TRIGGER WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, MEDICAL PROCEDURES, DRUG USE. Protect yourself and your health. Don't read this story if it will be harmful for you.
National Sexual Assault Hotline (USA): 8006564673
Chapter 5 – Disagreements
"Sam wants to meet tonight." Emmett's voice is annoyed. Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had begrudgingly returned home after an attempt at tracking an unknown scent that led them straight to La Push. It wasn't the scent of Bella's attacker, but it was a scent lurking around her house that shouldn't have been there.
The house had been mostly silent until Emmett's arrival – Carlisle in his study forging documents to replace Bella's at the hospital, Esme sitting in the den looking out the window waiting for her children to return home, and Alice huddled in a corner trying to foresee the future, the present, and the past simultaneously as if her gifts would miraculously expand in all directions. The only exception to the silence was Bella. Four hours she had twisted relentlessly in her sleep, whimpering and straining from pain.
Her discomfort bothered Carlisle immensely. His thoughts were utterly tormented, conflicted over whether her previous consent to his medicinal involvement would extend still. She had slept the entire way home and most of the night due to his pain cocktail – her body absolutely exhausted from trauma and stress – and he wanted her sleep to continue undisturbed for a few hours more. As his original injection wore off and her discomfort increased, Carlisle finally relented. He came into the room and silently set up an IV, immediately pushing medicine into her veins to ease her pain and give her the rest she needed.
"She may be angry with me." Carlisle had sighed as he attached tubing to a bag of saline and antibiotics. "If she learns of this, it may break her trust in me."
I didn't have a response for him then, and I didn't hours later when the saline bag had finished, and he returned to remove the IV from her hand.
Part of me was desperate for her to wake up. I needed her to see that she was safe. She was home with me now. There was nothing here that would hurt her, and I certainly wasn't going to leave. The other part of me was desperate for her to stay asleep and allow her body and mind to rest for as long as possible. She was less than forty-eight hours out of major trauma and surgery. Technically, if she was in the hospital, she would be in the ICU still. She wouldn't be allowed to make any of her own medical decisions – including refusing antibiotics and pain medicine.
Jasper's thoughts pull me from my own. He was overtly frustrated over the inconvenience of a meeting with the wolves.
"When? Why?" demands Esme. Esme had jumped up when they entered the house, feeling both dread and guilt at her thrill. She was hopeful that they had found something and was prepared to help rid the world of the monster. But her dread for the violence was slightly debilitating.
I heard these same sentiments echoed in Rosalie's thoughts earlier that morning – excitement at the prospect of hunting and destroying another rapist, and remorse at the thought of another girl having to relearn how to live. In the end, much to Rosalie's dismay, it wasn't the scent of Bella's attacker. The hunt only led my siblings to the boarder of the Reservation where the pack was waiting, prepared for a fight.
Now, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett had returned home.
"There's no point." Jasper says.
Emmett groans. I can hear him pulling himself away from the door dejectedly. He's ready for a fight. In his mind, and Jasper's, we were already at war with the wolves. They were both fully prepared to fight the wolves to the death.
After all, that's what they had intended to do with us tonight until Jasper negotiated a temporary peace agreement. His intention was not peace – it was fairness. If the Mutts had their leader to lay the charges, we may as well have ours to refute them. And when it came down to a fight, we deserved to have equal footing in the war. We had the right to gather our troops for battle the same way they did.
Carlisle's thoughts are distressed. I don't want blood shed, not now. Too many lost lives. . . too much pain. "There's always hope, Jasper."
"They believe Edward did this, Carlisle." Rosalie hisses. Her thoughts dart in my direction, filled with grief and pity. Emotions I had never seen in her thoughts before when they fell on me. I ignored her – I didn't want pity right now.
"They're not looking for peace." Jasper agrees.
This is worse than I thought. Carlisle was thinking.
I can't see anything. "Carlisle, we have to get away from this." Alice's voice portrayed her uncertainty and frustration. Even Jasper's effort did not dissuade her anxiety. "If they get involved, I won't be able to see anything."
"If we leave, they'll suspect Edward even more." Rosalie says. I'm stunned into silence, shocked by Rosalie standing at my defense when so many others might've in her place.
"If we stay, I'll be blind."
"You already are." Rosalie snaps bitterly. Didn't see Bella's attack, can't tell us anything about who attacked her or why, can't see anything about these scents we keep finding around Forks. . . utterly useless.
Alice lets out an exclamation of distress but does not respond to Rosalie's retort. Jasper's mind screams at Rosalie. Emmett's thoughts – also preparing to put a block between Rosalie and Jasper – make me more relaxed. Emmett will deal with it.
I tighten my arms around Bella, holding her closer to me. I can't seem to pull my eyes off the bruises that line her neck, black and purple around her throat. I trace them with my finger, seeing the way the clearest parts of the bruises line up with my hand. The monster in me places my hand against her skin the way he did. I'm not entirely sure why I do. Perhaps to convince myself that I would never touch a woman with such violence, or maybe to learn something more about her attacker. It is a ridiculous notion that I might gain insight into his mind by lining up my hands with the bruises he left. The imprint is slightly off – my fingers just a bit bigger than the black spots on Bella's skin. I pull my hand away before Bella might panic at the sensation. Instead, I wrap my fingers around her stomach, hoping my cold skin might ease the pain and swelling of her surgical wound.
"We can't leave." Esme says, interrupting the silent war between Rosalie and Jasper. "Bella's father is here."
"He's not in danger." Alice protests. "I need to be able to see. As much as I can."
"When have we fled because the mutts told us to?" Emmett demands. "There's a treaty for a reason. If they want us gone, let them be the ones to break it."
"They think we did break it, moron." Alice hisses. "They think Edward did this!"
"We can't leave." Esme says again, adamantly. "We can't take Bella away from here now." Just think how that would disrupt her healing. . .
"Now is the time to leave, even if it means they suspect Edward. Do you really think Bella wants to be here now?" Rosalie says, her voice furious. "There's no reason to stay."
"Rosalie, we're operating in the human world right now." Carlisle says quietly. "Bella and her father are intertwined in this, and our decisions have to take them into consideration. Charlie was open-minded enough to allow me to take her from the hospital, but we can't leave the state."
"If we leave, there is no chance of us finding who did this." Emmett adds. His empathy for Bella – his sister – was strong. "Even worse, we leave the monster alive to harm another girl."
No one speaks for a moment. The reality sinks in my mind now, and I could hear it in the minds of my siblings and parents.
We needed to stay in Forks. For Charlie, for Bella, to hunt the monster. Consequences with the wolves be damned.
"What did you find?" Carlisle asks.
"Nothing. The blood sample was inconclusive." Jasper sighs.
"What does that mean?" Esme asks. "Was it not enough?"
"No." Jasper responds. "They couldn't analyze it. . . It confused me until I got to Bella's house. The scent is . . . almost human. When less potent, you might never guess it's anything but."
"It definitely isn't the stench of a mutt." Emmett scoffs. "Leave it to Bells to attract some other thing to Forks."
"The scent is everywhere." Rosalie mutters, her voice disgusted. "He touched everything in that damn house."
"He must have been there all morning with her." Jasper words make my hold on Bella tighter than I intend.
How long had he been watching her? How long had she been unaware that she was being hunted?
Jasper continues detailing the expedition. "We traced the scent a few miles before it disappeared. We lost it up North."
"I've been watching Bella's future." Alice mumbles. "I should've seen . . . If he had been watching her, in her home . . . It shouldn't have slipped past me." She falls quiet.
I sigh quietly, filled with my own guilt as I stand. I needed to be downstairs, but I had promised she wouldn't be alone. Esme, sensing my need, floats up to the room.
"I'll watch over her, Edward." She says. I'd like to avoid the discussion downstairs. It's inevitable . . . but I don't want to be a part of it.
I brush some of Bella's hair from her face, nestling it gently against the bruises on her neck. She was soundly asleep. She wouldn't wake anytime soon, even if the morphine would start wearing off. I needed to go downstairs.
"I'll be here." Esme touches my arm, reassuring me. She'll be safe.
I only nod in acknowledge of her words, turning and leave as quietly and quickly as Esme had entered.
Everyone's eyes flash to me as I step downstairs.
Jasper steps forward. "Edward, what happened before you left?"
"Nothing." Alice slips over to me in quiet comfort. "I said goodbye to Bella, and I left. There was nothing abnormal about it."
The only thoughts surrounding us had been a few of Bella's neighbors, most of which were busy with their weekend chores and plans. No one cared that Charlie was not home or that Bella was.
"The easy way to figure this out is to just ask her." Jasper says, his voice frustrated. She knows what happened. We can't do anything without the information she can give us.
Rosalie and I hiss at the same time.
"You have no right to ask her." Rosalie snarls. She takes a step forward, sinking into a slight crouch. Emmett's hand comes down on her shoulder quickly.
"Babe, no." He murmurs. "We don't need to get violent."
"This is a matter of her protection, Rosalie." Jasper snaps back.
"And this is a matter of her current state. She's not well." I respond, my voice just as angry. "You don't know how she'll react."
"I get it." Jasper exhales deeply as he speaks. "She's vulnerable. She's scared. Judging by her incapability to control her emotions in the hospital, she'll probably panic if she thinks about it too much. But –"
"Well, I refuse to ask her." Rosalie growls. "And I won't let anyone else do it either. She has the right to keep this to herself. It's bad enough we all know she was assaulted."
Jasper continues as if Rosalie hadn't interrupted him. "We don't know who did this. But whoever it was got past all of us – Alice included. It can't happen again."
"Work with what you have." Rosalie snarls. "He stalked her, he prepared for this with drugs, he did this for a reason. He can't evade us for long, and he's a dead man when we find him."
"I'm with you, babe." Emmett says quietly. "But we don't know any of that for sure. Do we really know that he stalked her? That this was planned beforehand?"
"No one casually carries around drugs to knock people out." Rosalie's voice is rising, her expression twisted with fury. "He touched every single fucking thing in that house. He either is doing a study on humans and how they live, or he wanted us to smell him."
"We're making assumptions." Jasper sighs, shaking his head. He could have been curious. Humans are interesting in the way they chose to live. . .
Rosalie hisses at him, her expression furious. "If any of you dare try to ask her, you'll have to go through me."
"Enough of this. We need to minimize Bella's stress as much as we can while she recovers. If she volunteers the information, that's of her own accord. Otherwise, we will not press it." Carlisle stands up, looking outside where the sun was setting. "I'm sure the pack is waiting." We don't need to give them more of a reason to be anxious.
Alice stands beside me – close enough that our arms can brush. It was her silent and secretive reminder of the bond we shared and every intentional touch on her part made me feel slightly better despite the horrid events of the last two days. She keeps her thoughts focused on the pack – not trying to communicate with me at all, for which I was thankful.
The boarder marking the Quileute reservation is silent and still. The trees hang low and solemn, as if the leaves and roots know what is happening.
Six wolves stand before us. Tall – their heads high and their stance wide. Sam was in the center, his eyes glowing. To his right, Paul and Embry were waiting for their command. To his left, Seth, Leah, and Jared. Jacob Black was not here tonight.
He was a coward.
Jasper is sizing up the wolves – determining how to strategically take them down when the inevitable happens. Sam would need to be first. Destroy the leader to destroy the army. Then, Paul – his unmatched fury made him a bigger threat than the others. Seth and Leah were the youngest wolves and deemed less of a threat. Except Jasper underestimated Leah's compassion for Sam and her rage that would arise at his death.
I glance at Carlisle on my right. He looks to me, and then turns to face Sam and the rest of the wolves. He takes a step forward, making Jasper take a step forward as well.
"Thank you for meeting us." Carlisle says after a moment, as if we had been the one to call this meeting.
Leah growls, her teeth bared, her mind wild with disgust.
I can see Emmett in the corner of my eye, his arms tense. He was only here to level the playing field. Emmett, Jasper, and I were most equipped to take on the wolves. Carlisle was blind with compassion, and Alice was blind in another, much more unusual, way. Rosalie had opted out of the meeting in favor of staying to protect and watch over Bella with Esme.
This is not a meeting for pleasure. Sam's voice was displeased. Jacob informed us of an attack on Bella.
I look toward Carlisle, repeating the words tersely.
The lies of her attack. It was one of them, filthy, murderous bloodsuckers.
Jacob's a wuss. Can't believe he took her straight back to their arms again.
They probably killed her by now. Sam, we have to act.
We know it was you, you monster.
This breaks the treaty. What are we waiting for? Let's do this!
Be quiet! Sam's voice finally overpowers the others', and each of them fall silent at his order. The power of the alpha command, apparently, silenced them. I'd heard Jacob talking to Bella about it once. Sam, more or less, could control the others while in wolf form. Jasper was right – Sam would have to die first in a fight. Who, then, would assume his power? What were the rules of a hierarchy within a pack of wolves? Paul, the mutt immediately to Sam's right, logically made the most sense. He was the second tallest, the second loudest in voice. Where did Jacob stand in this ranking? Jacob was the descendent of Ephraim Black, a former alpha. Surely that would impact the current standings. . .
You have the right to explain yourself, vampire. I'm losing patience with your kind.
I was impressed Sam had yet to lunge – perhaps, far beneath the thoughts I could read, he truly believed I was not responsible for this.
"They're not convinced it wasn't me." I spit between clenched teeth. Carlisle frowns.
This is going to be difficult. Carlisle looks toward me, and then back to Sam. I don't know what Jacob told them. . .
Jacob was not here in the clearing for me to scour through his thoughts. Why was he hiding? What was he hiding?
"My son is not responsible for this." Carlisle says, his voice hard.
Show us proof.
"Jacob has been to her room. You know as well as the rest of us there was another scent there." I snap. Alice touches my arm, reminding me to be civil. Not even seconds later, I feel Jasper's calming influence fall onto the entire clearing.
Sometimes I hated Jasper. Sometimes I wanted to feel angry. Right now, I was more than grateful he was pacifying me. I breathe deeply, trying to remind myself that the mutts were not my enemy tonight. My wrath was awaiting someone else entirely.
"Edward was not here when the attack occurred." Carlisle says, his voice full of conviction. "You must see reason, Sam. If we were as cruel as some believe, I would not have worked to help Bella live once her life was in my hands. She would not be at my home recovering under our care."
She's not in the hospital anymore? Sam's voice rung with horror. What goes on in your house, away from prying eyes, is uncertain.
I relay the words, my voice muted, and my body numb. The clearing is quiet for a long moment.
"Bella is family." Alice finally says, her voice strong despite her strangled state of mind. "We only want what's good for her and to protect her. She is safe with us right now. If you need to check on her to ensure her well-being, you're more than welcome." Her voice held a false sense of calm, and I knew that she was just as close to snapping as I was.
"Just know, mutt, that our patience wears thin, too." Jasper's voice is taunt, and even Carlisle does not admonish him for the words. Instead, Carlisle looks to me to add something, but I stay silent. I did not care what the wolves thought. Bella would be alive and safe as long as I was with her – wolves be damned.
Carlisle was trying to placate them. Alice needed them out of the picture and out of her visions. Jasper was trying to defend the family. Emmett wanted a fight – the same way the wolves did.
Sam's thoughts are a frenzy for several long moments. They overpower the mental voices of his counterparts. He's shifting through the facts – cognizant of the scent Jacob had shared through his memories. He knew that it was not a vampire. He knew it was not me.
If you say this is not you, then who did this? Sam's voice was hesitant. He did not want to admit he believed us.
"We don't know." I respond flatly. "None of us recognize the scent."
What do you know? Paul demands coldly. Sam, despite wanting to berate him for interjecting when not asked, steps aside to allow Paul to speak.
I can feel my fists clenching. Nothing. We knew nothing.
"They want to know what we know about her attacker." I tell my family. Jasper's face goes hard immediately, his eyes narrowing.
Why? Jasper questions.
"Jasper?" Carlisle looks to his newest son. Jasper grimaces, weighing the options. Telling them would not be detrimental, but it went against his instincts to share vital information with others who were not allied with him.
"We have the scent." Jasper says, his voice slightly cold. He and Emmett had gone to Bella's room and tracked the scent for as long as they could. They were not successful in their endeavor. "That's all."
If it was possible for the mutts to scoff, then they would have.
Bella has made her choice, and we will honor it. Sam states.
My teeth snap together tightly at his thoughts. Bella had made her choice, and so had Jacob Black.
"I'd expect nothing else." I hiss in response. Carlisle looks at me, his eyes questioning.
Sam continues as if I had not spoken. The treaty still stands. You may not come onto our land or near our kind.
"I'm sure you can understand why we might not extend certain courtesies when trying to catch this monster." I hiss at him. Alice puts her palm against mine, again reminding me to stay calm. We're here to placate them. To keep them out of things.
We guard our lands, vampire, not you. Crossing the border will be a violation of the treaty. Sam repeats.
"Noted." I hiss.
We may have offered protection to some in your absence, but it is not our responsibility any longer. We take care of our own, and it appears Bella has decided who to ally with.
With Sam's final words, the wolves slowly retreat back into the trees and disappear together.
"Well?" Carlisle asks me after a moment, his eyebrow raised curiously.
"They want us to stay off their property." I hiss. "The treaty still stands."
Emmett breathes a sigh of relief. Good for them, fucking idiots. Finally got their brains back into their thick skulls. Of course we didn't do this to Bella.
"So, they'll stay out of it?" Alice breathes, relieved.
"As long as we stay off their land, they don't care what happens." I snap, enraged. "They only take care of their own."
Hypocrites. Protectors only when it's convenient for them.
Carlisle nods, grimacing. He was not happy with this meeting. "There's no shortage of protection for Bella now. We take care of our own, too."
It's all very anticlimactic as we slowly disperse from the clearing. Everyone is stuck within their own head – thoughts that infiltrate my mind but are too erratic for me to take hold of. I don't realize we're almost back to the house until I hear Bella's sobbing and Esme's panic-ridden thoughts.
I know the moment Carlisle registers it. His head snaps up, and his feet nearly match my pace as we both rush to the house. I burst into my bedroom, half expecting to find the vile monster himself delivered for slaughter. Instead, the potent smell of blood fills my sinuses. The smell is entirely wrong – it doesn't elicit the same allure as it usually does. The part of me that yearns for her is not frantic as it usually is.
"Stay away! There's too much blood." Carlisle's voice is directed toward my siblings who we've left behind. Esme's hand is pressed over her mouth and nose, and she's intentionally not breathing. Her thoughts rapidly relaying the moment Bella woke up.
Bella hysterical as she clawed her way off the bed. The sudden potency of blood as she sunk to the floor, rocking and crying.
When I pull myself from Esme's thoughts, Carlisle is quietly coaxing Bella from the space between my wall and bookshelf. I'm only catching bits of his thoughts – Esme's are loud and anxious.
bleeding. . . Ripped her stitches. . .
"It's alright, Bella. You're safe here." Carlisle voices the words I want to say. I'm not sure how to move. Get me Lorazepam.
The bruises over her neck have darkened since I last saw her. Her shirt is soaked crimson. Esme flees, professing apologies that she couldn't calm Bella down before the damage was already done. That she was rendered useless by the smell that consumed the room and her thoughts.
"Edward," Carlisle voice is sharp as he turns to me. "Edward, do you hear me? She's having a panic attack."
"Here." Alice slips by me to Carlisle. She's carrying Carlisle's bag. Edward, are you alright?
Bella's voice is hoarse as she protests the bite of the injection. Hours of torment have rendered her throat raw. Carlisle speaks to her gently as the medicine calms her mind and body, and as he lays her down flat on the floor, he assesses the damage she's done.
"What happened?" Alice asks, her eyes shifting to me. "Did Esme say?"
"She got scared."
Carlisle rolls up the fabric of her shirt, gently peeling away the gauze and bandages that were soaked through. She complains quietly, but Alice silences her with gentle words. "She'll be alright, Edward."
"Of what?"
The contrast was incredible – the red of the gauze, the black of her bruised skin.
"The bed."
"Alice, leave." Carlisle murmurs. Alice, barely holding herself together, ignores him.
Helplessness turned to fury as I watched my father evaluate the freshly opened wound.
He did this to her. A monster of a man. A demon no different than the ones I hunted and preyed on for years.
She's not done any significant damage. Just some ripped stitches.
"This time." I growl at Carlisle's thoughts, my hands coming down as fists against the oak shelves that line my wall. The wood groans, cracking and splintering, and dozens of CDs and books slip to the floor. Bella's make a quiet noise of distress, her eyes wheeling to find the source of the clamor. I instantly feel bad – I shouldn't have done that with Bella here in this vulnerable and terrified state.
Carlisle watches me. I can see the pity in his eyes as he watches CDs descend to the floor.
I'll take care of her upstairs. Calm yourself before joining us, please. Carlisle motions to Alice to stand.
Carlisle's words don't relax me. If anything, they build the fury even more. Violent rage with the wolves and their abandonment of Bella fills me. Followed swiftly with rage against myself for allowing her to fall into the hands of danger to begin with. Fury with my brothers and sister for not being able to track down the monster today. . . With Carlisle that, despite his best work, Bella still had an incredibly long and absurdly painful recovery ahead of her.
Carlisle's words ring in my head. We take care of our own.
We did take care of our own, and I needed to take of Bella. She is mine to take care of. Mine to avenge. Mine to protect.
"Where are you going?" Alice demands, her wide eyes are glazed, her hands outstretched as if they were about to catch me. Her palms are red with Bella's blood. Blood spilt by a demon. I can see myself in her mind – chasing a scent wildly through the forest. I don't see myself catching him, but I don't need Alice's psychic abilities to know that I will.
"Hunting." Tracking. Destroying a monster.
"Edward," Carlisle starts, his voice warning. "It's best you stay here for now."
"I can't do anything for her right now." I respond, my voice harsh as his mind infiltrates mine with images of Bella's injuries again.
I take in the sight before me – my Bella whimpering quiet expressions of pain as she slips in and out of consciousness on the floor of my bedroom, her body darkened and bleeding, my father leaning over her with blood-stained hands.
I wasn't a doctor. I couldn't heal. I was a vampire. I could kill.
"Not while he's out there . . . Alive."
"Yes, you can." Carlisle insists. There's so much you can do. She needs you home with her. Comfort her now while I work over her.
This is not fair to her. Alice tells me, though she was debating whether to join me in my hunt.
"You said it yourself, Carlisle. We take care of our own. He hurt her, and now he's mine to destroy."