Queen's note: when the emotional constipation is loosened to mostly sort out, you shouldn't forget about taking care of your ESH

Garnets

Chapter Forty Six:

Protector

It was the quiet that had Lily sitting up on the large medical bed. It was hard to think, even with softly talking with Vega for a good long time she was still…

Lily looked at the door, feeling so tired that she could not go to sleep. Wanting to, but as something sounded like it moved under her current bed, and reflexively pulled her legs from dangling off the edge to curl up. The young woman whined as she hid her face in her knees, the music Vega was playing stopped working to distract her.

Twitching at another sound and then a low growl as the hallucination of her father came back, walking past Lily on the bed. She could hear the familiar rumble and half hum from him. Remembered listening to that sound through the safety glass of the observation room. Standing on the blocks to be closer to her changed dad's head level.

When the memory became a little too real, altering just that bit that she could feel his head pressing against her own instead of the divided glass. She jerked her head up, looking around and then turned, getting her legs up under her. "Vega! Open the door, now, please!"

The doors to the side room swished open and Lily almost vaulted the full distance to the door. Jumping over something that was not really there but the shadow darting at her legs triggered reflexes.

Gods, she was so tired and sleeping just seemed like a horrifying idea.

"It is alright Lily," Vega's voice spoke, something about it getting right through the background noise of scales following Lily. He was very carefully watching the young woman, having already talked extensively with Asa about the after effects of the high level demon. As well as the toxin it produced that Lily and the other human would have been too but did not seem as much. "Take a deep breath, and another, slowly. Do you want me to call for Valen?"

"I don't want to see anyone right now." Lily admitted as she shook her head, daring to look around. Spotting the large form of a bloody Sentinel down the hall to medical. She shied away from it and turned her back on the mirrored image of her father. "Can you keep me company Vega? I want to try walking."

She might be able to calm down or get tired enough to just pass out.

"I will be right here with you, watching over you Lily." Vega promised , "Just let me know what, or who you think you need."

"I can do that," Lily said softly, hugging herself, gripping her arms tightly. A part of her wondered how bad she looked compared to feeling. "...I want a shower. I feel gross."

She hesitated, realizing she did not remember how to get to the right area. Lily blinked as there was a flickering light on the ground. A blue-green shimmer almost at the line between floor and wall that caught her attention. If faded and another light shimmer a few feet away.

"Follow me," Vega spoke gently to his charge, making the ambient lights of the fortress alter to help lead Lily. It took a moment before she started to walk, now and then shying away from a larger shadow or door that was firmly closed.

"Vega?" Lily asked as she was almost to the cleaning areas, having to stop at the bottom of some stairs to sit and breath.

"Yes Lily?" Vega answered right away, listening carefully to the sound of her breathing as the readout of the medical monitor in her told the old AI about the dropping oxygen levels.

"Is there anyone else here with me?" Lily finally asked, watching something to her left intently.

"You are alone in that hall." Vega reassured, almost wanting to know what Lily was seeing so he could help her. "There's a cleaning drone farther down the hall to the left that will arrive soon."

Lily liked the odd little horseshoe crab shaped drones, and she found herself smiling a little. Suddenly missing the long legged ones that helped her in the gardens. Lily suddenly really wanted to go down to the garden area, see if there had been any changes with the plants. At the same time she did not want to see these hallucinations in the only safe pocket from the apocalypse.

Thinking of the garden had Lily then thinking of who put her there and all but said it was her area. She looked down, touching the stop under her collar bone, then resting her hand over her heart proper.

"...my chest still feels heavy." Lily said softly, prodding around herself. "I don't like it."

"I'm sorry Lily, I don't know how long it will take to adjust. Your weight has not changed that much though." Vega spoke, though the statements were not really directed at him.

"There's that at least," Lily said, resting against the railing to her right. Waiting for now as there was only just shifting in the shadows, nothing bigger. Listening to the tink-tink sounds of many little pedes of the cleaner drone that came over. Lily blinked as she saw it was dragging a new rolled up thing.

She recognized it as one of the new packaging of shorts that she had found that morning…day before? One that she thought might fit John. She curled up a bit at a suddenly scary thought. Not sure if it was her own insecurity or something else.

She got up from the cross path in the Fortress. Looking around as she started to recognize things a bit. If she followed the lights and the drone then she would end up in the shower and pool area. The other way was John's work and lounge room-like space. Under the stairs she had been sitting on was that window he first showed her the stares.

Lily paused as she realized she had been focusing on the cleaner drone a little too hard and had passed the open door she needed. Standing between that door and the one that was another few paces away.

"Where does that go?" Lily asked, puzzled and tired.

"That goes to the more heavy decontamination showers the Slayer goes too." Vega explained, as the door opened just enough to the sides to let the drone pass as it scooted the package through. "I do not want you to go too close, there are chemicals he is able to use that a normal human will be severely burned by."

Just enough of a glimpse to see a new hallway. Clean with some other drones working on one or two of the long tables that had been dragged over here. Likely by John himself before Lily was brought to the Fortress…. Two? Three months ago now?

She could see the weapon he had hooked to himself and what was kept in his sub-space like... magic pockets. Lily was standing in the doorway but not daring to cross the threshold. Staring intently at something.

"Vega? Lily asked before the door closed. The door slowed down with about to as if in response. "If I don't go any farther… can… can I see my dad?"

There was a long pause, at least five seconds before the doors slowly opened just enough for Lily to slip through. "Do not pass the tables, but you may."

"Thank you," Lily carefully stepped through the opening. Listening to the door close behind her, making sure not to step on the cleaner drones. She walked to the first table, eyes tracing the other weapons.

How could John hold those things like they were just five or ten pounds?

Lily touched the side of a barrel of a heavily modified shotgun. Or a shotgun he had made? It was not the same one from the Platform in the hurricane. It was sitting beside the crucible as if favored most with it.

Lily carefully rested her fingers on the hilt of the living weapon. She was not sure if it was her imagination or not but it seemed like Lily could smell her father's scent. That cedar-coffee smell mixed with sea salt.

When she closed her eyes, Lily could almost feel his presence behind. Big arms moving as if to close her into a hug like he did when playful.

No hug came and Lily felt her eyes burning as she grasped carefully at the hilt, pulling it closer to the edge of the chest high table top. "I miss you dad. I could really use your help… or hug. I could really use a hug."

She pulled the crucible to the edge of the table and folded her arms around and on it, trusting what John had said that her father's weapon form could not hurt her. Lily shivered as her chest seemed just that much heavier again, more than what it was before being found on the platform. She whined against the crucible.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry I lost your wedding bands." Lily choked and gasped for air. In some strange way taking some reassurance at the once familiar pain in her chest. Valen said it was okay, that she was not changing because her lungs were still broken right? "I tried to do something good, I really did dad. Now I'm scared and…an.. and… I might be like what mom turned into. I don't want that…"

Vega was quiet, letting Lily decompress after everything that had happened. Watching to make sure she did not over stress herself. Letting the human get the stress off of her chest so to say. The AI also kept track of the Slayer in his decontamination shower. Only letting the waiting drone in that door once Lily had sat down. A little amused at that, but Vega also found himself sympathizing with the human as she ended up hiding under the table. Noting that Lily was curled up in the smaller, dimmer place with the crucible.

It did not take too long, as it had been almost two hours before she left the side room for medical.

The doors to the decontamination shower that John favored open. The human sitting a little farther down the hall and under the table looked up automatically, but thankfully the Demigod at least had a pair of those newer boxers on. He was hooking a bear foot under the chittering cleaning drone that had been stuck in the showers for almost forty minutes. Lifting and flipping it up to catch, John smirked at the angry trill as the drone seemed to glare at him while tucking it's legs.

Possibly Vega had warned him about who was there, likely did, as those eerie blue eyes quickly found who was normally not here. Not missing the missing crucible either. Curled up near but not too close to the doors to this hall. Legs drawn up with head pressing to knees, and arms over her head, he could see the small shivers as Lily looked so… small.

The Slayer walked quietly over, setting the drone down on one of the weapons to start working on. He was trying not to give off the air of a predator. He was, but not to this person, his human. He stopped and crouched down on his heels for a moment, peering under the table with arms resting on his knees as the Demigod gave a questioning sound.

"Hm?"

Lily looked back up at him, and for a horrible moment he thought she was scared of him.

Then her eyes were tracking something not there behind him. Lily put her head down to avoid looking at whatever hallucination it was while hugging the Last Gift again. Taking a shuddering breath before a low voice spoke, almost unheard, as she was still having trouble breathing. "I'm sorry… I know it's childish… can… can I stay with you John? I'm sorry…"

Lily paused before she spoke again in that same, painfully lost, soft voice from when John had first found her in the hurricane. Mistaking him for her father in armor. "I'm scared."

Of the hallucinations. Of the new reality she had a gorgon heart. Of what the Wraith had done to her. Of losing her family keepsakes.

…she was scared and felt alone again…

The Slayer, Demigod, Hell-Walker… John shifted to drop to his knees, shifting his bulk partly under the table. He reached out with both hands and a sigh-like sound. Not exasperated, but so very relieved that his human was not scared of him, but seeking him out for protection.

Comfort?

Even though what comfort he could give was always somewhat clumsy and more on the heavy handed side. John was pulling Lily off the floor where she was huddled waiting for him. Letting her small frame settle against his chest as he shifted back out from under the table. Bracing her with one arm and reaching awkwardly for her face. Smoothing his thumb over her cheek, feeling the tear tracks, grit and the traces of blood John could still clearly smell on her. Human blood, demonic blood, Argenta blood. Even the silver stains from that Wraith's blood.

Her own blood...

He did not like that.

The Demigod stood back up, wrapping both arms around Lily after taking the crucible and putting it in his waistband before he walked to a different area. Not the decontamination shower he just left but one of the normal ones off side the pool like area. There were no protests, not even when John set the girl down in the shower area in a water stream.

It was not the freezing temperatures he liked, but just on the cooler side. Lily tried but was not quite able to bring herself to worry that it did not feel as cold as it should.

It was pretty clear what he wanted to do, and there was no real fight in Lily left after the last 30-something hours of seemingly solid chaos. Though John was making sure she was cleaned up, and it felt awkward, he had helped her before when her shoulders and arms were hurt. It helped that he really had no reactions, other than looking worried at the red marks that were from the demon blood. When he could not so easily smell blood on Lily anymore the Demigod moved her to the side of the room to set her on a bench.

Lily was grateful for the loose clothes that Vega had the cleaning drones bring over as she sat on the stone bench while the big man left. It was definitely not her size, possibly for a bigger 'young' Argenta apprentice. The color was a nice lavender shade with blue hems. She really did like that the Argenta did not seem to have the same gender colors earth used to.

She looked up as John came back, offering an apple juice bottle that seemed ridiculously small in his palm. It was one of the easiest things to grab from the supplies still in the main halls that were not put away yet. He hummed back as Lily gave her first smile as she took it.

Why scared? John signed as he crouched in front of where he had left Lily. Bad dreaming? Bad day dreaming?

"Kinda," Lily paused her sipping of the juice to point at something to her right, then the left behind John. "Those are still here."

John glanced around, and then back as he saw nothing. Remembering that the Sentinels killed a Wretched. Lily would be affected as well having been near it.

"...I don't want to be a monster like mom." Lily finally spoke at the bottom of the little bottle, not able to look up. Turning the soft plastic over in her hands after finishing the juice. "I'm scared that my heart isn't what it's supposed to be. I'm scared of what the wraith did to me… I'm… I'm scared of being not me, and scared you won't protect me anymore if I do turn into a… in a... I don't want to be a gorgon. I don't want to be a demon, or monster. Or some new kind of life. I just want to be me. I want to stay here because it's where you brought me- and you said I don't have to be strong if I can't. I know I'm not- But if I'm a monster what happens?"

Lily was beginning to hyperventilate as once she started, everything was pouring out now and she could not just stop it. She could not see anything as the tears made everything blurry and stingy, so Lily almost jumped out of her skin as massive hands closed around her head. Moving in a slow but steady motion, his palms felt almost hot on her cheeks.

There was the becoming now familiar thunder deep rumble from John's chest as he carefully tried to clean her face with his thumbs.

Affection.

Lily startled again at the soft but impossibly earthquake-like vibration of the Primordial word that was felt more than heard. Looking up into glowing blue eyes, the only thing that she could see clearly through the tears.

John slid a hand behind her head, the other dropping behind her back as he bent forward. Trying to show what he could not really say as he pressed their heads together.

Protective-reassurance.

Lily took a shuddering breath, feeling her chest tightening until there was a bleed of warm energy spreading through her back. The new well of wraith energy somewhere in her belly and spine shifted in response to the Demigod. Making Lily squirm until she was picked up and held tightly again.

"I'm scared…" the girl admitted again into the broad chest, staring at the network of scarring. Realizing one of the top layers looked like some sort of band about a hand space wide had been sinched down on John.

Understanding. Affection-loyalty.

John pressed his head against hers firmly, but carefully as he squeezed his arms around the human a little tighter for a moment.

"...I don't want to be a monster…" Lily felt herself shutter and then almost sobbed. "I just want to be me."

Denial.

It was so firm and unshakable of a thing to vibrate like thunder from low in the Demigod's chest that it did make Lily shiver. John's eyes flashed brighter, and distinctly green as he almost held too tight for a moment, but controlled himself. Try to say something, almost mouthing the right words, but the Primordial slipped out instead of the words he wanted to say.

Loyalty-trust. Possessive-affection-determined.

John shifted the human, his human so that he could rub the side of his face against her head. He knew very well that there were no monsters here but himself. John wanted to say that aloud so desperately but could not.

Lily had always felt cooler then she should be to him, and now after the pure wraith gift she sometimes felt cold against the heat he was still bleeding off. Yet he recognized the feel of her soul still, the stronger thread that connected them. Could still feel even in all the spiraling fears she had, Lily was still wanting to believe in him.

She was his now, in his protection, his human. His mortal, and what likely could count as family to him now. Just as Vega was his. As Valen was. As the Argenta and those small silly humans still in stasis in the Fortress were all his now too.

His.

Nothing was ever going to be able to take what belonged to him anymore. Nor survive that long if they tried to.

Not Hell.

Not the Kahn Maykr.

Not that Gaia wraith.

Old gods could not take what was his.

The Demigod of death and war stood up, rumbling low words in Primordial to reassure until Lily was laying almost bonelessly limp in his arms as he walked. Coming to an area of the Fortress she had never been to yet. Where it was quiet but not still, as he had taken to using her idea in the gardens for some sort of background noise.

When Lily was carefully set down, she blinked tiredly around. Finding herself sinking into a rather impressively sized bed. It was neatly made, the room dim but not pitch dark. Having a wide window that had part of earth visible, as well as the broken edge of the moon and most of the expanse of stars. It was not exactly like the rest of the Fortress, as there was old wood furniture from both Argenta made, and some things he had taken from earth.

There were a lot of small things that John had from earth really. He was walking back to the bed, offering a water bottle to Lily and then paced away again. As if he was looking for something in all of the knickknacks he collected in their cabinets. Off and on an unearthly rumble of a Primordial half word would slip out.

Lily watched, confused as she looked around the room. It was the heavy smell of petrichor that helped Lily realize that she was in John's personal room. It was definitely bigger, scaled up for Argenta to be comfortable, not unlike the bunk rooms she had seen. Just fitted to his size better one might say. For all the small things in the place, it was also still very well organized and tidy.

The young woman looked down, carefully opening the bottle to sip at the stale but still clean water. Watching in a sort of numbed tiredness as John came back. He held out a soft, pale tan plush easter bunny for Lily to take. Then paced back to look for something else.

Lily stared down at the blue button eyes of the bunny, blinking back at it as she capped the bottle again. She rubbed the soft false fur of the plushie's belly and found herself curling her arms around it as Lily looked back up at movement, only to have a different blanket and then what she was sitting on, dropped over her. After getting out from under the yellow and blue paisley comforter, she looked over to see John picking up a large, glass bottle that was… glowing off the main large desk. It was a reused bottle for some type of alcohol, but the blue-silver fluid was fascinating and… likely as dangerous as it was pretty.

Yet John was drinking it, taking a few good swigs and finished a third of the bottle with a sigh and made sure it could not spill. Rubbing the back of his hand on his mouth, pause as if realizing that might not be a good idea with the human around. Then the liquid Argent plasma just absorbed back into his skin.

He stared at the spot as if confused.

Lily could not help the giggle that slipped out at seeing John's expression. Blue glowing eyes blinked back at her, then down to make sure there were no traces left on him.

He spotted the thing he had been looking for then, brightened and reached for another smaller plush toy on a shelf. It was stained, but cleaned now, and John had to just ruffle it a little roughly between his hands to get the thing soft again as he came back to sit on the edge of the bed. John offered the stuffed shark to Lily and then purposely signed the wrong word with a straight face. Tuna.

John was rewarded with a watery smile as Lily reached for the stuffed shark. "Tuna the shark, eh?"

Not a tuna? John tilted his head, huffing as he got a head shake.

"You won't give up on me right?" Lily dared to ask, looking up at the Demigod from the near nest. Feeling so small still, and even to her own ears her voice was about to break again.

John moved, stretching out onto the big bed and pulling the crucible out of his waistband. Tossing it to the head of the large bed to be in reach, while his weight made Lily fall against his side with a squeak as the bed sank under him. Then she squeaked again as John pulled the smaller human up and curled around her. He spread a hand over her back under the blanket to bleed his own energy into her as her own new wraith gift felt like it was actually cooling him down.

Mine.

The very clear Primordial word came out at once.

Reassurance. Faith-loyalty.

John pulled the blanket up around Lily a little more, knowing his room was not heated. The green edge of his eyes brighter and he signed for Vega to turn out what lights there were. The Demigod pulled the still very young life against him as Lily clung both to one of his arms and to the plushies he had given to her.

It was not the same as cuddling with her dad, but it was so nice to start to feel protected again.

With the only light coming from the reflection of the broken moon now, the Demigod settled into humming as he watched over his human. It did not take long, now that she was cleaned up and being held still, for Lily to give into the exhaustion she had been fighting since he saw her come out of the portal covered in demonic blood in Australia.

Over two thousand years of awareness, a long… too long of a life and a violent life. Not including the eternities seemingly of self chosen torment in hell. Those few times he had died and needed to fight his way back out of hell…

A thick hand brush over the girl's head to the now clean, damp hair.

He did not want to give up this small, soft thing that Lily was in his chest. He felt guilty for that, but could not really find any desire to let go. Definitely not right now as he would make sure the younger human got some real rest. Nor could John break the connecting threads that were forming between them that he did not fully understand.

The Slayer, the Unchained Predator of Hell… he half closed his eyes and shifted just a bit so his thumb now rested on one of Lily's pulse points. Reassuring himself with being able to feel the finally steady, still human heartbeat.

What had Valen said? He was willingly putting a nose on them?

Maybe.

Maybe…

Yes.

Because it would not be a nose for him, just another thing to help strangle hell with. The Demigod would rip apart whatever tried to take this small soul from him.

He would break reality if he had to, to keep what was his again safe this time.

reviews!

XFireStoneX: Thank you! and sort of, Lily will be learning from Asa, Her new wraith gift is going to be more geared to help chill out a demigod that's runs too hot sometimes