It's not as simple to explain as I want it to be. Suddenly, everything I had ever worked for, everything I had ever achieved in life paled in comparison to the revelations that have just been made available to me. I turn to Cassandra, unable to properly understand what has just happened to me. My legs feel weak, my head is spinning, I can't control what's happening to my body, as I keel over and lose consciousness.
But when I wake up, the memories, the revelations, they're gone. Then I lose my trail of thought and I realise I'm somewhere else again. Visions of black, blue and gold envelope my eyeline. The world I was looking at was not Claxton, but it wasn't like the vision I had just experienced either. I pondered what I was looking at, trying to make sense of it all. Then I felt a hand on my back. I jumped back and turned around. It was Cassie.
'Jesus don't scare me like that' I say.
'Sorry' she says meekly, a half-smile on her face.
'Where are we, what is this place?' I demanded.
'This is the Dark Fire' she begins to explain. 'Remember I told you I was a caster; well, this is the source of that power. It exists in a pocket dimension, away from the Mortal world where it could be used to wreak havoc unknown to humanity. We're not actually there right now. We're in a state of flux if you will. The Dark Fire is where I'm able to get my power from, where all casters are able to get their abilities from. My family are elementals, more specifically, we are casters that have a level of control over the elements. Think back to the vision you experienced earlier. The fear you felt facing the elements. We feel the opposite. We are drawn to whatever element we have control over. For me, it's fire, or at least that's my principal element. That's why you saw my eyes burn earlier.'
'What do you mean by principal?' I ask.
'Very rarely in my family, someone develops an aptitude for controlling more than one element' she says. 'I am one such person. But I'm very far away from true mastery of them. I only really control fire properly. Anyway, enough about me. What I brought you here to show you was this.'
She gestures to something behind me, so I turn around and I see something unlike anything I have ever laid my eyes on before. I stare at the shimmering blue and gold light that lies in front of me. It's so inviting, almost begging me to reach out and touch it.
'No mortal can touch it' she explains, as if reading my mind. 'It holds power beyond what a mortal can handle. Even casters, if they touch it, can for a time be completely immobilised, such is the power of it.'
'What happens if a mortal does touch it?' I ask, mockingly edging closer.
'You'll be obliterated' she says, deadly seriously. 'Plain and simple.'
'Right' I say, moving away from it and back in Cassie's direction.
'It energises us, the closer we are to it, the stronger our powers are' she continues. 'That's why I've brought us here. I need the increased potency in order to do what needs to be done.'
'What needs to be done?' I ask nervously. 'Are you gonna like disembowel me or something?' I'm only half joking as I say this.
She glares at me. 'Typical Josh' she says under her breath. 'No, I'm gonna show you what you need to see.'
'You lost me' I reply. 'What do you mean typical Josh?'
'Nothing' she says, quickly changing the topic. 'I've implanted memories in your head that are vital for you to understand just what's going on. I just need to activate them. And for that I need the Dark Fire's increased power. Got it?'
'I think so' I say. 'So, I'm gonna remember whatever I need to remember and that'll help explain all this?'
'And more' she says. 'This gonna help explain everything I've shown you. Sit still.'
'Okay' I respond, watching her do some peculiar hand movements, and seeing her hands light up a goldish hue. 'So, how are you gonna do that?'
'Like this' she says and places her hands on my forehead. Her hands are warm to the touch. After a few seconds, she removes her hands.
'It's done, the activation is complete' she explains. 'Now try and just think back to your past.'
At first nothing happens, and I'm worried that I'm being played for a fool. But then, a rush of information. Memories, details, everything. All at once. Then I hear her voice.
'Think in your head' she says. 'To the memories of your predecessors.'
I slowly start to think back and the volume of information that I have just received makes my head start to hurt.
'Slowly' she says. 'You and I both know it can be painful. Don't try to assimilate it all at once. Try and slowly incorporate it.'
I try and slow the flow of information down, and my head starts to stop hurting. I start to think more clearly now, and I remember having stood here before.
'I remember being here before' I say.'
'Yes', she says, clearly excited at this revelation. 'What else?'
'I've been here with you, not you, but another version of you' I say. 'It's like it was us, but not us.'
'Now you're starting to get it' she replies. 'Let me just get us back. Any prolonged exposure to the Dark Fire, for a mortal or a caster can be damaging.'
Suddenly, the environment around me changes again, and no sooner was I staring at Cassie and the Dark Fire, than I am back in Claxton.
I look around readjusting yet again to being back home. I see Cassie next to me, and that fact is extremely reassuring and comforting. Yet I'm not sure why.
'Now' she begins. 'What you saw and what you are seeing are the memories of James Carter, your ancestor. And that 'version' of me was my ancestor and namesake, Cassandra Lexington. They were in love, and it's prophesised that their descendants will meet a similar fate to theirs, a love ending in tragedy. As I've already described to you.'
'This is a lot to take in' I say. 'It's more than a lot. It's almost impossible to believe. And yet I know all of it is true. As soon as I saw you, earlier, I knew that I knew you. I was unexplainably drawn to you. I didn't know what it was. How can I already feel like I know you? But it's more than just knowing you, I felt like I'd always known you, and there were deeper feelings, way beyond surface déjà vu.'
'That's just the truth of the situation' she says, a downcast look entering her face. 'No matter how hard we try and deny it, we will always be drawn to each other. I could be in Australia, and you would have the brilliant idea of, after finishing high school, to take a gap year or something and end up where I was. We could try absolutely everything in the universe to try and avoid what is destined to happen, and nothing would work.'
'Wow' I think, knowing everything she was saying was true. 'I don't know what to say. I mean if our fates are already written, if it's prophesised that we will end up together, what's the point of all this. Why are you showing me all these, barely a day after meeting me? Why not just wait for things to happen naturally, try and take it day by day?'
'Because' she starts, a guilty look replacing the sadness. 'I already tried that.'
'What do you mean?' I ask.
'Well,' she continues, preparing for what I assume will be a big reveal. 'I've already done all this with you. And more. So much more.' She's crying now as she reaches over and touches my hand. That's when the final, but nonetheless the biggest revelation hits. I was in love with this girl, I had already lived a part of my life with Cassie as the love of my life. And yet I couldn't remember it. Why couldn't I remember it? I posed this same question to her.
'Cassie, what?' I say, confused. 'Why can't I remember?' She looks away and doesn't answer. The feelings of love I had for this girl all came tumbling back, stronger than any emotion I'd ever felt before. And yet I couldn't remember them before now. Why?
'Just take a moment to process it all' she says. 'Please'
'I'm trying to' I say, annoyed. 'Believe me.'
I can't quite understand what's going on. I remember a love. Our love. Yet I can't remember why it ended, how it ended. I remember all of the good moments, even some of the bad moments. But I don't know why I couldn't remember them before.
'Cassie' I say. 'Tell me what I've just seen. What I've just remembered.'
'I had to-' she begins, clearly fighting the urge to continue crying. 'I had to erase your memory; it was the easiest thing to do.'
'Why?' I say, angrily. 'Why would you do that?'
'Because' she says, delving further into what happened. 'A mortal and a caster aren't supposed to be together, there were too many factors preventing us from being together. And I thought. I thought that by erasing your memory it would make it easier. But it didn't, it only made it harder, so much harder. You were my safety net, the one person I could lean on. And it broke me when I did it, but I thought I was doing both of us a favour.'
I don't know what to think, as I sit down, trying to understand everything that's happened.
'So why make me remember now?' I ask. 'I mean if it's so bad for us to be together that you've already made me forget all about you, why bring it back?'
'Because' she says. 'I can't do this without you. I'm going against everything my family have said. They're the ones who managed to convince me to erase your memory in the first place. My mind was twisted into making me believe I was something that I wasn't. And now I need you more than ever. I can't go through this again without you. Please try to understand. Please, remember to what I told you before, the process I have to go through, as someone who can control more than one element.'
My memory flashes back to several conversations with her telling me about everything that she'll have to do. The rituals and rites of passage she'll have to undertake. But that's not where my memory stops. It's at this point that I really push into everything I have just recollected. Every moment of our love. I remember countless kisses, hugs in the moonlight, rainy nights staring out of my bedroom window longing for her. I remember comforting her. I remember dancing with her, staring into her beautiful, fiery eyes, wishing the moments would never end. I remember everything. I remember her. I remember us.
'Cassie' I say. 'Look at me.' She flinches at the sound of my voice and doesn't meet my gaze.
'Look at me' I say again. 'Please.'
She finally looks up.
'Don't you ever' I begin with a serious tone. 'Do anything like that again. I hope I will eventually be able to understand why you did what you did. But all you need to know now is that I remember everything. The nights, the days, the experiences, all of it. I love you. Perhaps even stronger than I did because I remember what it was like without you, knowing I had someone out there waiting, without being able to know just who it was. Just promise you'll never do that again. I'm here to stay.'
'I won't' she says. 'I promise my love. I promise. I'll always need you.'
She collapses into my arms, relief unconfined washing over us both. All I know, is that regardless of whether I knew it or not, I finally know again just how much I care for her, how much she means to me. How much I love her. There is no way I'm ever letting her go again. No matter what. The anger that I had felt dissipated almost at once. I just wanted to be close to her again. I just wanted to feel the closeness and the love that I had missed for however long since she had erased my memory.
'I missed you' I say, trying to lighten the mood.
'Me too' she says through laughing tears. 'Me too' and she collapses into me again.
