Prompt #17: A street kid, an orphan, somehow comes in contact with either Olivia or Amanda or Elliot or Carisi. Perhaps by attempting pickpocketing. When it is discovered the kid has no family, he or she is taken in by one of the individuals or couples. Either way, the kid brings the couple together at Christmas and possibly finds a forever home.
A Home for Christmas
~oOo~
Olivia is lost in her thoughts as she tries to decide which size of Reese's Cups pack she wants. The day seems never-ending. She still has a hundred things to do before she can get home to her son and sweats, and some fresh air seemed like a great idea ten minutes ago.
Christmas is just around the corner and she has been stalling on getting her shopping done. It used to be simple, just gifts for Noah and a little something for her that "Santa" would leave under the tree. But this year, she needs to find gifts for five grown adults, two children, a grandmother, and her boyfriend. So instead, she focuses on work, the sixteen files she's supposed to be reviewing, and the three court dates she has in the next two weeks. This year's winter is a lot to handle and candy is her salvation at the moment.
Olivia shakes her head out of her spiral thinking and goes to grab the snack but she's interrupted by shouts coming from the man at the register.
"Hey, hey, what's going on?" she asks, hands raised, flashing her badge.
"Little missy here, tried stealing. I'm calling the cops," the owner of the bodega answers, a firm hand attached to a girl's arm. She's struggling against his hold but he won't let go. The girl can't be over 10 years old, she's wearing a coat two sizes too small and her long legs and long arms stick out, her brown hair untamed and her big brown eyes terrified.
"I'm the cops," Olivia says. "Let her go and we'll figure it out." He releases the kid who doesn't wait to bold toward the door but the Captain is quick and grabs her gently in her middle.
"Hey…hey…it's okay." She tries to calm the girl. "You're not in trouble," she adds, earning a scoff from the man still standing at the counter.
The girl finally calms down and drops her knees to the floor. Olivia crouches to her level and tries to reach her eye-line.
"Hey kiddo, I'm Olivia, what's your name?" she asks, a hand on her chest as she introduces herself.
The girl shakes her head. Eyes closed. Mouth shut.
"Someone better pay for her or I'm filing a complaint," the man shouts. Olivia stands and gives him ten dollars for the pack of mini Reese's and a glare.
She draws her attention back to the girl still on the floor clutching herself, handing her the snack.
"They are my favorite too," Olivia whispers with a smile. That earns her two big brown eyes that open and light up. "Let's get out of here, my office is right around the corner. We can call your parents from there."
The girl's eyes well up with tears and she shakes her head again. "No, please."
"I'm sure they are worried about you. You're not going to be in any trouble. I promise."
"Not s'pposed to go with strangers."
Olivia hides a chuckle. "That's very good. You know how to keep yourself safe." She gets her badge out again. "I'm a police captain. That means I keep people safe and I help children get back home when they get lost. So if you come with me, we'll find your parents and I'll get you home." The girl's eyes are stuck on her shield.
"You protect people?" she asks as she traces the pattern of the badge slowly.
"Yes, I do. Do you know someone who needs to be protected?"
The girl nods. She's biting her bottom lip trying to figure out her next words carefully.
"You won't tell on me?" Olivia shakes her head. "So I won't get in trouble?"
"Exactly. It's just between us two. And the grumpy old man behind the counter," she adds.
"Okay," the kid finally says. She stands on her feet and takes the pack of candy in one hand, her second finding Olivia's right hand as she stands.
~oOo~
The walk to the precinct is short, just one block, which turns out to be too little time to get a name out of the girl.
The way up SVU's floor is even shorter, and she still doesn't get a name. Or a word.
They enter the squad room, no one minding them, until Fin's head shoots up from a file. "Liv? Need any help?"
"No, I'm good. Can you send Velasco to my office when he's back ?" she asks, and he nods. Eyes still on the girl clutching his Captain's hand.
In her office, she takes her coat off and the girl lets go of her hand but doesn't make a move in the unfamiliar space.
"Do you want to take your coat off?" Olivia asks calmly.
The girl shakes her head no.
"That's okay. How about you settle down on the couch?" She points to her leather couch in the corner of her office. The girl shrugs and takes a few steps towards it but doesn't sit.
When Detective Joe Velasco comes in, it's almost in a jog. He stops in his tracks as he enters the office, a little out of breath. "Hey Cap, wanted to see me?"
Olivia turns quickly to greet him and slow him down, a small smile on her face. "Joe, I—"
She hears a sharp inhale behind her and a whimper. She turns back but only sees a flash of brown and pink flee to her desk.
"Cap?" Velasco starts asking, Olivia shushing him with a sign of her finger.
"Gimme a sec." She walks to her desk and bends a little. The girl is tucked in a ball, her arms clutching her knees, clearly shaking as she hears a small sob.
"It's just Joe. He's a friend." Her voice is soft and calm.
"No. He's gonna be mad." It's merely a whisper. So quiet Olivia almost misses it.
She gets up and leads her detective out of her office. "I was in the bodega down the street, she tried stealing some candy and I got involved. She hasn't given me her name yet, and she hasn't even tried to get in touch with her parents. From her clothes and her hair and how she just reacted to you, I'd say something is going on. I'm going to try and calm her down, so we can track her parents. Can you check if we have any report of a missing kid matching her?"
"Any details that could help us?"
"She hasn't said a word… I'd say she's 9, maybe 10, brown hair, brown eyes. Pink and purple puffer coat and dark jeans."
"On it, Cap." Velasco nods and goes back to the squad room.
Oliva takes a breath before walking back into her office. She closes the door, rounds her desk, and bends once more.
"Hey…hey, honey, it's okay. You're okay… He's gone. It's just me. I promise."
"Not honey. I'm not…honey," the girl whispers in between sobs from under the desk.
"Okay." Olivia swallows. Whatever happened to this child, it was bad. She can feel it in her gut. And her instinct is telling her to protect her, to crouch on the floor, under her desk, a soothing hand on her back. "So what should I call you?" she asks quietly.
"Char…Charlie."
Olivia sighs, relief washing over her. "Hi, Charlie. How about we get on the couch? It's much more comfortable than down here." The girl nods.
She gets out easily and waits while Olivia crawls out, her knees popping as she stands up again. She leads them to the couch, Charlie takes a seat and wipes her tears in her coat's sleeve.
"So, Charlie, can you tell me your mom's name? Or your address? I'm sure she's very worried about you and we should tell her you're safe."
She nods reluctantly and gives her address, her mother's name, and says, "Mommy was asleep when I left. She doesn't like it when I wake her up."
~oOo~
When Velasco and Churlish get to the apartment, they expect a panicked mother or worried neighbors. They get neither.
No one answers and after a minute, they open the unlocked door. The place is cold, silent. It looks empty at first. A few vodka bottles litter the kitchen table, another is half-empty next to the couch. They walk through the place carefully until they come across one of the bedroom doors. Charlie's mother is lying in her bed, still dressed in the day's clothes.
The detectives walk to her and the sinking feeling settles.
"Shit," Velasco whispers. "Call it in Churlish. Get the M.E. I'm calling Benson."
~oOo~
Olivia hangs up the phone and swallows the lump in her throat as she watches Charlie taking a nap on her office couch. She had managed to get her to take off her coat and fed her pizza when she realized she was starving. The kid had not eaten anything other than cereal in the past two days and when the box was empty, her mother in bed and her stomach grumbling, Charlie had tried her luck in the streets of Manhattan until she'd ended up in the bodega.
Her mother probably overdosed on booze and pills from the scene Velasco described. She was most likely already dead when Charlie left the apartment that morning according to the M.E's first assessment.
She wakes the sleeping child slowly, soft eyes and soft voice raising her from her slumber. "Hey Charlie, wake up…"
She opens her eyes slowly and for a moment, Olivia feels like she is looking in a mirror. Big brown eyes stare back at her, waiting, little hands clutching the afghan she's wrapped in.
"Charlie, we found your mommy."
"She coming to get me?"
"No, she's not, baby. I'm so sorry… Your mommy is… dead," Olivia says finally.
She has done it a million times. Told way too many people their loved ones were dead. Gone. Never coming back. She has told parents and siblings and children. But telling a child their sole caretaker is gone never gets easier. Her heart shatters for the girl.
Charlie nods. "She's with the angels? Like daddy?"
"Yes. Is there anyone else around? Your grandparents? Aunts? Uncles?" The girl shakes her head at each word.
"It's just me. Me and mommy… It's just me now."
Olivia's heart stops for a second. She wants to wrap her arms around the girl and promise her everything will be okay, but she doesn't make promises she can't keep. So she keeps her mouth shut and brushes Charlie's hair out of her teary face.
"We'll figure something out, okay?" she says softly as Charlie settles in a corner of the couch, wrapping her arms around her legs. She looks so small hunched under the afghan. She doesn't make a sound as silent tears stream down her face.
~oOo~
Olivia makes calls and sends emails to CPS to get someone to the precinct but no one shows. The services are drowning every day of the year, but the holiday season brings its own overflow of cases and family checks and paperwork.
Charlie, whose name is actually Charlotte as Churlish found out from the search of the apartment, hasn't moved for hours. She's clutching her giraffe that Velasco brought back from her room, with some clothes and a few essentials. She doesn't say a word, doesn't ask for anything. She just stares at the window and pets her plush giraffe.
Olivia hears the sound of a bag being opened but she doesn't move, keeping her eyes on the screen. A small hand appears in the corner of her eye, dropping a mini cup and retreating. She smiles, turns her head toward the couch where her visitor is settled once more.
"Thank you, Charlie," Olivia says.
"They're your favorite too." She shrugs and pops her own in her mouth.
Olivia picks up her phone once more and after three calls, ten emails and a judge's approval she releases the breath she'd been holding in her chest. She looks over at the girl who's drawing on a corner of her desk and smiles quietly.
"Hey, Charlie? What do you say we get out of here?" Olivia asks gently.
Charlie drops her pencil, startled by the offer. "And go where?"
"If it's okay with you, you can come home with me tonight. And you can stay with me and my son for a few days while we figure out what happened to your mom. Would that be alright with you?"
The girl nods and her hair falls in front of her face. She pushes them and looks up at Olivia, tears in her eyes. "Okay…"
Her heart breaks at the small sound, brown eyes meet and tears start rolling on the child's face. Olivia brushes a few strands out of her face and gently strokes her cheeks. "It's going to be okay, Charlie. I'll make sure you're okay and that nothing bad happens. I promise."
~oOo~
Noah's doing pirouettes in the living room when they arrive. He has been trying to get to three full turns for weeks, the coffee table seems to have found a permanent place against the wall, and the couch is in the middle of the room turning trips to the kitchen into parkour during the day.
He stops dancing when they cross the door and his smile falls when he sees the unexpected guest.
"Who's that?" he asks, scrunching his nose, his hands on his hips.
"Noah, this is Charlie, she'll stay with us for a few days," Olivia states as she raises her eyebrows at her son, expecting better manners. She then turns to the girl who is half hiding behind her legs. "Charlie, meet Noah. My son."
The girl bites her lip and waves to Noah. "Hi…" she whispers.
"Hey," he says back. "I need to wash my hair," he adds as he picks up his phone and goes to the bathroom. Olivia can only nod as she walks into the apartment. Her preteen is giving her the cold shoulder, it's not unusual these days, but it hurts her to see him growing up. She wishes he was still her sweet little boy, eager to reach for her instead of avoiding her in favor of his phone.
She makes small talk with Martha before she leaves. Charlie hovers over the couch and waits.
When Olivia turns back, she smiles and grabs the small bag from the floor.
"So, how about we get you settling in? You can hang your coat there, put your shoes under the bench in the entry, and we'll get dinner sorted. What do you want to eat tonight?" she says as she discards her own and walks toward the girl.
Charlie shrugs, fiddling with her coat zipper and biting her lips. "I don't know," she says quietly, her eyes fixed on a corner of the rug.
Olivia crouches to her level, pushes her hair out of her face, behind her ears. "Charlotte, look at me." The girl raises her eyes from the floor and looks at the Captain with kind brown eyes that are so unlike the ones she's used to. "Charlie, I promise you you're safe here with me and Noah. And I promise you, you are welcome in our home. I want you to be comfortable here, okay? No matter how long or how short your stay is, this is your home too. Okay?"
Charlie's eyes fill with water but she fights her tears and only nods. She takes her coat off, places it carefully next to Noah's, then her shoes, and sets them neatly next to Olivia's boots. She goes back to the living room and eyes her bag. "Can I get Nini?" she asks. Upon Liv's confused look, she points to her bag. "Nini, my giraffe. Can I have her back? Or do I have to wait for bedtime?"
"No, of course, you can keep her with you," Olivia says as she opens the bag and gets the plush giraffe out. She gives it to Charlie who squeezes it hard against her chest and she buries her face into its half-gone fur. She climbs on the couch and pulls her legs to herself.
The unfamiliar space, the prospect of sleeping somewhere she doesn't know, in a stranger's house, with a well-meaning lady she has known for less than a day, all these changes coming… She's overwhelmed and for a minute, Olivia sees her younger self in the girl. A broken home and a little girl who had to fend for herself because her mother was too drunk to care.
~oOo~
Dinner is a quiet affair. Noah eyes his phone the whole time but doesn't reach for it. Charlie swallows her mac and cheese so fast, she ends up spending the rest of dinner looking at them while they eat. Olivia tries to get her son to talk about his day, but she only gets monosyllabic words and shrugs and "it was fine"s.
When the plates are cleared and the bellies full, they clear the table quietly. Noah does it out of habit. Charlie looks at him and follows suit which makes Olivia smile. The girl has been looking at her son with awe all evening, she even tried to ask him about the dance moves he was trying when they came home, but Noah wasn't in the mood to talk it seemed.
Then he goes for his usual shower and goes to pack his bags for school and dance practice the next day. Charlie sits back at the table while Olivia loads the dishwasher, a frown on her face, a hundred questions on her lips.
"Hum…Olivia ?" Charlie starts. Olivia's head shoots up from her task and gives her a smile, her full attention on her.
"I didn't go to school today. Do you think Mrs. Carter will be mad?"
Olivia shakes her head. "We called your school, and your teacher was not mad, she was worried for you. But you can go back tomorrow if you're up for it."
Charlie bites her lip and nods. "I can?"
"Of course, Charlie. I'm following your lead. If you want to, you can. If you don't or if you change your mind, you don't go. We'll figure it out."
"Okay…" She drops her head and fumbles with her words. "Where…I don't…I… " She exhales frustrated.
Olivia closes the dishwasher, dries her hands, and comes back to the kitchen table. She sits next to Charlie and takes her little hands. Her thumb rubs circles on the back of the girl's hands.
"Take your time… What is on your mind?"
Charlie inhales and exhales, thinking her words through. "Where am I going to sleep?"
"You'll stay in Noah's room tonight, if that's okay with you."
"Where will he go?"
"He'll stay with me. My bed is big enough for both of us, don't worry about it."
"Okay." She nods. She doesn't meet Olivia's eyes and whispers, "I feel icky… Can I take a bath?"
"I don't have a bath, but I do have an awesome shower you can use." Charlie smiles bright, brighter than she has all day.
"Awesome," she whispers.
Olivia frowns. "Charlie, when is the last time you took a bath?"
"Mommy doesn't want me to do it when she's not there. She said I could drown. And I don't want to drown. I know how to swim, but you can't really swim in the bathtub…" She trails off. "So it was before she went out the other day… I wanted to last night but Mommy was asleep. Her boyfriend didn't let me go to the bathroom at all the day before."
Olivia's eyes soften then, she exhales and thumbs the girl's cheek slowly.
"You can shower, sleep, and eat all you want here. I want you to make yourself at home, okay?"
Charlie nods and smiles up to her.
Once Noah is done in the bathroom, he goes to his room to change the sheets and get it ready for Charlie to sleep in. He huffs and puffs as he gets his things out for the night. He takes his Switch and headphones to his mother's bed and turns in without a word.
While Charlie showers, Olivia stands guard at the door at her request, she's sitting in the hallway, her back on the wall. She watches Noah as he gets his room ready for her guest and she silently wishes he would talk to her. Tell her what is bothering him so much about the situation. He has given up his room for Jesse and Billie before, and he still sometimes ends up in her bed after a nightmare, or a spell of insomnia, or on a sick day. It seems so unlike her son to be closed off and uninviting.
Charlie comes out of the bathroom in her pajamas, her hair is still wet and tangled. Olivia stands from her spot on the floor, knees cracking loudly. She offers to brush the girl's hair, maybe even braid it, earning her an awestruck smile. Charlie's eyes light up. "You would? Mommy doesn't brush my hair, she says I'm too old and I have to do it myself. Braids are so pretty though… I can't do them. I don't know how…" Olivia extends her hands which she takes, she grabs a brush and hair ties and leads the girl to the couch.
Charlie sits on the carpet in front of the couch, Olivia behind her, and she starts talking about her life, her friends from school, and the books she loves to read while her hair gets brushed with care, and then braided. It's nice, Olivia thinks, to hear her babbling happily, a stark contrast with the frightened girl from the morning.
"Can I play before bed?" Noah asks from her bedroom doorway, his Switch in hand, a frown on his face.
"Twenty minutes, then lights out, okay baby?" Noah rolls his eyes and goes to the bed. He'll take what he gets, at least it means he can call Connor while he plays and they can plan his upcoming trip upstate.
While he settles and plays with his brother over the phone, Olivia tucks Charlie into Noah's bed. The girl marvels at the fresh sheets that smell like lavender, she snuggles her giraffe under the covers and braces herself for the dark. "I can get you a night light if you want, or I can keep the door open," Olivia offers.
"I'm okay," counters Charlie. Olivia smiles and closes the door behind her.
Thirty minutes later, she makes her way to her own room, kisses Noah's curls, and tucks him in tighter than she normally would. "I love you, sweet boy," she tells him.
He throws a little "Love you" and turns on his side. She closes the door quietly, lays her head on it, and exhales.
In the corner of her eye, Noah's door opens, revealing a shaky Charlie.
"Sweetheart, you okay?" Olivia asks.
Charlie won't raise her head but she sees tears in her eyes. She crouches in front of her, puts a hand on her chest, and rubs small circles to soothe her. Charlie sniffles, her lips are trembling. The tears start to fall on her cheeks and she buries herself in Olivia's arms as a sob roars from her throat. Comfort comes in a soothing voice and warm words, in a mother's arms tight around her little body. They settle back on the couch, Charlie's head is lying on Olivia's lap, her hand drawing circles on her back as her eyes finally close. She drifts off and mumbles a quiet, "Thank you, Olivia," before she falls into a dreamless sleep.
~oOo~
At exactly 9 pm, a soft knock resonates through the hallway. Olivia startles but stays still while Charlie's head is laid on her lap. She really doesn't want to disturb her now that she's asleep. She mutes the TV and waits a second. Maybe she imagined the noise. Except the knock happens a second time. Shit. She forgot tonight's plans.
She gets up from the couch, replacing herself with a pillow under the girl's head, and makes her way to the door.
"Hey, beautiful…" Elliot grins as he appears behind the door. His brow furrows when he sees her confused and apologetic look. "Everything okay?"
She steps out of the way and lets him in. "Something came up. I totally forgot you were coming tonight." She doesn't move from the hallway, doesn't invite him further into her home which is strange.
They have been seeing each other every few days since he came back almost a month ago. He has been back, and solid, and here, and she is ready for more. She is ready for him, for them. She told him, he sealed it in a kiss, and now they have been seeing each other as much as they can with two busy work schedules and kids and a mother in assisted living, and brothers coming back out of nowhere.
Elliot takes his shoes off, shreds his jacket, and sets both in their designated place, next to Olivia's and Noah's, and a pink and purple one he has never seen. She tiptoes to the living room, he follows and then stops in his tracks.
"Benson, where did you find this kid?" he asks, chuckling to himself.
"Not in a drawer," she says, half joking, half serious.
"What?" Oh. Right. She thinks. He still doesn't know the whole story of how she became a mother.
"Hum… Noah. I found him in a drawer during a raid. He was just a couple of months old." She tries to be casual about it. But his brows furrow and he reaches for her. "Everything is okay, El. Noah was okay. He was perfect, and then, he was my son. It's fine." She pulls away towards the kitchen, away from the couch, and out of reach for small ears, but not out of sight in case Charlie wakes.
"Liv, what's going on?" Elliot adds, his voice worried and his eyes confused as to why there is an unknown little girl asleep on her couch. He takes her hands in his and squeezes gently before pulling her closer. She lets go of his hands and snakes hers around his back, clinging to him, burying her face into his chest. She inhales his cologne, closes her eyes, breathing slowly against him. "She has no one," she whispers finally.
"Her mother's dead. Her father too from what she said. I don't think she has any family, or if she does, she never met anyone. It was just her and her mother. And her mother's gone. She ODed on pills and vodka. Charlie was probably in the next room when it happened." Tears start rolling down her cheeks as she tells the story of the sleeping little girl. "She left the apartment because she couldn't find anything to eat. The place was… God! Velasco said he only found an empty cereal box, expired eggs that had basically turned into mold, and bottles scattered everywhere."
She shakes her head and wipes away her tears. "Who does that to their kid, El?" she asks dumbfounded. She doesn't expect an answer. She has worked SVU for long enough to know the truth and the pain of these situations. Still, she cannot fathom doing it to her child, to any child. "She walked around Manhattan on her own for hours before she ended up in the bodega by the precinct. She was so hungry, she tried stealing some candy and the owner was yelling at her when he caught her. I intervened, I took her to the precinct with me so I could find her family, but… but all we found was her dead mother. And then no one could take her in. I couldn't find any emergency placement. CPS is swamped and I couldn't… This is so fucked up. I couldn't leave her, El. I couldn't." Her eyes lean on Charlie and she watches the rise and fall of her chest. She looks finally calm, at peace, after the hellish day she had.
"She reminded you of you. When no one helped. So now you want to be there for her, the way you wished someone had been for you." Elliot's words bring her attention back to him. "That's okay, babe." He thumbs the last of her tears and brushes a strand of her hair.
"Hi." Olivia smiles up at him, then pushes on her toes to reach and kiss him.
Elliot chuckles. "Hello."
"I'm sorry about tonight." She pecks his lips once more.
"Don't be. It's alright. You're right where you need to be, and I'm right there with you." His arms tighten around her and she rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
After a while, Olivia detaches herself from Elliot's comforting arms. "I need to get her in Noah's bed."
"Let me. Don't want you to hurt your hip," he offers, but she shakes her head.
"No, I don't want her to freak out. She… she reacted badly when Velasco came into my office. I don't know what set her off but I don't want to risk it."
He nods, understanding passing through them. But then, he furrows his brows as she makes her way toward the couch. "Where's Noah?"
"What?" Olivia turns around to face him again. "What do you mean?" It registers then. "Oh! You mean… He's in my bed. I didn't want either of them on the couch and I don't have an extra mattress or a guest room, so it'll have to do for now."
Elliot laughs a little at that. "I bet he was thrilled to have to sleep in his mom's room."
"Oh, believe me, he wasn't. He hasn't said a word to me, and I'm pretty sure his entire call with Connor was about how life is unfair." She rolls her eyes but smiles. Raising a toddler had been rough or so she had thought at the time, but now that she was raising a preteen, she wished her little boy would stay little and soft or stop growing up altogether.
After carrying Charlie to bed and tucking her in, she makes sure Noah is asleep in her room before joining Elliot on the couch. She tucks herself into his side and closes her eyes, the weight of the day finally catching up with her. Elliot's hand is slowly rubbing her arm and from the feel alone, she might fall asleep. It doesn't matter that her back will hurt tomorrow, or that her neck will be pulled the wrong way. Here, she feels safe, and calm washes over her.
"You could stay at my place for a while," he whispers after a while. Her head shoots up.
"I have room. I have plenty of rooms, actually. Noah could stay in Eli's and Charlie could stay in Mama's," he suggests. He sounds firm but uncertain. Maybe he has gone too far, offering his home. He has barely seen her since he's been back, he has kissed her plenty and has made love to her exactly twice, but this feels like a big step in whatever this is.
"And where would I sleep?" she teases.
"With me." He exhales. "I'd get to fall asleep with you in my arms, and I'd get to wake up with you. It'd be a pretty great way to start the day." She hums at that.
"I really appreciate the offer, but I have to check with CSP. You're not registered to foster and I have to check with Noah. I don't want this to disturb his routine more than it already has. And I don't know if—"
"I get it," he stops her rambling. "Offer still stands if you need it. But know that I would be delighted to have you guys staying with me." She nods against his chest and falls asleep quickly as the thrum of his heart resonates in her ears.
~oOo~
"Who are you?" Charlie asks as she stares at Elliot and Olivia snuggled and asleep on the couch.
They both jump awake at the sound. Elliot's feet knock the empty glass off the coffee table. Olivia raises quickly from the couch, putting as much distance from Elliot as she can.
"Charlie," she says out of breath from the rude awakening. "You're awake? What… what time is it?" She turns her head to the kitchen and reads the time on the oven's clock. 6.21 am.
"Charlie, it's a little early, is everything okay?" she asks as she strokes the girl's head softly.
Charlie nods and smiles. "You said I could go to school today. I want to go. Can I go?"
Olivia rubs her eyes and thinks for a second. "Yeah, you can go. Of course, you can go."
"And you'll take me to school?"
"Yes, of course I will." Olivia sees Elliot's confused look but she ignores it.
"Awesome! I'll get ready super fast, I promise," Charlie says before she skips to Noah's room. But then she stops and turns around. "And, will you pick me up, too?"
"Yes, I will," Olivia answers.
Charlie's face lights up and she runs to Olivia to hug her as tight as she can. "Awesome," she whispers into the hug.
Something registers suddenly and she looks up at Olivia and comes back to her first inquiry. "Who is this?" She points to Elliot.
Olivia blushes and Elliot rubs his neck as warmth spreads on his own cheeks.
"Oh. This is my… This is Elliot," she offers.
"Is he Noah's dad?" Charlie adds as she tilts her head to look more closely at him. Olivia is frozen at the unexpected question and she is definitely not awake enough to start elaborating on who Elliot is to her.
"I'm not, Charlie. I'm a friend of the Bensons," Elliot cuts in. "I am going to make pancakes for breakfast. Anything special you want on them?"
"Hum… Can I have blueberries?" Charlie sizes him up.
"If Liv has them, I don't see why not," he says as he makes his way to the kitchen.
"'Liv? Who's that?" Charlie's nose crunches as she asks the question and for a split second, Elliot could swear the kid is hers. He smiles and points to Olivia. Charlie turns to her. "Olivia is so pretty though."
Olivia smiles then and crouches to her level. "Charlotte is also a very pretty name, but you prefer Charlie, don't you?" The girl nods. "Well, some of my friends call me Liv, some others call me Olivia. I like both, and you can call me whichever you prefer." Olivia bops the girl's nose as she talks.
She runs back to get ready for the day, she looks excited to go back to school, excited to be dropped off and picked up. Like it doesn't happen often and considering her stories from the night before, Olivia figures the poor kid has had to fend for herself and take care of herself for years. It must be crazy for her to see a parent actually caring for a child, for her, like she must have wished every day as she watched her friends' families.
~oOo~
Olivia basically flees her office at 3 pm. She promised Charlie she'd pick her up and she fully commits to keep her word. Fin can be in charge for the rest of the day.
She gets to Noah's school first, he is excited that his mom's there and dropping him at rehearsal. It has been a rare occurrence over the last few months. His frown grows as they get closer to Charlie's school and not to the dance studio. Noah stops talking altogether once she jumps in the car. Olivia drives them to his rehearsal, where he gets out of the car and slams it closed, making the two passengers left jump in their seats. They follow him in the studio and sit through his rehearsal. Olivia doesn't do this often, she doesn't get to sit and watch her son dance. It's somewhat hypnotic to see him lose himself in the music and the steps.
Next to her, Charlie watches, mesmerized. Noah spins and turns and jumps, his movements sharp and focused. He doesn't flinch when his ankle gives a little on the double spin and he doesn't let anything show on his face when he misses a step. He catches up with the group, long strides getting him to his place and the choreography picks up without an itch. Charlie wants to clap once the music stops but Olivia shakes her head before she can. "It's only a rehearsal, we have to be extra quiet if we don't want the teacher to kick us out," she whispers. "But when they perform on stage, we can clap as loud as we want." Charlie nods once, eyes sparkling at the idea of seeing it all again on stage, with costumes and lights.
The rehearsal ends, the kids pack their gear and run out the door with their parents. Noah is the last one out. He seems lighter and has a smile on his face as he waves goodbye to his friends, then he joins his mother and Charlie who praises him and asks to learn the moves she just witnessed, and his smile falls. He grumbles a small thanks and rolls his eyes. The ride back home is quiet. When Olivia announces pizza night, she barely gets a word from Noah so Charlie doesn't say a thing.
Elliot is waiting at the door, pizzas in hand, leaning against the doorframe. A quick look at the trio tells him everything he needs. Olivia opens the door and lets Noah get in first, fleeing to the bathroom for a shower. Charlie follows and sits at the kitchen table to start on her homework. Olivia shrugs and smiles weakly at Elliot in the hallway. He stops her with a hand on her elbow, she turns and tilts her head, big brown eyes full of worry and heartache. He leans in to kiss her and her shoulders relax.
"Hey, Captain," Elliot says with a smile.
"Hi," she replies, a lump in her throat.
"Talk to me, Benson. What's going on?"
She chuckles and arches her brow. "How long have you got?" They shed their coats and boots. She places Noah's on the rack, Charlie's are neatly parked already. Elliot gets the pizzas in the oven to stay warm.
Charlie digs into her homework without a word, she looks like she is trying to disappear in her chair.
In the kitchen, Olivia runs her hand on Elliot's arm absentmindedly. He pushes her locks behind her ear.
"Noah is not liking this situation. He has been… distant, closed off… Kinda mean, actually. I don't get it. He's usually so sweet and welcoming, but with Charlie, it's a whole other story," Olivia finally says.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Elliot offers. She bites her lips.
"Would you? I can't get through to him. I'm at a loss…"
"Maybe he just needs some guy time." Elliot grins. She rolls her eyes and laughs.
"Alright, Detective. Work your magic, then. After dinner." He nods, gives her a quick kiss, and then turns to Charlie with finger guns.
"Hey, Charlie! How was school? Learn anything fun today?" The girl's head shoots up from her notebook and she smiles. He helps her with the spelling exercise. Olivia throws in a load of laundry. Noah finishes his shower and locks his room to do his homework.
After an hour, once her homework is done, Charlie goes to the bathroom to wash up, and Noah comes out of his room. Elliot and Olivia are sharing a glass of wine on the couch, talking quietly, his hand on her thigh, her head on his arm lying on the back of the cushions. She's smiling more now that Elliot's back, Noah thinks. She turns her head when she sees him, a wishful smile on her lips. Elliot turns to him, his hand leaving Olivia's thigh.
"Hey, bud, how was rehearsal?" he asks eager to hear about the highs and lows of dance rehearsal a week from the recital.
"'twas fine. Clarissa keeps messing up her solo. Lola might have to step in."
"Ouch, that's rough!"
Noah shrugs. "That's dance, El. That's how it is." He turns to his mom. "Can I eat in my room?"
"No. We're waiting for Charlie and then we'll have dinner," she answers.
"Great." He throws her a roll of his eyes as he walks back to his room. "Call me when she's done."
"Noah! Come back here," Olivia requests as she stands. He turns and looks at her, a challenge in his stance. "Talk to me, baby. What is going on with you?"
Noah sighs but doesn't answer.
"Noah, whatever's bothering you, you can tell your mom and me," Elliot tries.
The frown on his face gets deeper, his blue eyes darkening as his teeth clench. "I don't want to talk about it."
"What about, Noah?" Olivia inquiries. "You know you can tell me anything."
"Like you care."
"I do care, Noah."
"You don't care about me. You only care about all the other kids. And then, you bring them home with you," he yells suddenly.
"Noah…" She takes a step towards him, her hand extended to touch his shoulder. Noah dodges her hand and retreats from her.
"Like you did me! And now you've found better than me because she looks like you!" he adds pointing at the bathroom door.
Olivia gasps and backs off shaken. Her hand on her stomach like she's just been punched. Tears start to pool in her eyes, her chin shaking as she struggles to respond.
"Noah…" Her voice breaks.
The door of the bathroom opens slowly, revealing a shaking little girl. Noah looks at her with so much anger she steps back. He runs to his room and slams the door. Elliot cringes at the sound of the hinges. He takes a step toward Olivia who is stuck in her spot. He reaches for her back, bringing her back to him. She looks at him, tears on her cheeks, a hand over her mouth, total disbelief at the turn of events.
"Elliot… I… What have I done?" She shakes her head, wipes her tears, then she looks between the doors of Noah's room and the bathroom where Charlie is standing still.
"I got him, Liv," Elliot whispers, a hand on her hip, as he passes her to get to the closed door.
She turns back to Charlie whose eyes are reddening by the minute. Olivia kneels before her to wipe her tears before they fall. Charlie runs into her arms and clings onto her tightly.
"Are you gonna make me leave?" she whimpers weakly.
"Shhhh, you're not going anywhere. You're staying right here with us," Olivia assures her. She runs her hand in the girl's wet hair and once they have both settled their breath, she braids them and they dig into the pizza waiting for them.
On the other side of the door, Noah buries his face into his bed, warm tears pooling into the sheets. Elliot closes the door and settles on the wooden frame, his hands behind his back as the boy cries. His sobs quiet down and then he feels a warm, strong, caring hand rub his back. Noah sits up and turns to throw himself into Elliot's arms. He hugs the boy and whispers soft words as the last of his tears are let loose.
"She hates me," Noah says between shaky breaths.
"Who hates you, Noah?"
"Mom."
Elliot places both hands on his shoulders and makes him look into his eyes. Blues ones find their match.
"Noah, your mother loves you more than anything. She has loved you since before she knew you, since before you were even born. Olivia Benson has wished and dreamed of you, Noah, for as long as I have known her. So never, never question that love. She has never and will never hate you. She loves you more than life, Noah."
"But I—"
"You were unkind, yes, and you said some hurtful things, yes. But she's still your mom, no matter what."
Noah buries his face into his neck. Elliot can feel him holding his tears in, keeping his sadness and anger and every other emotion his heart holds. He rubs circles on his back, the other hand in his curls.
"What is it about Charlie? Has she said or done anything?" Elliot asks once he feels Noah's breath even.
"No. It's just…" Noah shakes his head. "She looks like Mom when she was little. She likes books like Mom. She looks just like Mom."
"And you look like me." Noah's heart stops and his eyes grow tenfold.
"I don't. You're not… I don't."
"Yes, you do. Your eyes are the same as mine. And when you grin…" Elliot smiles. "I used to think it was your mom's but that's more mine than hers. Or maybe we spent too much time together." He chuckles. "You are more your mom's than you realize, Noah." The child rolls his eyes. "See, right there. That's a Benson trademark. But most importantly, you have her heart, her passion, her kindness, and when you're hurt you don't let anyone get close to you. But you can, Noah, you can let people in."
Noah looks up from teary lashes. "Is she going to forgive me?"
"Always," Elliot promises. "How about you go and talk with your mom?" Noah nods.
They get back to the kitchen and sit silently. Noah munches on his pizza without looking up. Olivia throws glances at him, then Elliot, then Charlie, and back again to Noah. They all wait while he finishes his piece.
"I'm sorry, Mom," Noah starts. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it."
Olivia reaches for his hand, takes it, and squeezes.
"And I'm sorry, Charlie. I wasn't nice to you. I should have been kinder. It's okay if you want to stay with us. Maybe I can get an air mattress in my room so I don't have to sleep with Mom," he adds, looking at his mother. Elliot smiles from the other side of the table.
Charlie nods her head and smiles brightly. "I'd be like a sleepover!" And the table laughs. "Will you teach me your dance then?" she presses.
"We'll see if you can keep up…" Noah answers with a shrug and a smile.
"Awesome!" she whispers to herself.
Olivia smiles at Noah, then Elliot. The girl sitting in front of her smiles back. Maybe they will be okay.
~oOo~
It's a week before Christmas and nothing moves. Nothing changes. It is both a blessing and a curse for Olivia. A blessing because Charlie has been a dream and having her home is unlike anything. It reminds her of bringing Noah home after Judge Linden granted her custody. But then, she remembers Calvin and her heart breaks at the thought of having to let her go too. It was always temporary, Elliot had told her back then, and it's the same with Charlie. It's tempting to imagine a life with two kids, and Elliot by her side. But this situation is temporary. This situation is a safe haven for a lost little girl who has no family, no home and very little hope right now. She lost her mother and her home, and once CPS manages to find a placement for her, she'll be gone. Another child thrown into the system because their parents made questionable choices and left them to deal with the consequences.
She gets Charlie and Noah from school and then she drives back to the courthouse. She has to figure something out and quickly, so she goes to the only counsel who knows her, her story, and who helped her before. When the little trio gets there, she finds the room he is supposed to be in fast and she doesn't wait long after she texts him.
"Trevor?" Noah asks when he sees him coming out of the room.
"Hey, Noah," Langan greets him, then he turns his attention to the woman who demanded to see him. "Hey, Liv, I don't have much time, what is going on?"
Olivia turns to the two kids and tells them to sit and wait for her on a bench. Then, she explains to the man who used to represent her son, Charlie's story.
While they wait, they watch people pass them by. Noah sees a family walking away from the family court. They look happy, he thinks to himself. They look like a nice family.
"I never had a dad. It's just me and Mommy," Charlie says as the family walks away. She envies them. She envies this picture-perfect family, it was just her and her mother. Never a father around, he'd been dead before she was born, and she'd never heard of any relative. Never seen a Christmas card around, or a birthday gift from anyone other than her mother.
"I never had a dad either," Noah says looking ahead.
"How come?" Charlies asks. Noah shrugs. He looks at his mother whose conversation seems to get passionate.
"It was always just me and Mom. Team Benson," he answers. "It's a great team to be on," he repeats the words his mother told him years ago.
"What about Elliot? Is he not on your team?"
"He has his own family."
"He said you are family," Charlie counters quickly.
Noah sighs. "He left once. Before I was born. Mom was really sad because of that. I think she's better now that he's back, but he could leave again. He's not Mom's husband or anything. He could leave us."
Charlie rests her head on Noah's shoulder and closes her eyes. He doesn't move. Then, he takes her hand in his, she smiles but doesn't say anything.
"I wish I was team Benson too," she whispers. Noah moves his head slightly to look at her and hums his approval.
From the other side of the room, Olivia turns her head to look at the two kids waiting on the bench. Her heart soars at the sight. She turns back to Langan with pleading eyes. He sighs.
"I'll do my best, Liv. You know I can't promise anything, but I will do whatever I can to find her a home."
"Thank you. I can't let her fall through the cracks. I can't, Trevor."
He nods, then looks back to the girl and says quietly, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think she's yours."
Olivia chuckles nervously. "Yeah… But I… I can't. It's temporary." Her words sound wrong on her lips.
"Do you want to?" he asks seriously, focused on her.
"Trevor, I have Noah, and my job, and I can't. You know I can't. That would be too much. I'm barely home as it is."
"That's not what I asked. And you know as well as I do that you wouldn't be the first single mother of two."
Her eyes shoot up to his in total disbelief. She waits for him, as though he is joking and about to take back his last words. She can't speak, can't answer. The lump in her throat tightens.
"Olivia, do you want Charlie to stay with you and Noah? Permanently?" Trevor asks firmly.
She watches them from afar. Hand in hand, her head on his shoulder, their legs swinging in the same rhythm. Her vision gets blurry as tears gather in her eyes. She brushes them away and exhales. "Yes. Yes, I want her home with us."
"Okay. Let me work it out for you. I'll call you as soon as I have anything," he adds before squeezing her hand and leaving her to walk back to his office and his phone book.
~oOo~
On Christmas Eve, Olivia juggles gifts and two over-eager children through her last-minute shopping. The trio has grown close over the last few days. They went and got a tree, decorated it with ornaments old and new. Elliot's 'Liv Love Laugh' hanging high on the branches. Olivia and Charlie had clapped as loud as they could for Noah at his recital, while the rest of the Stabler clan had cheered louder than ever. They had baked cookies over the weekend after Charlie's mother's small funeral. And Trevor had kept them updated on the search for her family.
After a rough start, Charlie had finally agreed to talk more about her mother's boyfriend. It turned out he was violent and would yell at her when she was in his way. His name was Joe and he had been the one giving her mother the pills that had killed her in the end.
The girl warmed up to Velasco and even apologized to him after a few days. He smiled, extended his hand, and asked to be friends. She shook his hand, a serious look in her eyes.
Elliot had become a permanent fixture in the apartment and every night when Charlie and Noah went to bed, he nudged Olivia's arm, hoping to bring them all to his place where he had more room for them all.
She opens the door to her place, Noah and Charlie dropping the gifts they held on the couch. She winces at the sounds they make. Lizzie's new kettle sounds alright for now. She takes one look at the floor littered with shoes and gifts and coats and books and dance shoes. Olivia exhales loudly as she leans against the front door.
Because she's fostering Charlie and she doesn't want to jeopardize it, she offered to host the Stablers for the night, but now, as she looks at her apartment, she has to admit defeat. She takes her phone out of her pocket and dials the number. He picks up on the first ring.
"Stabler."
"Hey, it's me." She exhales.
"You ready for tonight, Benson?" he asks casually, but she hears the grin in his voice. He knows.
"Change of plans. I can't host all of you. The place is a mess, I haven't started dinner yet, half the gifts are yet to be wrapped—"
"Breathe, Liv. I got you." He stops her. "Maureen and Mama have been in the kitchen all day, and Eli and I just finished setting the table."
She chuckles. "You knew I would fuck it up."
"Nah, I knew you'd try to do everything on your own. But most importantly, I knew you'd call for help, and if I've been listening to my shrink, that's growth." He laughs.
"Oh, shut up!" She pushes herself from the door, no wound in her bite. "When are you expecting us then, Mister I-got-everything-planned?"
"Whenever you guys are done wrapping, I guess. Bring overnight bags too."
"Elliot, we can't stay the night. If—"
"Yeah, you can. Get wrapping, Benson. Get the kids to tidy up and then get your butts over to Queens." She laughs, agrees, and hangs up the phone.
Olivia repeats the plan to Noah and Charlie who high-five like they too knew they would end up at the Stablers for Christmas. "Traitors," she whispers as they disappear to their shared room to pack their bags.
Once the place is spotless, the gifts all packed in the car and the bags secured, they cross Queensboro bridge and snowflakes start to fall on her windshield. Noah doesn't knock before coming in, she wants to scold him but Elliot catches her lips before she can. Charlie giggles as she passes them with her bag and some of the gifts. Noah is already bumping fists with Richard and getting squished by Bernie in the living room.
Elliot keeps her in the entryway, hands on her hips. He sheds her coat, hangs it with the rest of the family, and sets the bags down.
"Merry Christmas, Liv," he says against her lips before stealing another kiss.
"Thank you for saving Christmas, El." She closes her eyes and nuzzles against his neck.
"No need to thank me. All that matters is that we are all together." He takes a breath in her hair and whispers something she doesn't understand. She steps back, looks him in the eyes. The blue shines brighter in the light, excitement coursing through him.
"What did you say?" she asks, her hand on his chest.
"I got the papers yesterday. You can stay here. You, Noah, Charlie. You can all stay here. CPS gave me the all-clear," he repeats. His smile grows. His heart beats against his chest. Olivia is struck for words. "What do you say, Benson?"
"Why would you do that?" she asks dumbfounded. They haven't talked about it, not really, not since he offered his place for the three of them. They haven't talked about their future and what would happen if Charlie's family were never found. Olivia mentioned briefly her talk with Langan, but she never asked him to be involved. Like so often, she took it upon herself to look after the girl and didn't ask for help. But now, Elliot is offering a home, a family, everything she'd wanted for Noah and Charlie.
"Because if things go the way I think they will go… Strike that. If things go the way I hope they go, you'll need a bigger place. And I really want to be part of your life for that, for all of it really. I'm all in, Liv." She chuckles wetly as she kisses him.
"Yes, Elliot. Okay." She nods against him. "I'm all in. I'm all in… I love you, Elliot Stabler."
Elliot smiles, tears in his eyes now. "I love you too."
Olivia jumps at the sound of something breaking in the kitchen, Maureen yells an order at her children, Bernie laughs. On the counter, a bottle of red wine disappears in Lizzie's hands as Kathleen grabs glasses and flees to the couch. The boys are already trying to figure out what is under the tree and Olivia turns back to Elliot. This feels like home.
This. Olivia thinks. This is Home.
The author of this SVU - Heart for the Holidays story will be revealed in January