Hi ! This is the first chapter of what is supposed to be a new multi-chapters story. I just hope I will have the courage to finish it this year. My sincere apologies if I don't.
He was sleeping, with his headphones on, head buried into the crook of his arms, completely covered and invisible to his guildmates as the train religiously followed on its distinct clikety clack. She was trying not to stare, but from the opposite seat beside the window it was quite difficult to keep him out of vision. Or so she justified herself inside, even if none of the others seemed to have noticed she had been eyeing him like a small cat on its prey. Obsessed. Hesitant.
Talking to him had been difficult. Between the three months of intense training and their unexpected depart for the Grand Magic Games as the secret but still official second team, it had proved itself impossible to get him alone in a room. And she tried. Many times. Or so she made excuses for herself.
His teammates had been haunting around him the whole time, so she couldn't possibly make a move. Even if once he had been alone, but then she completely blanked about what excuse to use to drag him into the storage room, so she chose to retreat and abort the mission. Another time, she actually had him alone, inside the master's very small office, and she could see in his eyes that he was waiting for something. Some acknowledgment. Some meaningful talk.
But then, Erza had walked in.
And even she seemed sorry she did. Because she knew, and she desperately wanted to help. And Mira thanked her for that. For being her friend. Even if at the moment she felt more like slamming her head into the desk.
So they hadn't talked.
Now they were going to work as a team. For a very public and probably goofy fighting event. She had to concentrate to keep her fingers from trembling. She hated fighting at public events. She hated fighting in public. Always did, even as a rowdy teen she only did it to gain the respect from her peers, or so she said, but she always blushed inside and very much outside when the rowding was over. She hated people seeing her magic. Because they always mistook her for it. And that was just wrong. Just because the others made it their whole personality, didn't mean she couldn't be a more complex character.
At least she hoped. But the master had made it pretty clear she was expected to participate in the event and could no longer make excuses for herself to stay in the background. He had chosen a real team for the first team, but just in case the individual forces mattered most, there was to be a second, with all of the strongest mages left. Maybe he was also hoping it would help her to finally get over the trauma.
But they hadn't talked. And now they were going team up in front of everyone. Not just the whole guild, but the whole country. And if that wasn't enough for her to feel the heat going straight for her cheeks, they hadn't talked. And they were mad. At least, she was mad. Absolutely revolted by the things he had done, and the way he had randomly come back to save the day, as if nothing happened, as if everything could be forgotten just because he showed up when they desperately needed him to.
Because it didn't work like that, did it ?
She knew why she was angry, but she still couldn't figure out why he seemed so. What did he have to be mad at her ? What did he have against her that they hadn't already fought about in the last two years ? He couldn't say she was weak and a coward anymore because she had slammed his strongest teammate flat into the ground when he tried to hurt her brother, and even convinced him to quit this whole ridiculous fight.
Because that was her new thing now, giving people the choice to recognise her superiority and quit before she actually beat them. It was more merciful than before. A nice compromise. Or so she justified herself.
And he certainly couldn't say that it was only a one time thing, because he knew she had been an inspector the trials, and that she had fought against the dark guild that attacked them. Even if she had lost. He was right on one point though. She was weak now, since it only took her siblings' presence to have her capabilities shrunken. Evergreen proved it. Azuma proved it. And she seriously had to change that. Because if she couldn't protect them with her magic, then what was truly the point of having it ?
She tried to work on it during her training. Tried to ignore their presence. Tried to fight against them but she still restrained herself, even if Elfman had been begging her to go harder. Because he wanted to become stronger. Stronger to get the S-class title next time, stronger than Natsu, Gray, Cana and all the others. And now that Laxus was back, he would start to train Freed again. And he would fall behind without the strongest sparing partner. And that was just unfair. Because she was the strongest. At least to him.
She didn't realise he had woken up before she met his obscure gaze as he started sitting up. He had seemed in a bad shape ever since he stepped up on the train. He would never admit it if she asked, especially not in front of the others, but she was still certain he was also suffering from some kind of motion sickness. Just like Natsu. And apparently Gajeel, completely sprawled out on his seat, paler than ever before. That was okay. She would never tell a soul anyway.
She tried to ignore the look he gave her. She got so lost into her thoughts, she probably deserved it anyway. Probably stared him down like the worst serial killer. He seemed more puzzled than angry. Maybe that was a good thing. She tried to make herself more together. More absent. Like she didn't care. But still cold so he would know she was angry. But not too distant, or Juvia, or Gajeel, or god forbid Jellal would catch on and start asking questions.
So she had to be normal. But still cold. But her normal was warm and bubbly. But warm and cold was just normal, so just bubbly. But would he get it if she was just bubbly, or would he think that she was acting like she would with anyone else ? But certainly he couldn't think she was going to be all not angry at him after everything that happened ? He couldn't be that dense, could he ? Well, he was a man. Or maybe that was sexist, but maybe that was okay because he was a man. Or maybe it wasn't.
She got so caught up once again, it took her an embarrassing time to realise they were at a halt in the Capital and going down the train to get to their inn before the games began the next day. He must have realised she was weird because he frowned and waited just a little bit for her before jumping to the exit.
The sun was incredibly bright that day, she went a bit blind when she stepped outside. And he was still looking at her, but just from the corner of his eye. Still frowning though, but normal frowning. Or maybe that was just his eyebrows. They did have a very arched shape. Compared to hers anyway.
She couldn't remember the last time she had visited the big city. That was a way of speech, she did remember, quite clearly even, but it seemed so long ago, it almost seemed like another era. Even if it was just two years prior. Well, nine. Before that cursed job got her working a lot closer to home. She even remembered him.
She had been looking for him.
She was a good stalker. Of course, he went to the town for the job, but then, he could disappear for days, weeks sometimes. He didn't come back straight and wondered across the country to meet god knows who. Even when he was at home he didn't stay long, tried to make an act of presence and had a fight with his grandfather before taking a job again, and disappearing.
And it worried her. Even if she would never admit it.
So she would go looking for him, after her own job of course. Always managed to get a look at his request, sometimes memorised the town from all the S-class ones so she could find him. She knew his favourite spots anyway. So she just did them in the order she would if she was coming back from that exact town. And she always found him. Always. He was as predictable as a pattern anyway. At least, when he didn't fight.
She found him in a poker hangout this time.
The bouncer almost didn't let her enter though. Her being a minor and everything. But by her angry look and very angry boots, he didn't bother asking for her Id. Only frowned and asked if she was over eighteen. To which she lied of course. That was okay. It was only one year.
The whole building reeked of tobacco when she entered. With the smoke and the music, she almost thought she wouldn't be able to see him in all this mess. But she didn't need to see him. She could feel him. His magic. It was slow and heavy, and she could always tell when he was in the same room. He said it was because he was extremely strong. She said it was because she was extremely talented.
She could feel him across the room. So she went straight, ignored all the gawks and disgusting stares on her exposed skin. The dress was probably one of the sluttiest thing she had ever worn. Lots of black und purple leather and corset-like laces, very short also, even if she was wearing shorts under it, just in case she had to fight. But it was worth it. It gave her just the right confidence to get down those stairs straight ahead to his table.
He almost choked on his drink when he noticed her in front of him. Weird, he usually caught on her presence way earlier. But he didn't show it. She only noticed because he gulped very hard, and that was also not usual. So she smirked, because he was drunk and she could see that his pupils were already firing up looking at her atire and those boots that had just enough square heel to put her to his chin, but enough leather and laces to start a boundage club. She then saw him fuming because he knew it was amusing to her, and he just realised how many heads he would have to break if it turned out she hadn't put on her shorts this time.
But he didn't show anything, no more than he could control anyway. He only smirked a lot and gave a sign of the head to the guy in front of him so he would give her his place. And he did. One of the perks of the very short leather dress.
He was pretty, as always, to her very sick eyes at least. She couldn't help staring at him, which was downright embarrassing because she knew he could feel her gaze on his forehead, even if he masterly avoided any kind of eye contact. His hair was just the good amount of ruffled to make her have to swallow that saliva, and he had just started wearing those shirts that made him seem all proper even when it was so lazily ironed and just buttoned enough to make her dread her decision to come. At least, she knew that, no matter how many times she told herself that the more an asshole he became, the more likely it became that she would eventually stop lusting after him, it was still not enough. Maybe the guild could take one for the team.
They didn't talk at first, just played a few hands before he began speaking.
« What are you doing here, little demon ? »
She scoffed. Because she didn't like that nickname. Or maybe she liked it too much. And she probably would slam the head of anyone who would dare call her liek that. Except him, because she couldn't, or maybe because it just sounded different in his mouth. Or maybe that was just her very sick ears.
« Just felt like playing. » She replied with that little nice voice. She was getting very good at that voice. He still managed to hear though, even over the very loud music banging in the background.
He knew she was lying. She had that smirk. There was absolutely no chance she had ended up here wearing that thing in this place without a pretty good reason. He knew she liked poker, but she also hated the smell of the smoke, even if she sometimes smoked herself. It was a whole thing. He knew she had come looking for him. Like all the other times she had randomly ended up exactly where he was without any good reason.
« I had a job not too far away. Got to pay the mortgage, you know. »
She was still murmuring, staring him down with those blue orbs that seemed more like daggers to him. He didn't bother answering to that one though. He certainly wasn't duped like the two losers losing all of their money at the same table. The one that had left surely thanked god he hadn't gone against her. She was merciless. But he certainly wasn't losing. Not with everything he had won before.
« Why didn't you come home in a while ? » She wasn't talking down anymore, her voice felt a lot more deep all of a sudden.
« I did. »
She shot a few daggers then.
« You know what I mean. » She was so serious.
He could see the vein pumping on her forehead and it amused him. The seriousness in her pupils so mocking every other time.
« You haven't been to the guild in almost a month. » Her voice was also trembling a little now.
He sighed. He was getting sick with her questions, and the accusations. Just because he didn't want to be like all those losers that treated his guild like a damn amusement park, and then dared saying it was their family or some other crap.
It was exhausting.
« Didn't have the energy to deal with the old man. » He sighed again and tried to hide the anger behind his cold and smirky stare. But she didn't let him, continued to stare him down with that horrible serious stare. If only her eyes weren't so deep. « What's it to you ? »
She didn't answer then. Only stared like his question was stupid, and indeed it was. Very stupid. Because if she were to disappear for a month, he would be looking for her too. Even if they were just friends, or something like that. He knew he would.
She sighed again, more angrily this time, more trembling. She got up, having taken enough money from their tablemates. So he got up also. Because he could feel it was growing into a fight and he didn't want to get kicked out of yet another bar because of her. Not like the time she had slammed a bottle onto a barmaid's head, which had later turned out to be the owner of the bar. Well maybe that was on him, because he had a tendency to flirt back when pretty bartenders made cute passes at him. Even if it was just to get more tip money out of him.
So he followed her as she went out. Ignored and refrained himself from deathstaring at each and every glare that dared to go up and down that one damn cloth that looked like a dress and definitely deserved to get burned. If only he wasn't so damn scared of hurting her forever if he dared to tear it apart himself. She didn't seem to care, though. She never did. Never showed it at the very least. Or not often. And certainly never in public.
« Why the cold shoulder all of a sudden ? » He smirked and tried to pester her as they walked to the hotel every Fairy Tail mage stayed in this shitty town that claimed to be a capital. The owner had a deal with the old man. An old friend or so he said. Not in the same room however. To his great dismay. Or his great relief. Now that he realised the length of her pajamas probably equaled her dress's.
« Because you're an asshole that only cares about himself. That's why. » She didn't even look at him but he could hear her stress each and every word, and it was difficult not to take it personally.
« Well, maybe you should accept that now, and stop trying to change me. » He still got very angry. Couldn't help it. « It would save us a lot of time, you know. »
She turned to face him then, in the hallway where their rooms both laid.
« Why won't you stop trying to pretend that this is who you are. »
« Because it is. »
He almost screamed that one. Well at least, spoke it very loudly. More like whispered it very high in the quiet hallway. If he cared just a single bit, he would have been worried to wake the other customers. But he didn't. He didn't have to scream though. He was so close to her, he barely had to take a step to touch her. And she wasn't walking away. Even if her eyes trembled and he could swear she wanted to cry. But she never would. Never in front of him. And his stomach instantly crawled.
« No, it's not. »
He would have sworn her voice was already crackled up with tears when she said that last one. But he was already unlocking his door. And when he tried to look behind him, he only saw her own door slamming. Not bothering not to wake all the other customers either. He would apologise in the morning. Not for what he had just said but for the screaming part. Or the angry whispering part. She wasn't the one he was angry at. He simply hated his grandfather and everyone of those losers that transformed his guild into a flying circus. Not her, he would never be angry at her.
If only she hadn't already gone away when he woke up.
When they arrived in the room they apparently shared, nobody even dared to say a word. The blonde fell onto the bed closest to the window, headphones still stuck in his ears, like he was ready to sleep some more. Which was weird because he usually chose the bed closest to the door when he was sleeping with other people. How she knew that, she would never admit. But she felt almost disappointed because she had planned to visit the city a little, and could have used some company, and a good occasion to talk face to face alone.
Jellal only excused himself to go outside, awfully quiet since this whole travel had begun, probably to join his guild and talk about his own goal that was worth pretending to be a member of theirs. Which was a shame, because she would have loved to learn more about the man that still had Erza completely obsessed with him since god knows when. She would have found it funny if her own situation wasn't already so damn ridiculous.
Juvia was awfully silent too. Getting her stuff on the bed in front of Laxus, and since Gajeel had already taken the one beside hers and Jellal the one in the corner, or put Mystogan's stuff on it, it meant that she had to take the one right next to Laxus. Great. That wasn't bothering her at all. After all, they had at least a whole meter between them, it wasn't bothering at all. She tried to smile nicely at her guildmate who started her long babbling about how she planned to find out where the other team was, and the restaurant she had reserved at to go with Gray. Adding to the long list of almost ridiculous obsessions Mirajane had to solve to understand how three of the strongest women in the country had gotten themselves into.
And how on earth, she had ended up as one of them.
When she was gone though, there were only them and Gajeel left, which reached a whole new level of awkward. For some reason, he had taken up babbling about the games and strategy as he called it, which basically sumed up to how they should let him take care of Natsu so that they could concentrate on taking out the other bigger fishes in the other guilds. Which was probably the weirdest part of it all, because she always took him to be one of the silent and broody ones. Or maybe he too could feel the horrible awkwardness to decide it was best to take the conversation into his own hands.
Which said a lot about her own trouble, because she was usually the one that lifted the atmosphere with her nonsense babbling.
She wasn't apparently the only one startled at that development because it turned out to be enough for Laxus to take his headphones off and gaze at her with the most puzzled and frowning look she had ever seen on him. Which made her chuckle, but she could only allow herself a bit if she didn't want to laugh at her guildmate's face, so she bit her lower lip to ensure she wouldn't.
It didn't seem to hide it though, because she could also hear him chuckle in her right ear, so she bit stronger, and still it proved enough for Gajeel to stop talking and blush at what was probably their incredibly amused faces. It was cute. In some very weird way, she would have said that he kind of looked like the blonde when his cheeks burned, but he didn't have eyebrows so it was way less funny. Or maybe it was just the stress they were both in.
« Screw you guys. » He finally yelled, going for the exit, probably to see the town with the others. « You're supposed to be the ones planning all that stuff anyway. » And then he slammed the door behind him.
And then, they were alone.
Maybe it had been his plan all along, waiting them out until they were all gone so they could finally talk. Alone. In the room they shared with the others, so nobody would bother them for at least a few hours. It was such a good and simple plan, she was almost ashamed she hadn't thought of it herself. Or maybe, he thought it had been her plan, and that was the reason she wasn't already out to go meet the master and her siblings. Maybe she should have thought of it sooner and went out before they ended up like that, because right now, her mind was blank.
What had she thought ? Being alone with him ? She hadn't the slightest clue what to say to him first. Or on which tone they were supposed to talk now.
« So ? » He asked, startling her, still nonchanantly laid out on his temporary bed. Glaring at her like she was supposed to know the answer, or whatever question it was supposed to be.
« So what ? » She had meant to use her nice voice, but it came out a lot deeper and agressive she had meant to be. She didn't do good on stress anymore. Maybe the whole competition thing wasn't that good of an idea.
« Do we have a plan ? »
She only blinked before she understood the conversation hadn't changed subjects like her mind did at least three times in the last hour.
« You mean for the games ? » It came out nice again, which was probably the weirdest switch she had ever done, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. Continued to stare at her, almost like he didn't remember that they had like a thousand other things to talk about. Or maybe that was just her.
« Well, I don't mean for dinner, I'm pretty sure the Thunder Legion already has it covered for me on that. » He looked back at his Sound Pod, even if he hadn't headphones on anymore, maybe just to avoid her anxious questioning gaze.
Dinner ? Well, not dinner apparently. God, what if her siblings had planned to go eat with the thunder legion ? They had a weird habit of hanging out with them since the trials. To her great relief, because it meant that she didn't have to find too many excuses to be the one to take his order, but also her great dismay because even with that, she still hadn't found out any way to drag him out alone.
Except now, but now she couldn't figure out a single way to start the conversation in a natural way. Or any way.
« Well, what kind of plan do you want to make ? » She tried to smile more peacefully but he seemed pretty obsessed with his screen.
« I don't know. » He seemed a bit taken aback at this one. Like he wasn't the one that had just asked the question. « Like, do you want to be the one to take Erza out when the time comes, or, do I have to do it ? »
Erza ? She chuckled a bit. On the one hand, because she had tried very hard to avoid that particular question and he had jumped right on it, on the other, because she had never really enjoyed hearing that name into his mouth. Because she was a bit stressed out, and ridiculously jealous, even if it took her years to admit it, when any other girl's name crossed his lips. So she just blushed.
« Oh. » She blushed even more and he started staring at her again. She didn't even have the reflex to keep herself from looking down so she was more staring at her sheets. And god, that was a stupid state to be in when he asked an even more good stupid question. « I… I don't even know if I could, I kind of skipped a lot of training, you know. » She was stammering now, and blushing even harder if that was possible. « Can't we just hope another guild will take care of that ? » She tried to smile naturally behind her blush but it certainly wasn't fooling him.
« Can we really ? » He chuckled at that one. And for some reason, that made her displeased blush deeper. Well she knew the reason. Because that terribly sounded like a compliment and she honestly couldn't handle any compliment from him about her. She just couldn't.
« Fine, I'll try. » She snapped a bit. Which only made him frown and smirk even harder. And she really hated him right now.
« You'll try ? » He infuriately insisted.
« I said I'll do it. » She tried not to snap too hard but as that must have felt harsher than she meant when she got up at the same time to gather the things she needed. She really needed some air. And Elfman and Lisanna were probably already waiting for her somewhere as they had planned to check on the first team only in the evening. And she was hungry. And in the worst state possible to handle any kind of useful conversation with him right now. And screw it, surely they were going to have plenty of other occasions to talk alone this week, now that they were supposed to hang out all day together.
She only heard him chuckle behind her as she was reaching for the door, probably a lot more red and distressed than she ever felt like explaining to anyone that would see her coming out of this room. Because she really didn't feel like explainingg why he was so infuriating. And clueless. Like how couldn't he see that she wanted to talk to him ? Why couldn't he try it himself instead of staring at her like she was the weird one ? And why on earth was she still so stupid ?
« Okay. Little demon. »
Screw him.
Thanks for reading ! Don't forget to leave a comment, can't explain how much energy it gives me to go on.