Chapter 1.3

In the end, we'd decided that I'd stay back and keep vigil over the bandits, while Jun left with his sister and two other men towards Suna. He was supposed to bring back a few shinobi, or whoever they could spare really, to take care of the bandit problem for us. It was only supposed to be half-a-day's trek from the camp itself, which meant I had some time to kill.

I didn't really have much to do besides sitting around – the people we'd rescued were all very happy to keep an eye on their former prisoners, and even happier that they'd received my permission to do to them what they thought fit, so long as none were maimed or killed. In that time, I thought over the events of the past day.

At the forefront of my mind was that the Celestial Grimoire wasn't functioning the way it had before. In the beginning, it had spat out perks as fast as I could have taken them. Now, despite several days having passed and my first real taste of combat – I grimaced at the memory of having to clean off all the blood, soot and other viscera off my body with a wet rag – it gave me nothing. It warranted further investigation, but my gut instinct was that it would not simply give me more and more power. It needed something in return – whether it was simply a function of time, of feats achieved, or something even more complicated, I knew not.

The second thought that occupied my mind was the fact that I had barely begun to understand the powers that made my birthright.

Eru had formed the Ainur from the thoughts of His mind. Each Ainu, from the lowest of Maia to the greatest of the Valar, were but fragments of The One. That fact was reflected in the authority we wielded and the powers we developed, to the point that even our dispositions were guided by it. Námo, for instance, was grim and severe, but that was equally, if not more true, of the duties the Doomsman had been given – after all, the keeping of the slain and the pronouncements of fate were fundamentally grim and severe tasks.

Who was I, before being migrated here? Did I truly exist as a Maiar who resided with Eru, or was I merely formed off the template of one who did? Was there a distinction there? I had memories of wondrous and terrible things alike, memories that invoked emotions mere adoption after the fact simply couldn't. Perhaps more importantly to my survival, how could I grow into my nature as one of the Maiar?

I was thinking along these lines when Ayako, one of the women that I'd liberated from captivity, called out to me at a distance. Joined to her hip was her son, weakened by months of captivity. Raising an eyebrow, I motioned for them to come closer. As she approached, she bowed at the waist, her son following her motions, if a tad more clumsily.

"None of that now," I said quickly, standing up. Another issue that I'd been wrangling with was the sheer reverence some of those who had been freed now seemed to possess for me. I… couldn't say I didn't like the fact that my intervention was appreciated, but the depth of said appreciation made me uncomfortable. It felt right to be regarded in such a way, and that if nothing else convinced me that I didn't want to indulge such thoughts. "What can I help you with?"

Ayako hesitated for a second, before pushing her son forward gently. "It's Yurei – he's been complaining about nightmares for weeks now. Hasn't slept more than a few hours a day."

I nodded slowly. It wasn't hard to imagine that a boy who'd been through what he had would harbour some form of trauma. Hell, I was surprised he could manage to sleep at all.

"I was just wondering if you could- if there was a way to help him…" Ayako trailed off, wringing her hands. Shame flitted across her face, as if asking me for anything was a struggle.

I frowned. "You need not say more,"

How was I meant to help the boy? I had only rudimentary knowledge of therapy – the very basics you picked up when you went through the process yourself. Certainly not enough to help someone like Yurei – chronic trauma like the boy had suffered very often manifested in something like Complex-PTSD, but even that diagnosis required time, and even more so in the case of what its treatment paths demanded.

As I mulled over how I could help, if at all, inspiration struck.

I knelt on the ground till I was close to eye level with Yurei, studying the boy for a moment. Then, I pressed my palm to his shoulder, steadying him.

"Close your eyes," I murmured, noting with some satisfaction that Yurei squeezed them shut obediently. I was distantly aware we'd gathered a bit of a crowd – even some of the bandits I restrained watched it with curiosity. I drained myself of all external thoughts, focusing inwards till I could easily sift through millennia of memories. All of the Valar were akin to gods, but not all were masters of combat. Some found themselves entrusted with other duties.

I opened my mouth, hesitating for but one second. Once I did this, there would be no going back. Even now, so much of what made me Maia was confined within my soul, locked away. This, this would change that, and no one – no one save The One – could predict what I would become once I took the first step. But then, was the memory I had found not of the night I had been most moved to descend to Arda, if only so I could witness grief in its purest form?

I smiled, and then I sang.

A mournful sound escaped my lips, cutting through the air like a harp was wont to do, settling on all onlookers like a shroud of grief so profound it muddled the senses.

Of all the Valar that existed, it was Estë whom I admired most. Estë the Gentle, Healer of Grief and Weariness, whose clothing was grey and whose gift was rest. Even the mightiest of Valar, even Melkor before he had turned away from Eru's light, had taken succour in her presence, letting her song lift away the worries he himself did not, could not understand.

Some small part of me was aware that we had company. Faint impressions at the peripherals of my vision that stood still. I recognised Jun in the midst of them, but there were others – four souls that I had not yet met, and of them, three were linked to each other. Only one, however, stood out in my mind's eye, glowing brighter than anything or anyone I had seen till then in this world. From him, too, I sensed pain, and agony.

I wasn't sure what I was doing, or even if I should have attempted it, but I lifted my voice higher till my voice drew patterns into the sand, deep indentations that shifted to resemble something I had never witnessed myself but was important to the one I sought to help nonetheless.

I changed melodies, seeking not to draw out the pain into the open, but to understand. A silver glow had begun to emanate from my eyes, wisps of light trailing around my head and upwards to the heavens. I found the parts of their minds that suffered, the parts of their brains that had begun to close off in response to the sheer trauma they'd witnessed. I found their souls, one stained with soot, the other with betrayal, and sung to them.

Yurei's responded immediately, jettisoning what it couldn't handle onto me. I absorbed it easily, dissipating it into the world at large. The other's was more reticent, as if it had been burned one too many times and now didn't dare approach the stove. It was like no other soul I had witnessed, not even in my time as a Maiar in service to Eru, for two distinct beings were enjoined as one. The older of the pair – by centuries, I noted with some alarm – snarled at my approach, warning me off.

I pressed onwards, refusing to let its anger overwhelm me. Drinking deeply of the well that made my essence as one of the Ainur, I sung in short, soft notes to the older being, conveying the sincerity of my purpose. I had not known it was there, but now that I did, I would carry both of their burdens for them. I would take them far away, till no more harm could befall them, till their pain would no longer prevent the process of healing.

I did not know it then, but my body burned in light, scattering the approaching darkness away. The sand close to my feet began turning transparent, heating till it was smooth glass.

Then the song finished, trailing off in a burst of chords that plucked at the heart, reassured the mind, soothed the soul. I knew what I had done had great consequences for my metaphysical standing. It was like I'd opened myself up to an entirely different realm of existence that I had only perenially known existed before.

By this point, Yurei had fallen asleep in my arms, breathing softly, evenly.

I took a deep breath in, finally opening my eyes. Handing Yurei to his mother's weeping form, I glanced at the newcomers.

Two children some years older than Yurei stood behind a man in his thirties. Him I recognised as a Suna-nin immediately, his flak-jacket and headband telling me all there was to know. There was a girl with blonde hair, a massive fan strapped to her back. Next to her was a boy with odd purple markings on his face, crouched and partially hidden. I could smell the fear emanating from them all. Worryingly, none of it seemed to be directed towards me.

I moved towards them slowly, cautiously. As I approached, the Sand-nin drew out a kunai, levelling it at my face. It was only a pained sob that stilled him. He shot me a look before turning towards his last charge in desperation and no small amount of terror, as if the Sand-nin was afraid of taking his eyes off of him. My eyes trailed in the same direction.

There, a boy with hair the colour of the afternoon sun knelt on the ground, palms digging into the sand. He was weeping, tears falling from his eyes freely. At my sudden proximity, the boy looked up, teal eyes finding mine in almost rapturous awe, as if I had taken away a problem he did not know existed.

Suddenly, the identities of the four clicked in my head.

Oh. Oh. That wasn't good at all.

"Why does mother weep?" Gaara of the Desert rasped, somehow finding the strength to straighten from where he had been kneeling. His voice came out rough and scratchy as if it had long since fallen into disuse. "Why does she say you remind her of her father?"

AN: This is a shorter chapter than the last two, but I thought that was a nice place to end this arc. Should have another out in the next few hours.

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