Hail to the Brat Prince
Otherwise known as: How far over the done scale is Rufus Shinra today?
Final Fantasy VII
Characters: Many, All the Turks, Rufus, Zack, Angeal, Sephiroth, ect...
Rating: T
Notes: Hello everyone and welcome to Hail to the Brat Prince. Where all the chapters and ficlets within are centered around the derptastic shenanigans of the Shinra employees (And Shinra-affiliates) and their everyday lives. With some appearances by other non-Shinra people from time to time.
Inspired by Chaos Silk's "Shades and Surprises" and "Proper Prodecure", and also paying homage to the Letters From Shinra RP she hosts, this series will be taking place in said Letters-verse so if you're unfamiliar with this verse, just know that it's very AU and derp-filled.
Dedicated to: Chaos Silk first and foremost, because of the evil, evil conspiracies and plots we cook up and the crack we put one another up to. Also to ALynnL, KageStefan, Muse, and Torayashachan. Aka my other partners in crime and most of them are also fellow participants in Letters From Shinra.
I'm also putting a warning here for you kiddies that pairings are going to be inconsistent and cracky and pretty much everyone/everyone but most of all, Rufus/everyone, everyone/Shisun, Reno/pants and Reno/inanimate objects. And plenty of other random pairing shenanigans.
Also note that since Letters-verse is AU, events of the games may or may not have happened the way they did in-game (or at all, for that matter), characters may still be alive, and people formerly working for Shinra may still be doing so, ect. And that pretty much, Rufus rules the world and has absolute power. Prez Shinra died in some hilariously tragic event and it's up to Ruru alone to hold shit together and not just press the glowing, big 'blow everything up' button.
I suppose since this is going to include the Before Crisis Turks and all, I should put a list of who's who with the names I've given them so you all won't get confused.
Before Crisis Turk Names:
Hirushima, Kana (Rod)
Okunawa, Shisun (Nunchaku)
Matsude, Kizu (Two Guns)
Cissnei (Shuriken) (Though I'm sure most of you know this since Crisis Core and all)
Natsume, Kido (Knife)
Izune, Keiji (Katana)
Arlene/Emma (Gun) (Left her without a last name due to not knowing Elena's and I prefer the name Arlene)
Ookana, Rizuo (Martial Arts F)
Ikashi, Hitsuto (Martial Arts M)
Watanabe, Yuni (Shotgun)
So, with all of this said, I hope you know what you're getting into. Without further ado, I present to you the first of many chapters of 'Hail to the Brat Prince'. -bows, steps off stage-
The Laser Incident.
Otherwise known as: What really happened to make them build the Shinra Building ontop of the Plate.
Some of you may wonder why the Shinra Building was built on the plate above Midgar. I mean, why the hell would you want to build a gigantic building like that ontop of possibly unsteady pillars on a metallic plate above a city?
Well, my friends, the answer is:
Because the idiots-and by that I mean the Shinra Employees (Namely the Turks and a few well known SOLDIERs)-pretty much destroyed the original Shinra Building and forced the construction of a new (and improved, much, much improved) headquarters.
Now, the official documents and records on file will claim the damage and cause was from the whole Zirconaide and Jade WEAPON incidents and the damage from their attacks, but the truth is far, far more obscure and more horrific than that.
What really happened, in unofficial, off-the-record reports that only the former President Shinra, Rufus, and Tseng and/or Veld possess, can be boiled down to is this:
President Shinra was an idiot who didn't take into consideration the true destructive force his own Employees could be when they decide to take their boredom and the means to alleviate it to the extreme.
Considering the fact all of the Turks and SOLDIERs are a bunch of super-enhanced beings, you would have thought the man would've built a suitably strong headquarters that could withstand their force, no matter the situation.
Alas, this is not the case because as you and I already know: The President was nothing more than a warmongering, brainless idiot.
So now you're wondering what really happened to decimate the original HQ, right?
Alright, then. Brace yourselves, people. I'm going to tell you.
Ready?
Here we go.
... ... ...
The truth behind the destruction was started by one, single little laser pointer...
Tseng felt his eye twitching in annoyance as he strained to keep his mind on his paperwork and not the distracting, infernal red dot that kept skittering across his page.
He could more than feel Reno's smugness from across the room, and as it was, Rude was more than content to let his partner continue his shenanigans because if it wasn't bothering him, it didn't concern him.
Likewise, none of the other Turks in the general vicinity were willing to let themselves become the next scapegoat-or victim-as it were, of the redhead's boredom.
So this left Tseng with his growing annoyance and mental fortitude to ignore the redhead and wish in some off-hope that the laser pointer's internal battery would die or spontaneously combust, but he knew that was wishful thinking.
He was about 3/4's of the way through his work, when suddenly another red dot skittered across his paper from the other side of the room-his eyes immediately tracked it as it zipped past his desk and over to the other side where it started drawing patterns on Reno's face. His eyes immediately swung to the opposite side to see Kana smirking cocky-like, reclined back in his chair as he pointed his own laser pointer at the other redhead in the room.
Tseng felt his blood turning cold. Something told him this was not going to end well at all and he should get the hell out of dodge before things went ass up in a hurry.
But before he could come up with a thought to put a stop to it, it was already too late, Reno was retaliating and practically shining his laser directly at Kana's eyes and that pretty much prompted the other Rod user to retaliate.
Things only escalated as the two saw fit to take their childish game farther and began introducing mirrors into the mix-where the hell did Reno get that hand-mirror?-and suddenly the lasers were practically reflecting in every direction and this caused the beams to disrupt several of the other Turks in the office, and bring their attention to the shenanigans.
With a cry of annoyance, Yuni threw her magnifying glass she was using to inspect an item with at Kana's head and bounce it off. If only she knew what this would lead to...
Several of the other Turks were getting very annoyed by the constant laser light show happening and distracting them from their work and when Kana picked up the magnifying glass and held it up to the laser and pointed the beam at a mirror-the result was:
A highly concentrated laser beam bounced off the mirror and hit Rizuo's computer and fried a hole in it, shooting electrical sparks and smoke everywhere.
With a startled cry of surprise, the fist-fighters eyes swung wildly around before fixing on the surprised, if not pleased look the red head had on his face.
"HIRUSHIMA, YOU ARE DEAD!" The woman roared and leaped from her chair and made straight for the Rod user.
Reno by this time had already taken this opportunity to acquire (Read: Steal) a magnifying item of his own-Kido's appraisal crystal-and secured it (IE: Super glued) to his laser pointer. Grinning like a child who had a new toy-which is pretty much what it amounts to-he proceeded to draw a line across the room. Thankfully no one was in the path of it, because if they had been, they would've been cleaved in two by the high powered intensity of the crystal.
As it was, there was a clean cut line across the floor, up the wall, and to the ceiling. There were some loud screams that came from the room on the other side of the wall and a few explosion-like noises happened.
"Holy shit, yo. I think I found my new best friend." Reno called cheerily, petting the object in his hand fondly and kissed it like it was the most precious thing in the world.
Kana was busy trying to ward off Rizuo's punches but everyone else in the room froze at Reno's action.
Tseng could only mildly stare in a state of numbed horror, sitting back in his chair as he watched all of this happen.
As it was, plenty of the other Turks were now getting up in arms.
Suddenly, the door burst open and Zack came running in.
"Whoa, guys, what was with the explosions? Sephiroth's whole computer and desk suddenly blew up and Angeal's monitor now has a hole in it!"
He didn't have to look around the room for long to see the carnage and the shit-eating grin Reno had on his face to piece together some things. He may be redundantly stupid in the uptake of some (most) things, but when it came to honing in on chaotic details, he seemed to have an inner radar that led him to know who caused what, when, and if he should join in or not.
Needless to say, the minute Reno waved the laser pointer at Zack, the SOLDIER First was all over this, practically gushing and tackling the redhead like a child, yelling, "LEMME SEE THAT!"
And as the two wrestled, the laser pointer suddenly went off again and as they jerked their arms to and fro, it was drawing lines across the place and everyone in the room was forced to duck, jump, and practically dance out of the way of the line. Suddenly, the two did a full spinning circle as their arms wrestled downwards and drew a line in a circle around them.
Time slowed.
Tseng's eyes widened dramatically, and everyone seemed to be taking in a sharp, deep breath.
The floor creaked and groaned.
The two arguing idiots didn't notice.
And suddenly the floor beneath them gave way and they fell through down to the next floor with a loud scream.
And suddenly time started in full motion again and Kana was warding Rizuo away by threatening to slice her with the laser and would fire it warningly at her feet. The Martial artist was not going to be deterred and reached into her pocket to pull out an item before taking a running leap at the rod user.
Startled that said woman would bull rush him even with his threats, the Turk panicked and pointed the laser straight at the woman and clicked the button.
Everyone watched with mixed reactions of horror and shock, but before any damage was done, the beam was deflected and instead burned a hole through the wall directly on the side of the rod user's shoulder. Rizuo had pulled out her compact and used the mirror to reflect the beam and thus avoid being shot through with the beam and reared her free hand back and punched the redhead in the jaw before ducking to the side and used her other arm to knock the other Turk's arm off balance before making a grab for the laser pointer.
Unfortunately, neither managed to grab it and it dropped to the floor and when it did, it must have knocked something loose in the pointer because when it fired off, the beam was much more intense and bright and practically _blasted_ a hole on the opposite wall with the intensity of the magnifying glass attached. (Kana had pretty much taped the glass to the pointer before Rizuo had attacked.)
Hitsuto and Keiji had to dive out of the way and were only milliseconds from being fried and as it was, Hitsuto's already messy hair was even more messed up-scorched, and part of it fried off. The very end of Keiji's pantsleg and shoe was scorched, and the heel of his shoe melted.
If only this was the end amount of damage the building took, but no, the yelling from the floor below belonging to Zack and Reno continued and Tseng continues to just sit there in his chair in silent, numb horror at it all.
Angeal stepped in to see what the commotion was about and perhaps drag his dumbass pupil back, but the moment he took a look at the room, with Rizuo trying to strangle Kana and the others attempting to comprehend the situation-not to mention the huge hole in the floor with the commotion from below happening-he glanced at Tseng and took in his still in-shock expression and slowly, carefully, stepped back outside of the door and closed it before quickly making a beeline for another room.
As much as he dreaded asking Sephiroth for assistance, by the looks of things, it was _definitely_ going to be needed...
By the end of the day, 3/4's of the whole building was destroyed, Zack in the recovery ward with yet another concussion bolted to his hospital bed, Reno with two broken arms in casts and boltes down to his hospital bed as well, Kana on probation with a dislocated jaw and Rizuo with three cracked knuckles, Sephiroth with scorched hair-some sections of it shorter than others, and in the end: one big expense bill for Tseng to handle as well as new Blue prints from Reeve to go over for the new building.
To all the other Turks, it was basically the Day to End All Days.
At least, it was.
Until the Company's Annual Reception Ball Incident happened...
But that's another story.
-End, To be Continued...-
