Warning: This chapter contains blood, violence, and some very sad stuff. It also includes body/self-hatred.
Chapter Three: Tears
Masha sat at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in their hands. Their Aunt Rose had been in the kitchen when Vee ran away and had heard Masha's yelling out for her. After Vee ran away, she called Camila and told her that Vee had run out of the house, and to call her as soon as possible.
"So," Aunt Rose said, sitting down across from Masha. She also had a cup of tea. "Mind telling me what happened?"
Masha was silent for a moment, then spoke.
"I kissed her," Masha said.
Rose had a feeling Masha liked Vee, but she wasn't expecting to hear that they kissed her. At least, not yet.
"Is that why she ran away?"
"I don't know," Masha replied. "I hope not."
"Alright. Walk me through what happened."
Masha told Rose about their kissing Vee, about how she reacted. They told her how they started kissing deeper when Vee suddenly freaked out and ran away.
"Tell me something." Rose finished off her tea. She heard Rosie scratching at the glass door to the backyard and stood up to let her out. As she did, she asked, "Does Vee know your trans?
"She does," Masha replied. "What does that matter?"
Aunt Rose sighed. "Alright, sweetie," she said, taking her seat across from Masha. "I'm going to tell you a story."
"A story?" Masha repeated.
"Yes. A story. I had this friend when I was a kid. We were best friends since kindergarten. Completely inseparable. Then, when were sixteen, she moved away; her father was transferred to another state and she had to go with him. Before she left, she told me she liked me. And I mean LIKED ME, like me, ever since we were kids. Thing was, I wasn't into girls, and she knew that. So, she kept her feelings to herself."
"What does this have to do with my situation?" Masha asked.
"I'm getting there." Rose continued. "About six years ago, I got an email from her. She said she was coming back to Gravefield and wanted to meet up at the diner we always went to. When I got there, I went to sit at our old booth, only to find some man sitting there. I was going to sit somewhere else when he called for me by name."
"I think I know where this is heading," Masha said. They could hear Rosie barking loudly at something outside. Probably a rabbit, they thought. "That guy was your friend?"
"He was my friend. She was always a tomboy, playing sports, working out, more interested in boy things. I just assumed she was butch. I never expected her, him, to be trans. She became a he; the full package, too. He was muscular, had a great beard, and HOO BOY, was he handsome! I dare say, he was the most perfect man I'd ever seen!"
"Why'd you never tell me about this?"
"Because it has a sad ending. After we caught up with each other, he asked me out on a date. I accepted, since he wasn't a she anymore. I was attracted to him. We went for coffee, a movie, dinner, it was like old times. But, when it came time to get physical, I... couldn't. We kissed a few times, but whenever we did, I wasn't into it. I had to forced myself to do it."
"FORCE YOURSELF?!" Masha repeated. They were clearly offended by the way she described it.
"Yes, force myself. I tried to get over it. I really did. But I couldn't get over the fact that he was once a she. I got drunk one time, to try and forget, but I still couldn't do it."
"Seriously?!"
"Yes, seriously," Rose said sternly. She didn't appreciate Masha's judgmental tone. "We tried one night, then another, then another, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get over it. The last night we tried, we just sat in bed. I cried. He cried. We cried together. He understood, said he'd encountered the problem a few times before. He moved back to Oregon, he was so upset. Said it hurt too much to be near me." Tears started forming in Rose's eyes. She pursed her lips as she remembered the pain. "I was in love with him. But I... couldn't... get over the fact that he was trans. It's not that I hated him, or was disgusted by him, it's just I... I couldn't get over it."
Masha looked at their tea, holding it with both hands. It'd gone cold and they hadn't taken a single sip. "You think Vee is like you?" Masha asked sadly.
"It's a possibility. My friend said he'd seen that kind of thing plenty of times with his friends, usually with trans-girls. It's something people like you might have to deal with when you meet someone you like." She took Masha's hand into her own and gave it a comforting squeeze. "It doesn't mean she hates you, or that she thinks you're a freak. You never know, maybe she'll get over it, maybe she just needs time to think. But you also have to understand that she might not be able to get over it."
Tears formed in Masha's eyes, despite their attempts to hold them back. "I hate this," they said. They looked down at their body with disgust. "I wish I was born the way I was supposed to be."
"I know, sweetie," Rosie said. She stood up and hugged Masha. "I know."
Masha started crying into Rose's shoulder as Rosie started scratching to be let back in.
Vee waited on the curb for Camila to pick her up, holding her phone to her ear to hear her mother-figure. She'd run four blocks before stopping. She didn't mean to run away, it was just instinct. She'd never been kissed before, much less by the person she considered her best friend. She liked it. She liked it a lot. She wondered if it felt the same for Luz and Amity.
"I'm turning on the block right now," Camila said through the phone. Vee could see the headlights of the car. "Do you see me?"
"I see you," Vee replied. She stood up and waved her free hand. "Do you see me?"
"I see you." Camila parked the car next to Vee, who let herself in. She buckled herself in before Camila started driving again. The car was silent for a few seconds before Camila spoke. "So, you wanna tell me what happened?"
"Not really," Vee said, placing her face against the window.
"I like your make-up. Is it real or did you shift it?"
Vee looked at the side-mirror, having completely forgotten about the make-up. "It's real. Masha did it for me."
"Well, they did a wonderful job!" Camila turned the corner. "Did you eat? We can stop for something on the way home."
"I ate. Masha's aunt ordered pizza."
"That was nice of her." Camila noticed Vee's clothing. "Did you change your clothes?"
"Huh?" Vee looked at herself. She'd forgotten Masha had given her some of their clothes to wear. "No. These are Masha's. I spilled some soda on myself, and they insisted I change. I couldn't exactly decline."
"I don't think I've ever seen you wear actual clothes. I must say, those clothes suit you."
"I'll have to return them later." Vee played with the hem of the shirt, balling it up and squeezing it. "You know, I think I like wearing clothes. Feels weird, but nice."
"Did you have fun?"
"I did," Vee said. "But I think I just ruined everything."
"Why?"
Vee mentally slapped herself for saying that. She didn't want to talk about this, but now she trapped herself. She sighed in defeat. "Masha kissed me."
"They did?" Camila asked a little enthusiastically. She coughed, then said seriously, "Was that your first kiss?"
"Yeah." She sounded upset.
"Did you not like it?"
"I did," Vee replied after a few seconds. "But I freaked out."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not human!" Vee said loudly, taking her face off the window. "If Masha saw me in my real form, they'd be disgusted! I mean, look at me!" Vee changed back to her normal form, the clothes she was wearing tearing apart in the process, the make-up she was wearing spreading about unnaturally on her face. She started crying. "I'm a freak!"
Camila stopped the car. "Vee," she said. "You aren't a freak! Why would you say that?"
"I know I'm not a freak back in the Demon Realm," Vee told her. "But here, in the Human Realm, I AM! I could never be with my friends, MY friends, not Luz's, like a normal kid! They'd be terrified!" Vee curled up into the fetal position. She whimpered, "I can never be myself around them."
Camila embraced Vee in a tight hug. She didn't say anything, she just held her. She cried for her.
Back home, Vee sat in her bunk. It was almost 10 a.m.. She taken off the torn clothes she was wearing, as well as the make-up. Luz, Amity, and Willow sat on the floor, sad expressions on their faces. Vee had finished telling them what had happened between her and Masha; she didn't want to, but Camila had insisted she talk to them about it. She felt talking to girls her age would be more helpful than an old lady (Camila's words, not hers). No boys allowed.
"I'm so sorry you went through that," Willow said.
"Do you really have to tell them about you being a Basilisk?" Amity asked. "Masha knows you as Vee the human, so why not just roll with it?"
"Masha told me it wasn't cool," Vee replied. "Back at camp, they said if you ever wanted to get physical with someone, then you should tell them who and what you are. Said it could lead to trouble if the other person found out they were once a boy or a girl. But, I don't care if they're a boy, a girl, or whatever, I like them the way they are. But if they knew I was a giant, ugly, lizard monster, they'd be disgusted."
"Don't say that," Luz said. "You're-"
"I'm not calling myself ugly," Vee interrupted. "I just meant I'd be considered ugly by most humans. Think about it like this; what if you or Amity suddenly revealed yourselves to be a giant snake in disguise? Or a bear? Or even a boy?"
Luz and Amity looked at each other.
"Well... I... don't know," Luz said. "I'm bi, so I'd be fine with the boy thing. I don't know about the others, but so long as she retain her hum-, er, Witch form, I guess I'd be okay with it. At least, I THINK I would be okay with it. Though I would see it as a betrayal of trust."
"I don't think I could handle it at all," Amity confessed. "I've never been attracted to Demons who aren't Witchoid (Author's Note: She means humanoid), and I'm not into boys. I mean, I lo- L-LIKE Luz...cough... but if she turned out to be a boy in disguise, I don't I could deal with it. Even if I could, I don't think I could handle being lied to like that."
"Ouch," Willow said. "But I get that. Attraction and trust are important in any relationship."
"That's exactly my point," Vee said. "Masha might like my human form, but they'd probably be disgusted if they ever saw me in my natural form." Vee sighed. "And that's assuming they didn't lock me up in a cage, or tell everyone in town what I am."
"I'm sure they wouldn't do that," Luz said. "But I do agree that you should keep your being a Basilisk a secret. The less people know about magic, the better. For now, at least."
"So, what do I do about Masha? How do I tell them I can't date them without hurting their feelings?"
"You can't," Amity said plainly. "I suggest you tell them as soon as possible, rip the band-aid off completely. No point in tormenting them over this."
"I guess you're right." Vee grabbed her phone, opening it up and going to Masha's messages, finding they'd already left her one.
"I didn't mean by text!" Amity said loudly.
"Oh." Vee opened the message. "Masha sent me a text, anyway."
"What's it say?" Luz asked.
Vee opened the message. She curled her lips in regret, then handed it to Luz.
Masha: I'm sorry about before. I thought you liked me.
"Oh, Titan, that's brutal," Amity said.
"Amity!" Luz scolded.
"Sorry!" she said. She looked at Vee. "How you feeling?"
"Like a jerk," Vee replied. "Worse than a jerk. A Coño."
"Whoa!" Luz said loudly. "Do you know what that word means?"
"I heard Camila call Jacob that when she threw him in the cage," Vee said. She raised an eyebrow. "Why, what's it mean?"
"Uuuhhh. A really big jerk."
"See? I'm a-"
"Please don't say it again!"
Amity and Willow laughed at Luz's panic. Neither knew what the word meant either, but it clearly embarrassed Luz.
Masha lay in their bed, thinking about the events of the day. It was nearing midnight, and they still hadn't fallen asleep. They'd had a good day up until the whole make-out incident. They reconnected with Vee following their drifting apart. They unboxed their new NS5 and bought two new games. They played said games with their best friends in the whole world. They even kissed their crush, who kissed back! But then things went to hell.
They were upset that Vee ran off. They hadn't expected her to run away like that, not after the way she kissed them. Masha had texted Vee an apology for what they did; they should've been more aware of the situation than they were. They thought Vee would reciprocate their feelings, not care about their being trans. Maybe she didn't care, maybe she just had to come to terms with her feelings.
They sighed and grabbed their phone. They looked at their text messages, hoping to see if Vee responded. She hadn't. They looked at what they typed, slapping themselves mentally for typing in that last sentence; it was far too emotional. When they next saw Vee, they would have to talk things through.
A scratching at Masha's door made them get up. They opened it, finding Rosie, who immediately dashed in. She started sniffing around the room.
"You looking for something, girl?" Masha asked. They walked over to their dresser and took out a treat. They'd seen Vee sneak few of them into her mouth when she thought they weren't looking. They threw a piece into their own mouth and chewed. They gagged and made a face, then spit it into their wastebasket after two bites. Maybe shapeshifters had different tastebuds.
They tried to give some treats to Rosie, but she ignored them, instead sniffing around the room. She went to Masha's dresser and sniffed. She bit at the handle, taking a firm grip with her mouth, then pulled. It wouldn't budge due to her paws being in the way. Masha was amazed she could do that, let alone have the forethought to do it in the first place.
"How are you doing that?" Masha asked. They opened the drawer for her, wondering what it was she was looking for. It was their underwear drawer. Rose hopped onto the drawer with all her weight, breaking it and making everything fall to the floor. "Rosie! Stop! Bad dog!
Masha grabbed Rosie's collar and pulled, trying to get her away from their underwear. Rosie pulled back, making Masha lose their grip and fall to the floor. She continued sniffing the underwear, then jumped on the dresser to dig out what was left. Masha stood back up and grabbed Rosie by the collar again, trying to pull her off. Suddenly, without warning, Rosie turned around and bit into Masha's right wrist!
"AAAAHHHH!" Masha screamed in pain as Rosie bit deeper into their hand, digging out large pieces of flesh from their hand. "Rosie! Stop! What're you doing!?"
"MASHA!?" It was Aunt Rose. Masha could hear her rushing to their door, attempting to open it. It was locked, Masha wanting to be left alone. "Masha, what's going on in there!? Are you okay?!"
"Help!" Masha kicked at Rosie's face, trying desperately to get her off. They kicked her several times, only now noticing her eyes seemed to be swollen, with green pus leaking out the edges. The door to their room busted open, their aunt rushing to their aid.
"MASHA!" Aunt Rose kicked Rosie in the side several times finally getting her off. She helped Masha up immediately, pulling them out of the room and closing the door behind them. Masha was crying as they held gnarled hand, from fear, pain, and worse, betrayal. "Masha, call 911 right now! I'll keep the door closed."
"What's wrong with her?" Masha said through anguished tears. They squeezed their wound tightly, the blood gushing down their hand. "What's wrong with Rosie?!"
"Masha!" Rose could feel Rosie pulling on the door. She didn't understand how she was doing that, or how she even knew how to do it. "Call 911 right now! You need to go to the hospital!"
Masha continued to cry but nodded their head all the same. The ran to the kitchen, grabbing Rose's phone and quickly dialing 911, their blood smearing on the phone.
"911, what's your-"
"Please, send help!" Masha interrupted with a panicked yell. "Our dog's gone crazy! I think she's sick! She's got green pus leaking out her eyes!"
"Okay, sweetie, I need you to calm down. Take a breath. Tell me, has she hurt anyone?"
"She bit my hand! I'm bleeding really bad; my aunt is holding the door closed to keep her in my room. Please, send help!"
"Okay, sweetie, I need you to tell me your address, okay? We'll send an ambulance and animal control to your location right away."
Masha gave them their address, then heard glass breaking from upstairs. They saw glass fall from the backyard glass, sliding door, then saw Rosie jump outside, the motion sensor lights turning on. They ran to the door and watched as Rosie looked back at them.
Her eyes seemed to glow. Not in the normal sense when light hits a creature's eyes, but in a menacing, evil sense. She looked angry. She looked directly at Masha then, suddenly, her eyes turned back to her normal ones. She shook her head then walked to the glass door. She struggled with each step, as if she were forcing herself to move against something else.
"Masha!" It was their aunt. She'd run downstairs and saw Masha at the door. "Don't open the door!"
Rose ran to Masha and pulled them away from the door. Rosie went to the glass and cried at the door, looking at her owners, some of Masha's blood dripping down off her chin. She cried. Masha fought off their aunt and knelt at the door. They put their bloodied, trembling hand against the glass. Rosie put her paw over their hand and started to cry green pus. Masha started to cry as well. They didn't understand why Rosie had attacked them, but they didn't care. She was still their dog. Their best friend.
Rosie's eyes once again turned, becoming angry. She barked at Masha, the green pus somehow going back into her eyes, then turned around and ran into the woods behind their house.
"No!" Masha opened the sliding door and ran outside. "Rosie! Rosie, come back!"
"Masha, get back inside!" Rose screamed, running after them. "Masha!"
Masha tripped on a rock and fell to their knees as Rosie disappeared from sight, their tearing blurring their vision.
"ROSIE!"
I have a dog, so it was really hard writing that whole Rosie scene. I still feel bad about it.