I'm not sure if I've ever been more determined about anything in my life than I was the moment TPD tried to pull Casey from my arms.
"She's not going anywhere, except back to Rangeman with me," I said.
"Santos," Eddie said, in an even and soothing voice that only served to piss me off more. "She needs to go to the hospital. She needs a psychiatric evaluation."
I tightened my arms around Casey as I narrowed my eyes at Gazzara. "What she needs is some God damn understanding and someone to actually give a shit about her."
"She'll get that at the hospital," Eddie said.
"Bullshit," I snapped. "She spent time in the hospital earlier this year and they dumped her at a rehab facility that didn't do shit for her. No." I shook my head. "I'm not going to let them lock her up in some padded room and shoot her up with Prozac or some other drug she doesn't need."
Eddie raked a hand through his hair. His sigh was heavy as he looked at me. "Les. Please be reasonable. You know as well as I do that a psych hold is protocol."
"It's wrong," I argued as my fear continued to build. If I let them take her away from me again, I might lose her forever. I knew it wasn't a logical thought, but right now, logic and reason seemed to be beyond my abilities. Maybe it was the adrenaline still coursing through my body which was causing me to not think straight.
Eddie motioned to Casey. "Look. She's not injured, so maybe they'll let her go earlier than the standard 72-hours. Also, they're not going to shoot her up with drugs so long as she doesn't try to harm herself or anyone else."
"Les." Bobby moved next to me then placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling my attention to him. The resolve in his gaze made my stomach twist with nausea. "You can't help her like this. Let them do their job."
I shook my head as my fear ratcheted up another notch and panic slowly took hold. I was the only one here who understood what she'd been through and how desperate she was. She needed someone to lean on. Someone who understood her and would take care of her.
"You can come with her," the paramedic offered. "Stay with her until she's settled. Maybe they'll even let you visit her until she's released."
"Lester," Eddie began again. "I don't want to have to arrest you. Please, take the offer the medics are giving you."
"Les," Bobby said. "You can't help her if you're in jail."
Knowing I was outnumbered, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. God, this sucked.
The feel of Casey moving against me had me opening my eyes and looking down at her. She pulled back enough so she could tilt her head up to meet my gaze. My heart cracked at her expression of resolve. Her eyes were still red from crying, her cheeks still damp with her tears. Yet even she knew this wasn't a battle I was going to win. "I'll go with them. I don't want you getting arrested because of me."
Hell! If she was willing to go, I couldn't stop her. The nausea churning in my stomach began to climb up the back of my throat as I stared down at her. "I'm going with you," I finally managed to reply, my voice hoarse with emotion. She pulled away but took my hand as we made our way to the ambulance and stepped up inside.
"I'll meet you at the hospital," Bobby called right before they closed the doors.
The paramedic named Mandy eased Casey onto the gurney and then began checking her vital signs. "Don't worry," she said to Casey. "Everything will be okay. We're gonna get you some help."
I damn near snorted at her statement. The system had the opportunity to help her nine months ago and it failed. As far as I was concerned, they weren't going to get a second chance to screw her over.
It took less than ten minutes to make it to St. Francis. With every minute that passed, I could see Casey slowly shutting down and my heart hurt even more. Once we arrived, just like every other situation involving the emergency room, I was stopped by a nurse standing at those damn 'Authorized Personnel Only' doors.
I was grateful when the paramedics paused to give me time to say goodbye to Casey before they whisked her away from me. "I'm not going anywhere," I said as I cupped her face. "I'll be right here waiting until they let me back in."
She nodded; her expression was nearly blank now.
"You're not alone," I whispered as I pressed a kiss to her temple. "Remember that for me. You're not alone."
With that, they disappeared into the inner sanctum of the ER and my heart surged with frustration at the sudden loss of her. Feeling completely useless, I turned to look around the mostly empty waiting area, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. She's alive and the doctors and nurses were not going to let her do anything to change that while in their care. We were going to get her through this.
When I opened my eyes again, I spotted Bobby rushing through the entry doors, carrying Casey's well-worn backpack. I angled a thumb toward the inner doors and on a nod, he pushed through them to head toward wherever they took her.
On more than one occasion we'd all been grateful for Bobby's hospital privileges. However, I'm not sure I'd ever been more grateful than I was right now.
For several seconds, I stared at the inner doors while I struggled to get my emotions back under control. Knowing her current mental state, I had to get my shit together because I was going to need to be strong for both of us.
"Les?" I jumped at the sound of my name and turned to see Ram and Binkie staring at me. Way to be aware of your surroundings, Santos!
Ram held up his hands. "Easy." He then motioned to my chair. "Sit and try to relax. We got your six."
Not finding the strength to argue with him, I sank into the chair and leaned forward to rest my head in my hands. The great thing about having a partner like Ram, was I wouldn't have to explain myself to him. After so long working together, he knew what I needed and right now, I needed to think not talk. Flanking me on either side, Ram and Binkie dropped into the empty chairs. Knowing they did indeed have my back allowed me to focus only on Casey.
I'm not sure how long I sat like that before a pair of black Bates boots appeared in front of me. I shifted and looked up to see the regret on Bobby's face. My stomach clenched in response. Why did I have a feeling I wasn't going to like what he had to say? "Casey?"
"Is being kept for the full seventy-two-hour evaluation," Bobby replied.
I took a deep, calming breath. That information didn't come as a surprise since it was standard protocol. "When can I see her?"
"Les." The tone in his voice caused had me tensing once again.
"No," I said as I looked up at him.
"It's protocol," he replied.
"Fuck protocol," I said as I shot up from my chair, my anger and frustration back in full force. "She needs a friendly face. She needs to know somebody fucking cares about her."
"She knows that," Bobby replied, his voice remaining infuriatingly calm. "I explained the situation to her. She knows that you want to be here for her, but hospital rules prevent it. She also knows that you'll be here when she's released."
"I promised her," I said even as my anger began to fade, giving way to desperation and guilt.
"I know you did, but this is out of your control," he said. "The good thing is, because she was brought in with us, the hospital is considering her under Rangeman's protection. So, I'll be able to check on her status and get updates every day she's here."
"Then what?" I asked. "They're going to want to release her into the care of family. You heard her back at the bridge. She doesn't have any."
"I already called Tank, who reached out to Doctor Cochran. He's good friends with the head of the psychiatric department here. He's also agreed to take on Casey's care as a favor to Rangeman. With his help, we'll be able to get her released to us." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "The staff here aren't the ones who did her dirty, Les. So, you need to believe that she's in good hands. Besides, there's nothing more we can do right now, anyway."
"I feel horrible leaving her here," I said as I looked back at those God-forsaken Authorized Personnel-only doors. "I feel like I'm abandoning her, just like everyone else has done to her."
"You're not," Bobby urged. "We're not. This situation is different."
"How?" I raked my hand through my spiky hair. "Back in January, we handed her over to the hospital and walked away and we're about to do it again."
"Back in January, you weren't nearly as invested in her as you are now," Bobby replied. "That means I and the rest of Rangeman are invested too." He clapped a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Remember what Steph said. We're a family and we take care of our own."
Instinct had me nodding in agreement, but the lump in my throat prevented me from speaking. I still didn't see how leaving her here this time was different.
Bobby sighed. "I know this is hard, but she didn't fight coming in and she's being super cooperative with everyone. So, I don't see her staying more than the seventy-two-hour hold. Especially, after Doctor Cochran sees her. In the meantime, we need to head back to Rangeman and formulate a plan for when she's released."
I knew he was right but leaving still felt wrong on so many levels. I lifted my hand as my mind struggled to articulate an argument, but after a moment I dropped it to my side in surrender. I wasn't going to win this battle, so there wasn't any point in wasting more energy trying to fight. "Yeah, okay," I eventually replied. With Bobby's hand still on my shoulder and Ram and Binkie flanking us, we turned and walked out of St. Francis.
