We see a very familiar island, before a very familiar voice is heard.
"We've come a long way since the start of this show. Drama, toxic relationships, and of course, pain!"
The camera panned to our favourite host, Chris McLean. "We've featured strategists, downers, delinquents, CITs, and much, much more people I don't like."
The co-host, Chef Hatchet, seemed to whisper something to Chris, much to his delight. "After many seasons, some more well-received than others, we're bringing back people from our old cast, in a new setting!"
Walking to the very edge of the Dock-of-Shame, Chris happily gestured for the camera to focus on something else.
There, was a huge cruise ship that costed more than your life. It was extremely massive, making Camp Wawanakwa look like a termite in size. It had more rooms than you could count, a large pool, water slides, wonderful food, and everything else a fantastic cruise ship would have.
"Introducing the S.S. McLean!" A proud Chris announced. "Eighteen returning campers are going to battle it out for not one, nor two, but FIVE MILLION DOLLARS! On this million dollar trip, we're going to be travelling anywhere and everywhere!"
Chris and Chef both put on their sailor hats and boarded the S.S. McLean.
The former walked into a a nice-looking hallway and opened the door to one of the rooms. It looked great. A comfortable bed, it was sanitised, a big couch, and windows showing a beautiful view of the ocean.
"There will be two teams, the winning team will be staying in these rooms." The host explained.
Going down a couple decks, the hallway clearly did not look appealing. It smelt awful and there were cobwebs all over the place. No one had bothered to clean this area up.
Chris opened up the door to one of the rooms. "The losing team however, will have to stay in these rooms. And they have to be shared by two people each." He snickered.
The beds were small and uncomfortable, the rooms reeked, there were no couches, and only a single cushion was available.
Up on the deck, there were multiple foldable chairs lying about. They were all facing a wooden plank which extended out to sea.
"Whenever a team loses, they'll be forced to go to elimination, where one unlucky fellow will have to talk the Plank-of-Shame, hah!"
Chef came with a tray of small sandwiches. Chris gladly took one.
"In this season, a complimentary sandwich will be used to symbolise immunity. If you don't receive one, you're gone, a loser with no prize money, and possibly getting eaten by a shark." Chris explained, munching on his sandwich. "Chef, get ready to steer!"
"Not even a 'thank you', typical Chris..." He grumbled, before heading off.
Chris looked directly at the camera. "How will the contestants fare with each other? Will there be burning hatred? Juicy drama? Suspicious plays? Or new friendships? I personally hope for everything except the last! But who knows?! You will! Once you see TOTAL... DRAMA... THE SEVEN SEAS!"
(Cue theme song)
Chris was standing, seemingly waiting for the contestants to show up. He perked up once he saw the first familiar face. "Our first challenger boarding this beauty of a boat, Leshawna!"
"You're not wrong, this ship is a beauty! This makes me want to take back half the bad things I've said about you." Leshawna said, admiring the cruise ship.
"It's that good!" The host exclaimed. He then turned his attention to the next returnee. "Harold!"
This made Leshawna happier than she already was. "Oh, Harold! Give me some sugar, baby!" She said, squeezing him in a hug.
"H-Hi, Leshawna..." Harold managed to croak out. He wasn't complaining though.
"Sorry, Ginger biscuit." Leshawna apologised, letting Harold go as he gasped for air. "It's okay, Legoddess, nothing I cannot handle." He insisted, punching and kicking the air. Leshawna rolled her eyes, Harold was still trying to win her back with his so-called 'ninja moves'.
"Hiya! Hwah!" Harold yelled, still showing off his moves. "I've been training, I'm basically unstoppable." He bragged. A wild, energetic contestant suddenly hopped on his head, making him get knocked out and cry.
"Izzy!" Chris announced.
"Better keep your distance." Leshawna warned Harold, helping him up. "You might catch a case of crazy."
Izzy kept on hopping around. "Woah, ho ho! This place ain't half bad! Ain't half bad to BLOW UP! You're lucky Explosivo doesn't know about this ship, or it might have already gone BOOM BOOM!"
Leshawna, Harold, and Chris all blinked in unison, concerned and scared.
"Uhhh... Oh look, Alejandro!" Chris said, switching topics.
The Spaniard boarded the S.S. McLean, only to be met by two glaring faces. "Ah, Harold, Leshawna, I do hope you're open to forgiving and forgetting, yes?"
"You robbed me and my fair Leshawna out of a million dollars! The only thing we'd like to forget is you!" Harold angrily replied. Leshawna high-fived him. "You tell him, baby!"
Alejandro merely smiled. "I understand. Hopefully I can make it up?"
Leshawna scoffed. "Yeah, right."
Chris cleared his throat. "Next up, our first ever champion, Owen!"
Owen boarded the S.S. McLean and immediately pulled Chris in for a bear hug. "Hi, dude! Hi Leshawna! Hi Harold! Hi Al!"
Alejandro's eye twitched.
"Hi Iz-" Owen stopped. He let go of Chris and looked nervous and uneasy. "Uh- I- WHO'S THE NEXT PERSON?!"
Everyone else, including Izzy, seemed confused.
"Ah, sweet oxygen..." Chris finally regained his ability to breathe properly after that bone-crushing hug. "Ahem, Tyler!"
"This is Tyler's season, baby!" The clumsy jock exclaimed, doing a front flip to make an entrance, only to hit the floor face first.
"Still the same." Chris chuckled.
Alejandro helped him up. "Are you okay, amigo?"
Tyler groaned but shook off the pain. He gave Alejandro a thumbs up. "Never better, Alejandro. How've you been?"
"Just fine, thank you for asking." The Spaniard answered.
Chris turned to the next returnee. "Duncan! How are you feeling about this?"
"Just fine. Maybe better once you choke on your gigantic ego." He retorted.
Chris just stood there.
"Ugh, Duncan... Any ounce of respect I've had for him are long gone. I would never break Leshawna's heart like that." Harold claimed.
"Harold, I keep telling you this, we're just friends." Leshawna sighed. "But I agree, I didn't think you'd stoop so low."
Duncan ignored them, or at least did his best to. He's aware he screwed up, and would rather not be constantly reminded of it.
Chris just knew Duncan was going to bring something to the table. And he had a feeling the next returnee would not be any different. "Next up, a contestant that's only competed in one previous season, Eva!"
The grumpy challenger glared at everyone, especially Leshawna. Leshawna glared at her back. After a while, Eva went beside Izzy. So far she was the only one there she considered a friend...ish.
More campers continued to make their entrances. Like Geoff, who at this point, was one of the few who were fond of Duncan, or Gwen, who dearly hoped her reputation was getting better. Leshawna and Geoff still liked her, much to her relief, but things were awkward between her and Duncan, clearly seen as they were struggling to even look each other in the eye.
Sierra was also announced back, though she seemed disappointed that Cody wasn't there. "Uhh, Chris, my Codykins is competing this season, right?"
Chris just stared at her, silent. Finally, he spoke up. "I'll let you figure that one out."
DJ, Noah, and Justin were all boarded. The first of them hugging Duncan and Geoff. It was a while since the three have properly hung out. Izzy was ecstatic to see Noah. "Alright, Team E-Scope makes a return!"
"Yes, I'm filled to the brim with joy." Noah remarked, stoic. "Where's the big guy, I thought he's on here?"
"He is. But he's not going near us for some reason, strange. And it's such a shame too, I miss him so much!" Izzy responded, scratching her head.
"I'm not complaining, he's obnoxious and filled with farts anyways." Eva admitted. She was never really fond of Owen.
Justin was growling once he caught sight of Alejandro. The nerve he had to try and take his title. Once Chris announced Katie and Sadie would be returning, he immediately got to work. He'd show that faker.
Justin took off his shirt and flexed his abs. "There's more where that came from, haha. You'll need glasses, people have been known to stare so much that-" He was caught off by the squealing girls running past him to fawn over Alejandro.
"OMG! Sadie, we're actually next to him!" Katie squealed.
"I KNOW! It's just like, OH MY GOSH!" Sadie agreed.
Alejandro chuckled. "Ladies, ladies, please..."
"Isn't he such a gentlemen?!"
"Such a gentlemen!"
Justin was enraged, only to notice Owen swooning over him. "At least I can always count on you." He said, before walking past him.
Courtney was next and internally groaned when she saw Duncan on the cruise. She should've expected that. She can pretend he doesn't exist like in All-Stars, that was effective, right?
Gwen waved to her. "Hi Courtney."
"Hi Gwen." She waved back. They made up after the chart thing, which looking back on, they found pretty funny now.
"And now, last but not least, Heather!" Chris said.
Heather boarded the ship and stood somewhere by herself. Alejandro approached her.
"No."
"Chica, I-"
"No!"
Alejandro shrugged and left her alone.
Chris got everyone's attention. "Since everyone is here, we'll start off with your first challenge! Confessional's in the bathroom, by the way."
"Which one?" Courtney asked.
Chris thought about it. "I forgot."
The contestants groaned.
Confessional (Owen):
It cut to Owen panting. "F-Found it..." He wheezed, before passing out.
End of confessional.
He went on to continue explaining the challenge. "This one is straightforward. You all start from here and run one lap around the S.S. McLean! Get into position."
They all did what they were told.
"On your marks..."
"Get set..."
"GO!"
They all started to run.
Izzy, Eva, and Noah were sticking together. "I haven't even greeted him yet, can't we slow down a little?" Noah tried asking.
"No! It's not our fault he's as slow as a snail!" Eva spat coldly.
Noah figured it was a good idea to not argue with her.
The Killer Bass trio were in the lead. "Duncan, how you been?" DJ questioned.
"In jail. It wasn't so bad once I got used to the food. It's like Chef's cooking was preparing me." Duncan jokingly answered. Geoff and DJ laughed. "Sorry you got arrested, dude." Geoff said, after his laughter died down.
"Eh. I kinda had it coming." He admitted. The lengths he went to just to show he wasn't soft was ridiculous.
Before they knew it, they finished the lap. Chris was there to congratulate them.
"Well done, you three! Please, stand to the right of me."
The trio did as they were told. Almost after, Izzy, Eva, and Noah came along.
"You three, stand to the left of me." The host ordered.
"I'm guessing this is how the teams are sorted." Noah figured. "I'm sure ours will be amazing." He said, though his face would tell otherwise.
"I'm telling you, Leshawna." A voice spoke up. "I could totally fight off a dozen rabid raccoons. I've been studying any possible weaknesses."
"Yeah, lemme guess, is one of them blabbing nonsense?" Duncan retorted.
Harold folded his arms. "No! I'm surprised you don't know, considering you resemble one yourself!"
"Oh you're going to pay for that!" Duncan growled, cracking his knuckles.
"Hurt him and you're taking a one-way trip to the nearest hospital." Leshawna threatened.
"Alright, alright. This is only the first episode, let's not have it be a bloodbath." Chris interfered. "Leshawna, Harold, to my right."
The two did what they were told and glared at Duncan.
Justin was next, along with Katie and Sadie. They weren't with Alejandro so he took the opportunity. He needed to be the center of attention. "Yeah, you girls are lucky, spending quality time with the hottest guy in the universe."
"Yes, yes, whatever you say. Justin, join the people to the right of me. Katie and Sadie, left." Chris ordered.
"WHAT?! B-But-"
"No buts, do it!"
Justin walked to the players on Chris' right, his head hung low.
The BFFFLs shrugged and went to Noah, Eva, and Izzy.
Gwen and Courtney soon arrived. "Whew, we did it!" Gwen happily pointed out. "And we're not last."
"Yes. What life changing news. Gwen, to my left. Courtney, to my right.
"Yikes, looks like we're separated." Gwen sighed.
Courtney patted her back. "It's okay, Gwen. Maybe we'll merge." She tried to reassure.
"Yeah, maybe." Gwen agreed, joining the team on the left.
Courtney looked at her team and she almost screamed.
Duncan.
Duncan was there.
She took a deep breath and made her way over.
Duncan saw this opportunity and decided to say something. "Hey-"
"Do. Not. Talk. To. Me." Courtney snarled.
Duncan stayed quiet.
Heather finally completed her lap, with Alejandro finishing shortly after. Obviously he'd been following her and Heather wasn't the most appreciative of that.
"I said no!"
"But you wouldn't let me-"
"NO!"
"Yeesh. Ahem, you two, join the seven on this side." The host pointed to his right.
Alejandro looked at Heather smugly. "Looks like we'll be on the same team."
"Ugh!" Was all Heather could reply with. She reluctantly joined them, as did Alejandro.
Tyler and Sierra were the next two to arrive. "Chris! I don't see Cody! Where is Cody?!"
"He's not competing, Einstein." Noah answered for him.
"B-BUT I THOUGHT H-HE'D- CCCCCOOOODDDYYYYYY!!!!!"
Tyler looked concerned as Sierra broke down crying.
Chris groaned as he rubbed his temples. Why did he bring her back? "Tyler, Sierra, join this team." Chris said, pointing to the team on his left.
Tyler dragged Sierra by the leg and did so.
Unsurprisingly, Owen arrived last, and he was exhausted. "N-Need... water..." He panted.
"I think I see the light..."
"Slow as a snail." Eva spat again.
"Owen, team on the left." Chris ordered him.
Owen crawled to his team, but said nothing when he realised Izzy was there too.
"You look horrible, chubby buddy." Noah pointed out, patting his back.
"Yeah, I guess... Hi Noah." He greeted, using all his energy.
Noah smiled. "Hey."
"Hey Big-O!" Izzy yelled. Happy to see him up close again.
Owen stayed silent once again.
"... Big-O?"
Chris used an airhorn to catch everyone's attention. "Alright, alright. As you've all realised by now, you've all been put into teams. Izzy, Sierra, Katie, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Gwen, Tyler, and Owen! From now on, you'll be known as the Overpowered Oceans!"
"Alright! I'm gonna bring truth to our name!" Tyler exclaimed, punching his arms into the air.
"Right." Chris remarked. "DJ, Harold, Courtney, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Heather, and Alejandro! You'll be known as the Superior Seas! Now you're all aware how this goes. You lose, you go to the elimination ceremony, where one of you will be eliminated."
Confessional (Eva):
"Have you seen my team? We need all the help we can get."
Confessional (Duncan):
"Look, during my time in the slammer, I've sorta realised how much of a jerk I was, and now I kinda wanna make things up. That's going to prove difficult, haha..." Duncan fake laughed.
Confessional (Izzy):
"Why doesn't Owen want to talk to me?" She gasped. "Do I smell like vegetable soup?! He hates healthy food!"
End of confessionals
"Now with the cast introduced, and teams sorted, they'll be ready to dive in painful challenges! What's the deal with Heather and Alejandro? How will Sierra fare without Cody? And will Owen be able to outrun a snail? Find out next time on TOTAL... DRAMA... THE SEVEN SEAS!"
"Chef, more sandwiches please!"