AU Pride and Prejudice

Fan Fiction

Previously

Eighth notes instead of simple quarter notes were played. Runs where none had been expected were heard. And unexpected time change and so on stunned Kitty's small audience. Yes, there were mistakes, but they were not noticed much thanks to help from Mrs. Bennet. And by the time Kitty was done, there was enthusiastic clapping…the loudest being Mary.

Blindsided

Mr. and Mrs. Collins Visit

Ch. 14

"These things are the bane of my very existence." Mr. Bennet grumbled as he struggled with the tie. "Whoever devised these things should be strangled by their own invention, or dragged with one behind their own horse, or better yet their own carriage. And this crazy knot should be blasted to smithereens."

"Now, now, Mr. Bennet, do not be overly dramatic. You have such a lovely neck; it would be such a pity to see it ruined." Emmaline approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist and offered to help him with the tie.

"I was not serious, tempting as it might be." Mr. Bennet chuckled. "I do not see why we have to dress up so much. The Lucas' act as if they never leave a portrait. I sometimes wonder if they have only one suit and one gown."

"Because they invited us, and you agreed." Emmaline took the tie and swiftly fixed it in its proper place.

"Do not remind me." Mr. Bennet tilted his head slightly as his wife adjusted his tie.

"There..." She tapped the tie while looking at him with a smile on her face. "You look quite dashing this morning. Perhaps, you should wear a suit more often." She kept her hand on his tie with a glint of amusement in her eyes knowing how much he detested the garments but did not resist joking around.

"Do not get used to it; I still think this invention should be destroyed. I only wear them when I must." He might have said something else, but Mary knocked on their door, letting them know Mr. and Mrs. Collins were downstairs.

"What are they here for?" Mr. Bennet scowled. "Did he bring his wife and newborn son to gloat? To check out the place as if I were already in the cold hard ground?"

"My dear Mr. Bennet, from what the girls have told me, I understand your cynicism when it comes to your cousin. Nonetheless, he is not here to gloat or to mock your situation. I invited them over because I wished to see their newborn child before going over to the Lucas'. There will be so many people there. You know how I am with crowds. Her husband may not use his brains much, but if I were she, I would want others to share in my joy. And so...even if he is here to gloat, Mrs. Collins is not. Let us not embarrass her."

"Do you have to be right?" Mr. Bennet kissed the top of her head and the couple headed downstairs.

Mrs. Bennet could not decide whether Mr. Collins was sitting with a board shoved down his back, or Mrs. Collins had simply used too much starch in his clothes. Whatever the case, the man hardly moved; the nod of his head, the shake of his hand gave her the urge to look around for a pail of lard. However, she simply sat and admired the baby.

"He is quite handsome. What are you going to name him?"

"William Lewis Collins." Charlotte's response surprised no one, as the middle name was the same as Lady Catherine's late husband.

Mr. Collins, who should have known better, spoke up about Mr. Bennet's marriage and what he thought of the man's ability to sire children. "I am pleased to see you in good health. I am happy to have received the invitation to your home. It has always been an elegant home and your new bride has kept up its splendor. However..." William's cousin braced himself, whatever was going to come out of that vicar's mouth would likely be better left unsaid. "I must say, while I admire your choice and resolution in remarrying, there is quite an age difference between yourself and your wife. You have no sons. Is it, perhaps, possible..." Mr. Collins spoke slowly as if he thought Mr. Bennet were a child that needed to be handled with a pair of soft gloves. "that you have been too careless, merry, or even too playful to consider the consequences? Or maybe, even perchance, too benevolent to care about the opinions of others? For who will take care of your daughters or wife when you meet your demise? I mean no insult, I am only showing my most genuine concern."

"Mr. Collins..." Mary spoke up before either her father or Mrs. Bennet had the chance to speak up, bag any private feelings she was having, Mr. Collins needed to be told off. "You are the most ignorant and foolish man this family has ever met. It is not your place to speak of such matters, nor do you have the right to question whether or not my father has the ability to sire children or not. Nor do you have any right to imply that he is too careless or benevolent to care about the opinions of those around him."

"Miss Bennet..." Mr. Collins started speaking only to have Mary take on the tone of her father when mad and push ahead as the new Mrs. Bennet had been known to do when upset.

"And you, of all people, should know better than to speak such nonsense in front of those who are known to be respectable. You should also know better than to judge my mother's condition or to suggest that she is unworthy of my father's affection or worse, that he is incapable of showing it. She is a dear sweet lady and is dong her best to be a wonderful mother to children who she did not give birth to. So please, Mr. Collins, refrain from making such remarks in the future, or you will find yourself in trouble with me and my sisters."

Mrs. Bennet did not know whether to be horrified or embarrassed. How had Mary known? She had not even told Mr. Bennet yet. Yes, she was suspecting there was a baby on the way, had for a few days, but had planned on waiting until they came back from the Lucas' to say anything so as not to take away from Mrs. Collins' special day.

Mrs. Collins -who was one of the few who had not deemed it necessary to vest a full-grown man on his decisions in life- was mortified that her husband had spoken as he had. Mr. Bennet was a full-grown man. No one had a right to speak to him like that. Good heavens, everyone else had backed off, why had her husband seen the need to speak up now? And, as to what Mary had just thrown out? There was no way Charlotte was going to repeat it. No, by the look on Mrs. Bennet's face, it was news that the poor lady had intended to keep inside their home a little longer for even Mr. Bennet was speaking nothing on the subject. So, if her husband was too clueless to pick up on the unintended announcement; Mrs. Collins was keeping her mouth closed.

Mr. Bennet might not have addressed Mary's rant, but he did stand up. "I think you need to leave. We will go to your parents' home out of courtesy, but we will not stay as long as originally planned." His voice was kind enough to her, but his eyes were ice-cold towards Mr. Collins. It was only when they were gone that he stepped back into the parlor and insisted on being told what Mary's rant had been all about.

"Since when were you expecting? And, if we are, when did you plan on telling me?" Mr. Bennet looked upon his wife, appearing to be confused and a bit hurt at not being told first.

"I was not certain until this morning. I was going to tell you when we came home." Mrs. Bennet faced Mary, her eyes twisting in just as much confusion as her husband's. "When did you start to think I was with child when I have just decided that fact for myself."

"I recalled my own mother talking about being extremely fatigued, feeling ill always in the morning when she was referring to carrying her children, and the other day I noticed you jerked back when I went by you and accidentally brushed up against your breasts. It was not that hard of a hit; so I figured you must be expecting but simply were waiting to tell Kitty and me that Father knew."

"No, no, I did not." Mr. Bennet grinned wide and then started laughing hard.

"What is so funny about having a baby? Especially if it is a son."

"My dear, no matter what we have; daughter or son; I would still laugh."

"Why?"

"First of all, I should have been the first to notice those things before Mary." Mr Thomas continued laughing as his shoulders and chest shook. "But I have been so oblivious to your condition that I did not notice at first the irony of Mr Collins' remarks. He had the audacity to imply that I was too old to sire any more children when in fact you are carrying our child. I find that absolutely amusing; how it is that he could be so mistaken and presumptuous in my own house! But do not worry, my love; I am very happy for you and for our family."

"So am I." Mrs Bennet then asked Mary not to say anything to Kitty when she returned from Jane's the following week from visiting friends with a far more reliable chaperone than Lydia ever had. "I would prefer we all be together when she is told."

"Yes, Mother." Mary's change of what she called her father's new wife made her father's face shine as much s it did Emmaline's.