Hermione found herself at breakfast the next morning, dreading the prospect of Potions as the first class of the day. Her emotions were still in disarray, and the more she dwelled on it, the more embarrassed she felt. Aggressively stabbing at her scrambled eggs, she seethed with frustration, both at herself and at the enigmatic man who had delved into her personal life. Why must I be drawn to the most insufferable man in existence? Setting down her fork rather forcefully, she pushed the plate away and buried her face in her hands. With only twenty minutes before class, she felt completely out of sorts and unprepared to face her professor. Come on, Hermione. Just grit your teeth and do what you normally do. Reflecting on the conversation in her mind after Professor Snape departed did little to ease her discomfort. Despite her conviction that he was merely attempting to provoke her, a small part of her considered the possibility of confessing her feelings. However, she would prefer to scrub cauldrons for hours than intentionally disclose her sentiments.
Lifting her hands from her face, she noticed Ginny looking at her with concern. Attempting a fake smile, she knew it wasn't convincing. Rather than concocting another lie, she decided to change the subject preemptively. "Has Harry written to you since school started?" She hoped Ginny would take the bait, as discussing her feelings for Professor Snape was out of the question. Ginny wouldn't understand, and the idea of her confiding in Harry and Ron was unappealing.
Ginny grinned widely and replied, "Yes. He mentioned they're doing well with their first round of training. He also wanted me to tell you he received your letter the other day. Congratulations on being Head Girl, but he wants you to stay away from Draco."
Hermione frowned at Ginny's words. "He's not like that anymore. He's changed."
Ginny shrugged, saying, "I'm only relaying what Harry said in his letter. He doesn't want you to get hurt."
Rolling her eyes, Hermione crossed her arms defiantly. "I don't need Harry telling me who I can and can't be friends with."
Ginny laughed and said, "Well, when you see him over Winter Break, you can tell him that yourself. But for now, let's get ready for class." Ginny noticed the hint of panic in Hermione's eyes. "Is there something going on that I'm not aware of?"
Hermione quickly pushed away the panic that settled in her stomach. "Of course not. I'm just nervous about the next potion we might need to brew today." Hoping that would suffice, she saw the doubt lingering in Ginny's eyes. "Come on, we have ten minutes before class starts. Students are already leaving." Hermione stood up and grabbed her school bag, and Ginny reluctantly followed.
"You know if something is bothering you or someone, I can help you with that. I'm very good with a wand," Ginny added with a mischievous smile.
Hermione gave her a weak smile in return. "Ginny, I appreciate your concern, but I promise nothing is bothering me. I'm just really stressed with homework." She felt a pang of guilt at the lie that slipped through her lips.
Ginny, oblivious to the inner turmoil Hermione was experiencing, said, "Alright, Hermione, but just know that I am here whenever you need to talk."
Hermione acknowledged the statement as they walked in silence towards the dungeons. Upon entering the classroom, Ginny guided Hermione to a table at the back. While Hermione typically preferred being at the front, recent events in the common room had her grateful for the distance from her professor.
Hermione focused on organizing the parchment she might require for the upcoming lesson. Amidst her preparations, the door slammed shut, causing her to inhale sharply. Mentally bracing herself, she intended to meet the man she secretly admired with an air of indifference. However, when she finally raised her eyes from the table, she was taken aback to find him gazing directly at her. The pretense of indifference slipped away, revealing her desire for the dour man. Swiftly, she averted her gaze, unwilling to let him see the emotions bubbling to the surface. The word "coward" echoed in her ears.
While Professor Snape commenced his lecture, Hermione struggled to concentrate on the lesson. The sound of his voice made her feel things in her stomach. The last words he said to her kept playing on repeat in her mind. There's no way he would want me. This has to be a cruel joke. Frustrated with herself, she tightened her grip on the quill, writing furiously on the parchment. Realizing much too late that her grip was too strong, a loud snap resonated in the room. Startled, she glanced down to see that the quill in her hand had snapped in two. When she looked up from the broken quill, she was embarrassed to find that the whole class, including Professor Snape, locked eyes with her. Feeling a twinge of embarrassment, she muttered a swift apology and swiftly retrieved another one from her bag.
At last, the lecture portion of the lesson concluded, and the brewing phase commenced. Hermione took a moment to collect herself, feeling somewhat reassured by her internal pep talk. With a newfound sense of confidence, she began brewing with ease. As the class progressed, she remained unaware of Professor Snape's proximity. Her body tensed suddenly when she felt him lean over her shoulder to inspect her potion. His warm breath on her neck and the closeness of his body proved to be distracting.
"Time is ticking, Ms. Granger. It would be a shame if you were unsuccessful in proving yourself," he whispered, his voice just audible enough for her ears only. Noticing a subtle blush creeping onto her cheeks, he added, "I will be available this evening before curfew if you are brave enough." His tone carried a hint of danger. He swiftly moved to the next table, leaving Hermione to contemplate the unexpected encounter.
Hermione struggled to regain her composure, not wanting Ginny to suspect anything amiss. Once she had steadied herself, she redirected her attention to her brewing, determined to demonstrate that she could indeed prove herself.
As the class concluded, Hermione and Ginny proceeded to bottle up their potions. Allowing Ginny to go first, Hermione followed tentatively. When it was her turn, she found herself the last in line. Placing the potion delicately on his desk, her eyes briefly met his. Attempting to move towards her next class, she found his hand reaching out, firmly gripping her wrist. Realizing she was now alone with him, she swallowed nervously.
His eyes danced with mischievousness, daring her to react. "Next time, try not to disrupt my class," he teased. "You would think you know how to handle a quill by now."
She flushed at his words, unhappy with his constant need to torment her. Attempting to pull her wrist from his grip, she found his hold tightening only slightly. The longer he held her wrist the more she realized how much she liked the feeling of his hands on her. She envisioned his hands exploring other parts of her body. Attempting to suppress her reaction, she failed. Heat surged to her cheeks, and she was well aware that her professor noticed, judging by the slight upturn of his lips.
Neither of them spoke until Hermione remembered she had a class to get to and she was about to be late. Anger flashed in her eyes and the upturn of his lips turned into a full smirk. He was pleased that he could provoke her so easily. Eventually, he released her wrist, allowing her to leave.
When dinner arrived, Hermione sat with her head down, moving the food around her plate. Misery settled in her stomach as the memory of what transpired in Potions class earlier that day filled her mind. She weighed her options carefully. She could either spend the remainder of the school year ignoring her feelings, pretending everything was fine or she could summon the courage to approach him tonight. Her feelings and desires continued to grow the longer she thought of him, but her brain knew better. Her brain reminded her repeatedly that he was her professor and that it was forbidden to feel such things for him. She also knew that if her friends found out they wouldn't understand any of it.
Setting down her fork, she sighed loudly, the tension of it all frustrating her. Since their first encounter, she's been finding it difficult to do homework, speak to her friends, and sleep peacefully. It didn't help that he kept enticing her every step of the way. Even a simple potions lesson went awry.
"Hermione, this is the third evening in a row that you've barely eaten anything. What's going on?" Ginny asked with frustration. "And no, I don't want to hear it's bloody homework or some other bullshit excuse."
Hermione frowned at the redhead's words. She was not in the mood to talk to Ginny this evening. With a reluctant sigh, she realized there was no way out of this. Ginny was relentless, so she begrudgingly mumbled, "I like someone."
Ginny's eyes widened. "That's what got you so worked up?" She laughed, oblivious to Hermione's true dilemma. "Come on, Hermione. We've all liked someone at one time or another. I mean, I knew you liked my brother for a while, so why is this bothering you so much? Does he not like you back?"
Hermione flushed at her words, unsure how to respond. "I don't know," she replied quietly. "I guess I'm just finding it hard to muster the courage to admit it to him."
Ginny shook her head. "Hermione, I know how brilliant you are, but sometimes you can be completely oblivious. Don't you realize how beautiful you are? Anyone in this school would be lucky to be with you."
Hermione did not agree with Ginny's words. Memories of how Professor Snape had treated her throughout her schooling ran through her mind. The words "insufferable know-it-all" echoed in her ears, and before she knew it, tears stung the corners of her eyes.
Ginny hugged Hermione close to her. When she let go, she said confidently, "Hermione, do you plan on letting fear control the rest of your life? If you like this guy, then you should pursue it. I want to see you happy." Seeing Hermione smile at her words, she added hastily, "As long as it's not Malfoy."
Hermione felt a smile tug at her lips. "You're in luck. It is not Malfoy. Thanks, Gin. Maybe you're right."
After dinner, Hermione's legs moved on their own volition to the dungeons. Realizing she was outside the classroom, she tried to gain the confidence to knock but she was unsuccessful. She began to pace in front of the potions classroom trying to convince herself that Ginny was right. Five minutes had gone by with her ready to just leave and head back to the common room. She suddenly halted her pacing when the door opened on its own. Her face flushed crimson as Professor Snape stood at the entrance, observing her restlessness.
"I have heard you for the past five minutes. Now get inside," he ordered impatiently.
She allowed herself to step into the classroom. The door closed behind her, and he guided them to a painting along the wall. She heard him whisper a password, and the painting swung open, revealing a hidden room.
Before entering, he turned to Hermione and said, "If you have changed your mind, you may leave. If not, follow me."
Hermione hesitated only slightly, recalling Ginny's words. She followed her professor into the portrait hole. Once the painting closed, she was surprised to find herself in Professor Snape's living room. Her eyes briefly scanned the room, filled with numerous bookshelves holding heavy tomes. The seating arrangement featured black leather, including a lengthy couch and two armchairs. A mahogany table stood in front of the couch, bearing a small glass and a bottle of fire whiskey. In the center of the room was a giant unlit fireplace that she suspected to be a floo. After her eyes finished scanning the room, they met Professor Snape's, awaiting his guidance in his own place, not wanting to be rude.
Sensing her need for direction, he gestured toward the seating area and said, "You may sit down if you like."
Hermione's legs quickly moved towards the couch. Once she was seated, she was surprised to find that Professor Snape had followed her, taking a seat on the couch as well. Unable to help herself, she began to fidget. She didn't know what to say or do in this situation.
The silence only lasted a minute before Professor Snape spoke again. "I don't like repeating myself, so this will be the last time I ask this of you. What do you expect of me?"
She slowly digested his question. The fidgeting did not stop, but her confidence started to grow. He hasn't said anything rude yet. Maybe I could speak my mind. Her eyes rose from the floor surprised to see him so calm. Seeing him so calm, and not one look of annoyance, she bravely began to speak. Blushing, the only thing she managed to say was, "I don't want you to see me as just one of your students."
"Do you think I have allowed any of my students to see my living quarters?" he asked with a bored tone. "I think I have already proved that tonight."
She nodded slightly, agreeing that this was unusual for him. "You have to understand, sir, that this is new to me. I don't know how to proceed."
He grasped her understanding and, seizing control of the situation, spoke, "Well, let's start with this. Since we're not in class and we're in private, I don't think we need to continue with formalities. You can call me Severus if you like. May I call you Hermione?"
Hermione smiled warmly and replied, "I think I would like that, Severus." The name Severus felt foreign on her tongue, but she found herself enjoying it.
Severus leaned back on the couch, allowing himself to relax further. "Would you like some tea?" Seeing her nod, he called out, "Poppy!"
A small house elf, standing three feet tall with large, bat-like ears and round eyes, appeared. "You called, sir?" Poppy's timid voice filled the room.
"Poppy, I need you to get Hermione and me two cups of tea, along with any dessert you may have in the kitchen," he commanded.
Poppy bowed low and disapparated as quickly as it had appeared. In less than a minute, Poppy returned with two cups of tea, sugar, milk, and a plate of assorted cookies. "Anything else, sir?"
"No, Poppy. That will be all," he responded. With the elf gone, he fixed himself his tea and took a sip from the steaming cup.
Hermione, using the time to contemplate her next words, busied herself with making her tea to her liking and nibbling on one of the cookies.
Severus watched her closely, pleased to see that her fidgeting had stopped. "You know, I didn't think you would show up tonight," he stated, breaking the silence between them.
"I didn't think I would either," she replied honestly. "I don't know if you know this, but this is new territory for me. I have spent the last seven years burying myself in my schoolwork and obtaining any bit of knowledge that I can. I have pushed all thoughts of relationships and feelings aside for many years, so having them now has been quite unsettling for me." She set down her tea gently on the table, allowing herself to feel more comfortable in his presence. "I think without Draco and Ginny encouraging me, I would have continued to ignore my feelings."
"How many more quills would you have broken?" he asked with amusement. Suddenly hearing the name Ginny, his lips dropped and turned into a slight frown. "Did you tell Ms. Weasley?"
"Not really. I mean, I told her I liked someone and that I was nervous to pursue it. She told me that I shouldn't allow fear to control my life, so here I am," she responded. "She doesn't need to know who it is. I am determined to keep that a secret between the two of us until school is over." Her cheeks reddened at the thought of the whole school knowing that she had feelings for her professor. She also realized that she just admitted that she would be seeing him again.
He agreed wholeheartedly. "Yes, let us continue to keep this private. We don't need rumors to spread." His voice turned serious. "Besides, technically speaking, you may be an adult, Hermione, but it is still frowned upon for me to be seen with a student. I don't think Minerva would agree with it."
Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh god, if she knew she would never treat me the same."
Knowing there was no point in hiding this information, he said gently, "Hermione, Minerva already knows about your feelings for me. She was the one that told me about what happened at the Shrieking Shack." Seeing the slight panic begin to form, he quickly responded, "Now before you get upset, she does not know that I..." He bit his tongue sharply to stop himself from talking. He wasn't ready to disclose to her that he liked her too. Instead of concluding his thoughts, he picked up his teacup and took another sip.
Feeling slightly chilly due to the coldness of the dungeon and the approaching Fall weather, she pulled her robes tighter around her. Noticing her slight shivering, he drew out his wand and lit the fireplace in the room. The warmth of the fire quickly filled the space. Hermione, feeling touched by his actions, expressed her gratitude for his generosity.
A nagging reminder of essays piling up on her desk bothered her. She had four essays due soon, yet here she was doing nothing but studying. She had only written one page for Potions and two pages for Transfiguration, neglecting two other classes. She chewed her lip nervously, hating to be unprepared.
"Does your brilliant mind not think of anything else but work?" He chided softly with a shake of his head.
Hearing him call her brilliant surprised her. She knew she was brilliant, but his acknowledgment was unexpected. "I thought I was insolent," she muttered.
He smirked at her and said teasingly, "Only sometimes."
Her eyes narrowed slightly at him, but seeing the playful look in his eyes made her smile. "Was that a joke, Severus?"
Feeling more relaxed, she recalled his earlier question. She took a deep breath and said, "I don't know what I expect from you, honestly. Everything you've done in the past twenty-four hours has been quite unexpected as it is." Remembering the warmth of his body in Potions, she quickly averted her gaze, afraid he would read her mind. She didn't want to admit aloud that she longed to feel him that close to her again.
Feeling impatient with her nervousness, he growled, "Just say what you want already. I promise I won't do anything to make you feel bad."
Swallowing her nerves, she said bashfully, "I want to feel you close to me." She waited with bated breath, hoping that he was telling the truth, that he wouldn't belittle her. A few seconds passed, and she felt the couch start to move. Severus sat directly in the seat next to her, only a few inches away. Her eyes rose from the ground, elated to see that he had done what she asked.
A beat passed between the two of them before Severus boldly wrapped his arm around the young witch's shoulder. He waited for her to react. Hermione, surprised but not disappointed, snuggled into his chest, allowing him to hold her close. As she was held tightly against him, her nose picked up the faint scent of herbs and parchment.
A comforting silence filled the room as Severus continued to embrace her. He relished the feeling of her against him. It had been a long time since he had held a woman in his arms, and he found himself overwhelmed by it. He couldn't believe that someone like her would want to be with someone as undeserving as himself.
Unaware of Severus's thoughts, she glanced at the clock on the wall in front of them. A small frown graced her features. Curfew would be starting soon, and she was reluctant to leave. Knowing she had to return to the common room, she gently pulled away from him. "Severus, it's almost curfew. If I don't start heading back now, I'll be caught out of bed."
Severus reluctantly agreed. He stood up from the couch and led her out of the room. They stopped at the entrance of the potions classroom, where he tried to find the right words to end the night correctly. For once in his life, he found himself at a loss for words. Clearing his throat, he said awkwardly, "I enjoyed spending time with you this evening."
Hermione beamed up at him, pleased by his words. "I did too. I would like to do this again sometime."
A rare smile graced his features, making him look years younger than he appeared. "I would like that too, Hermione. Goodnight."
She boldly leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Severus."