The following week when I meet Levi at The Spot, he's not happy. I look in his eyes and the temper doesn't do much to mask the betrayal at Sawyer and I's engagement.
"I thought it was just for the Games," he says.
"It was!" I say, trying to do something to take away some of the hurt in his voice. "And then things changed. But I might have a plan."
I try my best to explain to him everything that had happened, from Snow threatening him and my family, to realizing this was my entire future, to wanting to try to make it work with Sawyer.
"So what's you plan," Levi asks.
"Well, it's yours, actually," I say. "We run away."
A slow smile spreads on his face. "Just us?"
"Well, of course not. Our families, obviously. I mean we know how to survive in the woods so it shouldn't be too hard. What will be hard is convincing Haymitch-"
"Haymitch? The drunk? Why would he be coming with us?" Levi asks.
"Well we can't leave him. They'll kill him and Sawyer for sure if we do," I say.
"You want to bring Sawyer too? Party's getting a little large, don't you think? We can't possibly leave with all these people. And what if they won't come?"
"Then I'll leave them behind. To keep Dani and my parents safe," I say.
"And what if I can't convince my family?" Levi asks. "You're gonna leave me too?" Levi's voice is turning bitter.
"If we don't leave we'll be killed! There's already been uprising in Eight-"
"Right now? What did you see?" He seems in disbelief. I try to explain what I saw on the television and he just starts laughing. "Do you know what this means Willow?"
I don't answer but it doesn't matter because he's too fired up now. "We can't leave. I won't. If what you saw in eight is real then it's the beginning of a rebellion. We have to stay and fight!"
"What?" I look at him in shock. "I need to stop this! People are getting hurt. I should have never pulled that stunt with the berries. Then everything would be better," I say.
"Better?" Levi scoffs. "People were starving. They're still starving. Something needs to change, Willow, and you've been given the perfect gift to do it." He looks at me with disgust. "I can't believe you would sell yourself to the Capitol like that. Have your perfect fiance in your perfect life. But don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit." And then he just up and leaves, leaving me alone in the trench.
His words run through my head. Is a rebellion inevitable? Is it too late to stop it? Things only seem to be escalating, but running now seems to only do more harm than good. Even if I got my family to come, I wasn't including Uncle Graham, or Aunt Madge, or any of my other aunts and uncles and cousins. And what about the rest of District Twelve? What would they do to them if their only victors disappeared?
I eventually have to leave, because it's much too cold and I'm starting to shiver, even with the thick coat Cinna left me. I head back through the fence, and am just past the seam about to enter the town square when I run into Sawyer.
"Hey Willow," he says. But when I immediately wrap my arms around him, he knows I'm upset. "What's wrong?"
"Not here," I say.
He nods in understanding. "Well you're freezing. Let's go back to the Victors Village and we can get you warmed up."
As we approach the town square, we hear a commotion coming from that direction.
"Do you hear that?" I ask Sawyer. I can see people starting to gather further ahead and I crane my neck to see what's happening.
Sawyer is ahead of me a few steps when he suddenly stops, and I run straight into his back. He turns to me, his face pale. "Get out of here, Willow," he says. "Go, I'll take care of him."
"Him?" I push past Sawyer through the crowd. There, in the center, is a large post that has been reverted in the square. And tied to the post, wrists bound, back exposed, is Levi.
Across from him is a man in a peacekeeper uniform I've never seen before, his face hard, his lips quirked upwards, like he might be enjoying this. Levi's back had already taken several lashes, and he's slumped against the post, his back bloody, moaning in pain.
I'm finally able to make my legs move just as the whip is coming down again. "Stop!" I say, running right into the path between them, holding my arms out. "Stop! You'll kill him." But the whip whizzes right past my outstretched arms, striking me right on the cheek, throwing me to the ground. I expect another lash but it never comes. Sawyer has stepped himself in front of me, trying to talk to this new peacekeeper but he won't listen.
"Get out of the way!" He says. "Or I'll have you both tied up right next to him."
The crowd is even bigger now, and they don't know what to do with themselves. Even those who know Levi wouldn't dare step in, and now that Victors are involved, they're beside themselves.
"What the hell is going on here?" Haymitch pushes his way through the crowd, pushing Sawyer behind him. Once we're under the protection of our mentor, Sawyer immediately comes to help me up. Haymitch comes over to examine my cheek, turning back to the man, furious. "Great, she's got a photoshoot next week modeling wedding dresses. What am I supposed to tell her stylist?"
I catch the flicker of recognition in the man's eyes. Bundled under the coat, my face free of makeup and now half-swelling, it wouldn't be easy to identify me as the most recent victor of the Hunger Games. But Haymitch has been on television for years so of course he's recognized.
The man rests the whips against his hip. "She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal."
"I don't care if she blew up the fucking Justice Building! Look at her cheek! Think that will be camera ready in a week?" Haymitch says.
"That's not my problem," the man says, but I can see the doubt starting to form in his eyes. He must not be used to having his authority questioned.
"Well it's about to be," Haymitch says. "Because the first call I'm making when I get back is to the Capitol. And I'm going to find out who authorized you to mess up my victor's pretty little face!"
"He was poaching. What business is it of hers anyway?" says the man.
"He's her cousin," says Sawyer, recalling the tidbit I had told President Snow. "And she's my fiancee. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us."
I grab his hand, squeezing it so tight, I'm afraid I might be hurting him. I hope he can tell how much I need him now.
Another Peacekeeper, who I recognize from the Hob sometimes, step forward. "I believe for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed sir," she says. Oh. This must be the new Head Peacekeeper. I wonder what happened to the old one? "Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad."
"Is that the standard protocol here?" asks the Head Peacekeeper.
"Yes, sir," the Peacekeeper says, and the other Peacekeepers nod in agreement. Although I'm sure none of them actually know.
"Very well. Get your cousin out of there then, girl. And if he comes to, remind him the next time he poaches off Capitol's land, I'll assemble the firing squad personally." The Head Peacekeeper wipes his hand along the length of the whip, splattering us with blood. Then he coils it into quick neat loops and walks off, the other Peacekeepers falling into step behind him.
Once I'm sure he won't come back, I rush to the whipping post. "Levi!" I work to untie his wrists but my hands are shaking too badly. Someone passes over a knife and Sawyer gently pushes me to the side and quickly cutting the binds.
"Better get him to your house," Haymitch says. Sawyer hands one of the kids a coin and asks them to call Nana to my house and the kid runs off, ecstatic to have been given a job.
One of the women at a stall offers to sell us a long board of wood she's been using as her countertop for us to use as a stretcher. Most of the crowd has left, not wanting to be involved, and I can't blame them. By the time we get ready to carry him, there's only a handful of people to help, but we manage.
"Get some snow on that," Haymitch says, and I scoop up a handful to press against my face. It's stinging now and it only makes me more aware of how much pain Levi must be in.
On our way back, the two men who volunteered to help, started recounting what had happened. Apparently, Levi had gone to old Head Peacekeepers Crays house which he's been doing for the last few months, because he's been known to buy meat for a decent price, but instead encountered the new Head Peacekeeper, a man someone heard called Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to the old Head Peacekeeper but Thread put Levi under immediate arrest and chose to make an example out of him with the new post in the town square.
"Luckily it was just the one turkey," they say. "Or it would have been much worse. And Levi made up some story about how he found it roaming. If they knew he went into the woods, they would have killed him for sure."
I can't help feeling guilty, since I was the one who showed Levi the snares where he more than likely found the turkey in the first place.
Snow starts again and it makes it hard to see. I stumble after the group into my house, using my ears more than my eyes to guide me.
"What happened?" I hear my Dad's voice as soon as we enter. Footsteps rush in from somewhere else in the house which must be my Mom.
"New Head," Haymitch grumbles. Dad brings them all into the kitchen where they hoist Levi onto the counter. Mom sends Dani out to get some snow while we wait for Nana.
Mom comes over to examine my face. "Did he cut your eye?"
"No, it's just swollen shut," I say.
She cleans the cut just as Dani comes back in with a container of snow. "Keep putting snow on it," she says.
As soon as Nana gets here she puts everyone to work.
"Do you think you can save him?" I ask her.
"Don't worry," Haymitch says. "Whippings used to be common around here and she would treat them all the time. He'll be fine."
But when I see Nana start poking around at Levi's back that was now just mangled flesh, I feel sick to my stomach.
"You're looking a little green," Dad says. "Sawyer, why don't you take Willow over to yours for a while. It's a little crowded in here anyway."
"No!" I protest. "I can't leave!" Not when it's my fault. And Levi needs me.
Levi groans, opening his eyes a bit. I push everyone away to get to him, grabbing his hand, letting him know I'm here. "Can we give him something? He's in pain!"
Nana offers an herbal concoction that I've had before. "That won't be enough," I say and they all stare at me. "I know how it feels, it's barely enough for a headache."
"We'll combine it with some sleep syrup and he'll manage," Nana says. "The herbs are more for the inflammation-"
"Just give him the medicine!" I scream as he lets out another groan of pain. "Give it to him! Who are you, anyway, to decide how much pain he can stand!"
"Willow Mellark!" Mom scolds.
My head is swimming and I'm overwhelmed with worry and guilt and I hate seeing my friend in pain. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry,!" I sob. "He's in pain! It's my fault!"
"Take her out," Nana says. "It will take me a while to clean him up. And he probably will be out for a while after we give him the sleep syrup. You can come back in a few hours."
"Don't worry Willow," Dani says. "I can watch him for a while. And Aunt Prim will be here soon too."
Sawyer literally has to carry me out of the house as I shout obscenities but as soon as we're outside, immediately I need to sit. The cool air is helping with the nausea and I whip off my coat too. I start dry heaving in the snow, choking and coughing. My eye had completely swollen shut and I can barely see through the tears in the other.
Sawyer rubs circles on my back until I've calmed down, and scoops out some more snow to press against my face. A scream comes from inside the house and I know that Levi must have woken up earlier than predicted.
"Come on," Sawyer grabs my hand, pulling me up. I let him lead me to his house and sit in front of the fireplace to warm up. He stokes the fire and drapes a blanket across my shoulders. He leaves, coming back a few minutes later with a cup of tea and a fresh bucket of snow.
"You're always taking care of me," I say, taking the warm cup from him.
"It's what we do," he says, awkwardly maneuvering his leg to sit next to me. "You and me." The snow is melting faster now because of the warmth from the fire so he offers me the bucket to scoop up some more.
"He was upset about our engagement," I say eventually, staring at the flames. We're burning coal, something we never used to be able to do. It was always wood, but now that we could afford it, coal was the longer lasting option. It made sense why Cinna wanted to make me the personification of these flames. They were mesmerizing.
"Understandable," Sawyer says.
"He didn't know…" I trail off. That it was real, or at least starting to be. "I said we should run away."
"Just you and him?" Sawyer asks. And just like that, I've broken his heart again.
"No!" I toss the half-melted snow back in the bucket and turn to climb on top of him. I didn't want him to retreat into himself. Because I know he would hide his own feelings to make me happy. "All of our families and you and Haymitch. Although having Haymitch around might make us regret leaving." I joke.
He relaxes, then looks back towards his door. "He's really important to you," he says.
"He's my friend," I say, not sure why he's bringing this up. "He knows how I feel about you, I'm pretty sure." Did I make it clear to him at the Spot? My mind might have been focused elsewhere. Not that it's very relevant now.
"But he's the first person close to us to get hurt because of what I did," I say.
Sawyer looks back at me. "What do you mean?"
"Why do you think we suddenly have a new Peacekeeper? And a whipping post? It's no coincidence that this is all happening right after our Victory Tour. Snow didn't believe us and now these uprisings are causing people to get hurt! To be killed!"
"Willow, what happened with Levi today was just by chance. It would have been anyone being punished. It could have been you or your mom, or some other random person who bought something at the Hob, or anything else. All we can do is be more careful about what we do where people can see. But you can't keep blaming yourself for everything. You'll drive yourself insane," Sawyer says.
"You always know what to say," I say and I lean in but he stops me.
"I think you're too emotional to be thinking straight right now. You don't have to prove anything, Willow. Not to me," he says. He thinks if I kiss him now, I won't mean it. It will just be because of my show in there over Levi. I feel like I can't do anything right.
I sigh, feeling completely defeated. Sawyer lightly presses his thumb on my cheek and I wince. "That looks terrible," he says.
"It hurts," I say dumbly.
"You scared me," he says. He holds a handful of snow up to my face but it's mostly slush now. "To just run in front of a Peacekeeper like that was stupid. We saw what they did to people in Eleven. But I wouldn't have expected anything less from you."
Sawyer takes the edge of his shirt sleeve to dry my face where the snow had dripped and then helps me stand. "Let's go check on Levi and see if we can get something to help with the pain for you."