Beauties and the Moxxie: A Harem Musical

We open tonight's journey, dear reader, on a clear winter morning in the courtyard of an enchanted castle.

Snow has fallen through the night, and we see our heroes venturing outside, on the magical stage of our imagination.

As Loona, the Lady of this castle, walks, the faint sun casts a vast but, perhaps, no longer frightening shadow on the white snow. She isn't bothered by the cold, not with her fur. A much smaller figure, dressed in pink and white, walks by her side; a crossdressing Moxxie, of course!

He sees the small, colourful birds and goes to feed them. They flock to him but are afraid of Loona, until Moxxie shows her how to come gently near the little critters, and one of them jumps into her open paws.

Utterly amazed by such a beautiful scene, Moxxie starts to sing:

There's something sweet

And almost kind

But she was mean and she was coarse and unrefined

And now she's dear, and so unsure

I wonder why I didn't see it there before

Moxxie wonders off to meet other cute creatures, and Loona, equally confused, sings her feelings:

He glanced this way

I thought I saw

And when we touched he didn't shudder at my paw

No it can't be, I'll just ignore

But then he's never looked at me that way before

Moxxie seems to hide behind a tree, his right hand on his chest, bewilderment on his face:

New and a bit alarming

Who'd have ever thought that this could be?

True that she's no Prince Charming?

But there's something in her that I simply didn't see

Stella, Verosika and Millie, who were watching this scene unfold from afar, start singing:

Well, who'd have thought?

Well, curse my soul

Well, who'd have known?

Well, who indeed?

And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?

It's so peculiar

We'll wait and see, a few days more

There may be something there that wasn't there before

The scene magically changes before our eyes, we are now far away. From everything, it seems: high in the night sky of a distant land.

Enter the magic carpet that carries our heroes, Moxxie and Stella, as they leave their world behind- the world where so often Stella felt like a prisoner in her own palace, trapped in the loveless marriage that was imposed on her. The world where she could do little but vent her boundless rage and frustration on her husband, as callous as that was, as cruel and uncaring as she was toward her own daughter.

But with him, it was like her life had started all other again, in another world.

And he starts to sing:

I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, Princess, now when did

You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

Over, sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us no

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

Stella: A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

But when I'm way up here

It's crystal clear

That now I'm in a whole new world with you

Moxxie: Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Stella: Unbelievable sights

Indescribable feelings

Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling

Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world (Moxxie: Don't you dare close your eyes)

A hundred thousand things to see (Moxxie: Hold your breath- it gets better)

I'm like a shooting star

I've come so far

I can't go back to where I used to be

Moxxie: A whole new world (Stella: Every turn a surprise)

With new horizons to pursue (Stella: Every moment red-letter)

I'll chase the anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world

That's where we'll be

A thrilling chase

A wondrous place

For you and me

We slowly, silently descend to another, ancient land. We haven't left the night, but we are in what seems to be a garden adorned by an array of diverse statues, some familiar, some not. Among these, oddly out of place, we see a small statue of Blitz.

A figure that we easily recognize, Verosika, walks by, deep in thought. She starts singing:

If there's a prize for rotten judjement

I guess I've already won THAT

She emphasizes her words by crashing the statue of Blitz to pieces with her bare hands!

No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history

Been there, done that

Loona, Stella and Millie appear from the shadows to sing as an invisible chorus :

Who'd you think you are kiddin'?

He's the earth and heaven to ya

Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through ya

Girl, you can't conceal it

We know how you feel

And who you are thinking of

Verosika: No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no

Chorus: You swoon, you sigh

Why deny it? Uh-oh

Verosika: It's too clichè

I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"

Unless you are diying to cry your heart out

Chorus: You keep on denying

Who you are and how you're feeling

Baby, we are not buying

Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown-up

When you goona own up

That you got, got, got it bad?

Verosika: No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no

Chorus: Give up, give in

Check the grin, you are in love

Verosika: This scene won't play

I won't say I'm in love

Chorus: You're doing flips, read our lips:

You are in love!

Verosika: You're way off base, I won't say it

Get off my case, I won't say it

Chorus: Girl, don't be proud

It's okay, you're in love

Verosika: At least out loud,

I won't say I'm in love

Silence descends and all is calm for a while. The quiet is suddenly interrupted by a military tune; Loona, Stella, Verosika and Moxxie (who is now crossdressing - kind of - being disguised as a woman disguised as a man) rapidly form a line, as an armoured Millie enters the scene:

Let's get down to business

To defeat the DHORKS

Did they send me daughters

When Ah asked for sons?

You're the saddest bunch Ah ever met

But you bet before we're through

Mister Ah'll make a man out of you

Tranquil as a forest

But on fire within

Once you find your center

You are sure to win

You'll face human and angelic scum

And with Sin as your ally

Surely Ah'll make a man out of you

Now all the recruits are throroughly terrified and panicking:

I'm never gonna catch my breath

Say goodbye to those who knew me

Boy, was I fool in school for cutting gym

This guy's got us scared to death

Hope she doesn't see right through me

Now I really wish that I knew how to swim

Millie: We must be swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Time is racing toward us

Till the DHORKS arrive

Heed mah every order

And you might survive

You're unsuited for

The rage of war

So back up, go home, you're through

How could Ah make a man out of you?

We must be swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Everyone: We must be swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

It's time for the grand finale, Moxxie's solo. Now we are somewhere high among many spires reaching for the dark red sky of Pride, with Heaven, like a distant planet, far above us.

Moxxie, an imp who has seen much of both Hell and Earth, sings of things he has witnessed in a world not his own:

So many times up there

I've watched a happy pair

Of lovers walking in the night

They had a kind of glow around them

It almost looked like Heaven's light

I knew I'd never know

That warm and loving glow

Though I might wish with all my might

No face as hellish as my face

Was ever meant for Heaven's light

But suddenly an angel has smiled at me

And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright

I dare to dream that she

Might even care for me

And as I ring these bells tonight

My cold, dark tower seems so bright

I swear it must be Heaven's light!