Getting across the channel was pretty easy. The ship barely took two hours to arrive at Dover. From there, Elijah had already sent a car to collect them. Fancy-ass prick. Most people just used public transport or carriages, though he'd actually expected to see a lot more. He'd heard England was a little behind the times as far as modernisation went, but there was a surprising amount of cars about. The biggest downside of the whole trip was the fact he was stuck in a wheelchair. He'd been too off-balance to stand on the ship, and he didn't exactly have crutches hanging around to help. The worst thing besides that was the constant staring. He could feel people ogling him as yet another brave soldier returned irreparably damaged. The pity was sickening. He did, however, manage to muster a small smile and thank you for the pretty blonde girl who gave him a sprig of yellow flowers to thank him for his service.
He'd stared sullenly at those little flowers the whole way to Kent. He'd written to Nines the day he'd woken up, hoping to hear something positive about his men. The solemn response had arrived just before they'd left the little French hospital. He was the only one in his unit known to have survived. They'd found Miller and Pearson, or what was left of them, not far from where he'd been found. They'd been killed in the blast. Ripley had been found alive, but died from sepsis within a week. Jackson and Jenkins were unaccounted for, but there were a lot of unrecognisable bodies, and parts of bodies, that hadn't been identified yet.
He couldn't help feeling bad. He had over a decade on some of those kids. They had mothers. Sweethearts. Sisters. People waiting for them to come home. Sure, he had Nines, but how long would that last? Especially now. No one wanted to be saddled with an invalid for life. There was Elijah, but he was pretty sure he'd forget him the moment the next big project came along. Chloe would have been sad, but she had Elijah. He'd soon cheer her up enough to stop her moping. He forced a small smile as he noticed Chloe watching him. He didn't want her to worry too much.
At the estate, he was once again forced into a wheelchair to be pushed around like a sack of potatoes. It looked like a huge estate. The land spilled out for miles around them, with stables and hunting grounds. The mansion before them loomed about four storeys tall as he was wheeled up a temporary ramp. Elijah was cheerfully waiting in the doorway, explaining that he'd been placed in a room on the ground floor for now until he had a little more mobility. Gavin had remained tight-lipped as he'd listened to him raving about his latest developments. Noticing his sour mood, Elijah had suggested he rest. He'd had a long journey, and it was already nearly nightfall. Gavin had agreed and taken a little supper in his room. He'd barely eaten the hearty stew. Not because it tasted bad, but because he just wasn't hungry.
That was where he remained for three solid days. He languished in bed. When he wasn't sleeping, he read over Nines' letter or stared at the little sprig of flowers, which was rapidly drying out. Chloe had tried putting it in water, but that had only extended its short life by an extra day or so. She was endlessly patient. She knew he was dealing with a lot. Not just his injury, but being in a new and unfamiliar environment. The huge, drafty space. Unfamiliar food. Staff he didn't know bustling about. Even the air smelled different. His current dependence on the wheelchair made him reluctant to do anything or go anywhere. There were other men out there. Other soldiers. Others like him. No-hopers. Lost causes pulled back from the brink. And for what?
"Gavin…will you eat breakfast?" Chloe's voice was soft as she tried to coax him up. Gavin shook his head as he turned over onto his stomach, which fucking hurt with the wound in his side. He tried to hold back the whimpering sob as pain lanced through his body. "Is it your leg again? Does it still hurt?" Gavin huffed into the pillow as a wave of bitterness washed over him. How could it hurt? It wasn't even there! He swallowed as he felt tears fill his eyes again. All he had was a useless fucking stump, so why did it fucking hurt so much? He flinched as he felt a gentle hand on his back. Chloe soothed him a while longer before suggesting they try some painkillers. Before he could have them, he had to eat. Otherwise, the medication would make him sick.
Their routine continued like that for a solid week. He wouldn't leave his room. He barely left the bed at all. He only forced down enough food to swallow the pills he was handed without throwing up. Chloe came to keep him company and tried to lure him from his solitude, but he wasn't interested. Phck, it would have been better not to be found at all! The pain in his side came and went, but the throbbing in his leg was almost constant. He slept as much as possible, letting himself wither away. Chloe remained sympathetic, but insisted he'd change his mind soon. Like phck I will!
After another week, even Elijah was starting to worry. It wasn't unusual for newcomers to retreat into themselves for a while. They needed time to adjust to what had happened. Time to heal. Time to reflect and reassess. Unfortunately, it seemed Gavin wasn't doing that. He'd finally given in and done the only thing he could think of that might work. It took a lot of connections and negotiation, but he finally got his way. Chloe was thrilled at the news, but she held back from telling Gavin. She was sure he'd prefer it to be a surprise.
Two days later, Gavin's bedroom door creaked open shortly before dawn and clicking footsteps crossed to the bed. Gavin was awake. He often was with the relentless throbbing in his leg. He tried not to stiffen as he listened. The steps were too heavy to be Chloe or one of the maids. That meant it was probably Elijah, and if there was one person he didn't want to see in all this mess, it was Elijah. He stayed huddled on his side, almost curled up in one of the few comfortable sleeping positions he'd managed to find. His arms were curled against his chest, one loosely gripping the crisp white duvet. The fresh, regularly changed bedding was one of the major perks of being in a mansion. The house staff still carried on as normal, and the bedding was way nicer than the usual hospital sheets.
Gavin tried not to move or twitch as he felt the edge of the duvet in front of him being pulled back. What the phck? He was pretty sure his brow twitched as he felt the bed dip. Someone had just climbed into bed with him! He was pretty much hoping it was his brother at this point, because if it wasn't Elijah, it was some random pervert looking to take advantage of him. He was pretty sure it was a man. The steps had been heavy, thudding clicks, and the bed dipped quite a bit. The light breathing also sounded a little too deep for a woman. He absolutely knew it was a man as he shuffled closer and tucked him against his flat chest. An arm looped around his back to stroke his spine as rough lips pressed against his forehead. Those lips were cold. Whoever it was, they'd clearly only just come in from outside.
Gavin feigned sleep a little longer as he nuzzled into the contact. Rough wool. It was definitely a soldier. It didn't seem like someone who'd come straight off the field though. He smelled too clean for that. He breathed in again, trying to chase the familiar scent. That was good. If he recognised the scent, then it was at least someone he knew. The lips returned. They lingered on his temple before moving along his hairline. The hand on his back pulled him closer, still teasing circles on his spine. Gavin reached out and gripped the scratchy shirt in his hand, fingers trembling as he edged closer. He didn't want to be disappointed, but there was really only one soldier he could think of who'd climb into bed and comfort him like this.
"I'm here, Gavin…I'm here…" Nines' voice soothed as he nuzzled the top of his head. Gavin gripped tighter as his bottom lip quivered. He was pretty sure he was dreaming at this point. Nines was a medic on the frontline. There was no way they'd just let him take leave at random like this. Nines moved to envelop him in both arms, hushing and kissing him. He didn't rock him. He didn't want to jostle his injuries too much. Gavin sniffled quietly as he buried his face in his scratchy shirt. He was pretty sure he was going to wake up disappointed and alone in a few hours' time. "I'm here…I've got you…"
Gavin was pretty sure he'd cried himself unconscious after that. His eyes felt sore and crusted when he woke up. His skin felt tight where the salted tracks had dried. He snuffled his wet nose, surprised to smell the wool of Nines' shirt. When he finally looked up, he was still there. He almost started crying again as he took in the pale skin of his face. He seemed tired. Probably overworked…They'd lost almost four units. They were probably waiting for new recruits. Did more arrive yet? Did we have to fall back? It looked like lines were setting in at the corners of his eyes. Gavin knew he likely looked worse. The front would do that to you. It stole youth and sapped the soul. He knew he was even starting to go grey in places. Looking at Nines' brunette hair, he swore he could already see a strand or two of starlight creeping in.
Nines came…He really came…Why did he come? Why was he lying in bed with him? Had no one told him? Did he not know yet? Gavin dropped his gaze. Once he'd seen it, how long would it take him to turn tail and leave? Would he let him down gently, or just quietly walk out and disappear? He winced as the pain started up again. It seemed sharper somehow that morning. Usually, it limited itself to a dull throb, but right now it felt a sharper. It almost burned like a fresh wound. He took a breath and buried his face in Nines' chest, gritting his teeth. It's not even phcking real! It couldn't be real. His leg was gone! He still had stitches in the stump, but the pain he felt was lower. It was right in his shin. The shin that wasn't there! Phck! This is the worst!
"Gavin…what's wrong? Does it hurt?" Nines asked softly as he stroked through his hair. Gavin let out and smallest of whimpers as he looked up. He hadn't even realised he'd woken up. "It's alright…Breathe through it…Deep breaths…" Nines encouraged as he pushed himself up. Gavin let out a strained groan as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He did as Nines said, taking deep, shuddering breaths. He rested an arm across his face and closed his eyes as he panted, listening to Nines' steps coming and going. "Alright, Gavin…Just hold on until we get something for you to eat…" He nodded as he let the dull pain wash over him. Throb…Throb…Throb. It was like it followed his pulse. Is it going to be like this forever? Or just until the stitches heal? He was hoping for the latter.
He wasn't sure how long it took, but sometime later he felt Nines pulling him up. He whimpered as his waist bent, sending fresh waves of searing pain shooting through his side. Nines was apologetic as he settled him against the wooden headboard of the large double bed and sat beside him with a bowl of porridge. Gavin frowned at the steaming bowl, eyeing it with distrust. Is that…sliced banana? Nines huffed as he noticed his interest had piqued. He used the spoon to cut into one of the little slices and coated it in porridge before holding it out. Gavin blew on it a couple of times before accepting the spoon. The warm banana was a little mushy, but it still brought a little sweetness to the bland, stodgy oats. The Quaker man would roll in his non-existent grave if he tasted this shit…
Once he'd eaten, Nines brought the medication for him to drink. He mixed the powder sachet into a small glass of water and handed it over. Gavin chugged it, but honestly, waking up and eating had somewhat lessened the pain already. Nines stayed on the edge of the bed for a while, letting him rest as the medication took hold. Gavin dodged his gaze, wondering if he'd noticed yet. He dreaded it each time he moved. Once he saw it, he'd leave. He jerked in surprise as a gentle hand stroked through his hair. He hadn't noticed him moving closer.
"Come, I'll help you to the bath." Gavin balked at the idea. Not because he didn't want a bath. He'd been languishing in a pit of self-pity and festering filth for days. He felt dirty, but he didn't want Nines to see. He'd have to help him undress to bathe. There was no way he wouldn't notice. "You must feel horrible…You've been lying here for days." He had no idea how Nines knew that. Probably Chloe. Did Chloe tell him? He hunched over a little at the thought. "Gavin…It's all right. I'm not going anywhere…" Sure, he said that now. It was easy to say that while you were on temporary leave and wouldn't have to deal with it for a few months. What about later? "What is it?"
"I'm a phcking invalid, Nines!" He noticed him wince a little at the biting tone, but he couldn't help it. "I'm a useless sack of shit! I can't even do my phcking job!" Unlike most of the men out there, he'd been a career soldier. He'd ranked Sergeant long before they'd even gotten involved in this hellish mess. That was probably what had helped him survive so long. He clenched his jaw a little as he thought about how badly he'd let his men down. Men? They were phcking boys! He still couldn't believe he was the only one who'd survived. He blinked out a few tears as Nines' large hands cupped his cheeks.
"I would rather have you with a missing leg than not have you at all…You are far from worthless to me." There was so much conviction in his warm, silvery eyes that Gavin almost dared to believe it, but Nines was young. He was barely thirty. That was a lot of time to realise that he wasn't worth a damn and he'd be better off with someone else. Someone who could keep up with him. He'll probably meet someone else on the front. Trench romance is a thing for a reason. Is that all it was? Had they just desperately clung to each other for comfort?
"You say that now, but in a couple of months? A year? Two? You'll get sick of taking care of me!" Gavin snapped as he knocked his hands away. Nines looked a little hurt as he drew back. He wasn't sure how he could reassure him he was serious, but he was. He wasn't about to just give up and let him go after all they'd been through. He was perhaps a little rougher than intended as he leaned in and mashed their lips together. He gripped the back of Gavin's neck, holding him in place as he greedily devoured his mouth. "Ph-phck…Stop!" Nines ignored the objection as he pressed closer. Their chests were almost touching as he leaned down. He lingered on Gavin's lips a little longer until he felt his body relax.
"I'm a medic, Gavin…I understand these wounds and the recovery process…You won't need me to take care of you, and I won't get sick of you." Gavin evaded his silvery gaze as he panted for breath. He trembled as gentle teeth nipped his neck and Nines nuzzled up against his ear. "Let me take you to the bathroom, and I'll show you how invested I am…" Gavin felt his skin heat at the deep purr. He wasn't sure he believed it, but he really wanted him to stay. He nodded meekly and hooked his arms around his neck as he was lifted.