Song: Leroy the redneck reindeer.

By: Joe Diffie

Start song at (1)

"Well said cousin!" The white-tailed deer complimented Rudolph in a southern accent. He walked over with the Gypsy Vanner horse beside him, then to the rest of the Guardians-minus Jack's- amazement he raised onto his hind legs much like Thistlhair had earlier. His right front leg wrapped around the shoulders of the horse and smiled with all his teeth. "Amerigo and I just love your noise, don't we My dear?"

"Leroy, does this mean you finally got the courage to start courting her?" Jack asked, ecstatic.

The white horse Amerigo nickered and bobbed her head in a 'yes'.

The white-tailed deer Leroy looked put off. "You make it sound like I have been dragging my feet. I will have you know that my process of asking Amerigo out was a well-thought-out plan."

"Oh very well thought out. So well thought out that it took you 28 years to do it." Jack said then broke out laughing.

Amerigo joined in as she batted her eyes at the blushing Leroy.

"Ha ha, he is right Leroy, ever since 1995 vhen you showed up at the Pole and first laid eyes on Amerigo at the Netherlands meeting place,..." Here North gave Bunny a look to tell him that there were no Prep and Landing elves in the Netherlands either without actually saying it so he didn't get in trouble. "You have been admiring her from afar. Zs good to know you have finally got together."

Amerigo neighed and North held up his hands. "Fair, it is only the beginning of your relationship, I will not rush zings. But Leroy, don't keep her vaiting for long, she is a very strong-villed and opinionated horse."

Amerigo snorted and turned her head away at North's words.

"North my friend, with all due respect if you insult my lady again you are going to get a lesson in Redneck 'manners'! Are we clear?!"

"Da!" North agreed and grinned.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have to ask. What is your story, Mr. Leroy?" One of the kid tree spirits asked.

Leroy got a really big full toothed grin then. (1) "You've all heard the story about Rudolph and his nose?"

The kids nodded.

"But I'll tell you a Christmas tale that's rarely been told. You may think you've heard it all but you ain't heard nothing yet, about that crazy Christmas that the North Pole can't forget!"

North nodded his head in agreement to that statement and everyone focused on Leroy as he told his story.

"My cousin was under the weather, he had to call in sick for the Christmas Eve ride. So he got on the horn to call me at my home in the sticks. He told me that Santa was really counting on him and he hated to pass the buck, but I stopped him and told him I was on my way and I jumped in my pickup truck at that very moment."

You drive a truck, as in an actual flatbed?" Kovu asked in shock.

"You bet! The other reindeer couldn't believe it either. They'd never seen a deer in overalls and a John Deere tractor hat." Leroy struck a pose, or more accurately he slumped like a Saturday newspaper comic strip representation of a crossroads trucker. "But North stepped in and said: 'Calm down, ve all got a job to do. And like it or not Leroy's in charge and he's gonna be leading you." That got a laugh as Leroy tried to copy North's accent but failed because his own clashed so badly.

"Before that night was over, they had changed their tune. I had them scooting a hoof on every single roof by the light of the moon. North wrapped his bag with a dixie flag, he was having the time of his life, and you could hear him call "Merry Christmas y'all, and to all of y'all a good night."

North took up the sting of the story at that point. "Yes, it vas Leroy the red-necked deer hooked to the front of ze slay. Delivering toys to all ze good old boys and girls along the vay. Just a down-home party animal, two-stepping across the sky. He mixed ze Jingle bells vith a rebel yell and made history zat night!"

Amerigo saddled up to Leroy and nosed his ear. Leroy just flat-out collapsed at her sign of affection.

Like with the Yule Goat, I couldn't find a song about Amerigo the Netherlands Christmas helper for Santa Claus. The horse is described as a tall majestic pure white animal. I think that the Gypsy Vanner is one of the most majestic-looking horse breeds with their long mains of fur that flow over their feet like fuzzy boots, so I picked it for my representation of Amerigo. The idea of Leryo being love-struck by her was a funny twist I wanted to throw in.

Sorry for the delay, Happy New Year everyone!