'Best intentions
They rise they're spreading like fire
Angry young men
Wanna change the world
They're young a little bit wild
Angry young men
With their hearts of gold
Hearts of gold
They break it to make it better
They think that they can do it better
…
Angry young men
Wanna change the world'
[Angry Young Men; All Good Things]
Four
I watch Kat jerking the door open running from the room feeling as if the ground has opened up and every nighttime terror I've ever had has come to pull me down to hell with them. I badly need to go after her but I know that if I tried it would just hurt her worse.
She hates being hounded when she's upset. That always reminded me of some of the cats that roamed the residences in the Abnegation area. Pets weren't allowed in the faction, but it didn't stop some people from 'claiming' one or two and leaving out food for them. So it resulted in cats that weren't quite feral but not exactly tamed either. When they got hurt they would lash out, because that was their instinct to protect themselves even if it was someone trying to help them.
That was Kat back then and it's even more of who she is now. Still…even knowing this...I can't not try and go after her.
I start forward but am instantly brought up short when someone grabs the back of my shirt and swings me back into the room. I whirl on him, not realizing it's Chase until he snarls at me and pushes me back away from him. I had completely forgotten he was in the room with us.
If I weren't such a wreck and feeling the urgent need to go after Kat, I would be shocked and admittedly fearful of the expression on the usually calm man.
"Leave her," He growls out angrily, looking like he's working very hard to keep from punching me. "She sure as hell doesn't need your kind of help anymore." He mumbles and turns away from me with a look of disgust in his eyes.
Pain and guilt threaten to consume me, but still I'm not willing to just let Kat run off on her own feeling like she is. I turn back to the still open door, only to see Tris. She's standing with the others who are all looking between the room and where Kat just ran out of. The others look confused, and conflicted.
But Tris…she's looking right at me with fear and worry in her eyes and I know she's also wanting something from me. For me to either ease her worry or maybe even tell her to go be with her sister.
Right now, I can't do either and seeing her at this moment after seeing what I did about Kat deepens how much I failed not only her little sister, but her as well.
I cannot stand to look in those eyes knowing what had almost happened to her. What I had been trying to convince her to do. The second she dropped into the net I knew I had been being an idiot. There was no way I could have survived without her with me. I had been an idiot for thinking that she would be better off not transferring to Dauntless because of doubts, suspicions and worry of what this place would change her into.
What I didn't know until now is that I would have been subjecting her to the same fate as me, and as Kat, had suffered at the hands of my father. So I slam the door and try to ignore the flash of hurt I caught in her eyes when I do.
I turned back around to see Chase at the terminal I was just going to head to.
"What are you doing?" I ask, already walking over there bent on deleting the footage.
Chase barely glances up to me as he replies. "Sending the footage to Max and Jack for.."
I don't even let him finish before I am trying to push him away to stop him. "No. You can't do that. Katie wouldn't want…" Then the lights exploded in my head.
Before I could react I was on the floor and another punch landed to my face before I heard Chase growl in what sounded like frustration. He hauled me up and shoved me against the wall with his hand at my throat and murder in his eyes.
"You know shit about what Kat wants! Because if you did then you would know the last thing she would want to do is hide what that fucking piece of scum has done for another damn day. You would know that she has been working for years to keep her family safe and find a way to bring him down. You would know that despite how bad her dreams keep her up at night she isn't backing down and will testify face to face when we get enough evidence against him."
Chase stops for a second and loses a slight amount of the murder in his eyes. "I'm finding it very hard to keep in mind that Kat would blame herself if anything happens to you; so I'm going to give you a chance here. Give me a reason I shouldn't haul your ass in now and throw you in a cell for obstruction of an ongoing investigation, faction treason, and any other charges I can get to stick?"
"You think you are going to be able to get anything to stick on him? He'll just weasel his way out of it. He always does. Why do you think he so easily got out of it when Katie got involved? There were ten elders and leaders there the day she came to my house…and they all walked away believing every lie he spit out. He even convinced her dad that she was lying. That's how conniving he is."
Chase doesn't let me go and I am actually glad of it. My anger is raging now that I am past the shock. Her sim was more of a memory than an artificial simulated scenario. I should know, I had something very similar in my own fear sims. What is stuck in my mind right now is Marcus admitting that he had arranged in the past for her and Tris to either be severely injured if not killed outright. My guess is that was before Tris and I ever became friends. And after…he hurt her over and over again. He invaded the Prior home and had Kat pulled out in the middle of the night by those men. Not one person other than Kat was aware it ever happened. That was how easy it was for him to get to her and the lengths he went to just to make his point made of how much her family was in danger.
What's he going to do when he gets wind of the investigation?
"He'll just get out of it in some way and then he will go after Kat and her family. He won't let them survive."
"You better hope he doesn't. Because if he does I promise I will take him out and you along with him for being such a coward that this happened in the first place."
Chase shoves away from me angrily and goes to the sim room door.
"Need to get this shit over with." He grinds out and whips open the door. He calls the next name.
I can't hide the bruising or blood, but I could attribute that to Kat's sim, considering it wouldn't be the first time. I have a second to wipe everything else feeling wise from my face as Tris comes into the room. I see the flash of hurt before she sits in the chair. Especially when I let Chase handle everything to get her setup while I stay at the terminal.
The rest of the day passes in a blur of sims and initiates but I'm only half present on what I'm doing. The other half of me is trying to sort through everything that's happened and what I can do to help.
As soon as the last initiate is gone I bolt from the room, leaving Chase to finish up and do the cleaning of the room.
I head to my apartment right away and sigh when I open the door to find Tris there already.
"What happened to Kat?" She asks quietly when I come to sit beside her on the bed.
I push a lock of her hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. "The same thing that happened with her last sim, she had a bad reaction to it."
She stabs her lower lip between her teeth and I can tell she wants to ask what it was about. It isn't the first time she has fought that battle before. I refused to tell her the last one but it hadn't mattered because in the end Kat herself had shared it with her and all the other initiates.
It takes a few quiet minutes but she nods. "You'll tell me if I should be worried, right?"
I give her a tight smile and nod, knowing that is exactly what I wouldn't be doing. She leans into my chest when I pull her into my arms. I breathe her in as something clicks into place for me. I might not know what to do or how to help, but there are two people I know that I can turn to for guidance.
I wait until Tris is asleep before I slip out of my apartment. My first stop is Zeke. I need him to cover my tracks on leaving the compound. I feel like he's been avoiding me lately but I'm not sure why. I've honestly been too preoccupied with Tris and Kat to be paying attention to the things going on around me like I should be.
I find my friend in the control room and when I motion him to a quiet and secure spot, he looks like he might be about to refuse me for a second before he follows. Something is definitely up, but I don't have time to really find out right this second.
"Zeke, I have to leave but I can't be seen leaving, so I'm going to need you to cover for me tonight." I don't ask for this kind of help often, though I've asked a few times since Tris got here.
He has never hesitated before but he does so now. He crosses his arms over his chest and eyes me. "Not sure I can do that."
I frown and look around. "Want to elaborate on why?"
"I heard about an incident in sims today. I was asked to keep an eye out on all the parties that might be concerned regarding it." He replies flatly.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me and anger flares up in me. Did he know this whole time what's been going on with Katie?
"So you knew about all of that and didn't think to tell me?" I hissed out angrily.
Zeke gives a mirthless chuckle and shakes his head. "Seriously, Four? You're the one that abandoned her and you think you're the one that has the right to be pissed off?"
I close my eyes and sigh as I back down. "I didn't think he would do what he did, Zeke. Believe me I wouldn't have left if I thought she was really going to be in danger. Not because he isn't capable of being violent with people but because I honestly have always thought it was just me he had been that way too. Everyone else, he just used his position to manipulate and make their lives hell. But I know now…like I should have all along and I'm going to try to help. Really help this time. It might be years too late but I have to do something. That's why I need your help. I might be able to talk to a few people who can help with the investigation or at least might have an idea of how to slow him down from finding out about it.
I hold my breath and hope my friend believes me. Not just for the sake of helping me tonight, but also for our friendship. He lets out a resigned sigh and nods as he rubs the back of his neck. "I'll try and buy you some time."
I nod then reach out and clap a hand to his shoulder, gently squeezing it in thanks. He nods back with a small grin on his lips as I pass him by. I need to hurry since there is a train that should be passing by shortly.
As I hurry through the compound I keep replaying Kat's memory sim. I'm still just as angry at myself as I was feeling at the time I was watching it, but now I'm feeling angry at Marcus and the entire system that's allowed me, my mom, Kat to be abused like we had been.
How many countless others have had unspeakable things done to them with no one there to help them?
I used to tell myself that it was useless to tell anyone what my dad did to me because nothing would ever come of it, other than maybe more pain for me, and I believed him. So I never said anything, I denied it when I was asked about my fear sim. I kept it inside and in the dark…but now I'm willing to let that happen.
More than that I make a silent vow to myself. If anything else, I would be making damn sure Marcus wouldn't be able to interfere with him meeting justice for his crimes. Death would be too good for him but who said he needed to die to be stopped?
For years the mentality was beat into me that I should always look to the needs of others. That my own pain and suffering meant nothing because it was all in the service as others. I'll say this for the man, he did his job well. Too well and it would be his downfall.
That's the vow I make to myself as I stand in front of my mom's door. I will risk whatever, do whatever it took to bring him down. Not for what he did to me…but what he did to my mom, to Katie and to make sure it never happened to Tris.
***** Worth Fighting For *****
Eric
Chase's head is in his hands and he is rubbing it, as if doing that will help him absorb all the information I have just given him.
"How does someone survive all of that shit and come out like she has?" He mumbles while still looking down. He raises his eyes to meet mine and I can only shake my head.
"Asked myself the same thing. Look at me. Look at Four. Neither of us have gone through a tenth of what she has but…."
"It made her stronger."
I nod and sip my coffee. "She's still…I mean she is wounded from it but…yeah, it's made her stronger."
He lets out a sigh and rolls his head and shoulders to work out tension from his day. "Well, you're not going to like what I'm about to tell you, but I think we should hold off on bringing Four in for questioning."
I tense and look at him coldly but he holds up a hand to let him continue. "We got into a bit of a scuffle when I was encrypting the sim and getting it ready to send to the rest of the team. He wanted to delete it, hoping to help Kat and I let loose on him. I told him about the investigation and warned him that he would be brought up as well if he played any part in it."
"Okay, you've lost me." I scowl and shake my head. "Warning him about it actually means we should do it now before he tries something."
Chase's smile turns feral. "Oh but that's exactly what I think he's going to do, Eric. Only whatever he ends up doing. I think it's only going to help us with the investigation and to protect Kat." He sees my disbelieving look and shrugs. "You didn't see him in that room as we watched the sim, or as he talked to Kat…but especially after she left. Four hasn't been willing to lift a finger for himself, but his dad went back on his promise. Four knows a little of the pain Kat went through now and I think that would have been enough. Add to all that, his father actively threatened and attempted to kill his now girlfriend..."
He trailed off and I still wasn't following. I got what he was hinting at, but this was Four we were talking about. He wasn't going to do shit.
My brother saw this in my eyes and expression.
"I'm just saying, brother, you didn't see his eyes. You might not like the comparison, but they were a mirror of yours after seeing Kat hurt."
"But still, what do you think he's going to do, go after his dad?" I huff out incredulously at what he's suggesting.
"Maybe. I don't know for sure. I think, at the very least, evidence might soon turn up that will either help with the investigation even more or to help protect Kat. At the best, and this is what I'm really hoping for here, this gives us our in for contacting Amar."
That does give me pause thinking of how it could play out. I don't expect Four to seriously go after Marcus, not after his done everything he could to avoid and deny any connection with the man. But if we can leverage that, his in action and what it might have allowed to happen because of it, then maybe it might just be worth it to let him think he's gotten a pass for now.
I hear Chase's phone go off in the kitchen where he just went to fill up his coffee and look over his way to find him smirking at his phone. "Zeke just sent me an alert that Four left the compound."
I lift my eyebrow and smile a little as I pull up the investigation documents we've decided to go over while we're up.. "Guess we'll have to see if Four gets a reprieve."
