*Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

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Where the Lines Overlap

Season 1 - Stuck on You

We all feel lost sometimes

I felt the mattress deepen by my side, but I couldn't make my eyes open. I was in such a comfortable and heavy slumber, I didn't want to wake up. My mind fought to keep me under the sleep haze, but I couldn't ignore the scent I knew too well and that was calling me to greet the warm feeling that, lately more than ever before, wrapped me up in joy when I was faced by his contagious smile.

"It's time to wake up sleepy head!" his voice found its way inside my ears. "Come on, Jazz! Open your eyes, I know you're awake."

As usual, I could only comply. He'd always had this strange power over me, I could never deny him anything. So, not sure why I kinda faked irritation far stronger than I felt, I opened my eyes and glared at him.

"Oh, let it go." He said in a mocking tone. "You're not mad, you're just grumpy 'cause I woke you a little earlier than usual."

"Good morning to you too, Cullen." I deliberately snapped, sitting on the mattress and leaning against the headboard while folding my arms across my chest. "Why the fuck are you disturbing my sleep so damn early?"

He started to laugh, the bastard. And as always, I couldn't ignore it. His laugh, as his smile, never failed to affect me, to make me laugh when he did, even if I was annoyed. I tried to remain serious, and I didn't know what he was laughing at, but I couldn't control it. I was simply too weak to fight it. So I was laughing along in seconds.

"You don't know how funny your face is when you pretend you're angry." He stated between chortles and my amusement started to fade. "It just... It's hilarious." He added, breathing hard because of all the laughter. "And besides that... You, swearing..." He laughed even more.

Confusion flooded my mind.

"What's so funny about my angry face? And what about my swearing?" I mimicked his tone in the end, not faking irritation anymore. I was pissed off. "What do you mean?"

Edward's laughter subsided, I think because he'd noticed my annoyed severe tone. He took a deep breath before running his left hand through his dark blond hair, he looked at me straight in the eyes, the way that always made me feel intimidated, and then he smiled softly.

"First of all, you're a terrible actor. I can always tell when you're pretending, you know that." He sighed and went on. "And you rarely curse." He shrugged.

"I always curse." I defied.

He smiled even more softly. "You never curse, Jazz." His voice was smooth but confident. I could never argue with him when he spoke to me that way like he knew what he was talking about. And he usually did. "Maybe inside this little crazy head of yours you do, but you hardly ever put it out."

And he was right, even though I would never admit it. I did swear a lot inside my head, but it was pretty rare for me to say "disrespectful" expressions around anyone. Mainly because my father raised me with a very strict discipline of what respect for others meant.

I frowned, unable to contradict him.

"It simply doesn't suit you, you know... Especially considering your babyface."

"My... Babyface?" Now I was practically hitting the roof. "I don't look like a baby!"

"Yeah, you do." He chuckled.

I curled my hands into fists, not comprehending why the fact that he saw me that way bothered me so much.

"That's just your big brother complex speaking." I spoke through clenched teeth. "You keep forgetting you're just two months older than me.

Edward got suddenly serious. I promptly knew I had hit a nerve.

"You're so naive..." He affirmed in a strange tone that I couldn't recognize.

And out of the blue, for no apparent reason, I was feeling self-conscious, and my cheeks were warming up like they always did when I was embarrassed.

I didn't understand why he said that, out of nowhere, and why I felt the way I did. And I definitely didn't know where the feeling came from, but I ducked my head and covered my face with my hands, pretending I was rubbing the sleep out of it. I didn't want him to notice I was disconcerted.

He started to laugh again.

Too fucking late.

"See? You always act so innocently." he said, clearly making fun of me once more. "You get shy so easily."

"Fuck off, Cullen!" I shouted as I pushed him. "If there's something I'm not is innocent or naive, and you know that damn well."

Edward laughed harder as he fell from my bed to the floor, clinging to his stomach as if his life depended on it. I stood up and went to my en-suite, deliberately ignoring him. I took a piss and washed my hands and face, brushed my teeth, and started the shower. All the while trying to shake the disturbing feeling that was unnerving me. A feeling that had accompanied me for some time till then...

As I was pulling my shirt over my head I felt his eyes on me, so I knew he was on the doorsill, but I chose to pretend I hadn't noticed him there.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you. I was just trying to be the first one to wish you happy birthday." The amusement was still tinting his voice. "And guarantee you would get to your party on time. Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry." But my voice said otherwise.

"Come on, Jazz, you know I can read you like a book, I can tell your mood with my eyes closed."

I was so focused on countering his words that I didn't really think. I unconsciously ignored the fact that I was stepping out of my sleep pants, which had just slid down my legs and pooled around my ankles, and automatically turned to him.

I was completely naked… But, well, Edward was my best friend, after all, we'd seen each other naked many times before since we were kids, so I didn't really see a problem. Actually, I didn't even think about it at that moment.

"So how am I right now, Cullen?" I tried to sound intimidating, but I actually resembled a bratty child.

Edward's grayish-blue almond eyes were suddenly huge. His expression became perplexed and his face was immediately getting red. He didn't say anything as he scanned my body as if he had never seen it before, but his posture changed abruptly as he moved away from the door jamb, where he had been leaning, and stood upright, seeming rigid and tense.

And so just then, standing completely bare and sporting a "slowly-softening" morning erection in front of my best friend, I realized that we hadn't been naked around each other since we were pre-teens...

The self-consciousness from before came back in full force, and the air got caught up in my throat. Reflexively I covered my penis with both my hands and hunched my shoulders in a defensive posture.

"Sorry." Edward murmured without meeting my gaze.

He turned away faster than I could follow and left the bathroom without another word.

I didn't know what the hell had happened, and I couldn't go after him since I was stuck to the spot, paralyzed. I didn't know what I was feeling... It was something between confusion, embarrassment, and... Satisfaction?!

Why the hell am I feeling contentment?!

I took a deep breath, confused as I had never been before, and slowly, almost numbly, I stepped inside the shower with a distressing feeling in the pit of my stomach and Edward's face at the forefront of my mind. As I washed my hair I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how my relationship with him had been lately.

Things between us had been different. And getting increasingly different with each passing moment. The problem was, I didn't know exactly what was different, or why. For months I couldn't precise, I had been feeling this strange aura whenever we were around each other, like there was something hidden, untold, almost forbidden between us, but I couldn't pinpoint it. And I wasn't sure if he could notice this as I did, either. He was being weirdly careful, often walking on eggshells around me… But I didn't know whether this was just a reaction to my odd behavior or something else entirely.

Edward and I had grown up together. Our mothers were like sisters, they knew each other from school and had never been apart. So becoming best friends had been pretty natural for us since our mothers were so connected. And we were. The best of friends anyone could ever be. We knew everything about one another, we supported and trusted the other as no one else could and we shared every little thing.

But this connection between us had been a little strained, at least in my perception. He was kind of hesitant lately, frequently seeming like he wanted to say or ask something but never did. And I was too aware of him all the time, too conscious of his presence, gestures, words, and even his intonation when speaking. I was even foreseeing some of his reactions and attitudes. It was distressing.

Of course, I knew him better than anybody, but it wasn't just that… It was like… Like I could notice every single detail. Things I wouldn't have noticed before had been simply popping up before my eyes, constantly, almost forcing me to pay attention, really close attention to him. And it made me feel weird and uncomfortable all the time, and that was why I had been acting so diffident around him.

I turned the shower off and sighed. At that point, the most intriguing part wasn't even my intense awareness of him. It was the feelings it provoked in me…

With each smile or look from Edward, the changes in his tone as he spoke or the way he gesticulated, whenever he neared or touched me, with even the minor things I would become suddenly uneasy and couldn't figure out a way to act normal.

I wrapped the towel around my hips and looked at myself in the mirror.

I was turning eighteen that day, finally reaching Edward's age. I was happy to realize I was totally different from the skinny boy I had been my whole life. I was so proud I was taller (even though I was two inches far from Edward's 6'5", which was my dream height), my body was stronger, and my muscles were defined due to the often basketball practices and needed workouts I was submitted to. My wavy hair was longer, my bangs constantly covered my light green eyes, and the golden shade in its light brown strands was way shinier. My face seemed more mature with its square chin and stubble. I thought I looked good, handsome even, but something kept making me feel insecure all the time and I didn't know what it was...

Of course, the way my best friend saw me was a factor I couldn't deny... Just another one I was failing to understand. I kept asking myself why Edward's opinion on my appearance bothered me so much, why his thinking I looked like an innocent baby would make me unsure and displeased, but I couldn't figure it out...

After combing my hair, I left the bathroom still distracted. It felt weird when I noticed that Edward wasn't anywhere in my room. I got dressed, put on my shoes, and left for the kitchen, knowing pretty well he would be there having breakfast with my family, like on each and every one of my birthdays.

"Happy birthday, Jayjay!" My mother greeted me with her content smile, coming to me with open arms.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her, breathing in one of my favorite scents on earth.

"Thanks, Momma." I murmured when we stepped away from each other.

So I entered the kitchen properly and was almost knocked out by my eager and extra outgoing sister, Rosalie, who threw herself on me as soon as I was near enough.

"Happy b-day, big bro!" she screeched as I held her, laughing a little at her spontaneous demeanor.

I put her on the floor and accepted my father's hand, stretched out before me, as Rosie was sitting back on her chair.

"Happy birthday, Alexander." My father used my so-hated middle name.

He knew damn well how much it irritated me, but he simply didn't care. He'd always said it was just habit, after all, he'd called me like that my whole life so he didn't have to use his name (that I inherited) to call me. The thing was, I had so many family nicknames, he could choose any of them. But no. He had to call me by that horrendous name...

"Thank you, father."

And then, in a split second, I was all over the place again. Jasper Senior (that's how I called him behind his back) went back to his seat on the corner of the kitchen counter, and Edward, who had been behind him waiting for his turn to greet me properly, opened his arms and came up to me, as naturally as on any other day, as if he hadn't ogled me in my bathroom minutes before.

I hugged him back, sure. But my hands were discreetly trembling and my heart was beating fast all of a sudden.

"Happy birthday, Jazz." He said in his mocking tone, pushing me away just a little. "You've finally reached me." He finished with his trade crooked (and deadly) smile.

I pretended I wasn't deeply affected by the natural luminosity of his grayish-blue eyes (that were intently focused on my face) or by his proximity (that made him seem so much taller than he already was and left me feeling like I was a mouse, cornered between a mousetrap and a solid wall). So I playfully punched his shoulder, making him back away, and pulled the nearest chair. He sat next to me, acting as cool as usual, while I was, once again, trying hard to be my regular self.

"So, tell me where you boys are heading to." My father demanded, very much as he would do with his cadets in the military academy.

"To the lake with some friends, Major." Edward answered casually.

He'd never been intimidated by my father like I was. It had to do with his confident personality.

"So you're taking the road." My father commented in a dissatisfied tone.

"Can I go?" Rosie asked in her anxious tone, looking at our father.

"Only if Edward is driving. " He stated, looking straight at my best friend.

Edward looked at me with raised brows and silently made a question to which he knew the answer too well.

I could drive. I could drive pretty well, actually. I was used to driving every day to school and to work. But my father didn't think I was a good driver, even though he had never taken a ride with me. Actually, he didn't think I was good at anything, truth be told. And he didn't appreciate it much when people (meaning me) disregarded his advice. So, I lowered my eyes and looked at my cup before me, and sighed.

Edward understood my answer as I knew he would.

"I am, sir." He gave the answer my father expected.

"Good. So Rosie can go." The Major exhaled. "Alexander still needs to get his driving abilities improved." He said in his harsh tone. "As he needs to rethink his future career choice and adequate himself in something more feasible." He added with his eternal skepticism. "I trust you to help him with that, Edward."

Again with that...

Jasper Senior disagreed with my wanting to be a doctor. My plans to apply for pre-med in college, and go for medical school after that, were impossible dreams in his opinion. I wouldn't even be going to Rhode Island if it wasn't for my athletic scholarship. He'd been loud and clear about wasting his money on an expensive college for me to try out something I wasn't able to accomplish.

I knew it would be hard, I wasn't a genius like Edward but, I was willing to make all the necessary effort and go all the way till I became a doctor. It was what I wanted. But the thing was, my father didn't think I was intelligent enough. And of course, he had my average school grades to use as an argument.

I wasn't changing my mind, though. I'd gotten my full-ride scholarship on my own, by my lone effort. And it didn't matter if I got it because of basketball.

"I will, sir. I'll help him follow through with his plans of becoming a doctor." I heard Edward defending me. He was aware of my father's disbelief in my capability. "I'm just not sure he needs my help since he got his chance all by himself…"

I smiled discreetly, enjoying the subtle way he would always argue with my father in my defense.

"He got his chance through basketball." My father huffed and turned his eyes to me. "It will be needed much more brains for becoming a doctor than some tricks and average skills with a ball. He will have a better chance in life if he chooses a more suitable profession for him." His stare was, as usual, very disapproving.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, controlling the bubbling anger that was immediately running through me.

Once more he was attesting his impression of me. He thought I was dumb, big news!

Normally I wouldn't let my father spoil my birthday with his frequent depreciative remarks since I was so used to those, but it really upset me to have him doubting me so openly, in front of Edward, and on my last birthday at home before going to college, no less.

My hands became fists, and I hid them on my lap under the table.

I couldn't wait to be far away from him, free from his constant endless scorn.

I took a deep breath to contain the anger. And that was the moment I felt the touch that changed everything...

It was soft and caring…

I opened my eyes and looked discreetly at my clenched hand over my thigh. I almost smiled as I recognized the other hand over mine.

Edward's gesture warmed my hand, even though his palm felt a little cold, but mainly it warmed my heart...

However, I froze… Because it promptly made me feel even more confused about the changes in our relationship than I'd been before.

I certainly knew the reason I was feeling immediately secure and... Happy… It was my best friend there, trying to calm me down... But that wasn't all I was feeling… And what I was actually feeling worked as a trigger, as if a light bulb had turned on inside my head.

The sudden understanding tormented me completely, it paralyzed me.

I couldn't move… And actually… I truly didn't want to.

I simply didn't want Edward to take his hand away from mine, so much so that I couldn't even look away from it. I was disturbed by the feelings that were possessing me, bewildered by the eagerness that was spreading fast inside, coming from deep within me without warning… But at the same time, I just didn't care. All I wanted at that very moment was for him to keep holding my hand…

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like unclenching my fist and holding his hand back? I thought in sheer distress.

Sooner than I expected, though, Edward squeezed it and let go.

I felt strangely empty. I immediately missed his touch and the energy it left in its wake...

And then I was feeling dizzy. I knew my family was talking, I could differentiate my mother's voice from Rosie's, and identify my father's severe tone mingling with Edward's steady one, but all I could truly hear was this nauseating buzz that was deafening me.

I tried to shake off the sensations still running through me, but they were really strong. I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on something, but it didn't matter, whatever I did wouldn't make things different… I couldn't ignore what was boiling inside me. And then I was feeling so unsettled that I couldn't bear to remain sitting. So, In an abrupt move, I stood up and hurried to the backyard, definitely not worrying if anybody would notice my weird behavior.

As soon as the screen door closed behind me, my hands were on my knees, and I was bent over myself breathing heavily.

I couldn't believe it… My mind was reeling.

Am I into...?

No!

Something else is happening… I can't be… feeling attracted to Edward. Can I?

Am I?!

But I am straight! I like girls, I love hooking up with girls, and I am really good at it! How can I...?

No. I am not. Something else is happening to me. I can't have this kind of feeling for… A guy.

I shook my head and bit my bottom lip, my eyes randomly roaming around with no aim.

The fucked up part was... I did have those emotions swimming inside me.

I couldn't deny I felt and was still feeling the need, the longing… I couldn't ignore how satisfaction had spread through me earlier that day, in my bathroom, when Edward was staring at me, scanning my body… Neither could I deny that just minutes before, when he was touching my hand, I felt joy burst in my chest, making me feel so secure that, for a split second, I didn't really care about anything else…

I was in turmoil but it made total sense. It finally made sense...

The acute awareness of his presence, the feelings that constantly flooded me whenever he was around lately, the way he had always affected me so much, even more the last few months...

I wanted him… I wanted… My best friend and he was… A guy.

I held my head in total despair.

I am into Edward?! The thought exploded in my mind.

I was… I was into him.

How the hell did this happen?

"Are you OK?" His voice startled me and I turned around in a haste.

"Jesus, Edward!" I huffed as recovering from the jolt, my hand trembling over my chest.

For a moment he just looked at me, cautiously, and his eyes were so gentle while he studied my stance that it made me uncomfortable. But then he furrowed his brows.

"What's wrong with you, Jazz? You're acting strangely." He said with his kind voice, coming up to me with clear concern in his expression.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, trying to calm down a bit.

Why his voice suddenly seems the best thing I could possibly hear?

When I opened my eyes again Edward was close, and my hands started to sweat. He raised his brows, waiting for my answer.

"I'm not acting strangely…" My voice faltered as I shrugged and averted my eyes from his piercing stare.

Can he read on them the way I'm feeling? I asked myself.

And the questions just kept coming up in my mind…

I wondered if he could tell I was nervous just because he was only a few inches from me... If he could see that, out of nowhere, this unknown eagerness was making me itch to stretch my arms and pull him closer...

"You are. You're... Jumpy." He said in a cautious tone, ripping me out of my disturbing musings and inciting me to look at him. "And I'm not talking about that with your father in there…" He pointed to the house with his thumb above his shoulder. "I'm not even talking about today... You've been like this for some time now… You're just… I don't know..." He shook his head.

"I am not jumpy, Edward." It was not my intention, but my tone came out a little rude.

"Really?" He asked pointedly, raising one of his perfect eyebrows.

"Really." I replied harshly.

He shook his head.

"This isn't you." He said calmly.

"This is me. You're seeing things that are not there. I'm fine."

He got closer and my heart immediately accelerated.

"I don't buy it. You know you can't fool me." Suddenly he was dead serious. "You're not uptight, and you've never been this touchy before. Something's wrong and you're not telling me. Why?"

Edward was exactly in front of me, his fierce eyes boring into me as both his hands rested on his hips, his shoulders upright in a very intimidating stance. He was towering over me because he knew this attitude would make me cave, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell him what I was thinking… It was crazy!

I was crazy.

So crazy I was yearning for him to get even closer…

What the hell?!

I looked away from his demanding gaze before I did what I always did... Giving him what he wanted, which was an answer I couldn't provide, and maybe even more, like a hint about my newly found desire for him.

"There's nothing going on." My voice was as weak as I felt. "I just… I can't put up with any of that anymore." I said gesticulating at the house before turning my back to him.

I wasn't lying. Of course, I wasn't the way I was at that moment because of my father's demeanor, even though it really was getting to a point I couldn't bear to be in the same room as him anymore, but it was a good and truthful excuse to use. Edward knew how my father's severe attitude affected me in so many ways. I knew that using that would make him back off and cut me some slack.

Soon his hands were on my shoulders, and I knew he was trying to give me some support, but the urge I had felt just seconds before struck me again.

Automatically, and unwillingly, I pulled away from him not very subtly, reacting badly to everything I was feeling and thinking. I was overwhelmed and pretty confused, to say the least.

"Okay." He sighed.

I heard the tenuous sadness in his tone and it hurt me. But I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even think straight, which was such an irony…

"You know I'll be right here when you're ready." He exhaled heavily. "Just remember that there's nothing you can't tell me."

I closed my eyes, wondering if he had any notion of what he was saying because there was no way he would be okay hearing what was passing through my mind at that moment.

I felt when he started to go back to the house, a weird void taking over as his presence faded, but I didn't turn back.

"Don't take too long or we'll be late." He said before I heard the door close.

I was so fucked…