"So this is where you went off to." I cross my arms, I probably... definitely shouldn't be feeling the way I'm feeling, but I must admit, even if it's unfair to MMT, I am a bit annoyed right now.

Tracking someone through a forest isn't exactly easy, even if she did take a very straightforward path. I'm also lucky that at this point I know the basics of the skill due to my learnings of the North God style.

Megumin immediately turns around to face me, getting up while she does so. "Ah! A creep! A creep stalked me through the woods!" She shrieks, probably making every animal close to us have a heart attack.

I can't blame her for it though, because in a way she is absolutely right. I cannot just ignore her however, so somehow by the end of this I must make Megumin my girlfriend... Or at least someone that isn't scared of me.

I ignore her comment and wave at her. "So what is this place anyways? You come here often?" It's nice to be sure, a big lake in the middle of the forest. Not exactly the place for a NEET, or even an ex-NEET, but I can appreciate it to a certain extent.

She pouts and stays silent, so I continue talking. "Sorry if I'm intruding on your comfort zone... I guess I could leave...?" It's a risky gambit to say something like this, mostly because I cannot just leave.

But maybe by showing Megumin that I'm not forcing her into a conversation, she will be more willing to have that conversation in the first place. It's definitely a manipulative tactic, not one fit for a guy who's supposedly the reincarnated Sage, but it can't be helped.

A sigh escapes her mouth. "No, it's fine, you can stay." And so, I'm immediately rewarded for being scum! Truly amazing... "It seems you pushed that Sage bastard back." Don't tell me you're gonna keep going with your dumb theory...

Again, it would be easy to prey on her Gumin way of thinking, specially since I need to act like scum, but... it would end back firing later. There is no such thing as an actual inner demon in Subaru Natsuki, he's just a pervert with too much power.

So sadly, I have to end her delusions. "I... you know I didn't fight any inner demon or whatever, right? Back then... and right now, both are Subaru Natsuki." And both of them want to have sex with your mother.

Megumin's eye twitches, and then she pouts. "If that's the case, then what the hell were you thinking!?" Um... that I need to find someway of sticking you and your mom into a harem? "I thought we were supposed to be just friends from now on?" Is that what you're focusing on!?

I take a step forward, and Megumin immediately takes a step back. It seems I still haven't won back enough points with my angel to be close to her. Actually, I can't win points, nor can I lose points. Literally.

That said, love and hate are not mutually exclusive. A person can love someone they hate, the human... or Crimson Demon heart in this case, is a complicated thing. Which is why I shouldn't mess around with MMT.

I look away. "You never told me if you come to this place often." I'm not exactly being subtle with my attempt to shift the topic away from what happened back there, but Megumin is smart enough to notice even if I was anyways.

And as for the reason why I'm running away from that topic, even though I definitely have to talk about it? It's because I want to do so when she actually let's me get closer to her, anything else and she will just get mad.

This time Megumin is the one to closer her arms. "You didn't... urgh, whatever." She looks around, though she never shows her back to me. "I guess I wandered around this place with Komekko a few times, it's nothing special though." Hah, I guess you can't have an anime backstory for everything.

She glares at me. "Definitely the type of place where a guy could force himself into a girl without anyone knowing about it." Where did that comment come from!? Okay, I know from where, and I'm sorry...!

I scratch the back of my head. "I'm not gonna do that Megumin-Tan... And I wasn't gonna go with your mom's sleep suggestions either." I was just... lost in the flow, the flow I created. I just needed to snap out of it.

Even so, it doesn't change the fact that I was on the right track, I need to be proactive if I want to get anywhere with this harem thing, but... I should also, just maybe try to seduce Yuiyui and Megumin in different rooms. At least for now.

MMT rolls her eyes. "I know, I know... the Purge King isn't that type of guy..." She assumes a fighting position, as expected of Megumin, is full of flaws, even an amateur like me can see it. "But the Sage definitely would! I won't fall for your schemes!" I don't have an inner demon!

Now it's my turn to rolls my eyes. "I'm not... well, I am... but the Sage is not in control off me Megumin. He is literally me. Which sort of means he is in control of me..." This is complicated... No, it's not! She's the one making it complicated!

She punches the air. "Like I said, I won't fall for your schemes! Of course the Sage would come up with sagely stuff... evil sagely stuff! As expected of the guy who married the Witch of Envy!" Let's not even start on that.

I raise an eyebrow. "You know, if I actually was the Sage... which I am... If I actually was being controlled by some evil Sage, I could easily win in a fist fight." I'm a swordsman, even if a bare bones one, my physique is far superior to hers.

Megumin flinches. "W-well, that's true... I mean, no it's not! I'm secretly a master martial artist! Didn't you see how I beat up Bukkororii!?" No, I did not, seeing as I was far too occupied running from my teacher at the time.

I sigh. "So you insist on being troublesome huh?" I just got an idea on how to handle her however. I need to be aggressive, but I can't go hentai protagonist levels of aggressive, both because I can't unleash it's true power without breaking my morals, and because Megumin clearly did not like.

Now, what stands one level below a hentai protagonist? It's obvious, it's the otome game cocky love interest...! I think, I'm basing this information on otome game satire, so it's probably not very accurate to actual games.

I take a step forward, Megumin takes a step back, her face now red. "Hey, we aren't actually gonna fight are we...?" Her previous battle stance is now shaky, well it was already awful from it's conception, but it's getting worse with time. Maybe it would be perfect for me?

Jokes aside... "That depends on you." I can't just advance forward, or Megumin will retreat so much that she will step on the lake. At that point she's probably gonna start to swim elsewhere, and she's way more familiar with this area.

Which is why I change my position a little, moving like a bishop in chess. My hope is that when I step forward, she will move back closer and closer to a tree. After that it will be improvisation, an animal becomes dangerous and unpredictable when cornered.

Megumin is sputtering, her cute face gives me determination to do what I need to do. "H-hey...!? Why are you looking at me like I'm a piece of meat!?" Because right now you are, just one with legs, which is why you shouldn't move before I change my positioning.

Man, I don't even know if I'm in a otome game love interest mindset right now, or something else. Either way, I suppose I will test the power of Hunterbaru soon enough, I can only hope he isn't as uncontrollable as Smittenbaru or as useless as Paranoidbaru.

I'm finally where I need to be, if I move towards her now, she should move towards a tree. "Okay Megumin, let's adress the elephant in the room." I take a step forward, she takes a step back, so far so good.

I will need to keep her mind occupied with talking. If the rabbit notices the wolf, then it's gonna take off running, and I don't have the ability to track her if she decides to do more than basically just run in a straight line. I'm a pretty shitty tracker, and probably an even worse wolf.

She looks away. "Oh? So you grew some courage after all!? Then tell me why you suddenly decided to... to say those things to my mom!?" She then mutters, her lips trembling. "And the worst part is that she actually went a long with it." Yeah, Yuiyui's mind is probably a rare phenomenon.

It's my turn to blush right now though. "S-sorry, the truth is that I noticed that your mom was... sad after I rejected her yesterday. I wanted her to not be, but I probably went about it in the wrong way." Smittenbaru is probably best used when I got a woman of Yuiyui's type alone. Not that it matters right now, I take a step forward, Megumin takes a step back.

Megumin huffs, she looks haughty now. Cute. That's my MMT for you. "She wasn't sad! She was acting like usual...!" I raise an eyebrow, her usual is not good. "Okay, maybe she was a bit sad, but like... just a bit!" I'm just glad you realize it's not normal.

MMT takes a deep breath. "And... I can't believe I'm telling you this, but stay away from my mom!" Sorry, that only would have worked on the Subaru Natsuki of yesterday. "I can't believe I need to tell you this! But apparently I do!" Normally you wouldn't need to, but my hand is being forced.

She continues. "You get why I said the Sage was controlling you now!? I mean, at one moment you're acting super normal, but then you learn who you are, and suddenly you pass out and begin to think it's fine to hit on your friend's mom!" You bring good point. I shall ignore them all.

I slowly nod in her direction. "I get what you're saying." A very slight smile appears on her face, I think she believes that she is getting through me. "But I won't stop, I plan on continuing to flirt with Yuiyui when I see her again." Hopefully I will do it better however.

I take one step forward, Megumin takes one step back. It's a miracle she hasn't told me to stay still already, but without a doubt we are close to that, once it happens I will need to quicken my pace, I will need to pounce on her like a very pervy tiger.

A very forced grin appears on my face. "That's because Yuiyui likes me, and I have no reason to reject her." I raise a hand to stop her from talking. "And before you say anything, yes Yuiyui likes me, it's not a midlife crisis or anything." I take a step forward, she takes a step back.

I could have theoretically come up with some excuse or some lie, but what's the point? Megumin and Yuiyui will have to accept this arrangement eventually if they don't want to... be depressed, I guess. That said, I won't force anything, I will just insist a lot on it.

Now yes, some may argue that maybe slowly driving a girl to a tree falls a bit on the realm of forcing her to do stuff, but... Yeah, I got no argument there, but I just want to explain stuff, and if I don't do this, she'll run away.

Megumin scowls. "Okay, I'll admit it, mom is sort of into you... But it's definitely midlife crisis! She's getting old, so when a guy called Purge King showed up in her doorstep she couldn't resist!" Well, that isn't impossible for a Gumin, I'll admit, but... I know the real cause.

Should I tell MMT about what a soulmate is? I might as well, but if I start talking about that right now she's gonna return with the inner demon Sage theory and run away. Probably. I should go with the tree option, just to be safe.

Well, it seems for now she can keep thinking it's just a midlife crisis. "Then what's the problem here? We better address it now, because I won't stop making advances on your mother." I take a step forward, she takes a step back. The next one will be the last, she's too close to the tree.

Her eye twitches. "Are you really asking what the problem is?" Yeah, it was a dumb question, but I need to keep your mind working. "I just... Well, I guess I can't stop mom, and dad is okay with this for some unexplainable reason... Still, I will never forgive you if you do it Subaru." Ah, it's never a good sign when she calls me by my real name.

Anger is clear on her face. "And seriously, if you really do continue with this crazy stuff... Don't include me on it damn it! I don't need to sleep with the same guy as my mom!" It would be so hot though... But yeah, it's an impossibility.

And also unnecessary for the harem plan. I need Megumin and her mother to enter in a relationship with me, but nothing says they need to share a bed with each other. I mean, Eris doesn't even have threesomes for example.

Which is why I sent her a thumbs up. "Got it, I won't try to drag you two to my bed at the same time." My wording is very important there. By the way, MMT's body is shaking, probably in rage. "Oh, but I'll be making you into my girlfriend." One step forward, one step back. Now it's time to use the full power of a rapey sounding guy! Surely a Gumin will like that...?

Her face is as red as her eyes. "Argh, what's with you!? Stop saying absurd stuff like that!" And then she frustratedly kicks the ground. "Pick me, not my mom... I can't believe I just said that! In fact, I didn't say that, you were having delusions just now!" Honestly, at this point you might not even be lying.

I tense my body. "Megumin..." and then I pounce on her terrified body. Okay, I don't actually pounce, what I do is that I start moving forward with reckless abandon, hoping that she will move backwards in return.

She does so, eventually hitting her back on a tree. "H-huh...?" She looks backwards, disbelief fills her face. That doesn't matter right now though, what matters is that she fell for the most classic of otome maneuvers.

Right now Megumin is nothing but a bland girl with possible healer powers in the eyes of me, the prince who wants to escape from his marriage with a very hot... and very evil high ranking aristocrat. I might be getting to into the whole otome thing.

And I must get into it even more, which is why I extend my arm and do the most powerful of otome maneuvers. I hit the tree, and basically trap Megumin between it and me, that's right I just used the legendary kabedon.

I have to lower myself a bit to stare at her in the eye, and even so I tower over her, she's a pretty short girl after all. "Megumin-Tan, stop lying. You love me, don't you?" If I was a girl and a guy said that to me, I would have definitely broken his balls. Or called the cops.

Which is why I'm totally prepared for when she kicks me between the legs. "Die Kazubaru!" I don't even feel it, that's the power of a shitty swordsman who has been trained by a great swordswoman! "Eh...?" Yeah, that's the appropriate reaction for this.

I smirk, ignoring that I think what just happened was sort of funny. "Megumin-Tan, let me repeat myself. You love me, don't you?" Now stuck without any means to defend herself, MMT can only listen to what I say with a red face.

She tries her best to look away. "Of course I don't! M-maybe I did once, but now you turned into the biggest jerk ever!" I didn't turn into anything, this is just Subaru Natsuki when unchained by the world! Okay, I'll admit, this situation is affecting me a little.

I try to make my face as smug as possible, I don't know if I succeed. "Oh? You think I'm just going to ignore what you mom said? About how you were moaning my name?" I hate to bring up embarrassing stuff like this, but... Nope, I actually love to bring up stuff like this.

Megumin's eyes widen. "That was just... She was making stuff up, since she was acting like the world's biggest pervert! I'll have you know that Crimson Demons are asexual beings!" Don't say that while referencing Yuiyui a moment before.

But if she wants to play that game, then fine, we can play that game. "And what about that time when you skipped class to masturbate? Did your mom have anything to do with that?" I don't think most otome love interests talk about masturbation, but whatever. I must play with the cards I have been dealt with.

Somehow Megumin leans onto the tree even more. "You... you forgot that! You said you did!" I obviously didn't! Did you seriously think I just managed to clean away a memory like that!? That's an ability exclusive to you!

I lean in closer, whispering in her ear. "It's kind of a hard scenario to forget. Look at that proud Megumin-Tan, after basically rejecting herself she went and pleasured herself until the room was filled with her smell." It was a room that she shares with Aqua as well!

I think I'm slowly breaking through Megumin's mind. Good. "Y-you...! I could have been masturbating to someone else! Like... like Rudeus!" I have to hold back laughter at that one, mostly because I dislike that guy.

But also because I know that she literally could not be telling the truth, seeing as she's my soulmate. "You're a bad liar Megumin-Tan..." Since she pressed herself against the tree more, I get even closer. "Just admit it, you're both in love with me, and lusting for me." If my parents saw me right now, they would disown me.

Since Megumin's embarrassment has caused her to stay silent, I continue. "You fell for me as soon as we locked eyes, didn't you? It was almost like a shock ran through your body wasn't it? That's because it's destiny." I sound like a stalker creep. But I'm telling the truth, so it's probably okay...?

Megumin looks down. "I... well, it is true that I felt that shock, but...! We agreed to become friends only right!? I... I will always be here for you, but only if I'm the only one for you." So I reach the same barrier as last time.

And now I have to break past it. "Megumin-Tan, I'm gonna make your mother mine. I'm gonna your sister mine one day too." It's time to establish my sheer scummyness! I have to show her that I'm the worst guy imaginable, and that it won't change a damn thing!

She gasps. "Even Komekko!? She has a high chance of eating you alive! Please don't do it Purge King!" You're more worried about me than her!? And why do you look genuinely terrified for my life...!?

I gigg-, I chuckle, otome guys chuckle since it's hot, they don't giggle, since that's cute. "I plan on making Ariel, the princess mine, I plan on making Aqua mine, I will even marry the goddess Eris one day." MMT is now staring at me like I'm insane. She's is correct of course.

I put my hand on her chin. "My list of targets is big, and you're included of course. So, stop hurting yourself and admit that you're desperate to have me." I sure hope she is! If Wolbach was lying about how soulmates work... I'll have to end my own life.

I'm slowly raising her head. "P-Purge King... are you really serious!? You're talking like you suddenly became an Archbishop of Lust or something!" My feelings are pure... pure fear for you life! There's nothing lustful about them!

My eye twitches. "You're the lustful one here, but..." I release her chin. "I won't force you into anything, it's up to you really. Do you want to crawl into my bed now, or later? It makes no difference for me." It does, I would feel a ton more stress if you chose now.

Suddenly a loud blaring voice reaches my ears. "We are being attacked by the Demon King's army, all available Crimson Demons, please make your way to your usual posts..." It repeats that message over and over again...

Whar awful timing, specially since MMT immediately starts trying to escape. She doesn't really manage to do much though, since I have her on a kabedon and all. "Um... Purge King, please let me go... since the village is being attacked and all." She's twitching.

And she's also saying some wise things, but... "You sure love running, but I won't let you go that easily. Not until you give me my answer, now or later Megumin-Tan?" Besides, she doesn't even have her staff right now, she would be nerfed as hell.

She scowls, but it's weak, she's clearly more embarrassed than angry. "Did all the blood from your brain go to your Something-Calibur!? My village is being attacked!" Yeah, I'm sure all your friends are very happy right now.

I roll my eyes. "Yunyun's father thinks the army is a joke, you will all be fine. Besides, even if they brought some extra firepower... We have people like Wolbach in the village." She was most likely a Demon General. I literally have one of their trump cards right here.

Megumin looks down. "That's... Subaru, are you really... really gonna be with all of those people? Do you even know what that entails at all?" I don't. How the hell am I supposed to know? Only someone like... No, even my father wouldn't be able to handle this mess.

I take a deep breath. "Bet on me Megumin." That's all I can say... Well, if she rejects me again I'll back out for now, she's clearly at her limit. I must remember that love and hate are not mutually exclusive.

Megumin too takes a deep breath. "I don't like this..." And I guess that's that for now. I stop making my body so tense, it's time to put an end to this kabedon. "I... want a romantic confession, not a pervy one..." Ah. Talking about you crawling into my bed was a bit too much huh?

I put a hand on her chin. "Megumin-Tan... I... There's no way I could put what you did for me into words. You're asking for the impossible here, you can't blow up a star, I can't stop being head over heels for you." Okay... No perverted stuff, I can't make any perverted comments!

I just need to think what MMT is to me. "But I'll try, just like you did... First of all, you fixed me... or maybe you gave me the tools I needed so I could start fixing myself. You knew about that... before even Eris, before anyone else. That's why... first you became my hero." This is embarrassing.

Megumin must have felt like this when she confessed to me too. "But hero worship doesn't build a romantic relationship, what builds it is..." Destiny, at least for me. "Attraction and passion. I...! Ah, screw it." I was gonna start complementing her voice.

Or how smart she is, or how kind she is, or how hard working she is, or how much love for her craft she has, I was going to tell her that the Subaru Natsuki of the future, the Subaru Natsuki I wish to be is a bit more like her.

But words have been messing me up lately, so I have to show it through action. "Megumin-Tan, I'm going to kiss you now! Dodge it if you don't want to... or just kick me or something!" Right, it's time for a true loves kiss!

Megumin doesn't resist me, in fact she actually gets on the tips of her toes, trying to get the needed height for my kiss. I try to make it the most chaste kiss imaginable, and it is, lasting a very short while.

Megumin takes a deep breath. "Goddamn it... I..." She closer her eyes, and I stay silent, letting her think. "I wanted to be a guy's one and only. I understand that... that monogamy isn't uncommon, but..." I guess my kiss wasn't enough.

Megumin's eyes open. "Okay, I'm yours." You are!? "Being friends is impossible now, because I now how pushy this new side of yours can be... And I don't want to go back to being just an acquaintance... But I absolutely won't let you be with my mom! Or Komekko!" You will certainly try.

I smile, it's shaky. "S-so, we are in a relationship now...?" I can't believe it... Being an asshole worked!? Just how powerful is this soulmate thing!? I feel like I just realized my true evil potential!

Megumin looks away. "I-I guess we are..." A smile reaches her face. "We definitely are..." And then she looks back at me. "Subaru..." Her beautiful face is... pale as hell. "Eris is behind you." Oh. Huh, didn't she have a special rule concerning you...? Oh.

I turn around and face the dragon.

AN: Ah...! Why can't I get Navia!? Why!? I came back to Genshin just for her...!

Huh? What does that have to do with this fic? Nothing, I just wanted to rage at the unfairness of the world...

Anyways, if you like my content, make sure to check out my ! I would appreciate any and all support!