My deepest apologies. We had been without internet for 10 days. Then we had a lightning strike that fried our computer. So we had to get a new one, unfortunately. Just what we didn't need in these trying times. Not to mention our dryer stopped working along with the hot water heater and my husband's surgery on top of everything else. It's been a gigantic cluster-F.
Please know that if I disappear, it's because something is going on. I've never abandoned a story and that won't happen unless I die.
The room is silent and there's a slight chill in the air. He slips off his shoes and leaves them against the door. Through the doorway, he can see furniture, a plethora of white and vague, indistinguishable paintings on the walls. As his eyes drift farther, there's a set of sliding glass doors, and beyond that, an immense bulky tree stands out with the movement of a whirlwind but the look of a witch.
Retreating back into his space, he begins to pace the length of the small room. There are only soft walls and a bed. As stark as it is, he also can't deny that he feels infinitely safer when he's inside. Sliding down the wall, even without closing his eyes, a pair the color of liquid amber appears in his mind. Longingly, he devours her face, wishing with all his being that he could reach out and brush his hand against her perfectly shaped cheekbones, or under the feathers of her thick, dark lashes. But there will be none of that, maybe not ever again for here, there is no Elena.
The door creeks open, allowing a man in a white coat to poke his head through. It's then that he begins to feel a hint of panic as it creeps up his spine like a spider. The man smiles and offers a pen and a ream of paper for which Damon is grateful. After he thanks him, the man nods and walks out, closing the door tightly behind him.
Damon brushes the hair out of his face and looks down at the blank paper staring back at him. Sucking his lower lip between his teeth, he tightens his grip on the pen and starts to write.
Dearest Elena...
Startling awake, Damon jumps out of bed to use the bathroom, disrupting Onyx in the process. When he finishes, he splashes his face with some cold water before returning to bed. It's too early to get up, he has to work and although he's used to sleeping alone, the empty side of the bed gives him pause. It's her birthday, he was kind of an asshole the last time he saw her, she didn't deserve it, but he was so startled to see her again that every impulse was urging him to run. As much as he'd like to deny it, in his heart of hearts, he knows he shouldn't have left her. Blowing out a breath, he climbs back into bed and lays in the dark staring at the ceiling till his eyelids grow heavy.
When he wakes up, Onyx is curled up on his chest, rising and falling with each of his breaths. As carefully as he can, he lifts her off and gets up to get ready for work.
Having a lighter load to deliver, it's mid-afternoon when Damon finishes his deliveries. He's become pretty good at avoiding Rose but not today. Much to his chagrin, she was lying in wait for his return.
She's attractive enough but he has no interest in her romantically or otherwise. He told her as much, adding if she doesn't back off, he'll report her to Ric, alleging sexual harassment after she pinched his ass as he was leaving the building. Since she seemed pretty irate when she backed off, he believes that she finally got his message loud and clear.
Once he's inside his vehicle, he's about to shift into gear when out of nowhere, his thoughts drift to Elena. He remembers being literally mesmerized by the deep swirls of brown that color her pupils. She would be able to see right through the dark recesses that he usually kept hidden behind a mask. Today's her birthday.
Rather than go straight home to Onyx, he drives instead to Enzo's place, hoping to blow off some pent-up energy after his tussle with Rose.
"Come on, give it to me," Enzo cajoles him, blocking Damon's fist with a few moves of his own. He needs to work on his agility as a pair of rough hands tries to seize and pin him to the mat. Damon leaps like a panther, landing on his opponent's back. Dropping abruptly, Enzo executes a somersault, shakes himself free, and rises, getting into the defensive position again.
The two men grunt as they attempt to wrestle the other to the ground. Damon releases a handhold and uses it to start jabbing at Enzo. When Damon catches a glimpse of someone in his peripheral vision, his concentration is broken allowing Enzo to bring his face down sharply onto his bent knee. Blood flows from Damon's nose and he staggers backward, landing on his ass at the edge of the mat.
"What was that?" Enzo asks, offering a hand and pulling him to his feet after which he gets some ice, wraps it in a towel, and presses it to Damon's nose.
"Him," his eyes drift to the man that's approaching. Enzo turns to look at the older guy. There's something about the way he carries himself...
"Hello Damon," the man calls out, scrutinizing his bloodied form.
"Dad..."
"Thanks," Damon nods at the waitress when she fills their coffee cups. A muscle twitches involuntarily at the corner of his right eye, his shoulders slump in defeat as he faces his father.
"Do you have any idea how shocking it was to be parked at a stop light, turn my head, and see my son?"
"You mean Katherine and Rebekah didn't rat me out?"
"They know you're back? You told them and not your mom and me?" Giuseppe asks incredulously.
"No, that's not it at all. I went to Elijah's basketball game. Rebekah caught a glimpse and tracked me down. Katherine saw me when I was delivering mail."
"Delivering mail?"
"Yeah, Ric got me the job."
"Oh, Damon," Giuseppe shakes his head, dropping his eyes to the cup on the table.
In that moment the quiet becomes like icy drips onto already cold skin. "Yeah, I know..." Damon rolls his eyes. "How the mighty have fallen."
"Don't put words into my mouth," the older Salvatore cautions, taking a long swallow from his cup.
"I'm sorry, Dad that I didn't call you right away, I needed some time to get a little semblance or normalcy if there is such a thing in my life before I faced you and all the disapproving looks."
"Damon, don't talk like that. All your mother and I want, all we've ever wanted is for our children to be happy. You held yourself to such a high standard, it was almost impossible to meet. Did I like seeing you tear yourself apart, no. Do I wish you hadn't fallen so precipitously, yes, of course. I don't know what plans you have for yourself now but try to be happy, Damon."
"That's hard though, Dad." Damon sighs and turns his head, his eyes drifting to people passing on the sidewalk, going in and out of stores, and into the bar across the street.
"Have you seen Elena?"
"Have you?" Damon shoots back, unable to keep the edginess off his voice. His dad's looking at him, and as usual, it works to calm down his nerves and he answers truthfully. "Just briefly. Of all the routes in this town, Ric gives me the one that includes her block."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Maybe but not now. I hope you understand?"
"Of course, but I will have to tell your mother."
"Please just let me do this on my own terms?"
"Damon, I can't keep this from her."
"I know, Dad," he notices that the sun is beginning its descent into the Pacific. "I have to go, I promise I'll call soon," he stands up and throws a couple of dollars on the table. Turning around to walk away, he stops long enough to say, "It was good seeing you dad, I'll be in touch."
Without looking back, he walks out of the café with his head down and his arms swinging at his sides.
When he gets home, Damon is edgy and goes immediately to the refrigerator to pull out a can of soda. Popping the top, he nearly empties it with one long swallow. Kicking his shoes off, he moves to the couch and stares into space, jumping slightly when Onyx lands on his lap.
"Hey, little girl." Damon smiles and pets her till she's purring contentedly. Carefully he reaches into his back pocket for his phone.
Images of his family form in his head, it's time for him to man up. Impulsively, he dials their number and he closes his eyes when he hears her voice.
"Hello?"
"Mom, it's me.
"Damon? Where are you?"
"I'm back in town. Actually, I ran into Dad today... I told him I'd call."
"I'm glad you did. I've been so worried."
"I don't have time to talk now but would you mind if I stop by sometime?"
"Yes, of course. Just give me a heads up first so I can cook you a decent meal."
"I will."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm hanging in there, I have to go now. I'll see you soon."
"Alright... Goodbye."
"I miss you, Mom."
"I miss you, too, Damon. I'll see you soon," she adds and clicks off the phone.
Damon takes a deep shuddering breath and tosses the phone on the couch cushion beside him.
After ending the call, Damon sits for what feels like hours in the growing darkness of the room, Onyx gently purring on his lap, occasionally poking her sharp little claws into his skin.
He's so done with this day, so many fucking life changes in the span of 12 hours or so have long been enough. But it's still Elena's birthday and it would be the first one he's blown off since he met her.
He had a hellacious day in court and by the time he gets home, Damon's in a foul mood. All he wants to do is relax in the jacuzzi with a cold beer and a cigarette or two. As soon as he walks inside, he sets his briefcase down and pulls a beer out of the refrigerator. After taking a pull on the longneck bottle, he slips out of his suit jacket, loosens his tie, plops down on the couch, and spreads his legs across the coffee table.
Just as he's laying his head back, he turns it to the side when he hears her voice. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks, where are you taking me?"
"Elena, can we do this another night, I'm beat," Damon takes another swallow of beer.
"It's my birthday..."
"I know," he turns on one hip to pull a small box out of his pocket and tosses it to her. "Happy birthday."
"Thank you," she reluctantly opens the box, fingering the pendant.
"It's a blackberry blossom," Damon explains as he rises to throw the bottle away and kick off his shoes.
"It's pretty..." Elena's smile is as fake as any he's seen.
He not only can hear the disappointment in her voice, he also watches the light dimming in her eyes, tipping him off that he screwed up for the... he's lost count of how many times. That night he learns that no present can compensate for the time and thought we give to our loved ones.
He drops the soda bottle and jerks upright when it spills on not only his pants but Onyx too. Meowing loudly, she jumps off his lap and darts under the couch.
"Sorry Onyx," he gets down onto his knees and tries to coax her out. Although she swats at him with her paw a couple of times, she finally does when he opens a can of tuna for her.
While she's eating, he leans against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. Damon feels troubled, it's nothing new in his new reality. However, tonight he knows why it's different.
It's Elena's birthday and neither his conscience nor his heart will allow him to simply brush it off. Raking a hand through his hair, he has an idea of what to give her but can he?
Shaking his head back and forth, "Man up, Damon," he says to himself as he walks into his bedroom. In the back of the closet, he pulls out his suitcase, lays it on the bed, and unzips it, pulling out a small brown paper package tied up with jute.
Before he can talk himself out of it, he slips on a dry pair of pants and grabs his wallet and keys before running down the stairs to where his car is parked.
Dark, onyx-colored clouds roll across the sky, but no rain falls. Off in the distance, he can see small stars, twinkling and shining. By the time he gets to her neighborhood, the clouds part, and the moon becomes visible.
For a moment, Damon sits in his car staring at her house while he battles with his feelings.
Heartache is like a wolf eating at his chest, tearing its way to his trembling heart. It threatens to devour him, eat him whole, and leave nothing but sinew and bone behind.
He can turn tail and run or he can take a stand and fight it off. Holding the package in his hand, running his fingertips along the jute, he closes his eyes but still the wolf tears at him.
Shouldn't he go home? Raising his eyes to her house again, he finally gets out of the car. He keeps in the shadows but the moonlight spills on his chest and shoulders when he steps from the darkness to reach her mailbox.
Before he can change his mind, because he knows with absolute certainty that he'll regret it in the morning, Damon pulls the package out of his pocket and slides it inside. Taking a breath, he pushes the lid closed, his fingertips lingering till he sees the beam of light from an approaching vehicle. Jumping into the shadows, he jogs back to his car.
"Happy birthday Elena," he whispers then steps on the gas pedal and speeds out of the neighborhood.
Thank you all so much for everything.
Chapter title: Trip Around The Sun - Jimmy Buffett (RIP) and Martina McBride. I didn't realize that Jimmy Buffett had a cameo in Jurassic World. I had to watch the movie again to see if I could see him. He's carrying a margarita in each hand when the Pterodactyls are swarming the Jurassic World village.
Just so you're aware, next week there might be a lull, too. My husband and I are meeting our two daughters, Brittany and Sally, in Las Vegas for a long weekend. I'm not going to pay extra for internet at the hotel. They earn millions and millions with people gambling, their restaurants, shops, they could offer the internet for free.
Never forget 9.11.01. RIP to all the souls who lost their lives on that life-changing day. It was for me.
Take care and have a lovely day.
