The restaurant is quite big, yet it feels cozy, tables are separated, and dim lights add to the atmosphere. Kol's face is rather unreadable, she's not used to this serious mood with him, and he's usually the one that lightens the scene.
There wasn't much talking on the way here and since they entered the restaurant they've exchanged very few words. It's only after Kol takes the liberty of choosing for her, he sips on his wine and addresses her.
"Thank you for joining me tonight. I was a little afraid you might cancel...you have a tendency to avoid unpleasant conversations."
He knows her too well. That's not the case tonight but Elena considers what's in store for them; an unpleasant conversation.
"No, Kol, I wouldn't cancel. Not with you and not about this... You realize that you insulted me with what you just said, right?"
Typically for his manners, he gives her an impish grin, and just like that she relaxes.
"No need to bite my head off, you have to admit it has been a challenge to catch you alone in the past few weeks."
"Yeah, one that has the bull and red flag effect on you," she brings her glass to her mouth.
"You know me too well," he chuckles.
The dinner is delicious. Elena has grilled salmon with Mediterranean chickpea & artichoke salad with a roasted tomato vinaigrette. Kol ordered the 12 oz prime New York Tuscano, parmesan dusted potatoes, with chili, garlic, lemon & herbs. They eat in companionable silence as they usually do, savoring the taste and the pleasing time spent together.
"Should we order dessert?" he asks when they finish.
"Not now, I'm full. But maybe later."
They spend another half hour before they finally touch the subject they both agreed needs to be addressed.
"I came here to get to know about... you-know-who... why's he back, what are your thoughts about him and what does it mean for us, but I have a feeling I don't actually have to...?"
"Honestly, Kol, I don't exactly know what Damon's plans are. It was merely a coincidence that we ran into each other..."
"He didn't contact you?" Kol's voice raises, probably without his permission.
It's a touchy topic and she's sure he can recognize her discomfort. "No, not really. But... we have talked. And he agreed to stop by tomorrow to do some more of that. He's holding down a job."
"Okay..., it's... up to you of course." It's always been. He studies her face, no matter how hard it is to read all the emotions reflecting there. After a while, Kol reaches his hand to lift hers up to his lips and it feels good that she doesn't retract it immediately or afterward.
"We should... see the new exhibit at the art museum, it might be something to do later for a school event."
"Yeah, we totally should," she smiles, gladly returning to what they both like. Funny how fast time passes when they're relaxed...
A delicate dessert and a few hours later Kol drops her at the house. Only when she's watching him drive away does it dawn on her.
They didn't actually discuss anything.
Which of them is actually avoiding?
Damon's laying flat on his back on the mat laughing along with Enzo who's lying beside him after a tough workout. It's laughter that he can feel in his lungs, so hard that it takes his breath away. The lack of oxygen doesn't matter. All the anguish of the past few days melts like snowballs on a sunny afternoon, creating a small vacation for him, a blessed relief from all the stress that every day shoves its way into his brain.
He loses the tightness in his chest. The muscles in his neck relax. After all that has occurred, he somehow feels a little lighter. Hope feels good, and with it comes the thought that maybe things will turn around somehow.
"You want to get something to eat?" Enzo turns his head to Damon.
"Yeah, I'd like a good steak," he jumps to his feet and offers his hand, pulling Enzo upright.
"I have a few things to do in the office, give me a half hour, and then we can go."
"Sure, I'll just go clean up," Damon picks up a towel and disappears into the shower room. Turning on the water, he steps in and closes his eyes, letting the spray pummel his aching muscles. Picking up the soap, he washes himself and then lets it slip from his fingers. Pressing his palms against the tile, he can't help but think about Elena and what Saturday may bring if he dares have hope.
Hope is a bright star in a hopelessly dark universe. It's not just an emotion, it's a promise that smiles and laughter can be just around the corner. Hope is drawn to the person who sees beyond the present defeat, beyond the moment of being cast down, beyond the loss of the job, and beyond the negative words of hopeless voices. There is that voice inside telling him to look beyond the darkness. Damon wants to hope but he's burned so many bridges, caused so much pain, hurt the ones he loves the most...
Sighing, he turns off the water, steps out, and wraps a towel around his waist. After messing with his hair, Damon puts his clothes back on and goes to find Enzo.
Since it's a Friday evening, they had to wait for a half hour but they're finally seated.
"Can I get you an appetizer or a cocktail?" the waitress asks, pen in hand.
"I'd like a virgin bloody Mary," Enzo tells her, opening up his menu.
"I'll have the same," Damon adds, picking up his own to peruse it.
Moments later she comes back with their drinks. "Are you ready to order?"
"Can you give us a few more minutes?" Enzo smiles at her and brings the glass to his lips.
"Of course," she walks over to the next table.
"It's on me," Damon announces, meeting Enzo's eyes over the top of his menu.
"Thanks, I guess I'll go for the steak and lobster then," he winks at his friend.
"Whatever you want. You've been a good friend, I want you to know that it means something to me."
"You're a good guy, too, Damon...My girlfriend was driving the car, we were both drunk, thinking we were fearless. I told you I woke up with a tube down my throat, what I didn't tell you is that she died in the wreck. That was the last time I drank. I'll always be haunted by the fact that it took her death to get me to see that I was killing myself."
"My God," Damon reaches over and gives his forearm a quick squeeze. "I'm so sorry."
"It was a long time ago...," he stops when their waitress approaches again. Enzo orders the steak and lobster while Damon orders filet mignon. They chat about less heavy things and enjoy their drinks while waiting for their food to arrive.
"That looks amazing," Enzo smiles at the redhead when she slides his plate in front of him along with a claw cracker and a bowl of melted butter.
Damon does the same he gets a look at his medium rare filet, his mouth waters and he groans in delight when he takes the first bite.
They're seated at a corner table, allowing Damon to observe the crowd. His eyes widen when he happens to notice Kol Mikaelson being seated and they pop even more when he sees who he's dining with.
Elena...
Suddenly he feels like a ghost in a world of paper dolls. His hand begins to tremble and some of his drink splatters onto the tablecloth, alerting Enzo that something is wrong.
"What is it?" Enzo looks from side to side, immediately recognizing Elena from a picture Damon once showed him.
"I need to leave, I...I"
Damon can't quite tear his eyes from the couple. So this is why Elena couldn't meet with him today. Of course. He should have known. He should have known it was too good to be true. He watches as Kol takes Elena's hand, gently turns it palm up, and takes his time to kiss the base of her thumb. It's such an intimate moment that he swallows thickly to overcome a wave of nausea.
Thoughts are accelerating inside his head. He wants them to slow down but they won't. His heart is hammering inside his chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin. The room spins and he has to close his eyes to try to make everything slow to something his brain and body can cope with.
When the waitress appears to ask if they need anything more, Enzo asks for the bill and a couple of carryout containers. Absentmindedly Damon pulls out his wallet and tosses it to Enzo then hurries out of the restaurant, stopping only when he reaches his car. Pulling out a cigarette, he lights it up and starts to pace while waiting for his friend. His hands are still tremoring as he stares at the cigarette between his fingers.
Mere moments later, Enzo joins him, holds his hand out for the keys, and tells Damon to get into the passenger seat. "I want a drink, Enzo. I need one," Damon fists his hands, his fingernails poking painfully into the skin of his palms.
"No, you don't need a drink, that'll set you on a path you don't want to go on again. Now what's your address, I'm taking you home," he hands Damon his wallet.
"Mrs. Flowers apartments."
"Okay," he backs out and drives, not stopping till he reaches the place. He gets out and helps his friend out, walking up the stairs with him. After unlocking the door, he's met with a meowing kitten who skitters under the couch when she sees the unfamiliar person.
"You have a cat?"
"Enzo, I don't know what to do?" he plops down on the couch, leans back, and closes his eyes, anxiety churning in his stomach like a cat 5 hurricane.
"What we're going to do is talk, I'm going to stay here on the couch. I'm not going to let you wreck your sobriety, not on my watch."
Damon rolls his head to the side and takes a deep breath. "I'm an idiot, I knew it was too late, and yet I still let a glimmer of hope slip in and now I know."
"You don't know anything. They might be two friends having a meal. And, yes, it might be something that leads to more but you won't know unless you talk to her."
"I know, but I'm fucking terrified."
"I get it," he goes on to tell Damon about his family dynamics and how he was estranged from them for quite a long time before they trusted him enough to let him back in.
After sharing cocktails consisting of cranberry juice and Sprite, Damon picks up Onyx and goes to his room, returning with a pillow and a throw for Enzo, thanking his friend profusely for helping him on this night.
"Goodnight," Enzo still doesn't trust him not to sneak out of the apartment so he lays awake long into the night. He only lets himself go to sleep after peeking in Damon's room and assuring himself that he's down for the count, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling rhythmically.
Damon startles awake Saturday morning with a loud gasp of breath. He knows it's Saturday and he promised to meet with her but now, can he? Why is it that life takes souls from one uncomfortable place to another? Sighing heavily, he throws his legs over the side of the bed and gets up to use the bathroom.
When he finishes, he goes into the kitchen in only his pajama pants, hung low on his hips to find Enzo still asleep on the couch. "Thanks, buddy," he whispers and starts a pot of coffee. Reaching into the fridge, he looks for something to make his friend breakfast, it's the least he can do.
Although Damon tries to be quiet, it's Onyx who wakes Enzo when she leaps onto his chest and starts rubbing her behind against his face. Although his eyes are still closed, he starts rubbing his nose, no doubt itching from the cat fur.
"What the?" he lurches upright, sending the black kitten airborne, landing at his feet.
Damon laughs despite himself and starts making breakfast. "Bathrooms down the hall."
Once they're done, Damon drives Enzo back to the gym, promising him that he'll call if he feels frantic again. After thanking him repeatedly, Damon drives off, even driving past Elena's house before going back to his apartment.
Dread creeps down his spine like a creepy spider leaving a trail of silk. He can almost feel its feet on his skin, descending until he's almost frozen to the spot. Just the thought of seeing her face-to-face makes his stomach feel full of lead. Although he doesn't know if he can face her today, all he can do is hope that things will eventually slip into place when he places himself on the hot seat, to answer all her questions and to find out the only answer that really matters...
He's about to put himself in front of the firing squad but as he's on his way out, his phone rings. "Mom?"
"Damon, we're grilling some burgers and hotdogs, do you want to join us?"
"Um... I sort of... No... I mean, what time?"
"You're rambling son, is everything alright?" she asks.
"What time do you want me to come?"
"Come now, you can help me make some potato salad. You're the only one of my kids who knows their way around the kitchen."
"Okay, mom. I'm on my way," he clicks off the phone.
One second passes. Two seconds pass. Three seconds pass. Guilt is eating and pestering him. A fire burns in his mind and throat. Even though remorse hits him like a sledgehammer, it's not strong enough to make him take the road that leads to Elena...
"You look... wrecked."
He doesn't bother to look up. "Thank you, Katherine. Coming from you, I'll take it as a compliment."
"What's wrong with you?"
"I could ask you the same question," his eyes finally land on her. "What's wrong with you?"
"How dare you? You, you...!"
She's furious and he doesn't blame her. But he's done taking all the crap that she decides to throw at him. Besides, he finally has a good idea of what's happening with his sister. What he isn't sure of... should he try to do something about it? Even if he could, she wouldn't appreciate it. And his life is fucked up enough with taking on her problems too. She'll fight, she will kick and screw him over any chance she gets. But wouldn't the effort be worthwhile if she would eventually leave him in peace to live what's left of his miserable existence?
"I saw Nik the other day." He didn't tell him anything but the effect his words have on Katherine, he knows there's definitely something to tell.
"What did he tell you?" Katherine barks, but... is that a glimmer of fear he can see in her eyes?
He doesn't answer, just watches her. She squirms under his scrutiny.
"I don't know why I even waste my time on you. Don't you have your own problems to solve?" She turns around and almost runs from this unexpectedly difficult conversation.
How funny it sounds coming from her, his sister with issues.
He looks at his watch and sighs. Of course, he has his own problems too. By now Elena's probably realized he isn't coming.
When they started dating all those years ago, Damon used to make something simple, or spicy, Elena loves his Italian cuisine the best. Is that why he isn't here, is he going to surprise her and bring supper? They didn't exactly make any plans other than agreeing to talk. After three hours of contemplating if she should make some dinner for herself or perhaps order a pizza, she finally comes to the realization that he isn't coming.
Elena sits on the couch in the growing darkness while the sound of the clock counts each minute that passes. So many times, she picked up her phone to check if he sent her a message and tossed it next to her as it was never the case.
Another hour passes and she turns on the computer, fearing there might have been an accident. Did she push him too far? Or is it his own personal demons that stopped him from coming to her or at least giving her a call?
She remembers evenings and nights like that, waiting for him, hoping against all hope that he'd realize somewhere in the middle of the party that he didn't want to be there and come back to her.
He never did.
So just as she did then, she decides to let it go.
Let him go.
It's not in her power to keep him if he has no desire to stay.
It's been years and she still cries bitter tears over Damon Salvatore...
Thank you all so much.
Chapter title: The Bitter Pill by Warrant.
I didn't know another one was in the works but I happened to see a teaser trailer for Jumanji: The Final Level. They have been such fun movies.
Have a fabulous weekend.
