Chapter 3:
Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson, all characters belong to Rick Riordan.
TW: abused!Percy and depictions of dissociation/suicide attempt
A/N: Happy 2024! Trying to have a consistent posting schedule, so I'll be posting chapters every Tuesday. If not Tuesday, at the very least I'll post once a week. Enjoy the chapter! Feel free to leave reviews/constructive criticism on things I can improve in later chapters. Thanks :3
Percy felt bad. He was currently in the back of a taxi on his way back to the apartment– back to Gabe– after ditching Grover at the bus terminal. He hated breaking his promises, but Grover was freaking Percy out. He wouldn't even tell Percy what was wrong, just muttering "It's always sixth grade" under his breath while looking at him with forlorn eyes, as if Percy was a dead man walking.
But there was another reason he had ditched Grover– that reason being Gabe. Percy refused to let Grover meet the man behind the nightmares, the flashbacks– Grover could never know about it.
Although Gabe had promised not to touch Percy, there were loopholes in that pledge– such as throwing things at him or having someone else do the dirty work for him. Not that Gabe would fulfill his commitment, but the last few days before he had left for Yancy had been the worst– days filled with unspeakable horrors as he was strung up by his ankles as Gabe threw knives at him for target practice, as sadists were hired to torture him, to break him.
Percy trembled, suddenly regretting his decision to leave Grover. At least Gabe wouldn't dare hurt him in front of normal people.
He was soon jolted out of his thoughts by an impatient hand waving for the fare. Percy gave the driver a twenty, his hands trembling as he accepted his change. If the driver noticed, he didn't say anything, and Percy slowly stepped out of the vehicle. He looked up at the dingy apartment– he was home. He could only pray that Gabe was in a good mood.
The first thing that hit Percy was the heavy stench of alcohol and cigar smoke as he walked into the apartment– luckily that was the only thing that hit him.
Percy noticed Gabe in the living room, playing poker with his buddies– Eddie and two other nobodies– and he breathed a sigh of relief. While Eddie wouldn't do anything to stop the occasional slap or two, Gabe wouldn't go farther than that with him there– after all, Eddie was the super of the apartment building, and Gabe had to maintain some semblance of civility. Small blessings, though Percy wished his mom had been home instead.
"You got cash," Gabe stated, barely giving Percy a glance. "Fork it over."
Percy didn't know how he knew that– it was like he was a bloodhound for money– but he dug out the wad of dollars from his pocket and threw it on the table.
Eddie looked at him with a twinge of sympathy, but remained silent as Percy fled to his "room".
It was less of a room, more like Gabe's personal trash can given the amount of beer bottles and used cigarettes littered around the room– Gabe claimed it was his "study". Percy would call it his torture chamber– the room held remnants of the abuse he had suffered there, from the streaks of bloodstains in the corner that refused to leave no matter how much scrubbing Percy had done, to the indents in the wall where Gabe had thrown Percy which he hadn't bothered to fix.
Percy shuddered, dropping his suitcase onto the dirty mattress. He began cleaning, picking up the bottles and throwing them into the empty trashcan.
As Percy was tidying up, his mind began to wander, ruminating over the recent events in the past weeks.
Grover's betrayal still hurt– a fresh wound that wouldn't heal anytime soon– and Percy didn't even want to think about Mr. Brunner's involvement with the entire situation. But honestly, Percy had more important things he needed to worry about, like surviving Gabe.
Percy halted mid-step, bottle hovering over the nearly-full bin, as he was suddenly reminded of the end of Grover's conversation with Mr. Brunner– namely, the part about keeping Percy alive until next fall.
Percy felt a spike of anxiety– had they known about Gabe?– and began biting his fingernails worriedly. Or would there be… others like Mrs. Dodds?
Memories of evil glowing eyes with long, horrible talons and the sound of the old lady's shears snipping the yarn were accompanied by a feeling of foreboding. Percy felt a chill roll through his body, his heart pounding nervously. He glanced around the room cautiously, searching for any trace of danger– he didn't feel safe.
His attention was diverted by the sound of his mom's voice. "Percy?" The bedroom door opened, and Percy's fears dissolved as he saw his mother for the first time in six months– kaleidoscope eyes and warm smile, with long brown hair streaked with slivers of silver.
"Oh, Percy." Tears welled in her eyes as she pulled Percy into a tight hug. "You've grown since Christmas!"
Percy inhaled his mother's scent– sweet whispers of chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff that was sold at the candy shop where she worked– and Percy felt himself relax in her arms. "I missed you, mom," Percy mumbled into her uniform.
"What's this?" she laughed, ruffling his hair fondly. "No 'lay off, mom' or 'you're smothering me' today?"
He didn't say anything, just gave her another squeeze.
Her smile faded, and her eyes were searching, trying to pull out secrets. "What? Did something scare you?"
"No, Mom." Percy managed a weak grin. "Nothing at all."
She pursed her lips, but didn't push. Instead, she clapped her hands together as she exclaimed, "I have a surprise for you! We're going to the beach!"
Percy's eyes widened. "Montauk?"
She winked. "Three nights– same cabin. As soon as I get changed."
Abruptly, Gabe appeared in the doorway, an angry scowl on his face. "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"
His mom subtly flinched, and Percy watched as she nodded and made her way into the kitchen. "Sorry, honey. We were just talking about the trip."
Gabe's pudgy eyes narrowed, following closely behind her. "You were serious about that?"
"Yes, honey. It comes out of my clothes budget, and I'll even make enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend." His mom rambled on, as if anxious to please Gabe. "Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."
It worked, and Gabe seemed to soften slightly. "And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back." It wasn't a question, more of a command.
"We'll be very careful," his mom promised.
Gabe scratched his chin, dirty fingers smudged yellow with tar from his cigar. "Hurry with that seven-layer dip then." He turned to Percy with a nasty smirk. "And have the kid apologize for interrupting my poker game."
Percy's hands were itching to give Gabe a good roundhouse punch to the face. His mom didn't deserve this treatment, why did she put up with Gabe? But her eyes were screaming at him not to make him mad. Percy faltered, before muttering "I'm sorry for interrupting your poker game."
Gabe sniffed, "Yeah, whatever."
Percy didn't like the relief that flooded his mom's eyes as Gabe went back to ignoring them, focusing on his poker game. Gabe wouldn't dare– would he? He did not like the picture that he was seeing– a portrait of hidden abuse.
His mother's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about… whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?" He thought he saw anxiety in her eyes– the same as Grover– and Percy froze. Did she know something?
But then her smile returned, and Percy dismissed the unease wringing his stomach into knots– why would his mom lie to him?
"Not a scratch on this car, freak," Gabe hissed to him threateningly as Percy lugged his mom's bags to the car. "Not one little scratch." His eyes were dark, threatening hours of agony as Gabe healed him over and over again, not letting him slip into the comforts of unconsciousness.
Percy shivered, letting out a stuttered "Y-yes."
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, sir."
Gabe nodded, satisfied by his sick sense of power and control before heading back inside to his poker game.
Percy stepped into the car, pale and shaking.
"Percy?" his mom questioned, looking concerned.
Percy shook his head. "Let's go," he whispered.
She hesitated, before nodding. The engine roared to life, and soon they were on their way to Montauk, leaving Gabe far behind.
"So, Percy," his mom said calmly. "Are you ok? Are you doing all right?"
They were on their way to Montauk, soft music playing gently in the background. His mom was focused on the road, and Percy could see the years of worry and work melting from her face as they got closer to the beach– eyes turning a lovely sea blue.
He took a deep breath– he didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to add to her stress– before lowering the volume on the radio. "Why do you stay with Gabe?"
She looked at him, shocked. Then her gaze dropped, as if ashamed. "I'm sorry, honey, but we need Gabe. He keeps us safe."
Percy stared at her in disbelief. Safe? "Mom, he hits us. What is he keeping us safe from?"
"I-I'm so sorry, honey," she repeated, voice cracking and Percy watched in mute astonishment as tears trailed silently down her cheeks. "I can't tell you why, but we need Gabe. Otherwise, it might mean saying good-bye to you for good."
Percy couldn't understand– why was everyone hiding things from him? "What do you mean, mom?"
She shook her head miserably. "I've been selfish," she continued brokenly. "I tried to keep you as close to me as I could, but instead all I've done is hurt you. I-I'm such a horrible mother–"
"Stop," Percy interrupted thickly. It shattered Percy's heart to hear his mom sound so defeated, so utterly crushed. "Don't say that, this isn't your fault, it's Gabe's. You're the best mom I could ever ask for."
Percy felt bad for saying anything at all– why couldn't he just shut his mouth?– so he tried to lighten the mood. "Let's just focus on the trip, we'll worry about Gabe later."
His mom managed a small smile, wiping away the remnants of her tears. "Sure, honey. Why don't you tell me how Yancy was?"
So Percy chatted about his past year at Yancy, refusing to mention anything about the recent events regarding Grover and Mr. Brunner, while his mother listened attentively– both determinedly ignoring the taboo topic that was Gabe.
There was a storm on the beach– twenty-foot waves pounding the sand dunes like artillery, with huge flashes of lightning lighting up the dark stormy sky.
Normally, a storm this size would have Percy running for cover, huddled deep beneath his sheets as he tried to hide away from Gabe, but Percy found that he couldn't move from his spot on the shore, nerves tingling as he saw two beautiful animals at the edge of the surf– a startlingly white horse and humongous golden eagle. At the next peal of thunder, they lunged at each other.
The eagle swooped down, talons glinting as it slashed at the horse's muzzle, drawing streaks of bright red blood. The horse screamed in an awful mix of pain and anger as it reared back and kicked at the eagle's wings.
They fought viciously, neither one backing down as crimson dotted the wet sand underneath them.
The ground shook and Percy heard a deep laughter from beneath the earth that sent chills down his spine– evil impersonated– as it goaded the animals to fight harder, to kill each other.
Percy ran toward them in an attempt to stop them, but he was too late– the eagle dove down in a streak of white and gold, beak aimed at the whites of the horse's wide eyes.
"No!" Percy screamed, reaching out his hand.
"No!" Percy lunged forward with a gasp, smacking his head on the dashboard. He winced, rubbing his temple distractedly.
"Honey?" his mom questioned worriedly. "You alright?"
They were still on the road, and Percy recognized the street signs as they whizzed past– he must've drifted asleep on the way there. "Yeah, fine," Percy muttered tiredly. What was that nightmare?
His mom clearly didn't believe him, but didn't question it. "We're here," she said instead, pulling into the driveway. "Help me unload the car?"
Percy nodded, and as they got out of the vehicle, he noticed that it was now sunset– the sky painted vibrant shades of purple and pink. He paused for a minute, enjoying the peaceful scene– nothing like his dream.
"Percy?" his mom's distant voice snapped him out of his daze and he realized that she had already brought in all of the bags.
Percy blushed, ears red as his mom stared at him in amusement. "Sorry, I'll help tidy up the place," he mumbled, shuffling his feet towards the cabin.
So they spent the next thirty minutes hurriedly brushing away the numerous cobwebs and sweeping sand off the sheets, both eager to take a walk on the beach before it got dark outside.
"Snacks?" His mom waved the bags of blue food in front of him, and he grinned, nodding. She chuckled, packing them along with the hot dogs and marshmallows for later.
They left the cabin, and began their stroll along the beach. Percy was invigorated by the cold waves lapping at his feet, and just being with his mom in general. It felt normal– like all bad things were only a distant nightmare. He watched his mom toss a blue corn chip to a lone seagull, laughter bright and lively.
"Want one?" She offered up the bag of blue candies that she had brought from work, and Percy accepted it with a grin. Yes, things were good.
As it got dark, they gathered up somewhat dry sticks as they prepared to start a campfire. Soon, they had the hot dogs sizzling over the warm flames, and Percy's mouth started to water at the enticing savory smell. They dug into the greasy sausages, before breaking out the s'more supplies.
"I love this place," his mom sighed wistfully, her marshmallow dangling on a thin stick over the fire. "Whenever I'm here, it seems like anything is possible, like new beginnings."
When his mom's eyes changed from sea blue to misty gray, Percy knew she was about to start talking about his father, and he leaned closer to her in anticipation.
"You know, this is the place where I met your father," she continued softly. "I was young, ambitious, wanting to write books that inspired the people around me. And he supported that, made me feel like those far-off dreams were only moments away from being achieved."
"What was my father like?" Percy breathed, not wanting her to stop talking– he knew she would probably tell him the same things she always did, but he never got tired of hearing them.
She chuckled at his eager expression. "He was kind, Percy. Tall, handsome, and powerful– but gentle, too." She smiled sadly at him. "You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes. He would be so proud if he could see you, Percy."
Percy didn't understand how anybody could be proud of him– a dyslexic, hyperactive kid with horrible grades and a track record for getting kicked out of every single school he had attended. And possibly a history of hallucinations, Percy thought wryly. Who would want such a messed up son?
But as they both stared quietly at the flames, he thought he could remember a warm glow, a smile– even if he knew that his father had never seen him, only staying with his mom for a single summer.
Percy felt unreasonably angry at his father for not having the guts to marry his mom. But there was a shadow of underlying guilt as well– what if he was the reason his father left his mom? It was stupid, but in some twisted logic it made sense– after all, his father left after finding out his mom was pregnant with him. And now, they were stuck with Gabe.
Percy cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to distract himself from the depressing thoughts. "So, are you going to send me away to another boarding school?"
His mom sighed, pulling her marshmallow from the fire. "I think we'll have to do something," she murmured heavily. "I have to, for your own good."
"To protect me from Gabe?" Percy blurted out, unable to stop himself. "Then who's going to protect you?"
Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I need to keep you safe," she whispered faintly, avoiding his question. Her gaze drifted down towards the flames. "Maybe it's time to send you to that place."
"What place?" Percy blinked, confused.
"There was a place your father wanted to send you," she answered hesitantly, as if she didn't want to tell him about it. "A summer camp."
His father? Percy felt his head start to spin. Why would his father– who had left before he was even born– want him to go to a summer camp? And why was his mom only bringing it up now?
"I-I tried to keep you as c-close to me as I could," she choked out shakily, seeing the questions brimming in his eyes. "I was selfish– t-they told me that was a mistake, but I-I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean never seeing you a-again."
Percy was reminded of their earlier conversation in the car, and he hated the devastation that he heard in her voice. "Who are they?" he asked hotly. "Why do you care what they think? What are you not telling me?"
"You can't know!" his mom cried out in distress, drops finally spilling from her eyes. "You're not normal, Percy."
She slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "Wait, no, honey, I'm sorry–"
Mr. Brunner had said the same thing to him. But Percy couldn't bring himself to care as numbness nestled itself deep in his bones– a chilling weight that made it hard to breathe, hard to hear the frantic rambling from his mother, hard to feel the weight of her arms as she pulled him into a tight hug. Why am I not normal? Percy thought blankly. Why can't I just be normal? Why does it hurt so much?
Percy saw himself push his mom off of him. "Don't touch me," he heard himself snap without any real heat– how could he when it was so hard for him to feel anything? "I-I need some space." He watched as he sluggishly stood up, his mom frozen in place, and started walking away from the warm light of the fire.
What was wrong with him? How had it all gone so horribly so quickly? First Grover, then Mr. Brunner, and now his mom? Maybe I'm the problem, Percy thought dully. Maybe it would be better if he were just gone.
He walked, farther and farther from the light until there was darkness all around him. The waves were crashing heavily onto the shore, the splashes of water frigid to the touch. "It's cold," Percy muttered in dazed surprise. Was cold all he could feel now? He would find out soon enough.
He stepped into the water, freezing his feet as he slowly inched out further and further from shore. It was up to his knees now, and the current was strong, trying to sweep his feet from under him as it dragged him back, back into the murky depths of the ocean.
Percy didn't fight it, working with the current and going deeper into the sea, amazed at how cold it was– a piercing bite that stabbed into his sides as he submerged farther down.
The prickles of pain and beckoning darkness were comforting. Soon, he wouldn't have to feel anything anymore. His head went under, and he exhaled, tiny bubbles floating past his face. As his chest started to burn, he opened his mouth to allow water to flood into his lungs– to take him away from this personal hell.
Percy blinked. And took another breath. And another. Was he– was he breathing underwater? He was breathing underwater. Although now his breaths were coming in shallow pants as he began to hyperventilate. Was he really able to breathe underwater? It kind of didn't seem like it, considering he felt like he was suffocating. He started to giggle hysterically, tears lost in the waves. Gabe was right about everything. He was a freak.
He needed to get out, he felt trapped– drowning under the waves of his emotions as they spiraled out of control. Percy blindly looked around– where was up and down again?– as he struggled to fight his way to the surface. He felt himself stumble, tripping over a large rock hidden in the darkness.
In an instant, he was swept off his feet as the powerful waves snatched him up. And he was tumbling, a small speck helpless in the face of the ocean's might. I don't want to die– a timid voice spoke from the back of his mind.
Percy felt a strong tug in his gut– an uncomfortable pressure– before the waves calmed down, leaving Percy standing waist-deep near the shore. He collapsed to his knees, suddenly exhausted– what just happened?
Then, he felt hands grab at his shirt, tugging him away from the waves– they were growing in size and intensity again now that he wasn't in the water. Percy blurrily made out the outline of his mom– kaleidoscope eyes filled with fear.
"Let go," Percy rasped. "I'm fine, I can walk." They gradually trekked their way to the dark cabin, his mother not saying anything. Her expression was grim, and it was making Percy feel uneasy– he had never seen that look before.
His mom unlocked the door, and they stepped inside of the brisk cabin. She was shaking, hands trembling as she flipped on the lights and the heater. Finally, she turned to face him. "What were you thinking?" she stated flatly.
Percy coughed awkwardly. "I-I just needed to take a swim, get some space."
Her eyes narrowed. "Don't lie to me," she snapped. "There is a hurricane on the way, those waves were way too dangerous for a late night swim."
Sure enough, her words were accentuated by a flare of lightning, a booming clap of thunder following seconds after. Percy could hear the rain pounding on the cabin roof, wind howling– his heart fluttered anxiously. It was just like in his dream.
"Were you trying to kill yourself out there?"
The question snapped Percy back to reality, and he shrugged helplessly. He felt a slight burning sensation on his cheek, and he realized that his mom had just slapped him. He looked at her in shock, palm held gingerly to his face.
"How could you?" Tears flowed freely down her face, and Percy looked away in shame. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"I-I'm sorry," Percy mumbled, feeling water collect behind his own eyes. He hid them behind a curtain of black bangs. "I just needed the pain to stop," he whispered thickly.
"What's going on, Percy?" His mother begged him, "Talk to me."
The feelings that had been suppressed returned full force, and he almost staggered with the weight of them. "Grover and Mr. Brunner lied to me," he managed to choke out, before the dams flooded. "I thought Grover was my friend," he whimpered, sinking to the ground as he ripped out his hair in anguish. "I looked up to Mr. Brunner, saw him like a father-figure."
"But they lied to me, made me think I was crazy." Percy rambled on, words burning as they forced their way out. "Maybe I am crazy. Maybe Gabe was right, that I'm just a freak– I can see and hear things no one else can, I can heal, I can breathe underwater. Everyone was right about me, I'm not normal."
Warm arms clutched him tightly as his mom pulled him into a hug. Percy only cried harder, sobs racking his whole frame. "I'm the problem, it's because of me that dad left, that we're stuck with Gabe– I mess everything up, I'm stupid and make trouble for everyone. I thought it would be better if I were gone–"
"Don't say that," his mom interrupted, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. "Never say that. You are the light of my life, Percy." She took a shuddering breath. "You aren't normal, sweetie, but that's because you're special– you have no idea how important you are."
She continued, "I'm sorry that we've been hiding things from you, but you can't know– it's too dangerous. We've been trying to keep you safe."
"Who is we? Safe from what?" Percy pleaded desperately. "I can handle it– just stop lying to me."
But her response was cut off by an angry bellow from somewhere outside the cabin– an angry, tortured sound that made his hair stand on end. What was that?
There was a heavy pounding on the door, accompanied by frantic yelling– the voice sounded vaguely familiar.
His mom sprang up, throwing open the lock– a torrent of rain swept into the cabin, soaking the wooden floor.
It was Grover. Percy blinked– what was Grover doing here? And– what was wrong with his legs?
"Searching… all night," he gasped out breathlessly. "What were you thinking?"
His mom was deathly pale, flashes of lightning illuminating her face. "Why are you here? What happened?" she shouted, voice muted by the pouring rain.
"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" Grover yelled, locking eyes with a shocked Percy– had he just understood Grover curse in Ancient Greek? "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"
"Tell me now!" she demanded, eyes wide with fright.
"A Kindly One visited the school to kill Percy," Grover explained impatiently. "And we had a brush in with the Fates. Now the Lord of the Dead and his blood-thirsty minions are after him!"
His mom needed no more explanation. "Get to the car. Both of you. Go!" she snapped, grabbing her purse as they rushed out of the cabin.
Grover trotted to the Camaro, shaggy hindquarters damp with rain– yes, trotted. Percy finally understood how he could run so fast despite having a limp in his walk– because where his feet should be, there were instead cloven hooves.