Thanks to you lovely people who've left reviews! I'm so happy my humble little stories are amusing you! I had written a few chapters ahead but then I got covid & now don't have a backlog. Which is not ideal. So there may be days without stories or days with three stories (apologies for your inboxes if you're following the story... also, please follow the story!) but the goal is still 25 little stories in the end, by Christmas.
Kind of like if you open all the little doors on your advent calendar at once or forget & don't open the last seven until Christmas Eve.
Anyway, thanks again and please keep letting me know what you think!
Day Seven: Will A Cheap Imitation Ever Do the Job?
Jack whistled loudly through his teeth, bringing silence to his house. Technically it used to be his house, anyway, and Landry's name was on the title now. But Landry was in London for a conference, and Jack assumed a working vacation with his ex- slash soon-to-be wife, and so it was not his just then. He was fairly certain he was getting the house back soon anyway, since Kim was working her magic to get Hank into a much fancier house in the mountains. And all of that real estate confusion aside, Jack was gravely offended by something and needed to address the issue.
"Did you want something? Or were you just practicing your whistling?" Sam asked, only just barely keeping her giggles under control.
He couldn't bring himself to scowl at her, but he did realize he'd lost his train of thought for a moment. "Right. Sorry. Who can tell me what this is?" he said, pointing at the fireplace.
"Fireplace," Vala chirped, her voice free of judgment about the odd question.
Jack nodded at her. "And this?" he asked, pointing at the screen mounted about the fireplace. He was mildly annoyed Landry had mounted a television about the fireplace but that was an issue for another day.
"Television," Vala said again.
Ignoring the looks everyone else was giving him, and the fact that they were ignoring his questions, he simultaneously stared directly at each of them in turn. It was a habit he'd picked up as he rose through the chain of command and, truth be told, it was one of his favorite things he'd learned. "Thank you, Vala. Do you happen to know if a television gives off heat?"
"Not if it's in proper working order," she said confidently. "If it is, it's probably time to buy a new one."
Almost certain that she wasn't the culprit, he nodded. "Correct. Now can anyone explain to me why there is not a fire in the fireplace but there is a fire in the fireplace on the television?"
"There were only like two pieces of wood in the woodpile," Sam said a little meekly.
"And that seemed like too much trouble to try, and probably spend an hour on, starting a fire," Daniel added.
Jack barely resisted the urge to throw his hands in the air. "One, if you two don't know how to start a fire I'm going to order you to take survival training again. Two, there is an entire forest outside. Forests are made of wood ready to burn. Especially ones on my land, so go get some."
Daniel didn't want to take survival training again so he didn't point out that it was technically Landry's land. He instead asked what Jack was doing, since he'd sat down on a bench by the front door and started yanking on a battered old boot.
"I'm going to chop something," he said in a tone that suggested it should have been obvious. "Possibly an entire tree but definitely enough firewood to have a real fire going because this tinned muzak and pixelated fire are offensive on principle."
"You seem upset," Daniel offered blandly.
Vala looked alarmed when Jack growled. "I've never chopped a tree, down or up. Would you like some company, or at least help toting chopped wood back here?"
His mood changed in an instant. "Now that's the sort of Christmas spirit I want to hear. Come on, Vala, getting your own tree at Christmas is a generations old O'Neill family tradition that I'm happy to make you a part of."
Her return smile was more dazzling than any of the ornaments on the television screen.
