Author's Notes: This was written for the AHA 2023 Writer's Bingo Challenge. This one was my entry for "Adopt a plot bunny from 2013-2018," and since I didn't really want to mess up someone else's idea, I adopted my own plot bunny from 2015, and I didn't really write it the way I'd initially thought of it, so maybe one day I'll visit it again and see if I can do better.
Never Mrs. Right
As Caroline Bingley sat stiffly in the church watching Elizabeth Bennet become Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy, a role she herself felt should have been her own, she wondered if she were indeed under a curse, destined to be deserted by all potential suitors. She had attended the finest seminaries, was taught the best ways to capture a man's interest. She was a lady and no base maneuvering would be hers, and yet somehow no suitor lasted.
First there had been Lt. Frederick Tilney, heir to an estate. They had met in Bath when she'd been attending her aunt Agatha. He had been most attentive for a week, but then when she'd got offended about his abandoning her to the card room one too many times and his refusal to introduce her to his father, he'd stopped paying attention to her at all and moved on to that little flibbertigibbit Betsy Grace (whom they'd all called Graceless at school) and that put paid to her interest in military men.
Next, while on a trip to Brighton with her sister and new husband (so tedious, but what could she do? She could hardly abandon her sister to her new husband, or not take advantage of any introductions he could make) she met a Mr William Eliot, heir presumptive to a baronetcy, which he didn't seem to appreciate, though Caroline was sure that once it was his, he would change his tune. They danced together more than once and walked out together with her sister and Hurst, and she thought it all very promising until he suddenly left and she heard he had engaged himself to the incredible well-dowered daughter of a glazier and the granddaughter of a butcher, of all things (her fortune was at least twice Caroline's), and Caroline could only once again curse the fickleness of men and be quite put out that her brother could not have let her know that Mr. Eliot was short of funds, so she would not have wasted her efforts.
Then there had been the Honorable John Yates. True he was a younger son but his father was a baron and discreet inquiries let Caroline know that he had an adequate competence. They had met at the theatre and then a dinner finally they were both at the same house party, which she attended with Charles, who true to form started flirting with the prettiest girl in the party. Knowing that she must promote her own interests in the properest manner possible, she turned her attention to the amateur theatricals, he was so obsessed with, and which seemed to form a large part of the entertainment at this house. Thus she tried to show that she was the equal to it. Unfortunately, being a properly educated lady, she could not bring herself to do more than read the lines, oft with a dash of contempt if the woman in the piece did not behave as a lady should. So for the big production at the end of the party, she got passed over for Sarah Benton who made everyone laugh with her exaggerated performance, and that was the end of Mr. Yates' interest, and frankly, she thought it a lucky escape, as she hated acting. It was so undignified.
Then at last had appeared the perfect gentleman, Fitzwilliam Darcy. He had already inherited his estate, which was quite substantial. He had a young sister who would do very well for Charles once she came out. He danced only as much as proper, and played at cards to the same extent, he was not a military man, and he had a biting wit and seemed to appreciate her own. Looking at the vexing vixen who had taken her place, Caroline firmly reminded herself that he had indeed appreciated her wit, up until those "fine eyes" had distracted him. Then he had no more time to dissect the poor manners and fashions of the locals. She had had hope when he agreed with her that her brother must be separated from the insipid Jane Bennet, who had nothing to offer but polite smiles and a dreadful family. They had seemed in accord again, but then after his trip to his horrid aunt (who she would only admit in the quiet of her own mind wouldn't be so horrid if she hadn't a daughter who might be considered a more proper match for him than Caroline), he suddenly was hardly available, and even when they were in company, paid her only the bare civilities and was no longer interested in their delightful game of "what is wrong with this company?" She had had so much greater hopes for the house party at Pemberley, but then she had appeared again, and it all went wrong.
And now she had to start over again. She certainly didn't wish to be stuck with Charles and his wife billing and cooing at each other like a pair of turtledoves. And the only thing that could make spending any time in the dreadful Eliza's presence, was the knowledge that she had found a superior gentleman of some kind, and she knew how unlikely that was, men like Fitzwilliam Darcy were rare as hen's teeth. She sighed quietly before looking up to realize that the interminable service was finally over and soon she could hopefully lose herself in the crowd at the wedding breakfast, as Mrs. Bennet had apparently invited the whole of Hertfordshire to witness what she seemed to consider her triumph, dreadful woman.
At least she ended up next to Col. Fitzwilliam, who was far more acceptable than another so-called gentleman in the area. And he delighted her with telling her all about the latest scandal in London. She looked at him a bit more closely. He might be a military man and not as handsome nor as rich as Mr. Darcy, but he was the son of an Earl, and that would make her superior to the horrid Eliza. So she smiled at the colonel and asked him another question.
The end
End Notes:
Here is the original plot bunny that I posted on AHA:
Caroline Bingley, Warped Mirror or Incompetent Chameleon.
Miss Bingley has the unfortunate effect (either from supernatural or natural causes) of literally either bringing out the worst traits of the man she's pursuing or mirroring those worst traits herself or both, thus dooming her pursuit. For instance with Mr. Darcy she manages to increase his pride and disdain (making it even more impossible that he'd consider her as a wife because of her origins) and/or acts even more snobbish and supercilious than is in her nature. And he's not the first or the only one that she has this unfortunate problem with; I would like to see her meeting up with and failing with other eligible Austen heroes or rakes, like say Captain Wentworth, Col Brandon, Henry Crawford or John Willoughby (I think it would be interesting to see what worst traits she'd bring out in multiple Austen characters before they end up in their canon pairings; I'm not overly particular as to which ones). As to how it ends, I'd be fine with either her ending the spinster Aunt looking after the Bingleys brood of children or her own happy ending where she meets a man who somehow cancels out her strange curse for whatever reason (perhaps his worst is what perfectly matches Caroline's or perhaps he has the power to bring out the best in people so they end up just themselves).
As can be seen, I didn't really end up writing this, and I also didn't want to write past this one scene to see if she managed to become Mrs. Right to somebody, be it the Colonel or someone else.
It's been a while since I've posted any stories, so any reviews would be greatly appreciated.