Eddie loved mornings like these. Mornings where he and Christopher could go through their whole morning routine together without rushing and skipping things. It had been rare to experience this back in Texas, so he relished every chance he got.
Everything was back to normal after the earthquake. They got their typical calls and Buck and Eddie hung out while on the job. They also texted here and there between shifts, but it was still very casual. Getting to know each other without diving too deep. Eddie was happy with the pace, since he was still settling into a new city and job. He had a ton of other things to worry about so he was glad Buck wasn't pushing for more.
Having his abuela in town was a godsend. It was one of the reasons why he'd chosen Los Angeles instead of Chicago. Not the only reason, but he wasn't ready to dive down that other road quite yet. Having someone he trusted to watch Christopher was so important, since Eddie still had to figure childcare out. Thank goodness it wasn't the summer, since Eddie would've been screwed. He already felt guilty enough having to rely on his abuela so much. As soon as he found a solution, he wouldn't have to burden her anymore.
The call to the bar had started out simple enough. Eddie knew how some people felt about firefighters, so it wasn't a surprise when they got extra attention from the tipsy patrons. What did surprise him was the flash of jealousy Eddie felt when he heard people's comments about Buck. Anyone with eyes could see he was a good looking guy, but he didn't like how forward some of the women were getting. He would never dream of flirting so aggressively, if he was even the type to flirt at all.
When some of the attention was turned to him, he gave his go-to excuse. Not that he'd had to use it that often. Eddie had never been the type to hang out in places where you'd get picked up. Mentioning he had a kid was usually enough to deter the rare suitors, since that usually complicated things more than people wanted. And it usually put the onus on the other person to choose to walk away, instead of making Eddie the bad guy for rejecting. It made life easier for him and Eddie was always happy to avoid a challenge any chance he got.
"Can't date because of your kid, huh?" Buck questioned as soon as they got a little space from the group.
"It makes it a lot more complicated. And no one I'd met before had felt worth the effort."
"No one before?" Buck asked, biting the inside of his cheek. No one else before had even been a thought. Maybe it was the fresh start in a new town that gave Eddie the confidence to try again, or maybe it was just Buck.
"Not even close," Eddie confirmed, smirking when Buck's face switched from hopeful to pleased. Maybe he wasn't so bad at this flirting thing after all. "By the way, I heard the excuse you gave to those women. Is Abby the only reason you brushed them off?"
"Of course not! I'm holding out for a redhead."
"Funny."
"You know that's not the reason. I couldn't exactly say the real reason in front of all those people, but if you want me too, I'll go back and set them straight," Buck offered, walking backward toward the group of women. Eddie snagged him by the shirt before he could get far, glaring up at him playfully.
"Don't you dare. I'd be the most hated man in this bar."
"How so?"
"I'm sure they're all cursing your invisible girlfriend. I'm not going to be the target of their anger."
"I think you're thinking too highly of me," Buck scoffed.
"Just as high as you deserve," Eddie argued, before his cell phone vibrating in his pocket interrupted their talk. It was Tia Pepa and Eddie instantly knew something was wrong. She wasn't the type to call him, especially when he was in the middle of a shift. And when she told him to get to the hospital, he felt like the ground was falling out from under him again.
Eddie rushed to the front of the building, needing to find Bobby as soon as possible. He heard Buck following after him, but he couldn't take the time to stop and tell him what was wrong. The panic was stealing his ability to do much of anything. As soon as Bobby saw him, he must've noticed the crazed look in his eyes immediately.
"What's wrong?"
"My aunt. She- she just called from the hospital. My son-"
"Go," Bobby directed, waving Buck over to them. "Buck, go with him."
"I'll hail a cab," Buck said, rushing off to do just that.
"Are you sure?" Eddie asked. He had a job back in Texas that he tried to leave early once when Chris spiked a fever, but they wouldn't let him go. He would've walked out on the spot if he hadn't needed the medical benefits for Christopher. Even though he did what he had to do, Eddie still felt like a failure when his parents had to take Chris to the doctor for him.
"Go," Bobby insisted, turning him and nudging him toward where Buck was waiting next to a cab. Thank goodness for drivers who still hung around outside of bars for fares. Eddie mumbled out the name of the hospital as soon as they were both inside and then they were off.
"I can't believe this is happening again," Eddie whispered, bouncing his knee as he felt like his whole body was gonna shake apart. They'd gotten lucky with the earthquake, but what if their luck had run out?
"What exactly did your aunt say?" Buck asked, reaching over and gripping his hand. There was no one around that they knew, so they didn't have to worry about anyone seeing. Eddie focused on where they were joined, trying to distract himself from his panic.
"She got a call from the hospital saying that my abuela and Christopher had been brought in, but she didn't know anything else yet. Why wouldn't they call me?"
"If Christopher wasn't admitted, they wouldn't call you, right?"
"But my tia is my abuela's emergency contact, so they would call her." Eddie wouldn't let that fact reassure him about Christopher, because it wasn't certain until he saw his son with his own eyes. And even if he was okay, that meant his abuela wasn't. She was one of the most important people in the world to him and he couldn't stand the thought of losing her.
They rode the rest of the way in silence, but Buck never let go of his hand. When they finally got to the hospital, the person at the front desk directed them to the correct floor. They rushed to the elevator, which was a more nerve wracking ride than the repelling stunt from the hotel, before they finally made it to the proper waiting room. Eddie spotted Pepa and hurried toward her, noting that at least she didn't look completely devastated.
His heart finally stopped trying to burst through his ribs when she told him Chris was okay. Seeing his son charming the hospital workers helped as well, but hearing his abuela broke her hip didn't. Eddie felt like a little kid as Pepa scolded him for relying on his abuela too much, but he deserved it. Even though he was trying to find another way, it was no excuse. This was Eddie's fault.
He soaked up as much love as he could from Christopher before it was time to go back to the station. Eddie thanked Pepa again for watching Christopher and promised to do whatever he could to pay her back for it. Buck had an Uber waiting for them by the time they got outside. As soon as they climbed in, Eddie slumped against Buck's side. He needed the comfort and he knew Buck wouldn't judge him for it.
"This is a mess," Eddie sighed, closing his eyes in defeat. Buck wrapped his arm around his shoulders, holding him even closer.
"So what is the deal with all the paperwork? Maybe I can help."
"I can't even explain it because I don't understand it. It's like everything works against each other," Eddie groaned. "And I can't leave Chris with just anyone, since they won't understand his needs. But paying out of pocket for that kind of specialized care would wipe me out in a second."
"I'm sorry this is so hard for you."
"I just want what's best for him, you know? I can't make everything easier, but not everything should be this hard." Eddie didn't like to complain, since so many people had it so much harder than them, but Chris deserved any break he could get. And he should be able to get the things he's entitled to without it always being a fight.
"I can tell how much you love him, even if I haven't been around the both of you that much."
"Love isn't always enough," Eddie said bitterly, thinking of Shannon. His feelings about her were so complicated. On one hand, he understood why she left. She needed to be with her mom and taking care of Christopher alone had overwhelmed her. Eddie had run away too, but his justification was that he was running toward something for his family. He risked his life to keep a roof over their heads. He called when he could, instead of sending no word for years. And now that Christopher was old enough to be aware of what was going on, the thought of not being in his life was impossible. Not doing everything he could for this incredible kid was impossible.
Eddie thanked Bobby and let him know everything was okay when they got back to the station. He kept to himself for the rest of his shift while they were between calls, making calls of his own. And when he was outside of business hours, Eddie was doing research on the internet and sending emails. Buck was beside him the whole time, trying to sift through everything as best he could. Eddie appreciated it, even though they didn't make much progress.
Before his next shift, he got a call from Pepa that she wouldn't be able to take Christopher as early as she thought. Her work was short staffed and they couldn't spare anyone until later in the day. Eddie had no one who could take Christopher. He pulled out his phone without thought, pacing inside of his tiny bedroom.
"Hello?"
"He's gonna fire me, isn't he?"
"Eddie? What are you-"
"He's gonna fire me and I'm gonna have to go back to El Paso, to- to my parents. Shit, Buck."
"Slow down, what are you talking about?"
"I'm too new for this. Bobby is gonna think I'm unreliable and cut his losses. Make space for someone better."
"Eddie, breathe and tell me what's wrong," Buck said calmly. Eddie sucked in a breath that got caught in his throat and he almost choked on it, but he stuttered it out eventually. He heard Buck breathing on the other line, so he focused on matching his pace. After a few cycles of this, he finally felt like he could speak again.
"Pepa can't watch Christopher like she thought. It's gonna be a couple hours until she can. I'm going to have to call out because there's nowhere else he can go," Eddie explained, slumping down on the edge of his bed. "I'm still on probation, Buck. And Bobby's great, but everyone's patience runs out eventually."
"I'm still around, aren't I?"
"Didn't you get fired?"
"But he hired me back, which means he has the patience of a saint and is very forgiving."
"Buck, he knows you and knows you're worth the effort. At the end of the day, I'm the new guy. I'm no one. I'm not worth the trouble."
"Bring him," Buck said suddenly.
"What?"
"Bring Christopher to the station. I'm sure Bobby would be cool with it. And if you're already convinced he's gonna boot you, why not try?"
"Buck, I can't." The thought of getting fired was bad enough. For it to happen in front of Christopher was even worse.
"It'll be better than calling out at the last second. Most likely you and Chris will just be man behind today."
"Buck."
"Bring him. I gotta go, but I'll see you two at the station in a little bit." The call cut off before Eddie could argue further. He stared at the phone for a few seconds, trying to figure out if that had been real or some strange stress hallucination. When a text came in from Buck that said "bring him" in all caps, underlined, and with three exclamation points, he figured it was real. Eddie didn't even know you could underline texts.
Thirty minutes later, Christopher and Eddie were walking into the station together. Eddie glanced around nervously, waiting for Bobby to pop out from behind a truck and start lecturing him. That wasn't at all how Cap was, but Eddie's mind could catastrophize like it was an Olympic sport.
"Hey, there's my favorite Diaz!" Buck called from the second level. "And I see you brought your dad too."
"Funny," Eddie huffed, although he could admit that he was charmed. Chris was downright cackling next to him.
"Come on up," Buck said, waving for them to join him. Eddie reluctantly picked Chris up and carried him up the large staircase. Hen and Chimney were seated in the TV area and greeted them both excitedly. Eddie hadn't explicitly mentioned having a kid to them, but it seemed like they weren't surprised. He hoped they didn't think he didn't trust them with the information, he just tended to keep things close to the vest. Until it came to Buck, apparently.
They all sat down and talked, while Christopher was his usual, captivating self. He sure didn't get that quality from Eddie. People were more likely to forget he was in the room, while Christopher thrived at being in the thick of things. Eddie almost forgot his worries as he sat and watched his son have so much fun with his new friends, until Bobby walked up to them.
Eddie stood up, immediately apologetic and contrite. If he was about to be fired, hopefully Bobby would at least take him into his office to do it. But instead of being mad, Bobby was his usual, amiable self. Buck had called him earlier and told him what was going on and Bobby had cleared it with the higher ups. Eddie felt like an idiot for not thinking of doing so, but he was endlessly appreciative of Buck for doing it for him. Before he had a chance to sneak Buck away to thank him, the bell rang and they were off on a call.
The rest of the day went amazingly well. He felt a sense of pride getting to show his son what he did all day. Eddie was privileged to be able to do something that mattered and he would do everything he could to keep being able to do it.
The rest of the team took to Christopher immediately. Chimney played pinball with him. Bobby made him lunch. They all helped Christopher slide down the pole. Eddie locked eyes with Buck at the bottom and their possible life together flashed in his mind. Taking Christopher to the zoo, helping him with homework, cleaning up after a meal. All the things he imagined doing with Shannon once upon a time, but circumstances prevented them from happening. Or maybe they did happen and Eddie just hadn't been present enough to enjoy it. Either way, he craved another chance and when he pictured it now, he pictured Buck. It was way too early and probably unrealistic, but if one thing could go right for him, maybe other things could too.
Pepa came while they were playing on the pole, which was a disappointment and a relief. Eddie was glad that he would be able to put all his focus into the job, but he was sad to see his son go. It had been a good day, even though it started out so stressful. Eddie was just about to walk them out when he turned and gave Bobby a hug. He was so appreciative of what the man had done for him, even though he didn't have to care about his subordinates like that. Eddie left behind a family in Texas, but maybe he'd already found another one.
A few days later, Buck texted him to ask to help move Maddie to a new apartment. It felt kind of weird to go to Buck's possibly ex-girlfriend's apartment, but he pushed those feelings aside. Buck had helped him so much these past few days and he owed him a lot.
"This place is nice," Eddie said as he walked into the apartment. He was about to say he understood why Buck was still there, but that sounded too petty. It was for the woman, not the real estate. He looked around, searching for the things they needed to move. "Is your sister packed yet?"
"Actually, that's not what I called you here for," Buck said, smirking like he had a secret. "There's someone I want you to meet."
"Is it Abby?" Eddie asked hesitantly. If she was about to pop out of the bedroom and tell Eddie she and Buck were working things out, he was gonna be sick. He wouldn't be mad at Buck for deciding to stay with her, but this method of telling him would be hard to swallow.
"What? No! What?" Buck stammered, looking startled by the thought. Thank goodness. There was a knock at the door and Buck went to go answer it. Eddie hovered uncertainly in the living room until he heard the sound of Buck being greeted like an old friend. He walked into the kitchen, finding Buck being embraced by an older woman. Probably not an ex of Buck's, but he had heard Abby was older as well. "Eddie, I want you to meet Carla. She's a home health care aide and exactly who you need to help figure out the paperwork mess you're dealing with."
"Nice to meet you," Eddie said politely, shaking her hand. How had he survived this long without someone like Buck in his life? The guy always seemed like he knew how to help and if he didn't, he'd keep searching until he did.
They went into the living room and immediately got to work, laying out all of Eddie's options. Carla breezed through everything like the pro she was, showing him where to go to utilize every benefit he and Christopher were entitled to. She made it look so easy, even though Eddie was sure he'd probably take a year to figure out what Carla did in an hour. By the end of their talk, Eddie was set up with insurance and Carla was set to be the one to take care of Christopher. And if Buck said she could be trusted, Eddie trusted her. Carla left with a getting to know you meeting scheduled for the next day.
"I can't believe you," Eddie said as soon as they saw her out. Buck turned to him with a worried look on his face.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped. I was just thinking about what you were going through and I remembered Carla, since she helped take care of Abby's mom before she died," Buck explained, biting his lip.
"No, I mean I can't believe how amazing you are. Buck, I don't know how to begin to thank you," Eddie clarified. How Buck could ever think he wasn't appreciated was beyond him. Eddie would just have to keep showing him until he believed it.
"You don't have to do anything. I'm happy to help," Buck said bashfully. Eddie felt the urge to push Buck against the wall and kiss him until their lungs were screaming, but it was too soon for that. And they definitely weren't doing anything of the sort in this apartment.
"You really took it to heart when I said you can have my back. You're saving me left and right here."
"I'm sure you'd return the favor if I ever needed it. Too bad my life is perfect."
"Uh huh."
"Actually, there is one thing you can do for me."
"Name it."
"Never talk about yourself like you did on the phone with me." When Eddie looked at him in confusion, he continued. "The morning you brought Christopher to the station. You were saying how you weren't worth the effort. I didn't like that."
"Buck," Eddie mumbled, looking away in embarrassment.
"I'm not saying you can't have bad days. Hell, I have them too. I just- I really like you. And I don't let people talk bad about the people I care about, even if it's them talking about themselves," Buck said, reaching over and linking their hands together. He was so earnest that it made Eddie want to start blubbering like a baby. Or agreeing to anything he said. Eddie was really falling for this guy. "But if you do start feeling bad, call me. I don't care what time it is or what I'm doing."
"I'll try," Eddie promised. And he really meant it, even though he knew it was easier said than done. When you were constantly told what you were doing wrong most of your life, it was natural to get into the habit of being overly critical of yourself. And Eddie knew it was wrong, which is why he did everything he could to not say things like that in front of Christopher. Maybe if Buck held him accountable, he would learn to start giving himself grace.