Christmas would never be the same again, they had made peace with it.
Or at least they were trying.
Last Christmas was a blur.
There were trees and decorations in every room, every hall was decked, except for the Residence.
The Grants are the tenants and caretakers of the house that belongs to the Nation,
But they couldn't ask the entire Nation to mourn with them, they couldn't ask everyone to stop their lives just because theirs had stopped.
It was the first time in years that they were in the same place emotionally.
Losing a child is a numbing pain, once you let that sink in, no one understands what you are going through except the other.
So, they simply barely existed through last Christmas.
Teddy too young to understand,
Karen had gone back to school right after the Holidays to escape from the place that had taken everything away from her … her family, her brother,
Fitz had tried to put an end to his life somewhere in mid – January.
And Mellie had decided not to care anymore.
About anything.
Suddenly not even their pathetic little war made sense,
She had been through Hell with nothing more than some light burns,
Jerry's death didn't burn.
Her son's death burst her into million pieces.
As if the pain of losing him wasn't enough, she felt guilty.
Because she kept him away,
She hadn't been a bad mother, and their kids knew that.
It was still her hands they looked for in public, it was her eyes to calm them down among hundreds.
She had been distant, too worried to love him.
When someone pointed out how much he looked like his father's side of the family she always felt like panicking.
Her son might have had his grandfather's eyes, but out of her three kids Jerry had been the only one to inherit her deep blue color.
Karen a carbon copy of her father, in everything. Even in the way she fought her mother's authority.
Teddy was Mellie's son, through and through; he stole her entire face. He had his father's chin but his face was Mellie's. They would often joke that it was almost like she had made him by herself, which to think about wasn't far from the truth.
And thank God he had been born; she had never been happier to have him than in the aftermath of Jerry's death.
Every time he snuggled into her side; she felt her soul healing. She knew she couldn't make it up to Jerry, but to know there was a chance for her to Love someone the way it was meant to be felt wholesome.
She wanted to be the best mother to him.
He didn't ask for any of this, he had started his life as the product of a political move.
But the universe knew what it was doing, it had bigger plans for Teddy.
He had been born to save and heal.
And this Christmas, it was Teddy who mattered the most.
It was little later than dinner time on December 24th, the first Christmas after the separation.
The kids had spent Thanksgiving with their dad, and they were going to spend Christmas with their mother.
All the details worked out, the Grants loved details, they were used to have their lives mapped out in front of them in an intricated weft of events on which they little to no control over.
Just used to show up.
But little Teddy didn't care,
If there's something his parents did good for him, was to shelter him from the public life after he was born.
A normal childhood, or at least they tried.
Because Mellie and Fitz might have had their flaws but talking about their children they usually teamed up on doing the right thing.
Past his bedtime he was watching a movie on his mother's lap and his sister on the other side. He knew something was missing, he knew someone was missing.
So, he said: "Mommy, where's Daddy?"
Mellie froze, she didn't want to answer that. She was pretty sure he was about to fall asleep, and he would let it slip. She pretended not to hear him.
Teddy got off of her lap, grabbed her phone and asked: "Mommy, call Daddy. I want Daddy".
She looked at him, how do you tell your son you can't call his father because he is spending Christmas with his new family. Olivia might have had her people over, they might be enjoying their evening laughing and dancing, like it hadn't been in ages. Like it was meant to be.
-" Baby, Daddy is busy. You can talk to him tomorrow."
Teddy was not having it: "NO, DADDY NOW!"
And he threw the phone on the floor.
"THEODORE WALLACE GRANT, pick the phone up and apologize"
"NO".
"Teddy, look at Mama" – she got to his level looking at him in the eyes – "Daddy can't come right now, you will be seeing him in the morning, ok?!"
Karen was not having it and she took her phone out; she looked at her Mom and said: " I thought you wanted at least Him to be happy, I'm gonna call dad. He can take time off his honeymoon to come and say Merry Christmas to his children".
"Karen, please don't. KAREN."
But it was too late, the phone was already ringing.
"Dad?! Hi"
Fitz jumped out of his numbness, worried.
"Karen, what happened? Where's your Mom? How are you?
"Dad, it's ok.I'm fine.
Mom didn't want me to call to tell you your son wants you. I guess that what happens now, we are second class citizens now. I just thought you should know. Merry Christmas".
And she hung up.
Mellie was petrified, she didn't want Fitz to think she had initiated the phone call, and she didn't have the will to fight him.
Her phone rang, the display lit up; Fitz.
She got her phone, she just couldn't bring herself to pick up.
And so she ignored it.
She grabbed Teddy and said to her daughter "I'm putting him to sleep. Don't think this conversation is over."
And left the room.
Teddy was a handful little boy, a four years old ball of energy.
A cranky and sleepy ball of energy who kept crying and screaming, calling out for his dad.
It made her feel like a failure, how can she be a good mother when her youngest son can't even be calmed down by her presence?!
It took Fitz 13 minutes to get through the tunnels and get to Blair House.
He burst into Teddy's nursery without even knocking.
"DADDY!"
The little boy was ecstatic, his Christmas wish had been granted.
"Fitz! What are you doing here?" – Mellie was about to be furious.
"Mels, where are talking about this later."
And he got to Teddy, drying his tears and holding him with such strength.
Mellie knew this face; Mellie knew his face.
And she had been where Fitz was.
He was holding Teddy like his life depended on it.
She used to hold him like that, when they first moved into Blair House.
At night, alone in bed, after 25 years of sharing her space, she used to hold her son to not let pieces of herself flying over the room.
Fitz was lonely.
And the thought of Fitz hurting was still hurting Mellie.
She got up to him, put a hand on his back and whispered
"Are you alright?"
He looked deep into her eyes, he stopped.
At their worst she had always been the only one he could talk.
Mellie was the one to suck it up and listen when he would talk about the love of his life, and that love not being her.
But he felt he had lost the privilege to do that.
In that moment he had lost his woman, his wife and his best friend.
For the first time he felt the weight of really being alone.
Alone like he hadn't been in a long time.
Whether he liked it or not, she had always been is family.
And in an unexpected turn of events, he realized she had made every house they ever lived in, in a Home.
"Look, I'm sorry they called you" – she started to talk, fast and hurried-
"I don't want you and Olivia to think this was me, I didn't even ask what you plans were, I just-"
"She left".
He murmured, saying it for the first time since Liv packed her bags and left the Residence.
Mellie mouth dropped; she didn't know what to say.
And she thought it would her made her feel happy to know he was free again, but no.
His pain was hurting her.
Last Christmas might have been a blur, but in this room, at this very moment they both looked into each other's eyes and saw the same thing and thought that at least,
last Christmas they might have been broken and shaken to their core.
But they were together, they were broken together.
They were a Family.