FRIDAY, 14TH OF FEBRUARY, 2014
"I'm really flattered - and I bet you're a nice guy - but I'm not looking for a relationship right now," Pacifica said, trying her best to keep her tone gentle but firm. Not an easy feat under the best of circumstances but she had unfortunately gotten better at it through experience.
"Oh," said the tall fifteen-year old, deflating at her words.
"I'm sorry," she added, recognising the look on his face and wincing internally.
"No, it-it's fine," he said, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean, we barely talk outside class, so I shouldn't have-"
"It's okay. I'm - it's not you. I'm just not looking for a boyfriend right now. And you're good in class and pretty funny-"
He perked a little at that. "I am?"
Pacifica tried a polite smile. "Yeah. So if you keep trying and find someone who's looking for a guy, I bet you'd be a great boyfriend."
"Huh." He considered that before giving her a sad shrug. "I guess…I'll see you in class?"
Pacifica nodded, smiling a little easier. "Yeah. I'll see you there."
He smiled back, the sincerity only a little dampened by some residual pain in his eyes. But he said nothing, gave her a friendly pat on the arm in thanks and walked away, very nearly hiding his hurt feelings.
Pacifica let out a deep breath. That had been one of the better examples of date offers she'd declined. No wet eyes or heartbroken expressions to make her regret her decision, and thankfully he hadn't become angry or resentful like a couple of the worst had. She still couldn't help feeling a little guilty because he really was funny and she now felt more confident he was a nice guy after taking it so well. But she wasn't looking for a boyfriend.
She continued her way back to work, glad he'd proposed outside and away from other students or customers. It meant fewer on-lookers, less peer-pressure, and less of a scene too.
When she reached Greasy's, she found Gideon waiting for her outside, bouncing eagerly and clutching his phone like a trophy. "Pacifica! Look what Mabel sent me!"
She had to grab his hand to stop him moving long enough to read the text. "Thanks for the card, I wasn't creeped out this time," she read out loud. "Okay. That's, er, great, I guess-"
"It's more than great!" Gideon beamed. "Mabel responded to one of my letters! She even complimented it!"
"I wouldn't call that a-"
"This is the best Valentine's Day of my life!" Gideon declared, clutching his phone close to his heart. "I'll cherish this moment forever. And it's all thanks to you and your help writing it!"
"I didn't do much," Pacifica shrugged. "After you toned down the obsessiveness it was-oof!"
"Thank you!" Gideon almost sobbed with joy, squeezing her tight and grinning up at her. "You're the best friend a boy could ask for after Ghost-Eyes."
"Anytime pal," Pacifica grunted, trying to push him off as a couple of people peered at them through the window with amusement. She even noticed that one of Wendy's brothers - she didn't know their names - had actually come to a stop outside the diner to watch them. She was already aware some people were spreading rumours about her and Gideon at school, she didn't need to add fuel to the fire. "Speaking of Ghost-Eyes, why don't you go tell him and the rest of your prison friends the good news!"
"You're right! I have to tell them right away!" Gideon gasped and immediately let her go to call the former inmates, letting Pacifica try to get away so she could start work.
She felt her face glowing as she tried to pass Wendy's brother - the oldest, she knew since he was a year above her - who was still watching her, and she could imagine what he must be thinking after seeing Gideon hug her like that. So she nodded politely and tried to quickly get into the building as soon as she could.
"Hey, can we talk?" he asked suddenly as she passed.
Pacifica silently cursed herself. One confession and rejection on the way to work was already a little much, she really didn't need another. "Um, I have a shift to-"
"It'll just take a second," he said quickly. "I mean, I suppose I could say it in there, but I'd rather say it privately and-"
"Okay, make it quick," she sighed. She'd rather get it over with in private, but didn't like that he'd sort of forced her into that choice, even if he didn't necessarily mean to do it. She'd have to wait and see how he reacted, then decide if he-
"I wanted to say thanks for letting Wally down gently."
Pacifica stared at him blankly for a moment, before remembering that was the name of the boy she'd just turned down. "How did you-"
"He's a friend of mine," the boy explained. "I'm Marcus, Wendy's brother. Which you probably guessed because of the hair and flannel and - sorry, you're right, I said I'd be quick." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, Wally said he was going to ask you out, and when I asked how it went, he said you'd said no but told him he was nice and funny - which he is -so I wanted to thank you for being nice about it. It went a lot better than some of the times he's tried asking a girl out."
"Oh," said Pacifica, feeling relieved. "Um, thanks. Yeah, he does seem nice, so that's a shame. But I'm just not looking for a boyfriend. I know what it's like to be turned down -"
"Wait, a guy, turned you down?" he asked, considering her sceptically. "Really?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "It was a while ago, and we're still friends, but I guess it taught me to try and be nice when I have to do it."
"Huh," Marcus said, clearly surprised. "I guess having a friend you like, but who doesn't like you back, can teach you a little about your feelings, and how to be sensitive to other people's" he shrugged, looking over at Gideon thoughtfully as the pre-teen boasted on the phone about Mabel's response.
"It wasn't Gideon, you idiot!" she snapped, turning an angry red. "It was someone else! Geez, can't a girl be friends with a guy without everyone jumping to conclusions and-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he cried, throwing his hands up in the air. "I only meant that would explain why you were so good at making Wally feel okay, and at helping your friend! I've never believed anything they saw about you two at school!"
"You don't?" Pacifica asked cautiously.
Marcus shook his head desperately to try and calm her down. "No! My sister has plenty of guy friends and she's only dated one of them. I think? Actually, that might be only a matter of time for my sister, considering her record. But there were also plenty of rumours about her having a thing going on with that Pines kid she hangs out with, so I get that people will make stuff up." He laughed. "I mean, who'd be dumb enough to think she'd ever be into a little kid?"
"...Hahahaha," Pacifica said, now too embarrassed to feel anything else.
"Anyway, I'll let you get back to work," he said, punching her arm affectionately as he walked away.
Pacifica hissed and clutched her bicep, glaring at the back of his head. She was about to insult him again when she saw that there were a pair of teenagers probably around Marcus' age, making fun of Gideon behind his back, her friend still too focussed on his phone calls to notice.
She forgot the pain in her arm as one tried to sneak up behind Gideon, probably to give a wedgie or something equally as immaturely painful, and reached for her taser. She stopped when Marcus grabbed the attempted bully from behind, lifted him over his head like an empty box, and easily carried him to a nearby trash bin where he promptly stuffed him inside.
"Huh," she said, putting her taser back in its holster as Marcus glared at the other boy, who promptly ran away. "Maybe Wendy's exaggerating about how bad her brothers can be." But she decided to hold off judgement until she at least met the other two.
"Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie!" Susan greeted her after she changed into her uniform, holding a heart-shaped box. "A nice young man left this for you!"
"Oh, that - that's great," Pacifica said, trying not to show her disappointment. Another rejection. She hoped this wouldn't be another difficult one. "Thanks Susan, I'll get it later."
"Sometimes I think you got your bodyguard just to keep all the boys away!" Susan joked, lifting her lazy eye-lid to offer a wink. "Where is that handsome young man, anyway?"
"Um," said Pacifca.
"So lonely!" Phil wailed, curled up into a ball on his kitchen floor, surrounded by love letters, chocolates, gifts, cards, and nothing at all from his ex-wife.
"He's busy. I'll get started."
The shift wasn't as bad as she'd expected. She guessed most people were looking for something more romantic than a diner.
There were still a few couples sharing coffees, enjoying the Valentines' day themed cakes, and pancakes cut into love-hearts, but not many. Blubs and Durland were there, but they were still in uniform so she wasn't sure if it was officially a date or not. Then again, she couldn't remember seeing them in anything except their uniform, so maybe it was?
Either way, she didn't have as much to keep her occupied as she wanted. So her thoughts returned to the conversations of that day. She tried to tell herself that logically she shouldn't feel bad, she had too much going on right now with studies, gaming, work, homework, school, and didn't have as much time to herself as she wanted, so a boyfriend wasn't very appealing. Besides, she had been gentle and respectful, and was perfectly entitled to say no if she wanted to.
So why did she still feel so guilty?
She thought back to when she had confessed to Dipper in this very diner, and they way he'd rationally and politely explained that he wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone. The cold pit that had left in the bottom of her stomach for days, weeks, even months afterwards before she could fully accept it. Maybe she was remembering that pain, and dreaded spreading it to others.
But she didn't want to say yes either. If only someone could offer her some advice on rejections, someone with plenty of experience in that regard.
"Hey, Pacifica. Do you, like, actually have to be a couple to qualify for these buy one, get one free deals?" Wendy asked, jerking a thumb over her shoulder to indicate her friends sitting at a booth.
Pacifica stared up at her, her eyes wide. "Maybe Dad was wrong and there is a God!"
"What?"
"Nothing. Hi, Wendy! Would you like a Valentine's red velvet cake? On the house?"
Wendy looked at her suspiciously. "Are you trying to get me to kill someone or something?"
"No! I just need - wait, is that all it takes to get you to - you know what, never mind. I just need some advice about guys."
"This better not be as weird as the last time you asked for my advice," Wendy warned her, remembering their conversation behind the diner after she'd confronted Pacifica for poisoning her with a truth serum. "If you're going to have those kinds of thoughts you can go ahead, but keep me out of them and-"
"No, it's not - shut up!" Pacifica turned pink and looked around to check no one had heard her. When she was convinced no one had, she quickly summarised some of her experiences to the older girl, hoping she could offer some sage wisdom gained through her vast experience.
Wendy shrugged. "Date them if you want, don't if you don't want to. Simple as that."
Pacifica let out a frustrated sigh. "That's not the problem! I know I don't want to date them. But I don't know how to let them down without feeling bad."
"Then, I dunno, why not give it a shot?" Wendy asked, leaning over the counter to try and reach for the cake she now felt she had earned but Pacifica seemed to have forgotten about. "You say you're not ready but you might be surprised. That way, if they're good, you don't have anything to worry about, and if they're bad just dump them and move on."
"That's even worse! What if they're good or at least okay, but I'm still not into it? Then what do I do?"
"I've had plenty of relationships like that," Wendy said, putting her reward in front of her and raising the fork for her first taste. "It's easy: just ignore them 'till they get the message."
The fork hit the counter as Pacifica yanked the cake away, glaring at her. "What?" Wendy demanded.
"That's your advice?" Pacifica demanded. "Ghosting them? Even I know that's not the way to treat people!"
"Hey, what's wrong with that? I've dated plenty of guys I couldn't be bothered with. And like you said - rejecting or dumping them can be too much hassle." She shrugged again. "This way, I avoid the effort. Now if you don't mind, I think I deserve that cake and-"
"You giant hypocrite," Pacifica said, pulling it out of her reach, no easy feat considering the lanky teenager was still somehow growing.
Wendy stopped, glaring back. "How am I a hypocrite? I just told you that I've done it plenty of times. I'm not asking you to do anything I haven't."
"That's not the attitude you had last time!"
"What does that mean?"
They continued to glare for a few seconds before Pacifica let out a tired sigh. "Do you remember what you said to me when those women stole our bodies last summer?"
Wendy thought hard. It wasn't a pleasant memory - which of course meant she could remember it annoyingly well - but wasn't sure exactly what the deal-breaking blondie was referring to specifically. "I'm pretty sure I insulted your family. Then I made fun of your nightgown, and some of your toys and posters when we were in your room. I'm sure I swore at you a couple of times-"
"You said that you didn't think I was good enough for Dipper and was worried I'd end up hurting him," Pacifica said with surprising patience as she returned the cake to its case.
"Oh, yeah. That. Okay, but later, I admitted I was wrong about you and-"
"What if you weren't? What if I had dated Dipper, then when it didn't work out, decided to just ignore him instead of ending it to his face."
"Well, Dipper would be - he'd be heartbroken." Wendy frowned as she thought about how her friend would react. "Actually, he'd be worse than that, he'd be devastated. Huh." Wendy considered that for a moment, knowing he'd likely spend weeks beating himself up about it, wondering what he'd done wrong and feeling terrible but probably unable to understand that it wasn't his fault.
She shook her head, not very happy with that image or how it made her feel. "Okay that - yeah. But that's just one example. Dipper's a sensitive guy, most of them don't-"
"Your brothers."
"What?"
"What if it was Marcus and your other brothers? They don't sound very sensitive. How would they feel if someone treated them like that? How would you feel if someone treated them like that?"
Wendy hesitated. She wasn't sure. They were Corduroys, and Corduroy boys at that. Feelings weren't the family strong suit, especially not for the men. But they were still young and as far as she knew none of them had been on a date yet, though she'd heard Marcus was getting popular. Would they be fine with it? She probably would, if it happened to her. Wouldn't she? Sure, she'd had a few bad breakups, but she'd gotten over them. Okay, not immediately, and some of them had hurt worse than others. But she had gotten over them.
And most of her exes were jerks anyway; trying to change her or holding her back, or mistreating her or her friends, or insulting her family or - or ignoring her. After she'd agreed to take a chance with them and open her heart, even slightly. Something so hard for her to do after…
After the day her mother had left, walking out on her husband and children without bothering to say goodbye. What that had done to her and her little brothers. To her father, the toughest man she knew.
It wasn't the same as ignoring someone's texts, or passing them in the halls when they were trying to catch your attention. Wasn't even in the same ballpark. But it was still far too close to home for her liking.
"Are you - okay?" Pacifica asked, worried by the intense silence as Wendy stared down at the counter.
"I think," she began, then paused as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "I think you're right. That's not the way most people should be treated. Most of my boyfriends have been jerks. But I think if I stop and think back on it, maybe some of them weren't as bad as I remember. And maybe I was the jerk, not them. But either way, I should have dealt with it instead of just ignoring them."
Pacifica hesitated then put her hand over Wendy's. "You once told me to apologise to the people I wronged. It was hard, but it was the right thing to do and helped a little. Maybe you should follow your own advice."
Wendy gave a mirthless chuckle. "Guess I've got some apologies to make. But it's funny - you ask me for advice, and end up giving me some instead. Weird how that worked."
"It's Gravity Falls. Weirdness is everything here."
Wendy laughed. "True that! But seriously," she said, more seriously. "I don't think you need advice about what you're doing, from me or anyone. You feel bad because - because you're a good person and you don't want to hurt them. All you really need is a friend to talk to afterwards, help convince you you did the right thing."
"Gideon has been a very good listener," Pacifica agreed, looking out the window to where her friend was now talking face to face with Ghost Eyes and a few others from his time in prison.
Wendy made a face. "Ooookay. But I meant someone maybe a little older, and who can be a bit more mature."
"Well, Phil is also-"
"You know what, Gideon's fine," Wendy grunted. "Can't believe I'd rather pick Gideon Gleeful over that Irish idiot," she muttered.
Pacifica shook her head, then pulled out the heart-shaped box from under the counter. "Here, take some," she offered. "I know who this is, and I would have turned him down anyway, so we might as well enjoy the chocolates he bought for me."
"Eh, it's not red velvet but it'll do," she smirked and took a few. "Then again, it's not everyday people say that a Northwest shared something with them." She glanced down when Pacifca let out a gasp, her eyes wide. "What?"
Pacifica stared at her, her mouth open. "Y-you're right," she managed through her shock. "I'm doing it. After all this time, I'm finally doing it!"
"Doing what?"
"I'm - I'm…sharing!"
Wendy stopped chewing. "Um. 'Kay? What's the big-"
"I'm sharing something!" Pacifica cried so loudly and suddenly that Wendy jumped back. "And I'm even saying it right!" The young blonde teen let out a delighted cackle and ran out of the diner with her hands in the air. "Gideon! I finally understand sharing! And I'm pronouncing it right too! Best Valentines ever!"
"I do not get rich people," Wendy sighed, slipping off the stool to rejoin her friends.
"What the heck was that about?" Tambry demanded.
"Don't know, not gonna ask," Wendy answered, taking a seat. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure the deal is only for couples."
"Haha, suckers!" Robbie cried as Lee and Nate groaned.
"Why don't you two just pretend to be a couple and I can pretend to be dating - wait, where's Thompson?" Wendy asked.
"Restroom. And I don't want to pretend to date Nate!"
"Would you rather pretend to be dating Thompson?"
"I've come to my senses and suddenly realise how much you mean to me, dude," Lee said, turning to his friend and putting a hand over his heart.
"Aw, true love!" Nate sighed, blinking his eyes thematically as he rested his cheek on his interlocked hands.
"I mean, it was either you or Thompson, so I wouldn't be too flattered - off!"
"What took you so long anyway?" Tambry asked Wendy as Robbie rolled his eyes at the pair laughing and punching each other, as they always did.
"Pacifica wanted some advice on boys."
Robbie scoffed. "And she came to you? Geez, she must be desperate considering your dating history."
"Robbie, you're my ex. You're insulting yourself."
"No, I'm insulting past me," Robbie corrected. "Old Robbie was a jerk. Current Robbie is-"
"Still a jerk?"
Robbie scowled as Lee and Nate sniggered. "Okay, sure. But I can admit it now! And I'm way better than I used to be. Ain't that right, babe?"
"Idiot," Tambry grunted, typing away.
"Okay, that kinda hurt," Robbie admitted as Lee and Nate snickered away.
Tambry looked up. "What? Oh, no, sorry. Dad texted me to say that he and Mom aren't going out at the end of the month, they're delaying it till next month. Party's cancelled guys," she said to a series of groans.
"What about this weekend?" Robbie suggested as an alternative. "You said your parents are out then too, we can-"
"I'm camping with my family."
"Lee and I have got tickets to go see Scarves Indoors."
"What about Thompson?"
"Dude, who do you think's taking us home? We won't be fit to drive after partying so hard!"
"Cops are right over there," Wendy reminded them.
"Uh, because we'll be so tired from the dancing, or too wired up from the totally non-alcoholic sodas we'll be drinking!"
"Nice save guys."
"Great, guess it's next month then," Tambry huffed, putting her phone down in exasperation.
"Doesn't have to be that way for us," Robbie said.
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "I'm free, it can still just be you and me. We can make it romantic,have a nice meal then have some fun. Heck, I can even spend the night."
Tambry blinked at him in surprise, taken aback by the suggestion while Wendy's eyebrows shot up and even Lee and Nate were stunned into a rare silence.
Robbie looked at their faces, puzzled. "What? What! What's the big deal? I only asked to spend the night at my girlfriend's house while her parents were awa- oh crap I just realised what I said!"
"You are an idiot," Wendy told him with a shake of her head as Lee and Nate started nudging each other.
"No!" Robbie cried, then suddenly lowered his body and his voice for fear of being overheard. "Tambry - I swear that's not what I meant! I only meant sleeping! With yours! At yours! Not with you - I wouldn't do that! I mean, I would! But only if you wanted to! Which you don't! Unless you do, in which-!"
"Shut! Up! Robbie!" Tambry said through clenched teeth, blushing hard.
"Yeah, okay," he said meekly, shrinking down into his seat, turning red from shame and embarrassment.
"Hey guys, is everyone ready to order yet?" Thompson asked as he returned and took a seat. He looked around at an embarrassed Tambry and Robbie and a chuckling Lee and Nate. "What'd I miss?"
"Don't ask," Wendy sighed, dropping her chin into a hand and already wanting this whole day to be over after so much romantic drama.
"We were just talking about some things," Lee grinned, ignoring Tambry's warning look.
"What things?" Thompson asked before someone could stop him.
"One of us getting lucky at Tambry's!"
"Bow chicka wow wow!" Nate added, moving his arms rhythmically.
Thompson choked and turned to Tambry, horrified. "You told them?!"
"Shut up, you idiot!" Tambry screamed at him, getting the attention of the whole diner.
"Wait, told them what?" Robbie asked, the most confused by his normally impassive girlfriend's reaction.
"Oh, my God!" said Wendy, lifting her head from her hand as she looked between them, the first to realise.
"Uh, nothing," Thompson said, turning red and staring intently at the menu.
"Forget it, sure come over the weekend, spend the night, whatever," Tambry muttered. "Can we place our order, please?" she called out desperately.
"No, come on, tell us," Nate encouraged. "Why are two so - oh. Wow." he said. Then he shut up.
"What?" asked Robbie, frowning.
"Yeah, come on guys, what happened between you - oh. Oh! oooh!" said Lee, blinking in surprise.
"What?" Robbie snapped, growing irate as his friends started avoiding eye contact with him. He looked between Tambry and Thompson, trying to figure it out. He saw the way Tambry was blushing and Thompson was sweating even worse than usual, and both were avoiding eye contact with him. In fact, it wasn't just with him, they were avoiding it with each other too. Avoiding even looking at each other in fact. It was almost as if-
"Oh, God, NO!" he screamed, his eyes going wide. "No! NO! Why, Tambry? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"
"It was one time!" Tambry screamed at him, blood rushing to her face. "And you and I weren't even dating then, so who cares?"
"With Thompson!?" Robbie screamed back, Thompson caught in the middle and trying to shrink down further. "Are you kidding me? Do you know what this does to my insecurity? How? Why?"
"It was Summerween! We snuck a few drinks from my parents cabinet, we played spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven, one thing led to another-"
"Robbie, I swear, it meant nothing," Thompson squeaked from the floor. "It only happened once, I was terrible, Tambry was great, I bet when you get your shot-"
"Shut up! Shut the hell up!" Robbie roared, reaching under the table and failing to drag the cowering, heavier teen out. "Get out here and face me like a man!"
"Um. No? Can't we just talk about this?" Thompson pleaded.
Robbie let out another scream in answer and decided if he couldn't drag his friend out, he'd crawl under the table too, and started lashing out, pummelling with everything he could muster in his matchstick arms.
"Tambers, you had booze and didn't share it with your pals?" Nate shook his head in disappointment. "Getting it on with Thompson's bad enough, but that's just wrong."
Lee laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. "Bet you're glad you didn't ask her out now, huh? Even you've got standards!"
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Tambry screamed, launching herself across the table at them, clawing and kicking. "I'LL KILL YOU, DEAD!"
Wendy looked between her fighting friends, deciding she wanted no part in any of this and slowly backed away. Then she felt a jolt of surprise as she realised something. "Huh. so this is what it feels like to not be the violent one in a group," she said as Blubs and Durland, resentful at having their Valentine's meal ruined, waded in with police batons, tasers, and pepper spray.
"The heck's going on in there?" Gideon demanded from outside. "Don't you want to check it out?"
"Who cares?" Pacifica asked, squeezing him tight. "I'm so happy! Your lessons finally paid off! You're the best friend a girl could have!"
Gideon let out a weary sigh and patted Pacifica affectionately on the back. As much as he cherished his friendship with Pacifca, sometimes he wished she wasn't so tactile. If she kept this up, people were likely to talk.
