Damon wakes up to soft sheets, and the morning light trickling in through the blinds. Shedding himself of the remaining glimpses of sleep, his eyes are still shut as he soaks in the warmth of his covers and a furry little creature before letting his blue eyes see the sun's rays.
Streaks of it penetrate the window and blind him. Throwing his forearm over his eyes, he lays there a few minutes and becomes aware of the fact that he didn't dream last night, or at least not one that he remembers.
Usually, his dreams are haunting and always the same. Sometimes they're nightmarish, other times more sedate but each night he returns to that room. There are times he's lying paralyzed, naked, and cold, at others, he has a pencil in hand and the words 'Dear Elena' appear magically on the paper.
Once in a while he can't help but wonder why it's called a nightmare when it often doesn't leave his presence even when he's awake. Last night's AA meeting was certainly tense again, not that he has trouble listening to testimonials, he doesn't. He nearly bolted when a nice man asked him to speak but he just couldn't.
Immediately his gut started churning so hard that he could taste the bile in the back of his throat. Rather than run away, he pulled a smooth beach stone out of his pocket and ran his thumb and fingers over it repeatedly while keeping an image of Elena foremost in his mind. The opportunity to repair their life together is all the incentive he needs to get through them, no matter how physically and emotionally uncomfortable the AA sessions are.
Feeling Onyx burrow in further against him, he shifts slightly and strokes her with his fingertips. His eyes drift to the alarm clock, it's closing in on 11. His heart starts ticking up a notch at the thought of spending the day with Elena. The corners of his mouth start to lift at the same time his body does. Sitting up, he throws his legs over the edge and stretches his arms above his head to yawn.
"Morning Onyx," he chuckles when she meows and creeps over to him. Picking her up, he nuzzles her with his nose and scratches her chin, letting her know she's loved. Her motor starts running so he carefully stands up, lays her back on the bed, and trudges to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.
When he finishes, he slips on a pair of jeans, boots, and a lightweight button-down. After checking himself in the mirror, he spritzes on some cologne, pockets his wallet, lifts the key fob off the hook, and hurries down the stairs, counting the minutes till he sees her.
Elena looks up at the clock, it's 12:30, and she suspects Damon will be there soon. It's lunchtime and if they go out, neither she nor Damon will want to eat anything heavy so she put together a salmon cobb salad, a recipe she found on a cooking blog.
Before he developed his appetite for alcohol, they were pretty picky in the foods they ate. The first thing she noticed after getting over the initial shock of seeing him again was that he looked healthy, he'd lost the 20 or 30 pounds he gained and he looked fit. She knows for a fact that he's been working out.
The tattoo.
She was a little surprised but her heart soared when he told her what he had emblazoned on his chest beneath the initial E, for Elena. Dr. Seuss has been a favorite since she was a little girl and the fact that he remembered that quote means the world to her.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Even though he whittled it down a little, the meaning is still there. Snapping out of her musings, she sets the table in the garden. Just as she's walking back into the kitchen, she hears the doorbell. Beaming, she goes to answer it, her impossibly large smile growing even brighter when she comes face to face with Damon.
"Hi," she greets him, stepping back to let him pass.
"These are for you," Damon hands her a bouquet of sunflowers.
"They're beautiful, thank you." she pushes the door shut and leads him to the kitchen. Pulling a vase from beneath the sink, she arranges the flowers and adds water.
"I thought we'd eat outside, I made a salad and some lemonade."
"That sounds perfect, Elena. You didn't have to go to all that trouble."
"I know but I wanted to. Let me show you around a little bit," she walks him into the bedrooms, there are three of them. The floor plan is mainly open with the kitchen, living, and dining room all in one large room. There are two bathrooms and a more formal living room. It looks very comfortable, the walls are painted white, and the ceiling fan is blowing a soft breeze.
"I like it, Elena," he wants to ask her about their house but at the same time, he doesn't want to veer into uncomfortable territory, not today anyway.
He's pulled from his thoughts when Elena asks him to carry the salad platter outside while she takes the pitcher. Together they walk outside through the patio doors. He sets it down on the table and then pulls a chair out for her, scooting in once she sits.
Handing him the salad tongs, she tells him to serve. He scoops up a nice-sized amount, fills her plate, and does the same for himself. Elena offers a homemade oil and vinegar dressing. After filling their glasses, she offers him a hunk of baguette. He smiles and takes a big bite, a groan leaving his mouth.
"This is delicious, Elena, the bread and the salad."
"I was hoping I chose wisely, I know how much you love salmon."
"You remembered," he shoots a warm smile at her.
"How was your meeting last night?" she notices when almost immediately he lets out a slow controlled breath and attempts to loosen his body movements. He gives his shoulders a wiggle and lolls his head in a circle. It's a decent effort, enough to fool a casual observer, but to Elena's keen eye, he's a walking advertisement for tension. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she lays her palm on his forearm.
"I go for you, for us, I want us to work again, Elena," he lifts her hand, brings it to his lips, and presses a kiss on her thumb.
"How about we finish eating and then we can drive up to Golden and Silver Falls, and go on a hike like we used to."
"That sounds really good," he nods, picks up his fork, and takes a bite, savoring the flavors of the salmon and vegetables.
Elena smiles at him and takes a bite herself, she hopes that he'll open up to her about the meetings because it's very obvious that he's uncomfortable at least talking about them.
An hour later, Elena parks the car, and then she and Damon get out at the Silver Falls and Golden Falls State Park. They're the second and third tallest waterfalls in the Oregon Coast Range.
They go left from the parking area for Silver Falls, walk past a white bollard, and see the interpretive sign that describes the old homesteader road they'll be hiking on. Tall old-growth Douglas-firs tower overhead, and alders, maples, and myrtles, also known as California bay laurel, shade Silver Creek.
The old road track levels among thimbleberry thickets, and they'll get their first glimpse of Silver Falls plunging over a sandstone dome. The trail now negotiates a slide that has completely obscured the road track. When they reach a fallen Douglas-fir, they are able to take a look at the falls. From the distance, the waterfall has been like a silent white stream cascading over the rocky outcrops. As Elena and Damon draw closer, the noise increases steadily until they are only a few hundred feet away.
They can no longer even shout to one another over the deafening roar of the water. Closer still they draw until they are in the plume of water vapor that hangs over the plunge pool and in only minutes they're enjoying the spray of negative ions. Their damp hair clings to their heads and around their faces, but no matter how wet they become, Elena refuses to let it dampen their spirits.
"It's just as beautiful as I remember."
"Is this the first time since you and I?" Damon asks, brushing a wet strand of hair out of her face.
"Yes," she says softly.
"Why?"
"I don't know, because this is our place, I didn't want to come alone," she meets his eyes, her heart thumping wildly when he uses all the force of his blue eyes on her.
At the same time, Damon finds himself mesmerized by the earthy hue of her eyes. They're filled with the kind of beauty that expands a moment into a personal eternity, a heaven he longs to be a part of again... Unable to help himself, he takes her hand in his and leads her further down the path.
They walk through the myrtle grove that shades the picnic area across Silver Creek on a footbridge. The footpath meanders through the woodland, weaving its way through the strong scent of wild garlic, passing by bluebells, and snowdrops, and being completely buried beneath a canopy of newly emerging buds and blossoming trees. Hoof-prints and footprints are trodden into the overused dirt path that seems to continue forever.
"It feels good to be here, the air smells so clean and fresh, I'm glad you suggested it," Damon looks at Elena, squeezing her hand gently.
"Me too, I've always loved coming here, especially that time," she winks at him.
"Haha, that was a pretty spectacular day," he agrees as they turn back onto the main trail. Soon they pass under a toppled Douglas fir nursing an entire village of evergreen huckleberry plants. They hike under sandstone cliffs and then walk through a defile. The road track now breaks out onto cliffs 300 feet above Glenn Creek to reach the top of Golden Falls, which plunges over an upper tier and then spills into the void. The falls are a force of nature, both beautiful and brutal. Tranquil from a distance but deafening up close.
Elena looks over the edge as Damon holds onto her securely. Chunks of rocks and earth slide beneath her feet causing him to pull her back. Moving over slightly, she looks over again at the cascades of water.
Damon watches her, watching the falls. She's simply spectacular, the most magnificent sight he has ever beheld. When the rocks shift under her feet and she starts to flail, he again pulls her back to safety.
"Jesus, Elena, are you trying to put me in heart failure?"
"No, but I forgot how loose the ground was up here."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Nope, but yeah, it's getting late," Elena threads her fingers with his, and together they leisurely stroll back to the parking lot for the ride back home.
It's dark by the time they get home. Elena stopped at a little diner along the Pacific Coast Highway where they had the best crab legs he's ever tasted. As he walks her up the sidewalk to her door, Elena sits down on the swing and pats the spot beside her.
"Okay," he sits down, takes her left hand, cradles it in his lap, and drops his head back to look at the sky. The sky is a serenade of black tranquility married to the poetry of stars. It's the softness that calls the body and brain to rest and let the heart go to its steady rhythm.
"I had a good time today, Damon. I'm so glad you came."
"Me too," he squeezes her hand softly.
Looking over at him, she is taken by the way he's staring blankly at the sky above. She's about to open her mouth when he starts to speak. "When I was in the hospital, I spent most of the time in my room. On nights like this, there's a special kind of blackness, the kind that wants only to hold the stars and help them shine all the brighter. I would lay on my bed, curled up, and watch the sky for hours, sometimes if I tried hard enough, I would see the face of an angel, it was your face, Elena."
He meets her eyes and gives her a smile before looking up again at the warm black hue that hugs him no matter what, and within its safety, he can feel his own soul all the more clearly, that innocent inborn spark, the one that she's ignited.
"Damon," Elena whispers softly. He wraps his arms around her and she lets her head rest on his chest. She feels him squeeze as if he needs to check she's really there with him.
He kisses her neck and a wave of pure pleasure runs through his entire body. Her natural scent is intoxicating. He kisses his way gently up her neck to her mouth. Heart thundering in her chest, following the same old broken rhythm, she opens her eyes and gazes up at him.
He is still devastatingly beautiful, and the way he holds her, the way he touches her, is the most right thing she's ever felt. Her chin trembles slightly as she reaches up to stroke his cheek, and before she knows what's happening, she's leaning into him, pressing her mouth to his, as gently and softly as she can manage. He barely kisses her back at first, just allowing her to move against him as he holds her. She tastes a hint of salt but she doesn't know whose they are, it doesn't matter. She pulls his bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling until she tastes something else entirely.
Like magic, he comes alive.
His tongue sweeps into her mouth, and he tugs her against him even more tightly, so her feet leave the ground. Through her lightweight shirt, she can feel every warm, hard inch of his chest and she feels their hearts pounding in unison.
When they break apart, Damon takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry about everything, Elena. I didn't want to be a burden on you so I stayed away hoping to get my feet firmly planted on the ground before I came to you. I defended Luke Parker, I got him acquitted which freed him to kill again. The other girl died because of me and it haunted me, and still haunts me. So, it was just easier to drown myself in alcohol...to forget. And I took it out on you and everyone I love. Shame gave me even more reason to drink...I'll never forgive myself for what I put my family and most importantly what I put you through."
"It wasn't your fault, Damon. You were hired to defend him and believed he was innocent. He pulled the wool over the eyes of everyone on that jury, too. But that's all behind us now. We've been given a great gift, the chance to make our marriage work and I want that more than anything. But Damon, you have to forgive yourself."
Damon nods and squeezes her hand. "I'm trying, Elena." He brings her hand to his mouth and kisses it, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. "As much as I hate the idea, it's late... I should go home."
"I know," Elena smiles, fully understanding that neither of them is ready to take that step... Yet.
Taking his hand, she walks him down the sidewalk to his car. He wraps her in a hug, presses a kiss to her forehead, and whispers, "I love you, Elena. I always have."
"I love you too, Damon. Goodnight."
"Goodnight. I'll wait here till you're inside."
"Okay," she starts to back away from him. When she pulls the front door open, she turns around. "Call me when you get home."
"I will."
"I'll be waiting," she blows him a kiss as she goes inside and locks the door. She moves over to the curtain to watch him drive away and when she can no longer see his taillights, she flicks off the porch light and then goes to her room to get ready for bed.
"Got home safely. Thank you for today, goodnight Elena."
Elena's sitting on the couch, legs folded under her comfortably, wrapped in an old blanket. She isn't cold but it feels warm and cozy, something she's missed since Damon left.
But not today.
Today was light, warm, and fresh and she wants to enjoy it for just a few more moments, so going to sleep is not an option... yet. She wants to recall and savor every minute of it. It reminded her of how things used to be back when Damon was a successful attorney and despite his busy schedule they always found time for these little hiking trips. They imagined, she imagined with time they'd take their kids with them too.
Strange, despite the length of time Damon had been gone, she still held onto their happy memories and happy times but since he came back, everything, good and bad is flooding her mind and she can't stop it. She wonders if it's the same for him.
It must be painful.
It is, for her, for Damon it must be almost unbearable.
She leans her head against the headrest and closes her eyes to see the images vividly.
The first day he came home drunk at the brink of dawn. Ric dropped him off on their threshold, none of them knowing it would soon become a daily occurrence.
The day she tried to reason with him and many times after that hitting the wall from all angles.
The day he left her begging, crying on the cold kitchen floor, refusing to listen to her pleas to stay at home.
The day she knew he wouldn't be able to come out of it on his own.
The day she gave up because trying was so exhausting and utterly useless.
The day he ended up in the hospital and thought she's lost him forever.
The day they made love for the last time...
The memories are all part of her. She can't just abandon the bad and keep the happy ones. She doesn't want to. Still, they are a painful reminder of their, of her failure.
But now they have a chance to make completely new memories, they've already started.
Damon brought her mail on day one.
The letters mysteriously appeared in her mailbox.
Him not showing up on that Saturday.
Damon waiting for her on the porch.
The gym, his new tattoo, and her palm on his heart.
Today... the mind-blowing kiss... her toes curl at the mere thought of it.
Today was a good day.
And she doesn't want it to end.
Her shaking breath falls on his lips but he still delays the moment of collision, he knows it won't be a simple kiss, they're too far gone to be careful. He's aware this time it's inevitable, he won't be able to just stop and take her home... she doesn't seem to mind.
He wishes he could claim he never pushed for more, except in the last few weeks he was doing exactly that. All the random touches are in the right places. Whispered words and small kisses that soon turned them into a hot mess, it was a master class in seduction. He worked for it, he knew he was good, but for the first time, he was caught up in his own game.
When her breath hitches at his closeness and her eyes widen at his confession he wants nothing more than to take her for a weekend trip and spend it all in her company alone. His heart regularly skips beats and he has to look away more than once, otherwise, he'd certainly perform something unwise and embarrassing, like falling on his knees and proposing right away.
She isn't skilled in this game and he would have had no trouble going in for the kill but... he can't bring himself to destroy this innocence and somehow he knows he will if he lets himself go. That's how he always managed to resist.
Not anymore.
Slowly, gingerly his hands slipped under her dress, caressing her sides. Her reaction is purely instinctive, she arches against his palm and it makes him tighten his grip on her and squeeze. Her body's so alive and warm he can't get enough of it. Finally taking her lips he growls into her mouth and its teeth, lips, and tongues interwoven. She gives as she gets and he melts under her palms and fingers that somehow found the way to unbutton his shirt and undo his tie without him even noticing.
Is this the dream that he's dreamt for several months now?
Slipping her dress off her shoulders, his lips immediately glued to the uncovered skin. It's smooth and smells fresh like spring flowers, he can't resist adding small bites and tasting her on his tongue.
Elena lets out an impatient sound, quickly unbuttons his pants, and pushes it over his sides together with his boxers. Before he can protest she's overdressed she does the same with her panties. The move, together with a subtle swing of her hips makes him swallow hard. And again when her soulful eyes rest on him questioningly. There's no doubt in them, she's just a little flushed and he carefully lifts her into his arms and gently lays her on the bed, immediately covering her body with his.
This is it. This is where they're past the point of no return.
She whimpers when they connect and he stops his movement until she relaxes as the initial sting of pain fades. He studies her face carefully, concerned if she's alright and comfortable. There's a tear forming in the corner of her eye but she gives him the most happy smile and it's his undoing.
She's so beautiful.
Seriously, he could cry himself at the perfection of the moment.
Slowly, carefully he starts to move and she's moving with him, pulling him into her with all the strength she possesses. -She- is the one making love to him, muffling the sounds she makes against his bare shoulder. It's like she's urging him to go faster, harder...
But he can't.
He won't hurt her and he wants to make it special. He's sure now, that there will be many more opportunities to try anything she wants in the future. But now... it's their first time. The most magical moment. This is about her. He slides his forearm under the small of her back and lifts her up to change the angle, firmly holding her in place. She cries out into his chest and he can sense she's close. A few more quick moves bring her over the edge, and he quickly follows.
As the sheen of sweat starts to cool, he rolls aside so as not to crush her, she doesn't let him move too far though. Wrapping her limbs around him tightly, her breathing slowly evens out.
"It's okay, Damon... I'm okay... I love you..."
Elena always knew what he needed to hear, even back then...
Damon's heart is beating loudly, as he recalls the dream that must have awakened him, he's fairly out of breath. She was so brave, strong, and fragile all at the same time. It was her first time but it was also his. He felt like a fucking virgin, never before experienced that the connection could be not only physical.
He reaches for the alarm clock to check the time. It's just a little past 2 am, barely an hour and a half since he got to bed. If only he could dream this dream all over again.
And then it hits him.
Damon dreamed of making love to Elena again.
One day with her and he's already healing.
Huge thank you to everyone. Blows kisses!
Chapter title: Heal My Soul by Savatage.
"Bob's" by Oiselet looks very promising. She's a new DE writer. And of course, you can never go wrong reading Florencia7's stories. Eva aka Siberia21 has one story but her stroke affected her ability to write. Hopefully, fingers crossed, she'll finish it.
Have a wonderful day and we'll see you soon with chapter 20.
