The first thing Kaveh realized when he woke up: his splitting hangover headache. Second: this was not his bed. From that it followed, this was not his house. It was much too nice to be his room. The décor included folding screens with Liyue imagery, a wardrobe in the Mondstadt style, and an Inazuma style desk with an Aranara doll. Plus, there was a glass of water on the nightstand waiting for him. Alhaitham would never be so considerate.
Swallowing down the whole glass helped his head somewhat. Hmm, his shirt lay on the desk beside the doll, perfectly folded. It smelled fresh, like it'd been washed. He dressed himself. As his senses cleared, he realized a third thing: someone was cooking. He also realized he was starving.
He staggered out the room, nursing the headache of a lifetime. He followed that smell to an open door that led into a kitchen. Inside, Lumine tossed pancakes atop a stove. She wore only an apron over a night gown. It was mesmerizing, especially the shape of her long, bare legs…no, bad Kaveh, you're a gentleman. He cleared his throat, catching her attention.
"You're awake," she beamed. "Take a seat, breakfast is almost ready."
Uncertainly, he stumbled to a round table that had been set for him. Another glass of water along with a bowl of sweet fruits. He tried to remember how he ended up here, with an admittedly cute girl pouring syrup over his breakfast.
Yesterday had been one thing after another. Difficult clients who compromised his vision, giving away his lunch to a child who looked so hungry, and to top it all off, he got a letter from Dori. It had not so gently reminded him to pay his debt which had earned some interest. After all that, he needed drink. So he went to the bar, had a few drinks, and then everything went blank.
"Um, Lumine? What happened last night?"
"You got drunk and passed out. I was in the café so I offered to escort you home, but when we got there the door was locked and you didn't have a key. I brought you to my home instead."
So that was it. He had yet again made an absolute ass of himself for everyone to see and she had to bail him out.
"Thank you for looking after me," he said. "And I'm sorry for being such a headache."
"It's fine. Besides, I had something to ask you. But first…"
She laid a platter of pancakes before him, divvying them between the two of them. Well as undignified as it was, he truly was hungry. He wasn't so prideful to turn down free food.
He cut up a piece and took a bite. The flavor exploded in his mouth, sweet, fluffy. Lumine watched him eat, a grin spreading her cheeks.
"You like?"
"Yes! God yes. This is incredible!"
Between bites, they talked. She told him all about her adventures in Fontaine. Battling prophecies, saving a nation…her life made his seem kind of trivial. The heroic way she carried herself made him feel like an even bigger ass.
Lumine demanded to know what he'd been up to. The question struck him as bizarre. She'd seen what he'd been up to: wasting his life away falling deeper into the abyss known as debt.
But she looked so excited to hear him talk. So, he complained about Alhaitham and his troublesome clients. She seemed to hang on his every word, listening intently. She had that oh so cute smile she got when she was happy.
They must've looked like a pair of recently weds. Before now, he'd never really thought about marriage. Life was just too busy to think about settling down. But the idea of married life with Lumine was rather agreeable. More than agreeable, actually, it would be downright wonderful.
Reality wasn't so kind. She was a hero who fought gods and dragons, saving nations, protecting the weak. He on the other hand, was a struggling artist who got blackout drunk at a pub. This girl deserved much more than he could ever give her.
Lumine giggled, red tinging her cheeks. Kaveh realized with mortifying embarrassment he'd been staring at her curves. Not only was he broke, he was adding pervert to his ever growing resumé.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Don't be, this is your payback."
"My payback? For what?"
"You spilt wine on yourself so I had to strip you down. I saw a lot."
Oh God, right now, he'd be less embarrassed begging Dori for another extension on the debt. At least then, he'd be humiliating himself for a good cause. Seriously, how did one man so utterly humiliate himself in a single night?
Lumine scootched over to his side, giving him an all too perfect view of top of her chest. When she pressed her elbows together, those sweater puppies really popped. Kaveh swallowed a lot of water, hoping that might cool the rapidly escalating hotness in his cheeks.
"Y-you mentioned you had something to tell me," he said, desperate to change the subject.
"I know you've been down lately," she said, "so I've lined up some jobs for you!"
An angel. That's what she was. He genuinely wanted to kiss her. He'd give her his arms and legs if he could.
"You really are a hero," he said. "Honestly though, I'm not sure I could hold a pen steady right now."
"What a shame, Focalors will be disappointed."
"Focalors? You mean, Hydro Archon of Fontaine, Focalors?"
She slipped a letter across the table. The envelope was addressed to him. Opening it, he found a letter written by the Hydro Archon herself, commissioning a theater for public performances. He read the details hungrily. Then he came to the contract. Your commission fee will be… Oh. Now that was a generous offer.
And the exposure…if an idol like the Hydro Archon directed shows for his stage, he'd become a household name in Fontaine overnight. With that kind of prestige came more clients, which meant more mora. If all went well, he could reap a windfall of mora.
"I…I can't possibly accept this."
"Are you turning down a request from the Hydro Archon herself? That would be bad for Sumeru's relationship with Fontaine. Anyways, if you don't want this one, how about this one?"
She slipped another letter across the table, this one addressed from a Kamisato Ayato of Inazuma.
Dear Mr. Kaveh,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. My sources tell me you're the finest architect in Sumeru with an unimpeachable character. I'd like to contract you for a project. Now, this project is of great importance. Given this, your commission fee will be…
He had to read the numbers five more times. Even then he couldn't believe it. "Oh my God," he murmured. "S-so many zeroes. Who is this man that he can even write numbers like this?"
"He's the head of a Commission that governs Inazuma."
Another person he couldn't turn down. He read the details.
At this rate, he could become famous in two nations. And the reward…well, he'd go from broke artist to a rich artist. He could already imagine rubbing his newfound wealth in Alhaitham's smug face. With that much mora, he could pursue passion projects without even a second thought about his financial situation.
"Lumine, thank you. Man, I feel so foolish. You do all this stuff for me, and I can't begin to pay you back. Tell me what I can do for you, anything at all."
"Oh, you've already done plenty," she said. "I enjoyed taking care of you." Her eyes drifting down to his pants with an unmistakably lewd smirk. Kaveh was both embarrassed and oddly aroused. This didn't escape her notice. "But if you insist, I'd like that. Inside me. Once your headache's passed of course."
He was pretty sure she was just teasing him. She had to be, right? Well, it was working. He laughed, going along with her little joke.
Her smile—good God her smile—you couldn't look at that smile and not smile back, not feel your heart flutter. He was smitten. Utterly smitten. And he found himself nodding. Lumine wasn't done yet. She passed him a final letter. This one was addressed from…only Ningguang the richest woman in the world.
To Mr. Kaveh,
Lady Ningguang, the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and owner of the Jade Palace, would appreciate your architectural expertise for an important project that will forever impact Liyue. This project is highly confidential, details to be discussed upon your arrival.
You will receive a commission fee as well as regular salary with lodging and board. Your starting fee will be…
His jaw dropped—quite literally dropped like a stone through water. These numbers couldn't be real. Numbers like this didn't exist. The commission fee alone could settle his debts to Dori and his tab at least three times over. He could piss away mora every second and still have enough to live it up like a king.
"Lumine," he said. "May I kiss you?"
"Go for it."
So, he pecked her cheeks. Repeatedly. Then he hugged her. And gave her more cheek kisses. And hugged her again. A few more cheek kisses settled the matter.
"This is incredible! How did you even arrange all this?!"
Lumine said, "I have friends in high places. It kind of happens when you save every nation. They asked if I knew an architect—someone who was honest, dedicated, who cared about helping people."
"Well, I owe you everything." He became thoughtful. "I'll have to pack my things immediately. Maybe I can hire a porter and an escort."
"How about I be both for you?" she suggested. "You can stay in my teapot and we'll go together."
"Yes, I think that could work." He chuckled. "Funny, the way you phrased it, it almost sounds like a proposal."
She shyly brushed a strand of hair from her face. "What if it was?"
Now Kaveh was well and truly incredulous. The numbers, incredible as they were, he could believe. But this beautiful, brave woman wanted to be his wife? Him, the biggest loser in Sumeru? This had to be a dream. She couldn't really want him. Not like that. Could she? Surely, she saw he was the worst possible suitor for her.
Wait a minute, did this mean…?
"Lumine, have you been flirting with me all this time?"
"Since the second I took off your pants, but thanks for noticing."
At that moment, he felt well and truly like an ass. A dense ass who couldn't read what were in retrospect obvious signals.
"Kaveh? If you don't feel the same, I understand—"
"No! God, no, I do feel the same! How couldn't I? It's…it's just hard for me to see why someone as amazing as you would ever want me."
"Well, you're kind, sweet, dedicated to your craft, and you put others before yourself," she said. "The fact I like your body is also a nice bonus. So, does that mean you accept?"
"Yes, of course! But, are you really sure you want me? I mean, I'm not rich so I don't know that I could give you what you need."
"Kaveh, do us both a favor. Stop acting like you're not good enough for me. I want you and that should be enough."
She cupped his chin, the question plain in her expression—May I? He nodded. She brought her lips into his. They kissed and kissed, and didn't stop until they could taste the pancakes on their lover's tongue. They took a breath. Then they kissed some more.
Maybe she was a dragon-slaying hero, but he wasn't going to let her outdo him when it came to this. Cradling the back of her head, he leaned into the kiss. A tiny moan escaped her throat. He slipped his other hand around her smooth thigh and she groaned his name. God, he loved the sound of his name when she said it, like a cat purring.
"Kaveh," she whispered. "In five seconds, I'm going to rip of your clothes and make you mine. Would you like that?"
"Tearing up my clothes—no. Making love—absolutely."
She giggled. "You're so cute, Kaveh. And you're all mine."
When he woke up that afternoon, he realized something. Just this morning, he woke up in a bed that wasn't his. Now it was, and he shared it with his perfect lover who slept beside him, her arm splayed idly across his chest, her legs intertwined with his.
He felt sore. Who wouldn't after going at it like that for so long? But he didn't care. He'd take this soreness over a damned hangover any day.
He tenderly stroked her blonde locks, prizing out a content little hum. God, she was adorable. She seized other hand directing it to her waist. Then further down to her butt. She smiled as she felt his palm against her buttocks.
She fit so easily in his grasp. The smoothness of her skin, the warmth of her body pressed against his…it was all so perfect. He wanted to preserve this memory forever.
"Kaveh," she mumbled, "I want kids."
"How many?"
"As many as you can put in me."
He gave a nervous laugh, feeling more than a tad bit frightened.
"Okay. But kids are expensive. I'm not sure I could provide for all of them."
"You can. Once you take the jobs, you're going to be quite rich. So, if mora's the only problem, well it won't be for long."
"Hm, I get a sneaking suspicion you planned all this."
"What? Are you suggesting I abducted you from the tavern, brought you to my house, cooked you breakfast wearing barely anything, offered you lucrative opportunities, and made love to you just so I could have your children?"
"Did you?"
"Maybe."
He laughed. He really was no match for this girl.