The cabin was cozy with two couches and a working fireplace that helped to keep the women warm. Since having them sit closer to the fireplace also allowed me and Hal to be the ones more exposed, I was all for it.
"These are amazing," Casey said as she picked up another Crabfries and paused. "Why are they called Crabfries when they look like regular potato fries?"
As hard as I tried, I couldn't hide my smile as I exchanged glances with Hal and Kristina. Sometimes Casey could be so damn cute. "Precious, they are regular fries. They just cover them with the same seasonings that they'd use on crab dishes."
Her mouth formed a silent O as she held a French fry in her hand and looked at each of us. "Oh, I feel so stupid."
"Don't," Kristina said before I could. "It's a mistake anyone could have made. Especially since I think Crabfries might be a regional thing."
My cell dinged and I reached into my pocket to retrieve it. My brow was knit when I realized the text was from Hal. We're being watched. This is why I wanted to bring someone else with us. Having an extra set of eyes made sense when I knew I might be distracted.
I looked up to meet his stare, then followed the direction of his nod. On the far side of the fire pits, a man wearing all black, including a black ski cap, leaned against the corner of the indoor lodge. His attention was completely focused on our direction.
As Steph would say, my spidey senses went on immediate alert. Casey was having so much fun, I didn't want to ruin her evening by cutting it short, but my gut was screaming that it was time to leave. I texted Hal. You take the women to the car. I'm going to see if I can catch up to the suspect. Just follow my lead.
He replied with a quick 10-4.
I pocketed my phone, then turned to face the women. "I'm so sorry to have to cut this short, but that was a text from Rangeman. Hal and I are needed back at base to take care of a situation."
Casey's smile faltered just a little and I wanted to kick my ass for disappointing her.
"Since the food is already in to-go containers, we can take it with us," I offered, hoping that would help to soften the blow just a little.
"Well, okay," she replied. The disappointment was clear in her tone. "If you have to work, then you have to work," she said.
The girls packed up the food as Hal and I stood. "Hal will take you back to the SUV. I'm just gonna run over to the reservation desk and let them know we had to leave early, so the cabin will be empty."
Once Hal was ushering them toward the parking lot, I headed in the direction of the man. Not surprisingly, the moment he realized he'd been made, he ran. I gave chase, dodging and weaving around people as I followed, but he had too much of a lead and with the crowd being so thick, it didn't take long for me to lose him.
Deciding it was best to cut my losses, I returned to the SUV where Hal was standing guard outside of the vehicle. "No dice?" he asked as I approached.
I shook my head. "He made me before I could get close enough."
"Damn," he said as he turned to open the door.
You said it, pal.
Years of military training allowed me to keep my tension from showing as I pointed the vehicle toward Trenton. The last thing I would want would be to make Casey upset. That didn't stop me from keeping an eye on the rearview and side mirrors. Hal followed my lead and kept his emotions hidden while he continued to keep a lookout. The last thing either of us wanted was a tail.
Once we made it back to Rangeman and I had Casey settled into our apartment I headed down to Five and called Hector. Penn's Landing had cameras everywhere and I needed Hector's expertise to connect to them.
It didn't take long for him to gain access. The guy wasn't too smart, because it only took me twenty minutes to find him on the video. The shot wasn't as clear as I would have liked, but I ran it through our computer program to clean it up a little before I took a screenshot and downloaded it. I'll hand out copies of this at tomorrow morning's meeting.
With that task complete, it was time for me to head back up to the apartment and see if I could maybe salvage some of this date.
It only took a couple of minutes to make it from my office on Five to my apartment on Six, but those minutes felt like hours as I climbed the stairs. Maybe it wouldn't have felt that way if I hadn't been debating with myself the entire time. I didn't want Casey to worry or be afraid, but I was already wrestling with the guilt of not telling her the truth earlier.
How could we build a strong and meaningful relationship if she couldn't trust me to be honest with her? I paused with my foot on the next step and smirked as I considered that thought. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about perpetuating a lie. Either to get what I wanted or for self-preservation. That was the old playboy, Lester. The Lester that existed before Casey.
By the time I reached the apartment, I'd firmed up my decision to come clean. I closed and locked the apartment door then turned to go in search of Casey. Hopefully, she wasn't already asleep. No way would I be able to rest with this weight on my shoulders and I couldn't afford another night of shitty sleep.
I'd only managed two steps when I spotted her in the kitchen. She picked up her cup and turned to face me. "Lester, you're home. Did you get the problem resolved?"
"For the moment," I replied while my distracted gaze raked over her. I'd been used to seeing her in modest pajamas. Usually, they were long cotton gowns with long sleeves. Only tonight she was wearing something completely different. Yes, it was still a long gown, but instead of being made of cotton with long sleeves, this gown had spaghetti straps. The baby blue material appeared to be some sort of satin with a delicate lace trim. The long-sleeved robe she wore over it was the same color and made from the same material. Somehow, she managed to look both sexy and innocent at the same time.
I crossed to where she remained rooted in place, then reached out to feel the sleeve of her robe. "This is new."
"I bought it when I went shopping with Stephanie," she replied.
My eyes widened as my gaze met hers. "That was nearly a month ago."
Her expression turned sheepish as her attention drifted to the mug she was holding. "It took me this long to work up the courage to wear it."
Considering her upbringing and everything she'd been through these past few years; I could understand her need to be covered. To make this leap meant she was becoming more comfortable and confident. Another credit to Doctor Cochran and his work with her, I'm sure.
"You're gorgeous," I replied, then forced my attention to the cup in her hands. "What 'cha drinking?"
"Hot chocolate," she replied. "Would you like some?"
Having her make me a cup would buy me a few more minutes to formulate my thoughts. "I would love that. Thank you."
Once she'd supplied us with hot chocolate, I steered her into the living room. "I'd like to talk to you about something," I said as I motioned to the couch.
Her brow was knit and I could tell she wanted to say something. Instead, she eased onto the couch next to me.
I set my cup on the coffee table, took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. Here goes nothing. "I wasn't completely honest with you earlier."
"Okay," she murmured as she followed my move and set her cup on the table.
"The text I received that caused us to leave came from Hal."
The crease in her brow deepened. "I don't understand. Why did Halden text you when he was sitting across from you?"
"He spotted someone watching us and he didn't want to worry you or Kristina."
Her eyes widened in fear causing my gut to twist in response. "Someone was watching us?"
I nodded. "Since I didn't know the level of the threat, I made the decision to have us leave in order to protect you."
"So, when we went back to the truck-"
"I went after the person," I said, cutting her off.
She sucked in a quick breath. "Lester! What if the person had been armed? You could have been hurt."
"I was armed," I replied even as my chest warmed with her concern for my well-being. "Plus, I'm trained in hand-to-hand combat. Nothing was going to happen to me."
"Still," she murmured as she reached for her cup. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."
The pure emotion that came with her words washed over me like a waterfall, filling my empty soul with love and joy. I wanted to reiterate how that wasn't going to happen, but in this line of work, I knew better than to reinforce that kind of promise. "I always try to be careful," I said, "But if God forbid, anything ever did happen to me, I want you to know you'll always be protected. Rangeman is more than just a company. We're a family and since you're now part of that family, that means you'll always have protection."
Instead of replying, she took a drink and stared at me from over the edge of the cup. Deciding maybe it was best to let the subject drop for now, I followed her lead, picked up my cup, and brought it to my lips. Much to my surprise, it wasn't some instant version. Instead, it was rich and sweet and was by far the best hot chocolate I'd ever tasted. "This is delicious."
Her frown slowly tipped into a grin. "Thank you. I made it from scratch."
She took another drink. When she pulled the cup away, a tiny spot of whipped cream clung to the corner of her mouth. When she parted her lips to say something else, I followed my instincts and leaned over to kiss her instead.
Her breath hitched as I brushed my lips against hers. Lingering, I savored the feel of her soft lips against mine. Just as I was about to pull back, she yielded, allowing me to nudge her lips open to stroke my tongue against hers. Somehow, I managed to have the wherewithal to pull away long enough to set my cup down, then take hers from her hands and set it next to mine.
When I turned back to her, the look she gave me was so powerful I nearly forgot to breathe.
I reached out to caress her face in my hands as I went back to her for more. Once again, she responded in kind. So, I took the kiss deeper and deeper until we were lying on the couch with me half on top of her. "I love you so much, Precious," I whispered while I rained kisses over her face. "I will always do everything I can to help you make this your safe place."
I wanted her to not only feel safe, but to feel love, joy, and pleasure. And I wanted to be the man to make each of those emotions happen. For several minutes I continued to enjoy the intimacy of the kiss. Then, her hand slid from where it rested on my back to stroke over my chest, then it moved to my waistband. Her fingers curled into the fabric of my shirt and tugged, and I damn near lost all train of thought.
I pulled back just enough to help her drag the shirt over my head and dispose of it somewhere on the floor. My muscles twitched as she raked her hands up my abdomen and then over my chest. "Is it wrong that I've wanted to touch you like this since the first time I saw you shirtless?" she asked.
Her question pulled a smile from me as I covered her hands with mine, holding them against my chest. "Not at all."
She curled her fingers beneath mine and her short nails scraped against my skin. "I can feel your heart beating," she whispered.
"It beats for you." Yes, the line might have been a bit cheesy, but it was how I felt. Somehow, over the last year, she'd worked her way not only into my life but into my heart.
The arousal was clear in her eyes as she stared up at me. "Lester…" she breathed. I let go of her hands and ran mine over the satiny fabric of her nightgown. I hadn't noticed it before, but she'd finally started putting some weight back on. I ran my hand over her hips, enjoying the subtle curves developing.
"Lester," she repeated while she grazed her nails across my chest a second time. "I want you, but I'm nervous."
"Then…" I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her collarbone, the swell of her breast. "We'll take this as slow as you need." I raised up so I could see her face. "Do you trust me?"
"You know I do," she replied without hesitation.
"Then let me give you the pleasure you deserve."
I paused to wait for her approval to go forward. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded.
Taking my time, I began by working her robe off her shoulders and planting soft kisses along her delicate skin as I went. Once the robe was gone, I kissed my way back across her shoulder and along her neck until I was once again face to face with her. "You still good?"
She nodded again, giving me the encouragement I needed to continue. Slowly, I began to gather the hem of her nightgown, then tugged until I was able to pull it over her head. Immediately, she brought her hands up to cover her breasts. Knowing this was another hurdle for her to get past; I leaned back to give her some space but made a point to keep my eyes on her face. "You don't ever have to hide yourself from me, Precious."
She held my gaze but didn't move.
"It's okay if you're not as ready as you thought you were." The words left my mouth even as my dick throbbed in protest. "I won't be angry."
She swallowed audibly. "I do want this, Lester. I want you. I'm just trying to find the courage."
I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Then let me give you the courage."
When I pulled back, she was already lowering her hands. I was both humbled and honored by her trust in me. "You're beautiful," I said as I trailed a finger along the swell of her breast. "I promise that I'm going to make this good for you."
Using the slow and steady approach, I took my time learning every inch of her. Excitement and joy coursed through me as she heated under my touch. Her breathing quickened, then grew more desperate as I worshiped my way down her body. My first taste of her was like sipping the sweetest nectar. When she came screaming my name both my heart and balls threatened to explode.
"Oh God, Lester. Please."
Intent on giving her exactly what she was asking for, I stood, unbuckled my belt, and then reached into my back pocket for my wallet. I pulled the condom from inside but before I could rip it open Casey's loud sob caught my attention. My gaze darted up to find the passion in her eyes gone. In its place was a look of terror.
My first thought was someone had entered the apartment without our knowledge. I dropped my wallet, reached for my weapon, and spun around to look behind me. When I didn't see anything, I turned back to face her. She still appeared frightened. "Precious, what's wrong?"
She'd pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and now had it covering her body up to her chin. Her eyes were locked on me, causing my confusion to increase. What in the hell had I done to cause such a quick flip? I glanced down the front of me. My pants weren't even unzipped yet. So, that couldn't be the problem. She began to scramble back into the corner of the couch as I eased down to sit next to her. Fuck. I'd screwed up somehow and screwed up badly for her to now be afraid of me.
"Casey, honey. Please tell me what's wrong."
Her attention drifted to my hand still holding the condom. Was that the problem? "Is it the condom?" I asked as I held it up. She closed her eyes and whimpered, confirming my suspicion. I leaned over the arm of the couch and tossed the condom packet in the trash can a few feet away. Then I turned back to face her. "It's gone, Sweetheart. I got rid of it."
Her breathing continued to hitch, and her eyes remained closed.
"Casey, please look at me."
Slowly she opened her now glassy eyes and met my gaze. Seeing her so upset and knowing I'd caused it was worse than getting shot last year.
"Take a deep breath," I instructed. When she followed my direction, I continued. "Again. Keep taking deep long breaths and try to relax."
After a couple of minutes, she sighed, then reached up with one hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I-I'm so sorry, Lester."
Obviously, the condom was some sort of trigger and the last thing I wanted was for her to feel guilty for freaking out. I just wanted to understand why. "Don't ever be sorry for your feelings," I said. "But do you think you can explain to me why the condom upset you?"
She kept the blanket wrapped around her as she sat up and leaned forward. Her hand shook as she reached for me. I took her hand in mine and instantly felt slightly better with the contact. "I want to make it clear that none of this was your fault, Lester," she began. "Honestly, I didn't think about the need for protection for us."
"I wouldn't have used one," I replied, "But I didn't want to risk a pregnancy this early in our relationship."
The sadness in her eyes deepened. "I'm not sure I can get pregnant, but that's a conversation for another time."
It took some work to keep the shock from showing on my face. She couldn't have children? While I don't want kids right now or even anytime soon, the possibility of someday having a family did exist in the back of my mind. Like she said though, that was a conversation for another time. Right now, I still need the answer to my condom question. I gave her statement a nod, then motioned with my free hand for her to continue.
"It's so stupid," she said. "Especially since it was for my protection, but Clayton always made his customers wear condoms with us," she replied. "Every time I'd see a condom or hear the package tear open, I'd have to brace myself, because I knew what was coming next. I just didn't realize or think about how that might affect me later."
Shit. I should have moved slower with her. I should have had more discussions about her time with Blackmore, but I hadn't wanted to upset her when she seemed to be doing so well. If I had forced the conversation, maybe I would have found out sooner that the PTSD she suffered had multiple triggers.
I squeezed her hand. "It's not stupid, Precious. Actually, it makes perfect sense that you might have some aversions or triggers after the trauma you've been through. I'm just sorry I didn't think to ask about them. Maybe if I had, I could have avoided causing you more pain."
She shook her head. "You had no way of knowing and no reason to think of asking about such a quirky issue. I really wanted tonight with you, Lester, and I feel horrible that I ruined it."
"Don't," I said as I reached out and pulled her onto my lap so that she was sitting sideways across me. "I was able to show you some pleasure. So, it's not a complete loss." I stroked a finger along her cheek. "Plus, now that I know, moving forward, we'll be able to handle this situation better. If that means slowing things down again. Then that's what we'll do." Though I'm pretty sure if that happens my dick is going to organize a mutiny.
She leaned her head against my chest and sighed. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, Lester, but I do make a point to thank God every day that you were the one to find me."
My brow arched at her statement. So, maybe she hadn't completely lost her faith after all? "I think you have that backward, Sweetheart. I should be the one thanking God for you."
She pulled her head away and looked up at me. "Even after I panicked and ruined the evening?"
"I told you," I said before I pressed my lips to her forehead. "You didn't ruin the evening."
"But I freaked out before you were able to take your pleasure," she argued. "You must be so frustrated with me."
I'd admit to being frustrated, but it wasn't with her. It was with the situation and with Blackmore. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that the shower and my hand would serve as a substitute, as mediocre as it might be.
