Itachi stared at me.

He stared at me like I was unreal, like this was an impossibility.

While I was overjoyed to see him again, rushing over, he…

… did not look happy to see me back.

I stopped myself before I could hug him.

"Itachi?" I stepped up more slowly. "It's me. Ayae. I, ah, cut my hair."

I knew how stupid that sounded. As if Itachi couldn't recognize me with short hair.

But he was not excited to see me the way I was excited to see him. And he never wrote back to any of my letters. And he never came to say goodbye.

All those things made me falter. I did not know if a hug was something he welcomed from me anymore.

In fact, seeing me, he looked almost…

Terrified?

But that could not be. We were family. We were friends. We liked each other…

…didn't we?

"You're here." His voice sounded strained.

"Surprise?" I laughed nervously.

"Why?"

I did not understand his question. Why did I… come back to Konoha?

I decided to be honest.

"For you."

Itachi did not understand my answer.

His gaze flickered to everyone around me, then back to me again.

In the end, he extended his palm. He did not want me outside the village like this. He did not want to continue our conversation surrounded by people.

I accepted his hand, and he flickered me back to his house.

I was confused why he brought me to his family's bathroom until I looked in the mirror.

Oh.

Yikes.

I brought my shirt up for a sniff.

Double yikes.

Itachi did not comment on it, quietly helping me clean up. He ran a hot bath and found me towels and a change of clothes.

He also got himself cleaned up.

It was only as I watched him splash his face in the sink that I registered his indoor clothes. He hadn't been on duty today, but came to me straight from home. He came barefoot.

"I'll be downstairs," he told me.

I glanced at the bath. I hugged the towels and nodded.

He left with my bag, shoes, and dirty laundry.

The bath was very inviting. I didn't stay to enjoy it, furiously scrubbing shampoo and soap on myself at the same time, and then dumping the bucket on me.

I didn't do the best drying off job either, running down the stairs with a towel messily thrown around my neck and my change of clothes all slightly damp.

"I didn't mean to leave," was the first thing I blurted out.

Itachi's hand paused before the kettle.

"That week we had that massive storm. The one right before my graduation? I went to see Tomoe. It was stupid to see her alone, I know, but she— and I—" I inhaled and inhaled. "I didn't mean to ignore you. I didn't mean to pretend everything was fine. Tomoe— she messed with my memories—!"

"I know."

We sat at the table. He sat down first, and I followed without thinking, sitting where I had sat a thousand times. This kitchen was as much my home as it was his.

Neither of us touched the tea.

"I could not bring myself to do it. So Lady Tomoe stepped in. I'm sorry, Ayae."

I recovered.

I stammered. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally get it! I know…"

How evil the village was.

How they dealt with treason.

How what we did was most certainly that. Treason.

"...how it complicated things," I said weakly. "And I don't want to get you in trouble either, like if any mind-readers were to catch me and, and I get it! I don't mind blocking that part. It's just… I hate that she made me forget everything else you said that day too."

My shoulders lowered.

Itachi had really saved me, when he got me out of the ninja system, got both Konoha and our clan off my back. But he was still in it. He was still stuck in it, and instead of helping him like he had helped me, I stupidly turned my back and left him.

I shook my head.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is, I remember now, and I'm here."

"For me," he clarified.

"Yes! Yes!" I said, glad we were on the same page.

Itachi seemed to take this information in. He took a deep breath.

"Did something happen at the Fire Capital, Ayae?"

"Huh?"

"I was unaware you had been dissatisfied there. I apologize for not being more… attentive… and for making you come all this way," Itachi said quietly, closing his eyes. "Can you be more specific about what it is that you want from me?"

"What? I don't want anything from you. I—"

"Ayae."

Itachi kept his eyes closed, his breath even.

"For once, can you request of me something reasonable. Something I can realistically give you, something that is not just me, because I cannot do that, Ayae, I can't do that."

I was at a loss for words.

When I realized what he was saying, my face got redder.

And redder.

"ITACHI, YOU DUMBASS," I half-screamed, half-cried, kicking him repeatedly under the table. "FOR you. Not, for YOU. I'm not here for you to do things. I'm here to do things for you. I came to help you, you idiot, not pick you up!"

I palmed my face. Oh my god. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Worse, I couldn't even blame Itachi for jumping to that conclusion. My younger self would have definitely come back just to collect him.

Itachi understood me even less than before. At this point, I might as well have been speaking gibberish.

I took a step back and tried again.

"Itachi, I'm sorry for making you wait. I'm sorry it took me so long to get it. I was looking at things topsy-turvy before. Everyone acted like it was all good and normal, so I thought it must be good and normal, but it's not. Nothing that happened to us… nothing that happened to you was—!"

There was someone at the stairwell.

Someone who had woken up despite Itachi's attempt to keep everyone asleep.

Aunt Mikoto needed a moment to check I was not also a genjutsu.

"Ayae dear?"

.

Breakfast was awkward.

Aunt Mikoto made too much food. She was so dazed I was here that she had already cracked through a whole carton of eggs before realizing that was too many.

She was making us tamagoyaki, then.

Itachi's dad did not welcome my surprise visit.

Itachi was quiet.

Sasuke, also quiet, made uneasy glances at everyone when he thought no one was looking.

It was Aunt Mikoto who broke the silence.

"That is a very nice haircut, Ayae dear."

"Ah, err, thank you!"

"It is… permed?"

"As it turns out, my hair is naturally curly," I said, sweating.

Sasuke's eyes shot in my direction, his expression confused.

Itachi's dad did not react well to that either, as I expected.

I was offended that he found that so offensive.

"Short does look cute on you," Aunt Mikoto said, trying to ease the tension in the room.

Chopsticks clicked.

Aunt Mikoto tried conversation again.

"How was the Fire Capital?" she asked. "We're all terribly sorry for not being able to make your dance performance. I know you trained hard for it. We've just been… caught up on so many other things, but please do know that we wish we had been there."

I could see the guilt on Aunt Mikoto's face.

"Oh no, no, no! It's okay! Everyone is super busy, totally understandable, don't worry about it. I just gave your seats to my other family—"

Not the right words.

"Other family?" Aunt Mikoto echoed.

Not the right words.

I winced.

"My, ah, park family…"

Aunt Mikoto was taking this in.

"I see…"

"... and also my mom's side," I mumbled very fast.

"You have three families?!" Sasuke demanded, just as I ducked behind my rice bowl.

"Don't be silly, you're still my main family," I said, laughing nervously. "I mean, I only knew my park family for a few months. And my mom's side, I… I didn't even remember them until last week! It wasn't with them… I lived… all these years…"

They were just a bunch of people I met…

Who stood up and applauded during my big moment…

Who hugged me tight and told me how much they loved me…

How proud they were of me…

Promising to support me to the very end.

I went quiet.

I remembered something.

I looked around and saw where Itachi had put my backpack.

I grabbed it and brought it back to the table, where I started shuffling through it.

"I brought souvenirs!"

Now this was going to put all of us in a good mood. I had gotten everyone lucky charms. I had brought back incredible snacks too. I started dumping everything out.

I excitedly showed Sasuke the bag of cheese-tomato potato chips. And for Itachi, matcha pokkii!

"And gardening gloves for you, Auntie!" I said, handing the pair to Aunt Mikoto. Aunt Benadetta had helped me with that one.

"What is this?" Sasuke asked, holding one of the items.

It was a curly pipe. Except instead of blowing smoke, it blew bubbles, and had the words THIS IS NOT A PIPE written on the side.

I giggled. "Oh, that's a prank gift for Shisui." I took it back. "Sorry, this stuff I'll bring over to Auntie Asa's."

My mind was too focused on the gifts. I failed to notice the sudden quiet all over again.

Aunt Mikoto lowered the gloves.

"Ayae dear…"

"Hm?"

"There's something you need to know before seeing Aunt Asa."

"Yeah?"

I looked up from my backpack when, after waiting, Aunt Mikoto still did not respond.

I saw her expression.

"Auntie?"

Aunt Mikoto still could not respond.

She only continued to look helplessly at me, as if facing an impossible task, like someone had asked her to scoop the moon or net the stars.

"Uchiha Shisui is missing."

I jumped. I forgot Itachi's dad was still here.

I looked at him.

"Missing?"

"We are handling the investigation."

I blinked.

"How long has he been missing?" I asked.

"Since last month."

Missing for a month…?

"Why is he missing?" I asked.

Itachi's dad was surprisingly patient with me.

"That is part of the investigation."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Well, we should look for him then," I said. "I'll help look. We'll all go look, right Auntie? After breakfast, we'll just all go—"

Sasuke blurted it out. "He's dead."

I stared at him.

Itachi's dad did not have anything left in him to scold him.

Aunt Mikoto did not have anything left in her to comfort us.

Itachi stood up and left.