Stefan nods, deeply focused on what his brother's saying, Damon, uncomfortable under his scrutiny turns his head away to look at his father, otherwise he might explode and deck him with a well-aimed punch.
It'd be so easy to turn it all off...
"If you put your mind to it and accept help, I think there's a fair chance that you can do it. Really, they have the best references. Especially this Coos Bay group."
"Stefan, you need to back off. Otherwise, there is a fair chance that you'll earn yourself a fat lip."
His golden angel. Rebekah knows firsthand how annoying Stefan can be. Why did she marry him again?
"What are you talking about?" Stef is as clueless as ever. Rebekah doesn't bother to answer, puts a big mug of coffee in front of Damon, and takes the seat next to him as well.
"No coffee?" he asks in a low voice, giving her a suspicious look. The one she returns is shiny, excited even, and just a bit of pink colors her cheeks and he knows what this is about. He reaches his hand and squeezes her fingers.
Stefan notices their exchange. Taking Bekah's other hand possessively, he stands up and clears his throat in an apparent effort to get everybody's attention.
"Something stuck in your throat, brother?" Damon watches Stefan frown, he doesn't like this interruption. Good. He doesn't like being schooled like a prepubescent teenager either.
"As we're here as a family...," he starts, looking at the empty place where Katherine's supposed to sit.
"You know she had to drop Elijah at Klaus' and she wants to pick him up herself so...," Giuseppe explains for everyone.
"So, they're divorced now? Sharing custody?" Damon's curious.
Stefan's expression turns even darker as he can feel his big moment slipping through his fingers.
"No, they're taking a pause but I guess the divorce will be the next logical step. Now everyone shut up! Please, Stefan, continue..., " Rebekah gives a short nod and Damon an evil look for a good measure to stop him from opening his mouth again.
"We - are - expecting," he pauses for dramatic effect although everyone probably suspected it.
Mom lets out an 'OH' and hugs them both enthusiastically. Dad looks pleased too.
Damon smiles at the happy family moment, hugs Rebekah, and pats his brother's back wordlessly letting him know that he's happy for them.
If only it was that easy.
He does feel happy and admits they deserve it. Even though Stefan can be a pompous idiot sometimes.
He also feels a little jealous, this is something he wanted one day for himself.
But above everything, and that is the worst feeling of all, he feels he doesn't belong here. Melancholy is a cloak he can't simply let fall to the floor, and though he holds it so tight he can't find the warmth he needs, it clings. It is the anchor to his feet, the reason he struggles to find the surface or the sunshine, that feeling of soft joy that lives in memories that can't rise within.
Is there a place he can still feel at home or has he destroyed them all?
Elena isn't sure if he still uses the same number, maybe he started using it again when he came back? Since he didn't respond she has no way of knowing if he got her message or not.
As if on purpose, she hasn't been able to catch up with him since. The next day, several pupils stopped her from leaving in time, they needed some advice and she always encourages them to come to her. Then it was her long day. Today, once again it's Kol, she's fairly certain that he stepped in her way intentionally because she seemed to be in a hurry.
"Did you need anything?"
Kol watches her with this penetrating gaze of his, she's not one of the students though. Her knees are perfectly steady. She knows everything about his charm, his strengths and weaknesses even those he never shows to the world. Which makes it all even harder.
"No, just thought I'd offer you a ride. Or, even more tempting, take you for lunch?"
"Sorry, Kol, no need for the former as I have my own car and no time for the latter."
"We could... talk?"
Yes, they should... but she just wants to get home today. She shakes her head.
"Not today..." It's been a long time since she learned to say no. "Don't you have a couple of classes yet?" she asked suspiciously.
"Fortunately for me, the afternoon classes were canceled, some sixth-grade excursion," he shrugs and then broaches the elephant in the room. "So, he's back...?"
It's not a question and Elena wonders how he found out. Probably Katherine. "I... yes he is, actually..."
"I saw him last Saturday, I chaperoned the kids' trip to the gym, and Damon was there."
"Really?" Elena opens her mouth in surprise. She didn't expect that.
"Yeah, I was surprised as well." He gives her a long look and Elena suspects he doesn't like what he finds reflecting on her face. He shakes his head eventually.
"We'll talk on Friday if you're free?" she blurts out impulsively, she knows she hasn't been herself lately and Kol doesn't deserve excuses nor would he buy them. And she really wants to spend time with him.
"Sure. If that's what you want...?" he offers.
"It is," she reassures him and quickly leaves.
She won't make it home in time to catch Damon though.
Sunlight saunters in, igniting the shadowy colors of the room back to vivid oranges and reds. Having fallen asleep while watching a movie, Damon shifts onto his side and buries his face under the pillow, not quite ready to face the day. His hand circles his cellphone and he pulls it close to his heart.
"I'm sorry I missed you."
Rolling onto his back, he keeps his hand on his heart, she has no idea that those five little words mean the world to him. Raking his free hand through his hair, he takes a deep breath and lets his eyes drop closed again. Onyx jumps on his belly, saunters up to his face then without warning nips his nose, and then curls over his Adam's apple.
"Cat," he mumbles and shakes his head. He has the day off so he's in no hurry to get up, turns just slightly, and is about to try to get a little more shut-eye when suddenly the doorbell rings and rings.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he barks and drags himself to his feet in his boxers and tee shirt. Looking through the peephole, he gawps, steps back, and opens it. "Rebekah?"
"Good morning. I came to take you to breakfast," she smiles when her eyes fall on Onyx who's staring at her with her big amber eyes. "I like your little roommate," she picks her up and starts to pet her.
"What can I say, I have a soft spot for black cats," he extends his arm, gesturing for her to sit.
"Stop," she plops down on the couch keeping the kitten in her arms. "Get dressed."
"Stefan knows you're here?"
"Am I supposed to tell Stefan everything?" she arches a brow.
"I guess that's your decision to make," Damon walks to the kitchen area, pulls out his jug of orange juice, and takes a huge pull. When he sees the disgruntled look on her face, he sticks his tongue out playfully. On the way to his bedroom to change, she launches a pillow hitting him squarely in the back of the head. Stooping to pick it up, he looks up to her self-satisfied smug grin.
"You win," he laughs and disappears behind his bedroom door. A few minutes later he returns, dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. Rebekah carefully lays sleepy Onyx on the couch beside her and joins him.
"Damon, I know Stefan can be overbearing and there are times I'd like to smack him myself but you know he means well. He loves you, he, unfortunately, has a tendency to fumble around when trying to find the right words."
"My sweet Rebekah, not only did Stefan hit the jackpot when he married you, I did too," he brings her hand to his mouth and kisses it.
"Ever the charmer," she pulls her car keys out of her pocket. "Let's go, I'm hungry."
"Me too," Damon opens the door for her and then follows, pulling it closed behind him.
When Jackson finishes his testimonial, Damon gets up to pour himself a cup of coffee. The man who was sitting in the fold-up chair beside him approaches and pours himself one too. Although his nerves are jumping all together and in a dozen different directions, he can't fail at this.
"I'm Tom," he offers his hand.
"Damon," rather than be rude, he accepts and shakes it.
"You're new here aren't you?" he asks and brings the cup to his lips.
"Pretty new," he admits.
"Have you addressed the group yet?" Tom asks, nodding at a woman who walks past them.
"No, no, I haven't. Excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom," he crumples up his coffee cup and tosses it in the trash. The mere idea of stepping on stage makes his breathing rapid and shallow. Not only that but he can feel his pulse pounding in his temples.
When he comes back, he takes his seat, Tom sliding in beside him. A woman named Tammy gets up to speak but Damon's mind is somewhere else. He can feel it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of his stomach, leaving him unable to concentrate on anything. His heart starts to beat harder and a light sheen of sweat covers his palms.
Despite all the physiologic reactions crashing through his body, he manages to sit through the meeting and leaves in a calm and orderly manner instead of running like the devil dogs of hell are chasing him. Rather than go right home, he decides to take a short walk to clear his head. As he strolls casually down the sidewalk, he stops at a crosswalk and while looking around, by happenstance sees Ric and Jenna sitting next to the window in a restaurant.
As he stares at them, it brings into sharp focus how his friend hasn't avoided him at work but on a personal level, he's kept his distance. He can't help but wonder if he wrecked that relationship too. Dropping his head so he won't be seen, rather than cross the street, he turns around to go back to his car, maybe pick up a pizza and go home for the night.
After a particularly tiring day not only delivering the mail but also being chased by a dog, Damon finishes a workout with Enzo. He throws a towel over his shoulders and sucks down a bottle of water. Suddenly he hears a familiar voice, one he hasn't heard for two years. Slowly turning around, he recognizes the guy pumping iron on one of the weight benches.
Not wanting to distract him, Damon keeps his distance but continues to watch from a distance.
Enzo notices his suddenly quiet friend and moves to stand beside him. "You know him?"
"Um, yeah, he's my brother-in-law." Damon turns his head to meet Enzo's gaze.
"Oh, he's pretty good, actually, can bench press 200 pounds."
Damon nods his head and is about to turn around to go into the locker room when he hears his name.
"Is that you Damon?"
"You're probably the last person I expected to run into here," Damon approaches, shaking his hand.
"You look good," he takes the bottle of water that Enzo hands him, swallowing it down in one gulp. "Elijah mentioned you."
"He's a great kid, Nik. You and Katherine did well."
"About that, we're going through something right now, I moved out."
"I heard that you had separated, I'm sorry."
"Yeah well, you know your sister," he adds cryptically while glancing at his watch. "I need to run, I have a four o'clock appointment. Maybe we can have lunch or something sometime?"
"I'd like that, Nik."
His brother-in-law nods his head, pulls off his tee shirt, and disappears into the shower room.
Damon watches till he's out of sight, he gets Nik's thinly veiled innuendo which makes him wonder what Katherine did this time.
He parks his truck on the opposite side of the street. Feeling goosebumps erupt on his skin when he picks up the small pile of mail addressed to her. He needs to get her signature for a registered letter too. The prospect of standing face-to-face with her in just a minute or so is just as scary as it's exciting.
He takes his time to walk on the porch and hesitates a minute, pretending to organize the mail in his hands, before he raises his hand and presses the doorbell. Ninety-one... ninety-two... ninety-three seconds pass before the door flies open.
"Damon," she looks lovely, in her purely homey loose dress.
Is she surprised to see him?
"Hey," he slightly bows his head, attempting a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. His throat is dry and sore, he probably forgot to breathe in the last two minutes.
"You're late today... I mean," she stumbles over her own words, "you usually come earlier, and I..."
"Traffic," he explains, he probably wouldn't be able to get more than one word out of his mouth.
"Oh...," she adds and he tries to decipher if she wants to avoid him and this delay is unfortunate. "Good for me, I thought I missed you again, this week has been full of unexpected delays."
Her explanation sounds a little mysterious but he'll take what he can get. "Good for you indeed, today you have a registered letter...," he remembers he's here for a reason.
Elena signs the document and takes the letters from him. He can't help but notice her hands lightly shaking. "Are you alright?" The concern is apparent, it reminds her of the Damon she used to know.
"I'm okay, sorry...," she mumbles, embarrassed that he caught her off guard. She just can't control it.
He quickly nods and takes a step back. "I need to go," his eyes drop to his bulging mailbag. "I have a lot to deliver today." His lips form a grin, just for a second and although it's probably just a sign of discomfort she almost feels her knees weaken recalling the vibrant smiles and smirks he used to give her.
"What if...?"
"Yes?" he asks and somehow the moment becomes even more intense.
"What if I accompanied you for a few minutes? Obviously, you have more to deliver on this street?" It's a stupid plan but the only one she could come up with in the spur of the moment while watching him slip through her fingers once again. All their interaction now depends on how many letters he has to deliver.
"Okay...," he agrees after a short hesitation, the prospect of talking to her for a few minutes longer is incredibly appealing.
She walks beside him to her neighbors' gates and to the porch of those she's good friends with. Luckily the neighborhood is quiet today, she wants to have him all to herself. Not much is said but she still feels she's making a little progress. Only when they return to his truck and try to hold onto the last few moments of each other's company, she looks at his face searchingly.
"How are you, really?"
"I'm good." He doesn't look into her eyes but she thinks he means it. Still, it's an evasive answer.
"Damon..." She pauses, waiting for him to raise his eyes. The look he's giving her is completely vulnerable and she longs to take him in her arms. "You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear. I really want to know how are you. I want to help. I want to be there, it's all I've ever wanted..." The tremor is back.
He always makes her nervous...
"I know," he says quickly, luckily he still holds some documents and mail otherwise he'd probably do something stupid like reach for her hands to give her some reassurance.
But there's still the shadow of the new guy. Should he confront her or not?
"But you won't...," she sighs, it isn't what it is about though.
"I'm trying, Elena. I go to AA meetings, I go to work, I go to the gym. I've even visited my parents. Well, the whole pack, actually." His heart twists at her brief flash of pain, is it?
She nods, a little hurt that all his trying doesn't involve her. "Okay."
He would very much like to run. It might be the smartest course of action. But he can't help his body's reaction to her discomfort.
"No, Elena, I'm just... scared, terrified honestly. That I won't be enough. That I won't be able to live up to your expectations. That I'll fail you again. And most of all... that I've already lost."
She bites her lips as the war is raging inside her. Should she yell at him, scream in frustration? She would, but it wouldn't help one bit. And he's still not himself. "You haven't lost anything, Damon. Just yourself. But you're on the right path to get everything back."
Does she really mean that? Does that include herself?
"Haven't I?" he decides honesty is the best option here. She still doesn't understand. He pointedly looks at her ring finger and then back at her. "I'm not sure, you know? If I'm not just a bad habit of yours. I've heard..."
"Heard what?" she snaps, although the flush is rather telling. She stretches and clenches her fingers, covering the ring with her right hand. "Heard from your sister? Talk to me before you start assuming. We - need - to - talk. If you're even interested, that is. Did you get my message?"
"I did...," Damon's caught off guard by the force of her spirit. He'd prefer not to talk about it now, certainly not in the middle of the street. "I... know you deserve some answers. I can... pick you up tomorrow?"
"... Not this Friday. Can we do it on Saturday?" Is it just him or did she hesitate before answering?
"Okay...," he agrees, immediately contemplating what did he get himself into this.
"Okay," she finally relaxes, taking a step back to give him and herself some space. "I'll be home, stop by when it suits you."
It won't be easy, Damon thinks as he gives her one last look in the rearview mirror before he drives away.
The die is cast.
Is he ready to face the truth?
Apologies; I meant to update yesterday but I got caught up doing a bunch or errands and didn't get home until late in the day. Thank you all. You're amazing.
Chapter title: Ālea iacta est - Latin for the die is cast.
CosmicAdventurer is updating her stories at Archive of Our Own (same username) if you're reading her stories. Florencia7 has some Homeland stories there, too if you're interested. Her DE stories are the best- all of them. Wobalo has started some new stories. A new writer- Oiselet posted a cute one-shot called 'Bobs'.
Have a beautiful day.
