some of the more impressive displays, they watched the rest of the show in comfortable silence. For the grand finale, an orchestra appeared on the stage where Reckless Abandon had played earlier, accompanying the fireworks with a rousing rendition of "O Canada". JJ sang along to the music with his beautiful baritone voice, joining in with the people nearby.
By the end of the twenty-minute show, Otabek's arm ached from holding up his phone for so long, but it was worth it when he finally turned the camera viewer back around and saw the light in JJ's eyes, a light he hadn't seen since the day Isabella broke his heart.
"That was...amazing," JJ said. "Thank you."
Otabek softly smiled. "Happy Canada Day, JJ."
The next day, Samantha finally returned from visiting her mother in Vancouver.
Otabek wasn't able to welcome her back home at the airport due to practice, but she called as soon as she arrived home, just as he was getting off the ice. Seeing her name on the notification, he found a quiet spot away from the rest of the skaters to take off his skates and answered the call.
"I'm baaaaack!" Samantha said in a sing-song voice, surprisingly chipper after a long cross-country flight.
Otabek smiled, wiping away his sweat with the towel around his shoulders. "Hey, welcome back. I've missed you."
"Not as much as I've missed you. Did I catch you at a bad time? You sound kinda breathless."
"No, you have great timing, actually. I just finished my afternoon session on the ice."
"Does that mean you're finished with training for the day?" she asked.
"Mostly. I was thinking about going to the gym and lifting some weights, but I can always do that later at home." He bent over and began loosening his skate laces. "Why? Do you have something in mind?" He hadn't planned anything special, assuming she'd want to rest her first night home and catch up with her father, who she didn't get to see much due to his frequent business trips.
"I was thinking about heading to the beach. I bought this super-cute bikini the other day, and I've been absolutely dying for the chance to wear it...and to see you, too, of course!"
"You're not jet-lagged?" Otabek was usually exhausted after a long flight. The day he arrived in Toronto, he'd barely had enough energy to take a shower and brush his teeth, much less go swimming at the beach. Granted, Vancouver was much closer than Almaty, but it had still been a nearly five hour flight over three time zones.
"No, not really! Guess I'm one of the lucky ones who don't get jet lag," she said. "So, are you in? I can drive by the rink to pick you up."
A day at the beach sounded great, but… "I don't have my swim trunks with me. We'd have to drop by the house first."
"Oh…right." Her voice lost some of its cheery tone. "Um, how's JJ doing? Is he still hiding out in his room?"
Otabek sighed, tugging off his left skate with his free hand. "For the most part, yeah," he said. "He didn't even go to the Canada Day celebration with his family last night."
"I'm not surprised," Samantha said. "Yesterday would have been their first anniversary, his and Bella's. He took her to the fireworks show on their first date."
"Oh." Otabek hadn't known that; no wonder JJ had been crying last night. "Um, speaking of fireworks, I talked to her yesterday… Rebecca Morris." Since Samantha had spent the previous night celebrating Canada Day with her mom and her mother's partner, he hadn't been able to tell her about what happened at the festival over their usual nightly video chat. "I ran into her there."
"Yeah? And what did she have to say for herself?"
He glanced around. The other skaters were engrossed in their own conversations, not paying him any attention at all, but he still lowered his voice. "Sam, I really don't think she's JJ's mystery girl," he said. "Trust me. She was completely shocked when I accused her of fooling around with him, and it didn't seem like she was faking to me."
"Then who the hell is she?" Despite his attempt at being discreet, Samantha's voice was loud enough that Otabek winced, pulling the phone away from his ear to save his eardrum. "When I think of the pain she and JJ put Bella through..."
He switched his phone to his other hand in order to take off his right skate. "We don't even know if JJ actually cheated," he gently reminded her. "I still think this is all some big misunderstanding. JJ isn't that type of guy."
"I know he's your friend," Samantha said, lowering her volume back to a slightly more acceptable level, "but you only met JJ a month ago. How can you possibly know that for sure?"
"I…" He couldn't, not for certain, but… "I just do." Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was letting his secret unrequited feelings for JJ blind him to his faults, but Otabek just couldn't see JJ doing something like that.
Samantha sighed. "Look, let's agree not to talk about JJ and Bella for the rest of the day, okay?" she suggested. "Today's my first day back, so let's go have some fun and enjoy ourselves. The beach is calling my name!"
"What about my swim trunks?"
"If JJ's still holed up in his room like you said, I doubt we'll even see each other. I can hang out in the car while you run in and change. Anyway, I'll be at the rink in about twenty minutes. Meet you out front?"
"Yeah, sure," he agreed softly. "See you then."
As promised, Samantha arrived at the rink about twenty minutes later, waving to Otabek as she pulled up to the front entrance. The window on the passenger side rolled down as he pushed himself off the brick wall he had been leaning against while he waited and walked over to the metallic blue Honda Civic.
"Looking for a ride, stud?" Samantha asked, peering over the rims of her ridiculous heart-shaped sunglasses.
Otabek couldn't help but smile. Despite all the tension surrounding JJ and Isabella's break-up, it really was great to see Samantha again in person, not just through a computer screen. Bracing his hand against the top of the car door, he leaned down so that he was looking through the opened window. "Seems I've been stood up," he said, playing along with the bit. "Mind giving me a lift to the beach?"
She grinned. "Hop on in! I just so happen to be heading that way."
After putting his skate bag in the backseat, Otabek climbed in on the passenger side. Samantha unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over the center console, giving him a long, passionate kiss on the lips.
"God, I've missed this," she said. "It feels like literally forever since we last kissed."
"Yeah, I know." Among other things…he thought, his eyes drifting downward to her long legs, almost on full display thanks to the super-short denim cutoffs she wore. Otabek swallowed, forcing himself to look back up at her face. "Welcome home," he said, starting to lean in for another kiss when another car pulled up behind them and began honking its horn.
Giggling, Samantha pulled back. "Geez, what a way to ruin the mood!" She put her seat belt back on and shifted the car into drive. "Okay, I'm going, I'm going!"
On the drive to JJ's house, Samantha caught him up with all that had happened since the last time they had a chance to video chat. Like the Leroys, they had also hosted a barbecue to celebrate the holiday, although on a much smaller scale, just inviting over a few neighbors.
"Then, afterwards, Jake put his hand in his pocket. I swear I thought he was going to pull out a ring and propose to Mom right then and there, but…" Her voice trailed off as something caught her eye up ahead.
"But, what? Sam?"
Otabek followed her gaze.
They were still some distance away, but the Leroys' large house was in full view at the end of the cul de sac. The garage door was fully ajar, JJ's prized BMW missing from where it had sat ever since Alain asked him the other day to stop blocking the driveway and move it inside if he wasn't going to be driving it any time soon.
Samantha frowned, slowing down as the car approached the house. "I thought you said JJ hadn't left the house since the break-up?"
"He hasn't," Otabek said, just as confused as she was by the absence of JJ's car. "Maybe he's finally feeling better?"
"Or else he's been sneaking around behind everybody's backs, seeing Rebecca on the sly when nobody's at home," she said, tightening her grip on the steering wheel.
"Sam…"
"Well, whatever." She pulled her car into the driveway and killed the engine before unbuckling her seat belt.
Brows furrowed, Otabek unbuckled his seat belt as well. "What happened to staying in the car?"
"No need if he's not here, eh?" She hopped out of the driver's seat. "Besides, I need to use the washroom," she said, shutting the door with more force than necessary.
So much for not letting JJ ruin their reunion… Sighing, Otabek grabbed his skate bag from the backseat, then led Samantha to the front entrance. "Do you remember where the powder room is?" he asked, unlocking the door and showing her inside.
She pointed forward. "Down that way, underneath the staircase?"
"Yeah, I'm going up to change. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."
Upstairs, Otabek quickly located his swim trunks and changed out of his sweats. He then packed some necessities – towel, sunglasses, sunscreen, some clothes to change into afterwards – in a spare tote bag, tossing in a couple of condoms just in case the opportunity arose. He briefly considered bringing along his good camera – a Canon SL1 his parents had surprised him with for his fifteenth birthday – but if anything happened to it, he'd never forgive himself. He'd already let Alain know his plans before Samantha picked him up at the rink, so Otabek pulled a clean T-shirt over his head and slipped on a pair of sandals before heading out, only to come to an abrupt stop as soon as he opened the door.
"Sam?"
Samantha jumped at the sound of his voice, the door to JJ's bedroom quickly closing as she pivoted around. "Oops, wrong room!" she said in a high-pitched voice. "I thought this one was yours."
Otabek arched an eyebrow. Samantha was a good actress, but he wasn't buying it. Not one bit. She had only been to the house a couple of times since they started dating, but if her memory was good enough to remember where the powder room was located, then she should have had no problem remembering which door led to his bedroom. "Did you? Or did you plan to snoop around in JJ's bedroom?"
"Bust-ed!" She let out a giggle, not even bothering to deny it. "Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. But, come on, this is the perfect opportunity! Aren't you curious, too? To see if there are any clues laying around about the mysterious Rebecca? He has to have at least a picture or two of her."
For a moment, he seriously considered the idea. He had to admit he was just as curious as Samantha about the identity of "Rebecca" – maybe even more so – and, with JJ not home, there really was no better time to investigate, but... Otabek crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "We're not spying on JJ, Sam." That was a step too far. He couldn't invade JJ's privacy like that.
"But –"
"You were the one who said we should forget about JJ and Isabella for the rest of the day," he reminded her.
"I know, but…" Her gaze turned back toward JJ's door.
Thinking quickly, Otabek stepped forward, taking Samantha's hands and wrapping them around his neck. "I have a better idea," he said in a low voice, placing his own hands on her slender hips as he brought his mouth right next to her ear. "No one else is here right now, so, um, how about we go back to my room and, well, you know..." He wasn't really in the mood at the moment, to be honest, but if it distracted Samantha from her spy games...
Samantha smiled. "I think I like the sound of that," she said before kissing him and pushing him back toward his bedroom.
Sighing, Otabek tied off the end of his condom and rolled over on his side, dropping it into the trash can he kept by the bed.
This wasn't exactly how he had wanted to welcome her home, but at least Samantha seemed satisfied. She curled up against him, her bare chest pressing against his back, and kissed his shoulder. "I've missed this," she murmured. "You know, I dreamed about you every night while I was gone."
"Y-Yeah?" He stared straight ahead.
"Yeah. Some of them were pretty sexy, too… What about you? Do you ever dream about me?"
"Sometimes," he admitted. Nowhere near as often as he dreamed about JJ, though...
"Yeah? What kind of dreams?"
"You know, the normal kind..."
Samantha laughed. "So, they were super naughty, eh?"
Otabek didn't deny it, flipping back around so that he was facing Samantha. Her skin was still lightly flushed, her messy blonde hair framing her pretty face like a halo. He reached over to lightly caress her cheek, Samantha's bright green eyes looking at him in utter adoration.
She really was beautiful. Plenty of other guys would probably love to be in his position, yet...
"You're staring," Samantha said, pulling him away from his thoughts.
"Oh, sorry." Otabek glanced away, turning his focus instead on the Reckless Abandon poster in view over her bare shoulder.
"It's okay." Giggling, she scooted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "You can stare all you want. I don't mind."
Otabek swallowed hard, trying his best to ignore the softness of her skin against his.
"Um, maybe we should get dre–"
"I really did miss you, you know," Samantha said softly, resting her head on his shoulder. "More than I ever thought possible. I know we only met a few weeks ago, and maybe it's too soon to be saying this, but… I think I l–"
Outside, a car engine faintly rumbled before turning off. Otabek swore in Kazakh, abruptly jumping out of bed and gathering his discarded clothes from the floor.
Samantha partially sat up. "Otabek?"
"Someone's home. I just heard a car drive up."
"Crap!" She joined him in getting dressed, retying her bikini top. "Is it Mr. and Mrs. Leroy?"
"I don't think so," Otabek said. "They have lessons until five-thirty, so they should still be at the rink. It's probably JJ, coming back home from wherever he went."
"What should we do? Should I hide? Or…"
He shook his head. "No point. He's already seen your car in the driveway. Just, um, act natural." Otabek didn't think JJ would snitch to his parents about him bringing a girl up to his room – it wasn't as if he didn't already know he was sleeping with Samantha – but they didn't need to advertise the fact that they had just had sex either.
"Right. I can do that."
Otabek helped Samantha with the rest of her ties – the string bikini had been easy enough to take off, but it was a pain in the ass to put back on, especially when in a hurry – then finished getting dressed. Once they were both decent, Otabek took Samantha by the hand and led her down the stairs. Maybe if they were lucky, they could get back downstairs and out of the house before they ran into –
"Oh. Hey."
No such luck. Midway down, JJ emerged from the kitchen – he must have come in through the garage entrance – and came to a stop at the foot of the staircase upon noticing them. Still unshaven, he was dressed in plaid pajama pants and the same faded Superman tank he had worn the night before, the hood of an unzipped black sweatshirt pulled over his head.
Wait, is that one of my hoodies? Otabek wondered, noticing it looked almost a size too small on JJ's frame. Strange. It must have gotten mixed up with JJ's laundry by mistake...
"Hey," Otabek said, pushing that thought aside and reminding himself to keep calm. "You just get back?"
"Uh, yeah. Had a sudden craving for Timmie's." Raising his right hand, JJ held up a brown paper sack with the Tim Horton's logo on it, along with a red to-go cup. Judging by the smell, it was probably filled with the chain's signature coffee. "Hey, Sam," he said, his eyes shifting over to Samantha. "Welcome back. How was Vancouver?"
Samantha moved down to join Otabek on the same step, tightening her grip on his hand. He sensed it was taking all her willpower not to storm down the rest of stairs and smack JJ across the face. "Good."
"Oh. That's...good. Um…" JJ rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, his hood falling back to reveal his messy, unwashed hair. "How… How's Bella doing? Have you talked to her lately? Is she doing all right?"
"How do you think?"
Otabek had never heard Samantha sound so cold before, the temperature in the room seeming to drop by several degrees.
"Right… Sorry."
"Come on, Sam," Otabek said, realizing it best to end the confrontation before things turned ugly. "We should get going, or else the sun will set before we even arrive at the beach." They made their way down the rest of the staircase, Samantha none-too-subtly glaring at JJ as they passed him by. "I already let your parents know, but I should be back around seven, eight at the latest," he told JJ at the door, mouthing "I'm sorry" once Samantha had stepped outside, out of view.
"Oh, okay," JJ said. "Have fun, then."
Samantha was uncharacteristically quiet as she drove them to the beach, only giving short generic answers whenever Otabek asked her about the rest of her Canada Day. Halfway there, he gave up on trying to engage her in conversation, reaching over to turn up the volume on the radio to fill the silence between them.
It was a little after three when they arrived at Bluffer's Park and Beach, located on the shores of Lake Ontario. Samantha's mood visibly improved once they found a good parking spot and started making their way to the beach section. Grabbing Otabek by the hand, she excitedly guided him around, showing him the yacht club, the marina, and a busy snack stand called "Curbside Dogs" that sold the "yummiest hot dogs in Toronto".
"Now, this is what summer's all about!" Samantha announced once they finally reached the beach, shielding her eyes from the bright afternoon sun as she surveyed the crowded area. "Come on, looks like there's a spot over there where we can set up."
Otabek hadn't expected much from a lakeside beach, but the area near the Scarborough Bluffs was actually rather beautiful, looking out onto the clear blue waters of the Great Lake. He regretted not bringing his good camera after all; he'd probably be able to get some fantastic landscape shots from the cliffs.
Finding a relatively empty area on the east side of the beach, they set their towels out on the sand. Otabek stripped off his T-shirt, slathering sunscreen on his arms and legs while Samantha shimmied out of her short denim cut-offs and unbuttoned her striped blouse.
His breath hitched at the back of his throat as the blouse slipped down her arms. He'd seen the bikini earlier, of course, but, to be honest, he hadn't paid it much attention at the time, more interested in getting it off than admiring it. Featuring a fun multi-colored zigzag print, the triangle-shaped top fit securely over her small bust thanks to the ties around her neck and ribcage, while her side-tie bikini bottoms sat high on her slender hips, giving the subtle illusion of Samantha being more curvy than she actually was.
"You like?" she asked, spinning around so that he could get the full effect.
"Yeah," he breathed. "You look… You look amazing."
Samantha grinned, pleased with his reaction. "Mind putting some of that on me?" She nodded at the bottle of sunscreen in his hand. "Mine must have fallen out of my bag in the car. I can't seem to find it."
"Yeah, sure. I don't mind."
She kneeled down in front of Otabek, pulling her hair to the side. He squeezed a large dollop of sunscreen onto his hand, then spread it over her back and shoulders.
"Make sure to get it underneath the straps, too," Samantha reminded him. "My skin burns really easily."
Otabek did as she asked, slipping his hand underneath the stringy straps of her bikini top to make sure he covered as much of her pale skin as possible. When he was done, he squeezed a little more in his hand to slather on his chest, then handed the bottle over to Samantha.
"Thanks. Need me to do your back, too?" she asked as she slathered sunscreen on her front side.
"Oh, um, yeah, sure."
He turned to face away from Samantha, her gentle hands rubbing sunscreen over his back and shoulders.
"I don't know if it's just my imagination, but your shoulders seem a bit broader than the last time I saw you," she said, stopping for a moment to squeeze out a little more sunscreen.
"Oh?" He hadn't really noticed.
"Yeah."
"Must be because of the weight-lifting I've been doing lately. Mr. Leroy has been wanting me to strengthen my arms and legs to help with my jumps. Anyway, what do you want to do first?" Otabek asked when she had finished, standing back up and doing some light stretches. "Go for a swim?"
"Hmm… Oh, wait, I have an idea – let's take a selfie!" Samantha suggested, crawling back over to dig through her bag. "I barely have any pics of the two of us together. Mom almost didn't believe you existed since I only had a couple of pictures of you to show her!"
There was a reason for that. Otabek loved photography almost as much as he loved skating and music, but when it came to pictures of himself, he was far from the most photogenic model. "Why don't I just take a photo of –"
"Darn it!" Samantha pouted upon finding her phone, showing him the blank screen. "I forgot to charge last night, so now it's totally dead. How's yours?"
"Oh, uh…" Otabek pulled out his own phone, already knowing that it was near full charge. He'd plugged it in as soon as he got back from the fireworks show. "Mine's okay, but –"
"Great!" She rose back to her feet, walking over to Otabek and snuggling up against his side, her arms wrapped around his torso and her head resting on his shoulder. "Take a good pic of us."
"Oh, okay," he agreed, giving up on trying to get out of it. It was only one photo; he could tolerate at least that much. Otabek flipped the camera viewer around before putting his free arm around her shoulders and holding up his phone. Though he didn't have much experience when it came to taking selfies, after moving the phone around some, he found what he considered a good enough angle and plastered what he hoped was a nice smile on his face. "One, two…"
"Three!"
Samantha smiled brightly as he snapped the photo. As Otabek had feared, his smile somehow came across as more of a grimace than a grin, but at least Samantha looked great, the camera absolutely loving her.
"Sorry if it's not the best…" he said, passing the phone over so that she could have a look.
Samantha giggled. "Seriously, why does every photo you're in look like you're constipated or something? You're so hot in real life!"
"Sorry." It wasn't as if he did it on purpose. His face just naturally froze like that whenever he was aware he was in front of a camera. Back when Otabek had still attended school in person, he dreaded the day they took class pictures more than any other, knowing that his picture would turn out terribly even before it was taken.
"Aw, don't worry about it. I still think it's cute," she assured him, handing him back the phone after giving him a peck on the cheek. "Send it to me when we get home? Along with any other good shots you take? I want to send it to Mom to prove you really do exist."
"Yeah. No problem."
"Thanks. Oh, look, somebody's setting up a volleyball net!" She pointed over his shoulder to where a group of teens had gathered, just a bit further down the beach. It was a mixed group with almost an equal number of boys and girls, one of the girls holding a volleyball underneath her arm while some of her friends put up the net. "It's been forever since I last played. Want to see if we can join their game? I see a few people I know from school."
Otabek shrugged. He wasn't really in the mood to socialize with others, but if that's what she wanted… "Sure, I guess."
"Come on, then!" she said, looping her arm through his and pulling Otabek toward the group. Smiling, she waved to her friends with her free hand. "Jade, Asha, I want you to meet my boyfriend…"
A couple of hours later, Samantha plopped down on her towel, her small chest heaving up and down as she attempted to catch her breath. After playing a few rounds of volleyball with her friends and grabbing some beef hot dogs from "Curbside Dogs", they had gone for a long swim in the lake.
"I forgot my boyfriend is a world-class athlete. I'm utterly exhausted!"
"Sorry," Otabek apologized, sitting down beside her. Sometimes he forgot that other people didn't have the same endurance he had. "I should have suggested taking a break earlier."
Samantha laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it. I'll get my second wind soon enough. I'm not that out of shape." Sitting up, she began wringing the water out of her hair. "Hey, hand me my bag, will you?"
He reached for her tote, laying next to his on the other side of his towel, and handed it to her. "Want me to get us some drinks or something?"
"Maybe in a minute. There's something I want to give to you first before I forget." She dug around in the tote and pulled out a small, slightly smushed metallic gift bag. "Here," she said, holding it out to him. "Sorry, it's a little messed up. Probably should have given it to you earlier."
"What is it?"
"Open up and see, silly! I told you I bought you something while I was shopping in the Olympic Village, remember?"
"Oh, right." Reluctantly, he accepted the gift, pulling out some of the shimmery tissue paper to reveal a small box, the top stamped in gold with what looked like the logo of an upscale jewelry store. "I thought I told you not to spend a lot of money on me, Sam," Otabek said, frowning.
"I didn't! Honest," she insisted when Otabek arched an eyebrow. "Seriously, I can show you the receipt if you don't believe me."
He couldn't tell if she was lying or not. Setting the issue aside for now, he lifted the lid off the box. The bright sunlight reflected off the simple oval-shaped gold keychain nestled inside. It was engraved with the initials "O & S" in the center of an outline of a heart.
"I've got one, too. See?" Samantha dangled her set of keys from her finger, showing off the other keychain, which he hadn't noticed earlier. "Look, we match! I know you don't have your driver's license yet, but you can keep the Leroys' house key and your locker key on there for now, then when you finally get that motorcycle you've been – Otabek, something wrong?" she asked, lightly touching his arm. "Don't you like it?"
Otabek stared down at the engraving, an unexpected heaviness settling in the deep pit of his stomach.
It was a perfectly nice gift, sweet and thoughtful without being too over-the-top. If JJ had been the one to gift it to him, if the initials had spelled out "O & JJ" instead, he probably would have loved it, yet… What was wrong with him? This wasn't the reaction he should be having…
"Otabek?"
It wasn't just the gift. He thought back to earlier, when they had been in bed together. Though she'd been interrupted by JJ's sudden return home, it didn't take a mind-reader to realize Samantha had been about to say "I love you" for the first time. He appreciated her feelings, truly he did, and he wished he could say he felt the same for her, but...he didn't.
He wasn't in love with her, and he never would be.
"Yeah, uh, it's...great," Otabek finally said. "Thanks, but…" He placed the lid back on the box, hiding the initials from view. "Here. Sorry, I can't accept this."
"I don't understand. Why not?" Samantha asked, making no move to take it back. "If it's about the money, I already told you, it really wasn't that expensive. It only cost –"
"It's not that. It's just…" Sighing, Otabek set the box down near Samantha's knee, then ran his hand through his wet hair. This wasn't how he had expected the day to go, but he couldn't keep leading Samantha on any longer, not when he now knew for certain that he would never feel the same about her as she did about him. It wasn't fair to her, or to him. "Sam, I think we need to talk…"
Otabek was in the middle of lifting weights when there was a knock on his bedroom door. As he was close to finishing his set, he called for whoever it was to come in, assuming it was Philippe coming to ask if he wanted to play video games with him and Madeleine before dinner. Ever since JJ had fallen into his post-break-up depression, his little brother and sister had adopted him as their replacement big brother of sorts, but Otabek didn't really mind. Hanging out with them reminded him of the happy times he had spent with his own younger sister, Inzhu, who was just about Madeleine's age.
The door cracked open, but instead of the rambunctious redhead Otabek expected, it was JJ.
"Hey," he said softly, poking his head inside.
"Hey," Otabek echoed, setting his dumbbell on the bed after finishing his last couple of reps.
A clean-shaven JJ came further inside, looking much better than he had earlier in the day. His hair was wet, and the strong scent of his familiar Axe body wash filled the room – a welcome change from the faint stench that had been emanating from him over the past few days. Philippe's taunts over the dinner table of "You stink!" and "Ew, you smell like Pepe le Peu!" must have finally gotten through to him. He pulled out Otabek's desk chair and sat astride it, arms folded on top of the back. "I heard you and Sam broke up."
Otabek sighed, wiping the sweat off his brow with the collar of his tank. "News travels fast." It had only been an hour since Samantha had dropped him off after their ill-fated beach date. "How did you find out?" he asked.
JJ and Isabella weren't still on speaking terms after their break-up, were they?
"I follow Sam on Facebook. Guess she forgot to block me after…well… Anyway, she just switched her relationship status to 'Single'."
"Oh. Did she say anything else?" While Samantha had taken the break-up fairly well with only a minimum of tears, he wouldn't blame her if she went on a furious tirade about what a terrible boyfriend he had been. He deserved it, quite frankly. He never should have used her as a way to get over his stupid crush on JJ in the first place.
"No, not really," JJ said. "She wrote a short post, saying that you two had decided to end things, but that was pretty much it. She didn't go into any details or anything." His eyes softened. "Are you, you know, okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." If anything, it was as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Otabek hadn't realized just how much he had been trying to force himself to fall in love with Samantha until they had broken up. He only wished he hadn't hurt her in the process...
"Really?" JJ rose from the chair, moving to join Otabek over on the bed. "You don't have to put on a brave face for me, you know," he said, placing a warm hand on Otabek's back. "Break-ups are tough. You saw how much of a wreak I was when Bella broke up with me."
"We weren't like you and Isabella. We only dated for a few weeks, and Sam was away for almost half of that time; it wasn't that serious."
At least, not on his end...
"Yeah, but…" JJ lowered his hand from Otabek's back. "It wasn't because of us – because of me and Bella – was it?" he asked. "This afternoon… I know it must have been awkward, with Sam and Bella being best friends. If our break-up caused problems between you two, then –"
"No, that wasn't it," Otabek said before he apologized for something that wasn't his fault. Sure, their relationship troubles had caused some awkwardness between him and Samantha, but, in the end, that wasn't the reason why Otabek had decided to break things off. "I just realized that I wasn't in love with her and probably never would be. It wasn't fair to keep dating her when I knew I didn't like her anywhere near as much as she liked me. Sam deserves better than that."
"If you say so…"
"I do." Not wanting to talk about his break-up any longer, Otabek turned the tables on JJ. "What about you? Are you feeling any better?"
"Y-Yeah," he said, forcing a smile to his face. "Nothing can keep King JJ down for long, you know."
Otabek didn't believe that for one second, catching the slight waver in JJ's voice. "JJ…"
His started to reach for JJ's hand beside him on the bed, but JJ slid it away, standing back up. "Anyway, if you ever want to talk or anything," he said, slipping his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants, "I'm, you know, right next door. You were there for me, so, um, I'd like to return the favor, if I can. I mean, I don't know if there's anything I can really do, but..."
"Thanks." Otabek appreciated the thought, but the last thing he needed was to cry on JJ's shoulder, to risk mistaking his sympathy for something else. He may have broken up with Samantha, but JJ was still straight, and he would never be his. The sooner he accepted that – truly accepted it – the better. "I'm fine, though, really."
"Oh, okay." JJ rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I'll go, then," he said, gently patting Otabek's shoulder before leaving.
Otabek sighed as the door closed behind him, falling back on his bed and crushing a pillow against his chest.
Later that night, Otabek flipped through the camera roll on his phone, looking through all the photos he had taken at the beach. Samantha had made him promise to send her the best ones, but that was before they had broken up. Did she still expect him to keep his promise, or would she rather he delete them all instead, not wanting any lasting memories of their final date together?
He sighed when he reached the selfie he had taken with Samantha, the last photo they had taken together. She looked so happy to be with him, her smile rivaling the sun in its brightness. Why couldn't he have just fallen in love with her like he wanted? Things would have been so much easier if he had...
Coming to the conclusion that she could simply ignore the photos if she no longer wanted them, Otabek selected three of the best photos he had taken – leaving out the one of them together – and texted them to Samantha, along with a short message.
I'm sorry, Sam.
It came as no real surprise when she left him on read a couple of minutes later.
By that time, it was nearing midnight. He had an early practice tomorrow morning, so he needed to get to bed. Otabek attached his phone to his charger and plugged it in, setting it aside on his nightstand before turning off the lamp and crawling underneath his blanket.
Sleep didn't come easy to him. He tossed and turned for a good while, unable to get the sad look in Samantha's pretty green eyes as he broke up with her out of his mind. At some point, however, he eventually did fall asleep, only to be awakened a short time later by a faint knocking on his door.
Otabek cracked open an eyelid, blearily feeling around in the darkness for his phone to check the time. The harsh brightness of the screen hurt his eyes as he struggled to make out the numbers at the top of his home screen.
1:57 a.m.
"What the fuck?" he muttered to himself, blinking a couple of times before checking the screen once again. No mistake. It was still 1:57 – no, 1:58 now. Who the hell was waking him up at 1:58 a.m.?
Otabek put his phone back to sleep, then laid back down, groaning as he pulled his blanket over his head. He must have imagined the knock. It was far too late – or early, depending on how you looked at it – for somebody to need to talk to him. Even if the knock was real, certainly whatever it was could wait until a more decent hour in the morning.
He was drifting back to sleep when he heard the knock again, slightly louder that time, followed by a familiar voice. "Beka? You up?"
As tempted as Otabek was to ignore JJ and pretend to be asleep, the urge to strangle him for waking him in the middle of the night was even stronger. He sat back up and turned on his bedside lamp, sighing as he climbed out of bed and padded across the room to answer the door. "JJ, do you realize what time it –"
"Shh." A hand slapped over his mouth, cutting off the rest of Otabek's question. "Can I come in?" JJ asked, voice barely above a whisper as he furtively glanced down the dimly-lit hallway.
The situation kept getting stranger and stranger. Why the hell was JJ sneaking around his own house? Otabek had no clue what was going on, but he pulled JJ's hand away and motioned for him to come inside, closing the door behind him.
"Okay, so what is –"
As soon as he turned around, JJ pinned him back against the door, his mouth crushing against Otabek's. Caught off guard, Otabek's eyes widened in surprise, but it didn't take long for him to begin kissing JJ back, his tongue slipping inside JJ's more-than-willing mouth, so much better than the kiss he had forced on him that day in the backyard pool.
This is a dream, right? he thought, gripping the front of JJ's faded Toronto Blue Jays T-shirt. It had to be. JJ was straight. There was no way he would come to his bedroom in the middle of the night and start making out with him out of the blue.
Yes, it must be a dream. There was no other logical explanation. And if it really was all just a dream, then there was no reason to hold back. Moaning into JJ's mouth, Otabek's grip on his T-shirt loosened so he could slip his hand underneath the soft fabric instead, fingers ghosting over the ripples of JJ's taut abdominal muscles.
JJ began touching him, too, his hands moving from their spot against the door to rest on Otabek's hips. They were standing so close together that he could feel JJ's arousal brushing against his through the fabric of their thin sleep clothes. Otabek moaned again when JJ released his lips, his mouth trailing down to Otabek's neck. He lightly sucked on the sensitive skin there, Otabek letting out a soft gasp.
It was too much. Far too much. Otabek had experienced plenty of wet dreams over the course of his fifteen, almost sixteen, years, but nothing as vivid, as...real as this. With JJ's kisses no longer depriving him of much-needed oxygen, the reality of what they were doing finally hit him.
It wasn't a dream.
"JJ...what are...you...doing?" he asked breathlessly.
JJ stopped kissing his neck and lifted up his head, their eyes meeting for the first time since he had entered Otabek's bedroom. His pupils were slightly larger than usual, staring at Otabek with what could only be described as a look of intense desire. "This is...what you wanted…right?"
"Yeah, but…"
"Then take off your clothes." Taking a step back, JJ reached behind his back and yanked his T-shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor.
Otabek pressed his lips together, swallowing hard as he took in the sight of JJ's muscular torso. Were they really doing this? Even disregarding the whole "not attracted to guys" claim, wasn't JJ supposed to be saving himself for marriage?
But JJ was the one coming onto him. He wouldn't do that if there wasn't some part of him – some small, hidden part – that secretly wanted to do this, right?
"Beka…" JJ again moved closer, bringing his hand to Otabek's cheek. "Beka, please..."
"Are you sure about this?" Otabek asked, giving JJ the opportunity to back out before things went too far. "Is this what you really want?"
"Yeah," he breathed, brushing his thumb across the outline of his cheekbone. "You? Do you still want me?"
More than anything, Otabek thought, though he couldn't bring himself to say the words aloud.
Instead, he reached for the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it off in a silent reply, the discarded top joining JJ's on the floor.
DISCLAIMER: "Yuri! On Ice" doesn't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Happy new year, and happy holidays! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Chapter Six should be posted in early March.